A change of heart; Edward's New Moon
Banner done by the wounderful Eternitys_Charm After Edward is saved by Bella in New Moon, she leaves him for Jacob.... How does Edward cope with losing his love..... we shall see
Edwards POVThis is NOT a Jacob/Bella story, it's primarily Edward
2. force of nature
Rating 0/5 Word Count 1024 Review this Chapter
I lay curled up on my bedroom floor, the gold carpet being flattened my cold hard cheek. It had been three weeks, two days, fourteen hours, fifteen minutes and thirty - six seconds since I’d lost my love. It hurt to think her name.
Carlisle walked into my room then, the same worried expression he’d had on his face for the past 3 weeks still in place.
“Edward,” he said calmly, almost tiredly, “You need to hunt, your family and I can’t stand to see you waste away like this.”
I knew I needed to hunt the burn at the back off my throat was unbearable, my entire existence was unbearable so it didn’t really matter, one way or another. Unwillingly, I thought back to the past three weeks. Of course, being a vampire, I could remember every single detail of those weeks as if they’d happened in the past few hours.
The family hadn’t believed it at first. Rosalie was taking it the best, she had never been close to Bella and she blamed her for my condition. My condition, that’s what they called it.
Emmet and Jasper were in shock. Emmet missed Bella and Jasper couldn’t comprehend how she could choose dogs over us.
Carlisle, Esme and Alice were taking it the worst. Esme and Carlisle, even though they wanted Bella to be happy, still felt as if they’d lost a daughter. Alice had seen bits of this coming, partly due to the fact that Bella’s future kept vanishing. I did not blame her though, I only blamed myself.
At first, just after it happened, my family members left me alone, they knew I liked to be left alone with my problems, then as time went by someone would come and sit with me. They wouldn’t talk, but just sit and stare at the floor with me. Esme and Alice came the most but, their thoughts were too painful to bear so Carlisle made them stop. I’d didn’t care one way or another, I was too numb.
Carlisle would sit, his thoughts calm and soothing, but laced with hurt at my state. Surprisingly Jasper was the most soothing to have around, his thoughts were perfectly calm and controlled, they never once strayed to Bella, and his soothing waves helped some. I had become somehow closer to my newest brother in these past weeks.
Now here Carlisle was, nagging me to hunt. That was the last thing I needed write now.
“Edward,” Carlisle said again.
Looking up at him from my position on the floor, I gave him my famous black stare. He just raised one blonde brow and looked down on me,
“Do you want to waste away then?” he said, a trace of anger in his voice, “I know it hurts,” Carlisle said gentler this time, as he crouched down by me, “but you can’t do this to yourself.”
“You” I snarled, standing up slowly, “what would you know about this, you’ve never been in this position. How would you feel, Carlisle, if Esme left you?” I hissed through my teeth as I stepped closer to him.
I could feel my anger boiling inside me, trying to find a way out. As I stepped closer Carlisle calmly took a step back.
That did it.
“How would you feel, Carlisle?” I roared as I shoved him away using all my strength, Carlisle flew across the room, crashing thought the wall with the now empty CD racks. I leapt after him, wrapping my hands around his neck, I began to pound his head into the floor over and over.“What would you feel Carlisle? What would you feel?”I shrieked, my voice becoming crazed.
I felt two pairs of strong arms wrap around me and pull me off Carlisle. I kicked and thrashed, shrieking like a madman.“
What would you do, what would you do?” I couldn’t stop repeating the phrase, my voice sounded crazed and sick even to me. Emmet pulled my head back by my hair and rammed it into the opposite wall. My shrieking died down into a whimper, the blow didn’t hurt but it was enough to bring me to my senses. Emmet still had his arms around me holding me as the sobs shook my frame.
Carlisle stood up, dusting off his clothes. Esme had come into the room and she placed a hand on my arm to comfort me. I snarled.
“ That’s it,” Carlisle said, his gold gaze meeting my black one, “I didn’t want to do this, Edward, but I have no other choice, Emmet, Jasper,” he said nodding to them.
“No” I growled, when I heard his thoughts.
“I’m sorry” he whispered
Emmet and Jasper grabbed me and wrestled me out my room through the window. I kicked and thrashed wildly, but their combined strength was too much. In the back yard they held me down and Carlisle vanished into the woods.“
It’s for your own good Edward,” Emmet growled.
I ignored him and pressed my lips into a hard line. Carlisle returned a large deer in his grasp. The deer was still alive and it was struggling wildly. The animal’s scent washed over me, making venom pool in my mouth. I swallowed and turned my head away. Carlisle approached me and Emmet and Jasper sat me up. I let out a defiant roar.
Carlisle, his lips twisted into a frown, crouched down in front of me and snapped the deer’s neck. The venom rushed into my mouth, too much for me to swallow. I turned away from the mouth watering scent, fighting my inner monster. Carlisle’s hand reached around and twisted my face to the deer.
Instinct took over.
I pushed Emmet and Jasper aside, the push wasn’t very effective as I was weak from lack of blood, and dug my teeth into the soft flesh of the deer’s neck. The warm flavour filled my mouth, it was still slightly off, but to my starved monster it was enough.
I finished the deer and stood up, faster than human eyes could follow. I looked around wildly.
I wanted more, I needed more blood.
Without a word I took off into the trees.