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Belonging

Summary:
banner Heaven just moved to Eatonville Washington. Another move due to her "problems". She is dying inside as her parents distance themselves from there "freak" daughter. She doesn't know why she is freak, or how she ended up the way she is. Edward is bruised and broken after Bella chose a life with Jacob over him. Can Heaven let the Cullen's know her secret? Will Edward drop his walls and let this sweet stranger into his life? Will she ever find somewhere that she truly belongs?


Notes:


4. Chapter 4

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2527   Review this Chapter

Chapter 4:

“You know Heaven, I sensed it, I knew you were different.” My heart was in my throat, what did she mean? I knew she must have been talking about what she saw in Math class.

I laughed, my anxiety apparent through my tone,
“What do you mean Alice? You barley know me.” I was praying that I had played it off.

She gave a small laugh, “Well I know you aren’t like most girls, your different. For example, you didn’t immediately start swooning over Edward.”

My heart evened out a little bit, and the butterflies in my stomach were gone. I was glad that she didn’t consider the question I asked about her brother to be swooning. My body relaxed, “Well really, he isn’t nothing special.”.

She gave another tight laugh, then started at me with more questions.

“So, you live with both your mom and dad?” I felt a little prick in my heart, thinking about how I hardly lived with either of them

“Yeah, but there not around much.” I looked down at my hands and started playing with my rings. This was another subject I was keen to avoid. I was sure Alice sensed it and quickly asked something else.

“So how are you liking school?” She gave me a half smile.

“It’s alright, everyone is nice enough”

“Yeah, watch out though, there are a few people that aren’t to nice.” I saw her glance towards the stairway, taking this as an opportunity to avoid anymore conversation, I stood up.

“Well I had better head home before it gets dark.”

She smiled again, “Would you like me to give you a ride?”

“No, I think I’ll walk, I need to figure out my way home around here any ways.” I walked to the door, and Alice handed me an umbrella and my still wet clothes.

“Go ahead and wear what you have on home, lord knows my sister has enough clothes to last forever.”

She gave a peculiar laugh. Keeping up small conversation she showed me to the small trail. Turning to me to say goodbye, she gave me a quick hug, and I couldn’t believe how cold her hands were on my back.

When I arrived home, I had that small inkling of hope that my parents may have gotten home while I was gone. Though, as if for the hundredth time, there was no sign of them. I checked the message machine and there was nothing. Tears began to well into my eyes. It hurt so bad that my parents never wanted to be around me. They were all I had in the world, the only ones that even cared a little. I walked out the back door to the patio, the overcast skies reflecting my mood. I knew why they didn’t want to be around me, I was a freak.

I wrapped myself into my cocoon, blocking out the world around me. Closing my eyes and resting my head on my knees I sobbed. I wanted to be understood. I wanted to be normal. I wanted parents who loved me the way I loved them. That’s all it was though, wants. Nothing was ever going to change. I would be alone forever. A hopeless, pathetic freak.

Monday morning rolled around, and I still hadn’t heard a word from my parents. It got easy living alone, because that’s what I did most of the time. I felt as if my parents thought that money, clothing, food, all of my essential necessities and the things I wanted were enough. But no, it wasn’t enough, I needed love. It was like I had no one to love me, and that hurt more than anything.

I took a quick shower, and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt. I went downstairs for some breakfast, and while passing by it, I noticed the light blinking on the answering machine. Finally! I thought. I pressed the play button, and my hopes were shattered. My emotions were quickly replaced with surprise when I heard Alice’s voice flow through the machine.

“Hey Heaven! It’s Alice, I just wanted to see if you want me to give you a ride to school today, it beats catching the bus or walking right? Well call me back sometime before seven because that’s about the time we leave. My number is 555-2457. Talk to you soon!”

I sighed and glanced at the clock, 6:32. She was right, it did beat walking or taking the bus.

I picked up the phone, and dialed Alice’s number.

It rang once and she answered, “Hi Heaven!” Her voice was cheerful.

“Hey Alice, I got your message. If you still want to you can come pick me up.”

“Of course I still want to silly, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Well I was just about to eat..”

She cut me off “We still have some time, we’ll stop by the diner okay?”

“Umm okay.” I didn’t want to be rude, and it would be nice to have some real food and not just cereal.

“Okay see you in a minute.”

Before I had a chance to respond I heard a click on the other end of the line. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my jacket, and backpack. It soon dawned on me that Alice didn’t know where I lived. As I was starting to head back to the phone to call her I heard a honk from outside. It startled me. I couldn't believe how fast she had gotten there, or how she even knew where I lived

Locking my door behind me once I was out of the house, I turned around, I was shocked to see that Alice wasn’t driving but riding in the passenger seat in a shiny silver Volvo. I tried to see past her to see who was driving, but couldn’t make out who it was from the distance I stood. Approaching the car slowly, I realized who it was. It was Alice’s brother Edward. I looked at him with disgust and dismay, mirroring the look on his face.

Alice quickly jumped out of the car to lift the seat and let me in the back. Before I got in, I turned to her,
“How did you guys know where I live?”

I knew my expression was puzzled. Alice gave a nervous laugh,
“You walk home from school, and we live over here remember? I drove past you the other day when you were walking to your door.” She smile innocently.

I gave her an unintelligible “Oh,” and turned around and got into the car. Edward looked ahead and didn’t even shift his eyes to look at me. I could feel the anger and hatred radiating off of him. As soon as I was sitting down and settled in the back seat, I threw my shield over myself. I don’t know what it was about him, but my instincts told me not to trust him, and to beware. I just hoped and prayed Alice wouldn’t try to touch me when I wasn’t looking.

We pulled away from the curb and the tires squealed. I felt the car accelerate quickly. Within seconds I estimated we were going at least eighty miles an hour. I didn’t fear for my life, for I knew I would not get hurt. But I feared for Alice, and the people that could be hurt should we collide with them. I was about to say something to him about it, when I realized we were slowing down and stopping in front of the diner.


Alice hopped out quickly and pulled the seat forward for me to get out. I dropped my guard, and stepped out of the car. Glad to get away from her despicable brother. Alice put her hands on her hips and looked at him,

“Well aren’t you coming?”

He gave her a disgusted glance. “I told you I’m not hungry, I’ll just wait here. Make it quick.” He shot me a dirty look.

I turned on my heel and walked into the diner, with or without Alice I was going to get something to eat, and I was not going to be treated like that by anyone.

I heard Alice hurry up to my side, and she began apologizing, “I’m sorry for the way my brother is acting, this is his first day back at public school. He’s just nervous, and impatient.”

I stopped and turned to stare at her, “I don’t care how impatient or nervous he is, he can stop treating you and everyone else like that. He is not better than everyone, so he needs to stop acting like it.”

I could feel the rage pouring out through me, through my voice. I immediately regretted it, and hoped Alice, my only friend, was not offended. I didn’t mean to bad mouth her brother, but he wasn’t the only one with problems and shouldn’t be taking it out on everyone.

She gave me a sad smile, “ There’s more to it than that Heaven. My brother is a very damaged person right now, I can’t go into detail, but it’s worse than you think.”

I returned her sad smile, and mumble “Sorry,” and continued on my way into the diner and found a place to sit.

I ordered a plate of pancakes and eggs, and a soda. I glanced up at Alice and saw her still looking through the menu. She set it down, and the waiter looked at her waiting for her order.

“Nothing really looks very good to me right now. I’ll just have a glass of water.”

I knew it, she was mad at me for what I said. I figured I would mess up the little friendship I had. It was me with the anger problems. Alice though contradicted my thoughts, before I even had a chance to ask her why she suggested breakfast and wasn’t eating. She began to rattle on about her family, about her parents and her brothers and sisters. Telling me about how her father was a doctor. Her talking never seemed to end, and I listened with open ears. Glad to be able to listen and not have to talk for once.

I enjoyed the last of my breakfast, and looked at the clock. It was already 7:30, we were going to be late for school. I was digging through my bag, when Alice pulled a twenty out of her pocket and threw it down on the table. I started to object, but she grabbed my hand, again hers was icy cold.

“Let’s go! Were late already, on Edwards first day.” She gave a laugh and we ran out of the diner.

She opened the passenger door to the car, and I saw Edward reading a book, he glanced up at us. This time, I didn’t see the usual hatred in his eyes. I saw pain, and anguish, like something was hurting deep down inside. Still as soon as I got into the backseat, I covered myself again. I still felt threatened. I huddled up in the corner of the backseat, as far away from Edward as I could get. I glanced at the book he threw in the back once we had gotten into the car, it was “Wuthering Heights”. I couldn’t help but wonder why someone like him would read something like that.

The rest of the ride to school was silent and again very fast. When we got there Alice let me out of the backseat, she turned to Edward to point out where the front office was so he could get his schedule. Then she grabbed me by my hand and we ran to math. Laughing when we reached the door, we both threw on a serious face and stepped in. Everyone was already consumed in the lesson, and thankfully didn’t pay much attention to us. Mrs.Wicker looked up from her desk to us, and motioned her head for us to take our seats.

About halfway through the class, I glanced up at Alice, who seemed to be hardly concentrating on her work.

“Where did you go last week Alice? I didn’t even see you at lunch on my first day.” I whispered.

I had forgotten all about this up until now. I was beginning to hope that we had more classes with one another. I had really taken to Alice, in the short time I’ve known her.

“Oh, I went home sick, I wasn’t feeling well after second period so I went to the nurses office. I had a pretty bad flu for a couple days.” She whispered back, but she didn’t look me in the eyes when she was telling me this.

For some reason I felt she was lying to me. The rest of math went by smoothly, I finished my assignment and turned it in, and wrote down my homework assignment. Art went the same, I had started a self portrait which was turning out worse than I thought it would. Science too, was boring, not my forte’. Finally English, my third period of the day. This was the one class I thoroughly enjoyed. I immensely enjoyed reading and writing, and I was rather good at it.

I took my seat in the back row in English, and waited for the bell to ring and class to start. No longer than five minutes after I was seated, Edward, walked into the room. Without thinking the warmth traveled up my legs and I regressed down into my seat. I looked to my right, and came to realize that it was the only vacant seat in the room. I immediately wanted mentally shove the desk as far away from me as possible. I fought back the urge, and watched him hand his schedule to Mr. Cox. I saw Mr. Cox point in my direction to the seat next to me.

When Edward glanced my way, we made eye contact for a brief second. His eye’s looked empty, completely void of emotion. He took the book from Mr. Cox and walked with his head held high to the seat next to mind. I could tell he was avoiding my scrutinizing gaze. The girls in class were whispering, no doubt fawning over him. I couldn’t help but admit that he was gorgeous, one of the most handsome men I had ever seen in my life. But all that beauty didn’t change who he was, or how I felt about him. As soon as the girls in this school got a taste of his attitude, he would lose any appeal to them.

All through class, and the lecture on grammar, I couldn’t help but steal glances at Edward. I wanted to decipher him, and figure out what the cause of all his anger was. I wanted to know what he was feeling inside and why. I wanted to know what the damage Alice was referring to was. The fact that he stayed so blank and void nearly drove me insane. Almost as insane as when he looked at me with pure hatred. As soon as the bell rang, he grabbed his books and bolted out of the classroom. I got up from my seat slowly, feeling my shell dissipate around me. There was something about him that was making my body send off alarms, and I was dying to find out what it was.