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Belonging

Summary:
banner Heaven just moved to Eatonville Washington. Another move due to her "problems". She is dying inside as her parents distance themselves from there "freak" daughter. She doesn't know why she is freak, or how she ended up the way she is. Edward is bruised and broken after Bella chose a life with Jacob over him. Can Heaven let the Cullen's know her secret? Will Edward drop his walls and let this sweet stranger into his life? Will she ever find somewhere that she truly belongs?


Notes:


12. Chapter 12

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3119   Review this Chapter

When I woke up my body felt weak, and my stomach ached badly. I stretched my arms and sat up in bed and looked around. Realizing I was in my room, in my own house I couldn’t recall how I had gotten there. I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes to try to remember what happened the previous night. I remembered Chris pouring me shot glasses of alcohol, things got a bit fuzzy after that.

Laying my head back down on my pillows, I looked up at the ceiling. Dread built up in my stomach, and I hopped that I hadn’t done anything stupid. I heard my bedroom door open and felt the heat rising up my legs, I looked up to see Edward carrying a glass of water.

Suddenly everything came rushing back, Chris trying to force himself on, Alice and Edward showing up and stopping him. Bits and pieces of mine and Edward’s conversation from the previous night came together, and I remember us kissing. I let the warmth flush over me, the last thing I wanted was him in my head.

“How are you feeling?” He asked and handed me the glass of water, I shook my head slowly.

“I’m not really sure.” I was confused; it felt like my brain had a fog laying over it. The words of our conversation came back to me. The heat rose into my cheeks, I didn’t want to believe I had said those things to him.

“Do you have a headache?” He asked, I shook my head and sat up taking a long drink of the water he brought me. I stayed silent.

“Well you do you want breakfast?” I thought about eating and felt my stomach churn.

“Not right now.” I muttered. He looked awkward for a moment,

“What’s wrong?” I looked up at him and we made eye contact. His eyes were full of anxiety.

“Nothing,” I replied quickly, what I would have given to have been able to hear his thoughts for once. We sat in an awkward silence. I wasn’t sure where we stood at this point, were we friends, lovers?

I knew he loved Bella, but I couldn’t help but remember our kiss and want more. I knew I would merely be a substitute, never could I replace her. I remembered his words, Bella has my heart, you have my soul.

I wanted any part of him I could have.

He saw the sadness on my face and sat on the bed next to me,

“What’s wrong?” He questioned again, “Tell me.” I looked down at my hands,

“Nothing Edward. I’m overwhelmed right now.” It’s not like I was going to tell him that only a week ago I hated him more than any person I’d ever met, and now I was falling deeply in love with him. I was falling in love with someone who was already bruised and broken, just as badly as I was.

I sighed loudly, and climbed out of the bed. Pulling my dress down quickly, I stepped passed him. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, I wanted to kiss him and tell him it was okay. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

Making my way to the bathroom, my legs were shaking. I didn’t know what to do, or how to approach it.

Once out of the shower, my body felt much better. Wrapping myself in my robe, I walked back to my bedroom. I felt the heat rising up my feet and I found Edward sitting on the bed where I left him. He had his head in his hands, and he looked up to me. His features were contorted in pain.

“I’m sorry.” He said

“For what?”

“For last night. It’s unfair to you.”

“What was unfair to me?” I asked.

“For me to kiss you, for me to want you in any other way than friendship.” I felt a lump build in my throat,

“Why Edward?” I asked him,

“Because! I’ll never be yours. She has me forever. I have her forever sealed into my mind, my heart.” I swallowed the lump.

“I know that, I never expected you to be mine!” He ran his hands through his hair, and did not respond. I continued, “All I want is what you can give me. I need something Edward, anything. I feel as if I am going to be alone for the rest of my life.” I sobbed, my wet hair was sticking to my forehead.

“I’ll give you anything you want me to Edward, and happily. You’ve been inside my head; you’re the only person who has ever understood me. I know you feel the same way, you said so last night. You told me my thoughts were mirror images of your own. I didn’t say the things I said because I was drunk; I said them because I meant them.”

“I will only hurt you Heaven, the monster in me will drive you away, just like it did Bella.”

“I’ve told you once, I’m NOT Bella. I will never leave you, or your family Edward. That’s MY family now too. The only real one I’ve ever had. There is nothing you could do that would drive me away.”

He sighed loudly and then I heard something vibrating. Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver cell phone.

“It’s Carlisle.” I heard him mutter, he flipped it open.

“Yeah?” He spoke into the phone, “Just a second,” He pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed a button. I heard Carlisle loudly over the speaker,

“Heaven, can you hear me?” I walked over and sat next to Edward on the bed,

“Yes, I can hear you.”

“I need you to come over as quickly as you can. I got your blood test results back.” I looked at Edward and raised my eyebrows.

“Alright Carlisle, I’ll have her there shortly.” He said, and hung up the phone.

Standing up from the bed he turned to me.

“Get dressed, we need to go.” He started out of the room, I pushed the warmth away from me and let him in my head as he was about to exit my room,

You don’t have to go.

He turned around quickly, and I gave him a sly smile. He looked at me in shock, and his velvety voice was unusually uneven,

“Ugh, Carlisle said as quickly as we can.”

My cheeks got warm, and he walked out of the room.

Frustrated I let my guard flush over me again.

Standing up and walking to my closet quickly, I flung the door open and grabbed some sweat pants and a white shirt. After putting it on quickly, I threw my hair up.

When I got downstairs Edward was sitting on the couch. He appeared to be deep in thought, but turned to me when I walked into the room.

“What was that, why did you want me to stay?” He asked.

“Just forget it.” I felt stupid at my futile attempt at seducing him, “Let’s go.” I walked towards the front door, and I felt him try to grab my arm. I turned to face him.

“Let me in.” He said it so quietly that I almost didn’t hear. His face was as close to mine as it could get without our lips touching. I shook my head and turned around and walked to the car.

When we arrived at the Cullen’s, Edward turned to me, “Carlisle wants us to meet him in his office.”

I stepped out of the car and headed for the house. Edward walked along side of me; I could feel the vibrations of his hand lightly brushing against mine.

When we walked into the front door, I heard Edward mutter “Amazing.”

I turned to him, “What?” I asked.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along faster, “I’ll let Carlisle explain, come on hurry.”

Carlisle was pacing around his office when we stepped in. He walked over to me and gave me a light hug.

“Heaven, I sure do have some interesting news for you.” He stepped back and held me out at arms length. Glancing down at Edward and my entwined hands, he smiled.

“Have a seat,” He motioned towards the two chairs sitting in front of his desk.

Edward let go of my hand, and I took a seat.

“Well, I got your blood test results back today, and I have to say what I have learned is quite astounding.” He smiled at me and then glanced at Edward, “I have discovered that you have one more chromosomal pair than a human being.” I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, and he continued.

“Myself, Edward, and those like us have two more, for a total of twenty five. You Heaven, have twenty four. A human has twenty three. It would appear that you are stuck in the middle between vampire and human being.”

I looked at him stunned.

“I’m not like you and the rest of the family though, that is impossible.”

He stood up and began to pace again, “That would be the only thing that could explain why it took venom to puncture your skin, and your blood has no scent, though yes, I agree. It sounds impossible. I’ve never heard or seen such a thing. Also I’ve never met one of our kind that has more than one ability, and you do.”

He stopped pacing and looked at me,

“That is something else I would like to talk with you about later. I would like to see if it is possible for you to expand your abilities. That’s besides the point though. I was wondering if you could give me your parent’s names, I would like to see if I can find out your great-great grandfathers name. Maybe do a small family tree?” He looked at me with hopeful eyes.

“Umm yeah of course. Helen and Tim James. My mothers maiden name is Johnson.” He smiled,

“Alright, well I’m going to start looking. I’ll come see you a little later alright?” I nodded my head and stood up. Edward walked with me in silence to my room, once inside he shut the door behind us.

“How could this be? I more of a freak than I thought I was.” Plopping down on my bed I hugged my knees. Edward sat next to me, he lifted his arm to put it around my shoulders and I pushed my guard down. Laying my head on his cool shoulder, I sighed.

Carlisle has never seen anything like me. Or even heard of it! I’m an inbreed is what I am Edward.

“No you’re not Heaven, you’re more like us than you thought. Didn’t you hear what Carlisle said?”

Yeah I heard him alright; I’m half vampire and half human. Which is impossible. Which means I shouldn’t exist.

Silent tears dripped down my cheeks, and Edward tilted my face up and wiped them away with his thumbs. He pushed the loose hairs away and ran his cool hand over my cheek. I felt the warmth try and move up my legs and I stopped it, I began to sing the same song he had sung to me at the dance in my head. His lips nearly touched mine when he jumped away and stood quickly.

I heard a slight knock at the door, and Alice stepped in.

“No, I’ll stay Alice you go ahead, I went yesterday.” Edward said quickly.

She walked over to the bed and gave me a quick hug.

“I’m going hunting, I‘ll be back in the morning. Sorry we haven‘t really gotten a chance to talk today. Are you okay?” She asked, I nodded my head. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She hugged me again and ran out of the room.

Edward looked at me and the pain was evident in his eyes,

What’s wrong? What I would give to get into your head. I gave him a small smile.

He walked over to the bed quickly and pressed his lips against mine forcefully; I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a slight tug. He moved so he hovered over me, and deepened the kiss.

Touch me.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled pulling his lips from mine for a brief second,

I’m not her Edward, touch me. Lose control.

He groaned, a mixture of pain from the reminder and lust. He moved his mouth down my chin to my neck, and I arched my back, pressing my body closer to him. I felt his teeth graze against my collar bone, and his lips connect. He began to suck hard down the line of my collar bone.

I tangled my fingers through his hair, and let out a pleasured moan. I felt the bulge in his slacks against my leg grow as he kissed further down my body. His hand slithered up my shirt and found my nipple, he caressed it gently and it hardened under his touch. I felt the miosture increase between my legs. His other hand gave a rough tug on my sweatpants and I felt them rip away from me.

“Push me away Heaven.” He mumbled between kisses on my stomach, he pushed my shirt up and exposed my bare breasts.

I can’t. I won't. Take me Edward.

His cold mouth found my nipple, and it hardened even more as he ran his tongue over it.

“Push me away, you don’t want this. You don’t need this.”

His touch on my other breast became harder and more firm, I screamed out loudly.

Don’t stop Edward, please don’t stop..

After he heard my thoughts, I knew he had lost all control. He ripped my shirt off of me, and tore my panties off quickly. My body lay bare under him. I grabbed his shirt and he moved his body so I could pull it over his head.

His hands explored my body, he squeezed my buttocks hard. I cried out, and he squeezed harder. I relished the pain he was putting me through, enjoying every second. I felt his teeth on my neck as he kissed his way back to my face. When our lips connected the kiss was rough, he bit down on my lower lip, sending moans of pleasure from my mouth. I reached my hands to his belt buckle and began to fumble with it. I felt his hand over mine; I thought he was going to stop me until I felt the belt snap.

“I can’t stop Heaven.” He whispered into my mouth. His hand glided up the side of my body. He lifted one of my arms over my head and entwined his fingers with mine.

He lifted me with the other arm and pulled me further up onto the bed. I felt him squirm out of his pants, and his cool legs against mine. I opened my legs, and he positioned himself between them. I could feel him pressing against me.

Mixed with my warmth, his cool created a mixture of the most amazing pleasure I had ever felt. Kissing me hard, he let out a moan and thrust forward forcefully. I screamed as I tore, he bit my lip to distract me from the pain and I could feel the blood running into my mouth.

He kissed me deeply and pulled out to thrust into me again, slower this time. I began to grind my hips against him. My body felt like electricity was flowling through me. He sped up his pace, and I moved against him harder. I moaned loudly.

Oh god Edward
.

I clung to his neck, and I felt him lift my buttocks from the bed slightly and thrust into me hard, the bed shifting beneath us. It sent me over the edge, and I began to scream out as a powerful climax came over me. I felt his body shudder, and I heard the loud tear of the comforter next to me. He groaned my name into my neck. Releasing his hold on me we laid in silence.

He pulled away from me and rolled over, laying on the bed staring at the ceiling he sighed loudly. I rolled onto my side to look at him, my entire body aching.

“I’m sorry.” he said, turning to look at me.

For what?

“For everything.” I could see the anguish dancing in his eyes. He stood up from the bed and walked out of the room. Tear’s building in my eyes, I jumped off of the bed.

Grabbing a towel that had been left from my shower a few days previous, I stormed out of the door after him. The aches in my body slowly diminishing. The cut on my lip nearly healed.

“Edward!” I shouted once I was in the hallway. The house was dark and quiet. Stomping to his door, I threw it open roughly. Soon realized I had never been in his room, I felt around for a wall switch and found nothing. I couldn’t see anything in the room, and took a step in.

“Just go Heaven, leave me be.” I saw his pale skin in front of me, and put my hands on his bare chest.

What is your problem Edward?

He laughed bitterly, “I just stole your virginity like a petty thief, and you ask me what my problem is.”

You are so frustrating, do you honestly believe that I didn’t want that? I don’t care if you love me, or if you can give me yourself as a whole. I will take every piece of you that you will let me have.

He pushed me roughly out into the hall.

“Don’t you understand Heaven, that Bella is my one and only. You will be left with hurt and misery. You don’t want me, stop wanting me! Don‘t let me have you! Push me away!” He shouted only inches from my face.

“NO!” I screamed. I turned and stormed down the hall, slamming the door to my bedroom. Throwing myself down onto my bed, I began to cry. I didn’t care if he wanted me or not. I wanted him. I ripped the torn comforter off of the bed and threw it on the floor.

Lying there face down crying for a long while, I heard the doorknob click and the door open. Moments later I felt Edwards cool hands running over my back.

“I’m sorry Heaven; I don’t mean to hurt you. I’m trying to save you.” I rolled onto my side and looked him in the eyes; I projected my thoughts loudly,

You trying to save Bella is what helped you lose her! Stop trying to save me, because you’re only hurting me by doing so.

I rolled over so my back faced him and sobbed. His cool body slid next to me and I snuggled up closer to him. He held me as I cried and sprinkled light kisses on my back.

I know I’ll never have all of you Edward, but please just let me have some.

He wrapped his arm around me tightly and breathed into my hair. I snuggled my naked body closer to his, and listened to him whisper the words of what I came to consider as, “our song” into my ear.