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Belonging

Summary:
banner Heaven just moved to Eatonville Washington. Another move due to her "problems". She is dying inside as her parents distance themselves from there "freak" daughter. She doesn't know why she is freak, or how she ended up the way she is. Edward is bruised and broken after Bella chose a life with Jacob over him. Can Heaven let the Cullen's know her secret? Will Edward drop his walls and let this sweet stranger into his life? Will she ever find somewhere that she truly belongs?


Notes:


11. Chapter 11

Rating 0/5   Word Count 3844   Review this Chapter

When we stepped inside the gymnasium it was dark, and there were strobe lights of all different colors on. I saw the rest of my classmates moving to the upbeat song that was playing. Chris grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor. Immediately he started grinding against me. My guard tried to run up my legs at so much physical contact, but I shoved it away.

It was awkward dancing with Chris, but eventually I let loose and began to grind back against him. Alice and Jasper were dancing to the music next to us, their movements in perfect sync. The next song came on and Chris spun me around with my back to him, and began grinding against my butt. I moved back against him and I felt him get hard against me.

Immediately I turned to face him. I tried to keep my distance, but he grabbed me and pulled me closer. I could feel him against my leg, and pulled myself away again.

“I’m going to go get something to drink.” I turned and walked towards the refreshment tables. I grabbed a bottle of water and began sipping on it, the song ended and the DJ came on.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen… are you ready for the first slowwww dance of the night?” There were a few boos and hollers. A slow song started playing over the speakers. Chris was coming towards me; he grabbed me by the waist and pushed himself close to me.

“Ready to dance?” He muttered into my ear. Before I had a chance to respond he was dragging by the hand onto the dance floor. He grabbed my hips and put his arms around me. I had no choice than to put my arms around his neck.

The dance was again forced and awkward. I was thankful when it was over, but Chris did not let go of me. The DJ came on, announcing he would play one more. I looked over Chris’ shoulder to Alice and gave her a pleading look. She mumbled something to Jasper and he began to walk towards us. He tapped Chris on the shoulder,

“Mind if I cut in?” Chris shot him a dirty look, but let go of me. Jasper took my hand, the song began to play. I felt the warmth spreading up my legs and I pushed it back. Jasper kept his distance from me, and before the first line of the song was out of the speakers, I saw Edward standing next to him.

Jasper removed his hand from mine, and Edward took it quickly. I tried to pull away, but he pulled me closer to him. I scanned him up and down, and he was the most handsome I’d ever seen. His hair was disheveled as usual, and the contrast of his pale skin against the dark button up shirt he was wearing made him alluring. He smirked,

“Thank you.” he said.

I shot him a dirty look, “Get OUT of my head.” I said through gritted teeth. He placed his hand at the small of my back and pulled me close to him. He leant down and I felt his cold breath on my ear sending shivers down my spine. He began to quietly sing me the song,

I wanna drink that shot of whiskey
I wanna smoke that cigarette
I wanna smell that sweet addiction, on my breath
I wanna ride across West Virginia, in the back seat of a Cadillac
You know some cowboys like me go out like that
So I need you
Like a needle needs a vein
Like my uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain
And I need you
Like a lighthouse on the coast
Like the father and the son need the Holy Ghost
So I need you

Like a needle needs a vein
Like my uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain
And I need you
Like a lighthouse on the coast
Like the father and the son need the Holy Ghost
I need you

I wanna get lost in some corner booth, Cantina Mexico
I wanna dance to the static of an AM radio
I wanna wrap the moon around us, lay beside you skin on skin
Make love till the sun comes up, till the sun goes down again
Cause I need you

Like a needle needs a vein
Like my uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain
I need you
Like a lighthouse needs a coast
Like the father and the son need the Holy Ghost
I need you, OOH I need you


When the song was nearing the end he pulled his head back and looked down at me. I saw so many emotions running through his eyes. He ran his hand up my back to the back of my neck, his face inched towards mine. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his, and I felt his breath on my lips.

The song ended and I snapped out of the trance he held me in and pulled away before our lips connected. I pushed him away roughly.

“What are you doing?” I spit. I saw the surprise on his face before I turned around and began walking towards the exit, I ran right into Chris.

“Hey what were you dancing with him for?” He glanced of my shoulder. I ignored his question and he continued,

“Me and a couple friends wanna get out of here. I want you to come.” I glanced over my shoulder and saw Edward headed towards us.

I acted on impulse, “Yeah lets go.” I tried shoving him out the door, but he didn’t move quickly enough. I felt the heat rising over me, and again I forced it away. Cold fingers wrapped around my upper arm. I looked up at Edward and his eyes were pleading with me,

“Don’t go with him.”

I looked him square in the face, “Leave me alone Edward, I’ll go where I want to.”

“Please, Heaven. You don’t know what’s going on in his head. I DO.” Anger was replacing the pleading in his eyes.

“Let go.” I pulled my arm roughly away, and I felt his fingers dig in a little before he let go of me. I saw panic flashing threw his face. Chris was out the door waiting for me. Forgetting about Alice and Jasper I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his car.

Once in the car I began to shiver. My nerves and cold were starting to bother me. Chris glanced my way,

“Are you cold?” He asked. I nodded my head. He turned on the heater.

“We’ll be there in just a few minutes. Then we can warm up.” He gave a small chuckle as if laughing to a joke.

“Where are we going?” I questioned.

“Where going to my buddy Brent’s place. It just up the road.” He drove for a bit longer, and he turned right onto a dark road. I looked in the side mirror and saw two other cars turning behind us. I hoped neither of them were Edward.

We pulled up in front of a large home. Chris got out and walked around to open my door. He grabbed me by the hand.

“Let’s go.” I saw a light on in the front, and could hear laughter coming from the window.

When we got inside I looked around. The living room was rich and immaculate. I saw a boy sitting on a couch puffing on a cigarette his arm flung over a pretty girls shoulders. They both still had on there attire from the dance. The boy looked up at Chris and lifted his hand up.

“What’s up man!” I assumed this was Brent. Chris nodded his head, the boys eyes shot over to me, and they scanned me up and down. He had a devilish look in his eye. I felt the warmth rising up my legs and I pushed it away.

A large group of kids from the dance walked in and Brent turned on some music.
Before long everyone was dancing and drinking. Chris took me into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of something out of the fridge.

“Do you drink?” he questioned, I shook my head “I never have.”

“Well it’s time you try it.” He got two small glasses he referred to as shot glasses and poured some of the clear liquid into each one.

“Here.” He set one on the counter in front of me. I shook my head hesitantly. He quickly swallowed his, and grabbed mine. He held it up to my lips.

“Come on, just try it.” I opened my mouth and he poured it in. It tasted terrible, I tried to spit it out but he put his hands over my mouth.

“Swallow it quick.” I swallowed the gulp and it burned my throat badly as it went down. He quickly handed me more liquid in a brown bottle.

“Here now take a drink of this, it takes the burn away.” I took a quick drink and the burn diminished. I heard kids laughing and something break in the living room.

“What was that?” I asked him.

“It’s extra dry gin. His dad drinks it on ice.” I scrunched up my nose,

“Well that’s stuff is terrible, how can anyone enjoy drinking it?” He grabbed another bottle from the refrigerator

“Well here try this, it’s a lot better.” I began to disagree but he looked at me and pouted.

“Oh come on. Don’t be a wimp.” I watched as he poured from this bottle into the shot glasses. He took his quickly and handed me mine. I looked at him and brought the glass up to my lips and swallowed it down.

I grabbed the brown bottle and took a drink. This time my throat didn’t burn as bad.

“Not bad huh?” He asked. I shook my head. I began to feel a bit dizzy, and my stomach churned.

“You feeling it yet?” He asked me. I nodded my head, though I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel. He pulled me through the kitchen back into the living room. I was very dizzy now, and everything seemed a lot funnier.

I felt giddy and happy. I watched all the kids talking and laughing, and began to laugh with them. Everyone had a brown bottle in there hand, and Chris handed me one.

“Have a beer.” I opened the bottle and sat down on the couch. My body was relaxed, and I giggled at some boys pushing each other around. Chris sat next to me and draped his arm over my shoulders.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. I looked at him and smiled.

“Great,” I laid my head on him and he let his hand travel down my shoulder and onto my breast. He began to play with it and I giggled. I pulled his hand away and playfully pushed him away.

When my arm connected with his chest he grabbed me and pulled me to him. His lips connected with mine forcefully. I kissed him back, and wrapped my arms around his neck. When I closed my eyes I my mind filled with Edwards handsome face, and began to kiss him more forcefully. He pulled away from me and I opened my eyes, disappointed with who was before me
.
He stood up from the couch, and picked me up. He glanced over his shoulder and shouted to Brent,

“I’m using your parents room man.” I looked over his shoulder Brent smiled, and I heard hollers and cat calls.

He carried me into a bedroom and tossed me onto the bed. He climbed on top of me and began to kiss down my neck to my breasts. I ran my hands through his hair. It was coarse and rough. Suddenly reality hit me once again through my fuzzy thoughts and I realized what was happening.

“Wait Chris.” He looked up at me, his hand pulling away my dress and exposing my bare breast. His mouth found my nipple, and I felt the warmth shoot up my legs. I quickly pushed it back down. I wasn’t ready to be discovered and move, leaving the only family I had.

“Chris, stop please.” He looked back up at me and brought his face to mine. He pushed his lips against mine hard and his tongue slithered between my lips. I tried to push him away, but he came back with more force.

“Come on baby, you wanted it in the living room.” He muttered between kisses. I felt his hand squeeze my breast roughly. I tried to push him away again. I turned my face away from his, “Chris please stop.” He grabbed my jaw hard and pushed his lips to mine, I felt him move between my legs.

He lifted my dress up, and I heard him unzip his zipper with his other hand. I was unable to move with him on me and I tried to squirm my legs out from under him. Squirming only made him lay with more weight on me. I felt him put pressure against my underwear and I started to cry, “Please Chris stop”. He bit down on my lip hard.

There was shouting outside the door, and I heard it slam open against the wall. Before I realized what was happening Chris was pulled off of me and yelped. I looked up just as Alice was grabbing my hand and pulling me into a sitting position and pulled my dress back over my bare breasts. I saw Edward had Chris by the throat, and Jasper and Emmett had their hands on Edwards shoulders. The anger on his face was evident.

Please Edward stop.

“Come on Heaven.” Alice said. I tried to stand from the bed, but my legs were weak and the room was spinning. Edward glanced over towards me and dropped Chris and he fell to the ground. He walked over and picked me up like he had when he carried me to bed the previous night.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to sob. Emmett and Jasper walked in front of him through the crowds of kids, who were muttering threats and complaints.

Once outside Alice came and kissed me on the forehead before Edward put me in the passenger seat, “Your okay now.” she whispered into my ear.

Once Edward put me in the car I leaned forward and clutched my stomach. I felt no warm sensation running up my legs, but there were patches all over my body. I knew the alcohol was having an effect on it, and I concentrated on pushing it away from me. I heard Edward get in, and slam his door shut. The tires squealed away from the curb.

“What were you thinking?” He shouted, “Why couldn’t you just listen to me!” I could hear the anger in his voice, “Why didn’t you protect yourself?”

I recalled what I was thinking when my guard tried to protect me.

Edward laughed bitterly, “So you’d rather get raped, get your virginity stolen by that infant than have to move away from us?” I lifted my head from my hands and looked at him.

“How did you know I’m a virgin?” I questioned, he looked at me.

“Because I could hear what you were thinking before I went into that room. I heard you pleading him, and pleading in your head.”

I was angry now, “Why can’t you just stay out of my head?”

His face contorted, “Well you should be glad I was in your head tonight, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten into that room fast enough to prevent what could have happened. I almost killed him you know! If Jasper hadn’t have been there I would have broken his neck!”

I thought about how Alice crushed the rock in the palm of her hand, and how Edwards hand had been around Chris’ throat.

“Exactly.” He said.

I sat up and folded my arms around my chest, “Just take me home Edward, now.”

He looked over to me, “I am.” He replied. He didn’t understand that I meant my home.

Take me to MY home.

He cringed and the rest of the way to my house was silent. When we arrived and he pulled into the driveway, I went to open my door but he was already there.

You can leave now.

I stepped out of the car quickly, to quickly and began to fall again. Edward’s hands were extended and he caught me once more.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said, I straightened and stumbled past him. I made it to my door slowly, trying to regain my balance. My head was spinning.

“That’s what happens when you drink too much.” He muttered. I snorted in reply. I fumbled with the door knob and made it inside. I walked over to the couch knocking something over on the way, and sat down in the dark. Edward found the light switch and turned it on.

“Do you need some water?” He asked.

I nodded in reply and began an irritating tune in my head. He was back in a few moments with a glass of water, and sat next to me.

“Why didn’t you just listen to me?” He questioned. I continued the tune in my head and ignored him. I stood up from the couch quickly, to quickly, and fell back down. I tried again more slowly and walked into the downstairs bathroom.

I looked in the mirror. My hair was disheveled and all over the place, my make-up was smeared and running. My dress was crooked and twisted wrong against my body. Lacking the energy to fix it, I used the bathroom quickly. When I opened the door Edward was standing outside it waiting for me. I shoved past him, nearly tripping on my own foot.

Why cant you just leave me alone?

“Why?” He asked trailing up the stairs behind me. I continued my irritating tune. I could feel my guard popping up in places all over my body and pushed it away. I tried to shut the door behind me when I reached my room but he stopped it and followed me inside.

I turned around and shouted at him, “WHAT DO YOU WANT? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

He looked at me with a smug smile.

“Do you really want me to leave you alone Heaven?” his voice was calm and even. I raised my eyebrow, wondering if it was a trick question.

“No it’s not a trick question.”

I looked at him angrily “YES. I want you to leave me alone, now get out.” He smiled again.

“Why?” He asked. I couldn’t take it any longer, tears started to spill over. I began to yell at him.

“WHY?! Your asking my why? Can’t you figure it out, haven’t you been in my head long enough to know?” He raised his eyebrows.

“I’ll tell you why Edward Cullen. Because you are driving me mad! You spill your heart out to me over your long lost love. About how much you loved her, about how you still do. You tell me I remind you of her. You treat me like I don’t exist one minute and the next you’re crawling in bed with me at night, holding me. Not like a friend holds a friend, but how a lover would hold a lover. You treated me like crap all day today.”

I took a deep breath and held it for a moment, “Remember that comment you made when I asked you how I looked before the dance? Then you show up, sing to me and you almost…almost..” I stuttered on my words. He looked up at me,

“Kissed you?” I could see the pain in his eyes, I knew he was thinking of Bella.

“Yes!” I shouted, “I’M NOT BELLA!” I screamed, “Stop pretending I am! I can’t take it, your toying with my emotions! It’s not like I haven’t had enough of that my ENTIRE LIFE!”

I was inches away from him now. I started swinging my fists frantically at him, he caught one of my hands and the other connected with his cheek.

Immediately I yelped in pain and pulled my hand back. More tears started to flow over. He let go of my hand and I stormed to my bed and threw myself down. I felt his cold hands on my back.

“You’ve had far too much to drink Heaven, your mind is nothing but a huge jumble. Get some sleep.” I looked up at him teary eyed.

“You think I just said what I said because of the alcohol? Well you’re wrong Edward.”

He laid his head next to mine, and whispered into my ear.

“I know your not Bella, Heaven. Your are the exact opposite.” I blinked away the tears and turned my head to face his, our noses nearly touching.

“When I hold you, you don’t begin to shiver. You press your body closer to mine. You make me feel like I’m not the monster I thought I was. Your thoughts are almost mirror images of my own. You’ve dealt with more of the monster in me than anyone. I know I can be cold to you, but I feel pulled in two opposite directions.”

He took a deep breath, “You haven’t realized that you toy with my emotions unintentionally. I need you Heaven; you’re my light in the darkest days. I want to give myself to you, to let you have me. But I can’t, I’m held back. Bella has a hold on my heart, and you have a hold on my soul.” He smiled, “If I have one that is.”

I rolled to my side and placed my hand on the side of his cool face, “You have a soul Edward, a beautiful one. If that’s all I can have from you, then I will take it.” I looked into his eyes.

It happened slowly, as if we were both frightened for it to happen. He moved his face the small distance it took to meet my lips. I kissed him back hungrily, wanting. I needed him, any part of him I could have. I felt his cool tongue part my lips and enter my mouth. His tongue massaged my own, slow and gentle.

I pulled him closer to me and tangled my fingers through his tousled hair. It felt like electricity was flowing threw my entire body. His cool hands ran up my leg and he rubbed it over my thigh. I felt the moisture pool between my legs. He ended the kiss by pulling me away slowly. He put his hand on the side of my face and kissed my forehead.

“You’re drunk, you need some sleep. I shouldn’t have done what I just did, I’m no better than the infant you were with earlier.”

“I wanted that Edward, more than you could possibly imagine. I wanted that and so much more.” He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose.

“Sleep Heaven.” I crawled up onto the pillows and laid my head down. He stood up and I rolled over to face him,

“Stay with me please.” The longing look in his eyes was replaced with pain, I knew instantly what I had done.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a reminder any more than you want me to.” He took his shirt off and climbed in bed next to me, I could feel his cool bare chest pressed again my bare back. It felt nice and refreshing; he let out a small laugh.

“I’m glad you think so.” I snuggled up closer to him, and with his sweet kiss replaying over and over in my mind I fell into a deep sleep.