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A change of heart; Edward's New Moon

Summary:

A change of heart Banner done by the wounderful Eternitys_Charm After Edward is saved by Bella in New Moon, she leaves him for Jacob.... How does Edward cope with losing his love..... we shall see
Edwards POVThis is NOT a Jacob/Bella story, it's primarily Edward


Notes:


1. Loss

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 885   Review this Chapter

I stood in front of my life, my love my Bella. She had called me out to the woods, in the same spot where I’d made the stupidest mistake of my existence. Where I’d told her I wasn’t coming back, but yet, here I was standing in front of her, after she’d risked it all to stop me from the Volturi. She stared at me, a small frown on her face.

“Edward I... I have something to tell you... I”

A sour taste filled my mouth, even though I wasn’t Alice I could fell something bad coming. I nodded, unable to speak. This had been coming for some weeks now. It had been 3weeks since the whole Volturi run in. Ever since that time, Bella had been acting odd. I knew it had something to do with Jacob Black. He would come over often, especially after I left her house. I’d known there was something between them. I had just ignored it, hoping it wasn’t true.

“When you left.”I winced.“I went numb... I thought I couldn’t move on and then I met Jacob.”

I felt my lips pull back from my teeth; it was an automatic response to that dog’s name.

“Don’t be like that” Bella said, noticing my expression, her frown deepening,

“Jake helped me when no one else could.”

I winced again; the thought of that dog helping her repulsed me.

“What are you saying Bella?” I knew exactly where she was going, but I needed her to say it. I needed to hear it out loud.

She stepped towards me and placed her hands on my cheeks. Looking up at me she stared into my eyes for a few moments. I saw none of the previous passion for me there; instead I saw a brotherly affection than made my heart ache. Then, her voice so soft it sounded as if she was talking to herself, she whispered

“I’m so sorry. I still love you Edward,but it’s more like a brother. I love Jacob now.I’m sorry it’s... over”

I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. She couldn’t be serious, but yet as I looked into those soulful chocolate brown eyes again, I knew, I knew.... it was true and she was lost to me. She stepped away from me, the wind blew and I got a whiff of her intoxicating sent. I realised it would probably be the last time I would smell her. My brain couldn’t comprehend.. for the first time in over 100 years I found the one thing I couldn’t understand.

“Why?” I whispered my voice cracking.

“I’m sorry Edward.I, just...I...I”

“No, Bella,I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you.” My voice had gone soft and dead, “Be happy” I said as I kissed her forehead. She flinched, obviously used to the warm kisses he could give her. I stepped away from her as I smelt him approach,

“Good-bye” I whispered.

He was close enough now that she could hear him approach too. He stepped into the clearing and I backed up a few more steps.“I’m sorry Edward”, Bella whispered, as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Bella, my Bella, looked up at him; her eyes filled with sadness for me and love for him. He didn’t say anything, a fact I was glad for. He just gave me a sad smile, as if he understood my pain.I turned and ran.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I tore through the woods, the wind that once felt freeing, and soothing now felt harsh and cruel against my face. I reached the house, memories of the first time I brought Bella here washing over me, mocking me and ripping a hole in my chest.

I bolted up the stairs to my room, ripping some of the stairs loose as I went. Rage, unfathomable rage, filled me, not at her and not at him, but rage at myself, for being the cause of all this.

If I hadn’t left.No.what tortured me the most was the thought that even if I had stayed, she would have found him. As much as I hated to admit it he was better for her... more human. He could give her things I couldn’t; she could stay beautifully human with him.

I ripped my stereo off the stand, with a half roar, half sob I hurled it though the glass wall of my room. The glass shattered, raining down on the grass below. The wires holding the speakers to the base were ripped from the wall, pulling them through the hole in window. I began grabbing CDs off the racks and started to throw them at the wall, some shattered, while others embedded themselves in the plaster. My arms flew faster and faster, until they were just a blur to human eyes.

In seconds, the racks were empty. I fell to the floor, dry sobs racking my throat. I heard Carlisle and Jasper come into my room. Carlisle crouched in front of me,

“I’m so sorry Edward... so sorry” He said wrapping his arms around me, in a fatherly embrace. Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder attempting to send calming waves to me.

I shoved both of them away and curled into a ball on the floor, my sobs turning into whimpers. I was not lucky enough to be able to fade into unconsciousness.

I went numb.

I did not resurface.