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The Cullens Go Camping, For Real

Summary:
The Cullens take Bella camping. Not to be confused with hunting. what will they make Bella do. NO ANGST. Im not good at summaries so just read it. May contain up to Eclipse spoilers.


Notes:


2. Camping Rules

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1839   Review this Chapter

I swung open the car door quickly in a hopeless attempt to get out, but of course I ended up stumbling and falling as soon as my foot touched the perfectly stable, flat surface of the Cullen's driveway. And of course with my luck, Emmett stood less than three feet away having just witnessed the whole ordeal, bringing up a typical blush as his laughter boomed around the Cullen estate. Edward had been standing near Emmett and was racing to help me up, though it was done with a smile placed on his lips as if holding back a laugh-I glared at him. It wasn't fair. Whilst the Cullen's were blessed with the common vampiristic features of inhuman beauty and the grace of an antelope– I was the one who was just an ordinary member of the Forks community, with the lucky gift of being accident-prone. Thanks dad!

I stumbled numerous times walking up to the porch while Edward held onto me smiling and shaking his head. It was easy for him to laugh, he wouldn't be the one spending the entire trip constantly falling over tree roots or getting bitten by mosquitos. But in a short moment I forgot my anger towards him as he cautiously wrapped me into his arms burying his head into my hair, inhaling. Perfect, I forgot how much of an ego boost it was for someone to think you constantly smelt nice.

Damn vampires!

The second he released me the fear and nervousness of the coming trip was back in my mind. I saw Jasper flinch in the background, who now stood tensed behind Alice, poor Jasper I was probably giving him a major migraine. I saw Edward nod to him, probably having a silent conversation with Jasper.

“Excited about the camping trip, love?” Edward asked, his eyebrow raised into a perfect arch.

I would have honestly thought he was concerned about me as his voice dripped with smoothness and placidity but that was before I saw the big amused smile plastered on his face.

“Edward,” I groaned, “this isn't funny at all. Why would you put me through this when you know I'm just going to fall flat on my face?” He chuckled at my small tantrum.

“Isabella Marie Swan, how can you you think I’d ever let that happen,” he said with mock hurt, a faint smile playing at his lips, “I’m offended you’d think that”. He laughed and pulled me into a kiss.

“Excuse me lovebirds,” Alice interrupted her small figure standing behind us. I glared at her, probably a mirror image of Rosalie’s face when she was looking at me. “Come on now Bella, you'll have plenty of time for that while we're camping.” She said winking, “Unfortunately for me, I’ve already seen the proof”.

Carlisle then emerged out of the Cullen house, with Esme in tow. He stood with a hand placed elegantly around Esme's shoulders as she grinned up at him. “Well, that proof,” Carlisle said, his voice dripping with authority but with a hint humor, “Is exactly what I wanted to talk about”. Alice groaned and I knew this would would probably ruin a lot of alone time with Edward. “I have some ground rules to set for you.” Emmett groaned loudly. I immediately got anxious and I saw Jasper struggling to keep a hold on my mixed emotions, but in a matter of seconds I was completely relaxed...sleepy even. Maybe.... too...yaaaaawwwnn... sleepy.

“Take it down a notch, Jasper. I wanted you to calm her, not tranquilize her,” Edward said lightly.

“No don't!” Emmett cried faintly from the distance. “I wanna see how a dizzy Bella walks,” he added with a loud obnoxious laugh.

Jasper probably got it right this time, as I was finally calmed down.

“Emmett you-” I cut off Edward before he could finish, “Don’t, Edward. Don’t stoop to his level”.

“Sorry, love, you’re right,” he said fastening his arms around my waist and towing me into the house.

When we all got settled Carlisle started talking. “As you all know we are going to leave in a few hours time, to go camping. Hopefully you all are ready,” He said the last part looking at Alice. I could only imagine what she would be taking with her on the trip, “Now, I just wanted to set up a few rules. Not only will we be relatively close to the human camping grounds, but Bella will also be going, so we need to set up a few new rules to go by also,” Rosalie rolled her eyes and gave me a threatening look before going back to painting her nails. “So last night I sat down with Edward and came up with a few things, so here they are,” he said authoritatively, “and feel free to add anything we miss, Bella,” he added.

I was extremely embarrassed at this point. Being human sucked.

“Okay, first on the list is that no pranks will be committed,” he said this looking at Emmett. Emmett’s face dropped into one of sadness, which Carlisle noticed and after a moment of hesitation, and added, “well, at least none to Bella”. “Yes! Thank you, Carlisle,” Emmet shouted. Emmett held out his fist to Carlisle. “What are you doing Emmett?” asked Carlisle. “It’s called a fist-bump, you’re supposed to bump it back with your fist. I saw some kids doing it at school the other day, it’s like a high-five” explained Emmett.

Everyone laughed as Carlisle awkwardly bumped Emmett’s fist, except Rosalie who was shooting daggers with her eyes at Emmett, and hit the back of Emmett’s head when he sat down, even I could hear her telling Emmett off for what he did. Well, it’s not like he didn’t deserve it.

“Well, Moving on,” Carlisle said, trying to get back on track, “We will give each other privacy,” this was said looking at Alice, “and respect,” he said this like he was talking to first graders.

“There will be no random attacks toward each other, especially you two” he said pointing at Emmett and Jasper.

“Oh, come on, your taking all the fun out of this trip,” Emmett whined, “besides we don’t really hurt each other”.

“Yes, but you do ruin everything around you,” Esme said pointing at the most recent injury to her furniture, a broken painting leaning against the wall.

“Fine, point taken” Emmett said in defeat.

“Okay, Next rule, be courteous towards others” he said towards Rosalie, who looked like she was a bout to have a fit so carlisle told her she could just get out of the way, and that she didn’t have to be near anyone she didn’t want to be near to. It was quite clear who that anyone was.

“Also, even though it would be nice to know that I don’t need to state this rule, knowing you two,” looking towards Emmett and Rosalie, “I feel the need to remind you, that you should keep your love life to the confines of your tent”.

Emmett laughed at my blush. Why was I the one who got embarrassed.

“Also Bella I wanted to to tell you that there is a restroom near our campsite and whenever you need to go to the restroom, any one of us would be happy to accompany you,” Carlisle said this in the most professional way possible. But, of course, Emmett found a way to make fun of me.

“Yeah, Bella, we wouldn’t want you to be marking your territory in the woods, now, would we,” Emmett let out a roaring laugh. Everyone was frowning at his bad taste in jokes. He finally stopped when Rosalie slapped him in the back of the head.

Mark my territory? Where did Emmett come up with this stuff?

Two hours later everything was packed and ready to go. We had most of our luggage on Emmett’s Jeep, where Emmett and Rosalie would be riding up in. Alice had filled up the entire Jeep with just her wardrobe, so the rest of us were going in Edward’s Volvo and Carlisle’s Mercedes.

Alice and I sat together in the backseat of Edward’s-luggage cramped-Volvo; she stared dejectedly outside the window, as the scenery smeared into an all-pervading shade of green, as usual we were probably going 50 mph over the speed limit. For the first time in thirty minutes she moved. A tiny movement as she concentrated on her perfect nails, in obvious denial of Carlisle’s actions, Carlisle had made Alice leave three of her 15 luggage bags. That was when I couldn’t take it any longer.

“Alice Cullen, I swear if you don’t stop ignoring me now I will burn all your luggage.” She glared at me with the most fury I have ever seen on her usually cheerful face. I would not be manipulated over this. “Alice, come on its only three suitcases! We’re only going for three days!” I proclaimed. She didn’t say anything, just focused her attention back to the road with a small “humph”.

“Jasper, do something please?” I pleaded with him from the backseat. He diverted his attention to me, his golden eyes content with humor. He shook his head. I tried again, “Please? Can’t you just calm her down or something?”

He sighed, “Sorry Bella, I wish I could, but she already said that I can’t use my powers on her,” He said apologetically. Edward then turned to look at him a hint of disbelief in his features.

“She’s your wife Jazz, I’m sure that you could calm her down without powers?” He said grudgingly tired of listening to Alice complain in her thoughts. “What about what you always do to calm her when you can’t use your powers,” Edward added with a smile. Jasper shook his head, smiling communicating to Edward with what I knew wouldn’t be exactly PG-13. “Why not? You two were at it all last night!” Edward said, humor filling his eyes. I giggled under my breath, Alice’s head snapped up, looking from Jasper to Edward and back again.

“Ok, Ok, I’m over it!” She almost shouted in such desperation. It sent us all into a fit of hysterical laughter, when it was over I muttered, “Why, what’re you trying to hide?” And then Alice Cullen, ALICE CULLEN, looked as though she would be blushing if it were possible. This pleased me, and soon after the atmosphere turned comfortable with us all laughing and joking along. The journey seemed to pass without faults and I noticed we were now far from town.

The conversation of the benefits of shopping came to an abrupt halt as Alice stared out into space, the same facial expression she wore whenever she was having a vision. I heard Edward growl, a low animalistic sound, it immediately set me on edge.

She sighed, “So much for built in radar detector,” she said shaking her head. I looked at her inquisitively. She shook it off, but my curiosity didn’t fade. Edward seemed to become more and more impatient as we neared the campsite.

"Edward? What’s going on?" I said looking adamant. I wanted an answer and an answer I would get. Apparently I spoke to soon, there was a loud banging sound on the car door. Oh NO!