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Belonging

Summary:
banner Heaven just moved to Eatonville Washington. Another move due to her "problems". She is dying inside as her parents distance themselves from there "freak" daughter. She doesn't know why she is freak, or how she ended up the way she is. Edward is bruised and broken after Bella chose a life with Jacob over him. Can Heaven let the Cullen's know her secret? Will Edward drop his walls and let this sweet stranger into his life? Will she ever find somewhere that she truly belongs?


Notes:


25. Epilouge

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1810   Review this Chapter

I still think back to that day, after all of these years.

Once I had boarded the bus in Port Angeles, I felt like half of me had stayed behind. The bus ride was long, as were my sobs the entire way. I reflected on the past months I had spent with Edward and the rest of the Cullen’s. It killed me inside to leave them, but not as bad it would have killed me for Edward to leave me.

I arrived at another bus depot around four o’clock in the morning. I boarded the bus, and we were only a quarter of the way to our destination. My stomach began to grumble, and I felt as if I was going to vomit.

An old woman, the only other passenger on the bus, who wore ragged clothes and had many bags, sat next to me. She smelled terrible only making my nausea even worse.

“Hello, darling.” She croaked, “Where are you headed?”

I smiled politely, trying not to breath.

“Oregon.” I said, quietly.

“Why you traveling with only the clothes on your back dear?” I smiled sadly.

“It’s a long story.” She set her bags down and turned to face me.

“I have plenty of time for a long story.” She smiled at me, tears began to pool under my eyelids.

“I’d really rather not talk about it.” She gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Get it out darling.” A few tears slid down my cheeks. I told her about Edward, leaving out everything that would be damaging to either of us. I told her of how we fell in love, but his old love returned. She listened quietly, smiling a sad smile.

“Do you know he was going to leave you?” She asked. I nodded my head.

“But how could you know darling? Was he not worth taking a chance for?” I felt my heart skip a beat.

“He was worth the chance. But I’ve had enough hardship in my life. I couldn’t take the chance.” She smiled sadly.

“He will find you darling, if this man really loves you. You cannot run from love.”

I laughed sarcastically, “He will have who he wants.”

“From what you have told me darling, I feel that he wants you.” I shook my head sadly. This woman did not know the unbreakable bond between Edward and Bella. I did.

The bus lurched to a stop, and she stood up.

“This is my stop, sweet child. Don’t hang on to tight to your heart, for that alone will break it. Without love our life is a ship without a rudder...like a body without a soul.”

She smiled sweetly at me, and hobbled off of the bus. A few tears spilled on to my cheeks from the woman’s words. This nice stranger was right; I was breaking my own heart. I knew though that it was better than having it broken by someone else.

I sat and dwelled on whether my decision was the right one. I contemplated getting off at every stop we made and turning around. But I couldn’t find it in me to do it. Eventually I drifted off, into a sleep filled with dreams of Edward.

I awoke to the sound of the bus driver hollering.

“Last stop!” I woke up startled, and jumped from my seat quickly. I was surprised at the amount of passengers in the bus, all pushing and shoving to get out of the door.

I remember my dreams, and more tears came to my eyes. I missed him dearly already, and I wanted to turn around and beg for him to pick me. Though I knew that was an impossibility. I walked limply to the front of the bus, passengers bumping into me as if I was merely a speed bump in the road.

Stepping out into the pouring rain, I tried to cover myself with my hands but it did no good. I ran inside the bus station, and up to the desk to find out when the next bus was coming. The line was long, and people were pushing, shoving and talking over one another.

I finally made it to the front of the line.

“When is the next bus due for this route?” I questioned, handing him my ticket.

“You just missed it.” He said, and I turned around to see the bus pulling away from the curb. My heart sank.

“When’s the next one?” I asked, tears threatening to spill.

“About two hours.”

Turning I walked to a bench that was nearby, and threw myself down on it. I watched the faces walk past me. Everything reminded me of the Cullen’s and it made my heart ache worse. I curled myself into a ball and laid my face down onto my knees. I wanted to avoid anyone seeing the tears falling from my eyes.

I sat this way for several moments, until I heard someone sit on the bench next to me. I lifted my head slowly, and there he was.

He was soaking wet. Water drops sliding from his wet hair down his cheeks. If I hadn’t have known better I would have thought they were tears. I felt my heart speed up, and my entire body trembling. The warmth tried to push up my legs, but I forced it away.

Edward? I thought. I wasn’t sure if my mind was playing tricks on me or not.

Reality hit me as his cool hands grabbed my cheeks, and he pressed his lips to mine hard. I felt his fingers entangle into my hair. Unsure of what to do, or what to say. I held still. He kissed me tenderly again and again. With my tears mixing with the water that was running down his face, I began to kiss him back.

“Why did you leave me?” He muttered.

Why are you here Edward? Where is Bella?

“She is at home, in her bed with Jacob.” I didn’t hear any pain in his voice as he said this, and I was surprised, “Exactly where you should be Heaven, at home in your bed with me.”

My sobs became louder as he pulled me to closer to him, he caressed my hair and kissed me tenderly.

“What were you thinking Heaven?”

I couldn’t handle you leaving me Edward. I couldn’t.

He grabbed my face and made me look at him,

“I will never leave you Heaven. Never. I told you that. Why didn‘t you believe me?” He kissed me again.

I collapsed onto him and he stood, picking me up. I didn’t care if people were staring, or whispering or laughing. Nothing else in the world mattered to me at this moment. Not the crowds that were flowing through the bus depot. Not my soaking wet clothes. Not my parents. Not Bella. Nothing.

Edward was the only thing that mattered to me. He was here, with me. He loved me like he said he did. He wasn’t going to leave me. I clung to him like someone would cling to a life reserve when drowning. He was my life, the other half of my soul that I had left behind in Port Angeles. He had pulled my head above the water once again. I closed my eyes, and ignored the shivers that were radiating through my body. I didn’t ever want to let go of him again.

I clung to him like this in the cab he hailed for us, and I didn’t let go when he carried me into the hotel room. My body became accustomed to the chill of my wet clothes against his cool body.

I remember him laying me on the bed gently, and prying my arms from around his neck. I finally opened my eyes slowly, afraid he was going to disappear. He caressed the sides of my face gently.

“Why would you leave us Heaven, why?”

My sobs were loud and my breathing was unsteady.

Why did she meet you in the forest?

“She met me in the forest to tell me she was happy with Jacob, and that she wanted me to be just as happy with you as she is with him. She hugged me, and instead of killing me to let go, I felt relieved. I know who I am meant for Heaven, and that’s you.”

He kissed me softly, and began to peel off my soaking wet clothes. He didn’t make love to me that night; we only pressed our naked body together, and professed our love for one another. I sobbed into his chest for hours. Tears of relief, tears of happiness, sadness. Tears for everything I had gained and lost in my life.

But most of all, I cried for the fact that I was completed, once and for all. I had found where I belonged. Edward was my other half, and I knew that. I came to the realization that he was meant for me, and I was meant for him. No matter what.

That night was nearly twenty years ago. I’m now 38 years old, and I don’t look at day past eighteen. Carlisle swears it’s due to the vampire blood in my heritage. He believes I will never age. So I got what I wanted. I will have Edward for eternity, him and I.

Edward and I attended college together, and for nearly five years I owned my own Psychiatry office. I felt that I had been through so much, that it was what I was destined to do. Help people. Eventually, I was required to relocate before someone noticed that I wasn’t aging. So we began to travel the world together and I’ve seen things I didn’t know existed. I have learned more than I ever thought imaginable

There is no more pain over Bella, but there is the occasional phone call to see how she is doing. I haven’t lost all touch with my parents; I call them once a year or so. Though I still haven’t seen them since that day in New York. Alice is still my best friend, she and Jasper traveled with us for several years. Our friendship only growing stronger along the way. We’ve bought multiple properties, but we always find ourselves back with our family.

I still to this day think of the little old woman on the bus, and how right she had been. You cannot run from love. Carlisle walked me down the isle, and gave me away at our wedding. It’s been nearly 18 years since we’ve been married, and I couldn’t be happier.

I lie in bed every night with the man that I love most, and I think about all that we’ve been through. Now though I think it’s safe to say, that I have what I’ve always wanted. A real family, an amazing husband, and a wonderful life. A place that I belong. So no matter how hard it gets, no matter how bad you want to give up. Don’t. Because dreams do come true. You will always find somewhere you belong.


Without love our life is ... a ship without a rudder ...
like a body without a soul.
~Sholem Aleichem