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Belonging

Summary:
banner Heaven just moved to Eatonville Washington. Another move due to her "problems". She is dying inside as her parents distance themselves from there "freak" daughter. She doesn't know why she is freak, or how she ended up the way she is. Edward is bruised and broken after Bella chose a life with Jacob over him. Can Heaven let the Cullen's know her secret? Will Edward drop his walls and let this sweet stranger into his life? Will she ever find somewhere that she truly belongs?


Notes:


7. Chapter 7

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2841   Review this Chapter

My eyes sprang open and the room was dark. I looked at the clock, 2:55 in the morning. I heard a T.V playing upstairs, and wondered if Alice was back from hunting yet, or if it was someone else.

Suddenly, I felt my guard spread up over me. I gave a short gasp and sat up. Edward was sitting at the opposite end of the couch, looking over at me. Immediately I got angry,

“What are you doing? Here to torment the freak some more?” I demanded, his lips turned into a smirk.

“I’m sitting on my couch, if that’s alright with you.” He gave me a half smile, and I wasn’t sure if it was the dark or not, but I thought it was suppose to be a nice gesture.

He continued, “I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have said the things I did.”

He’d caught me off guard, regardless of what Alice said, that was the last thing I expected to hear from him. I didn’t know what to say,

“Yeah well…” I muttered

“Well,” He said, “You were right too; it’s hard to be around you. You do remind me a little of her, only for the fact that I can’t always hear your thoughts.”

I was stunned, “So because I remind you of this girl, you have to hate me and treat me so badly? You don’t even know me! Really, don’t you consider how it would make me feel? I don’t find that very fair at all.” He looked down at his hands and stayed quiet for a moment. When he looked up at me, I saw pain in his eyes.

It almost made me want to cry to see someone so unbelievably unhappy and in so much mental anguish.

“Do you think I like feeling like this Heaven? That I want to be this way? I’m the freak. If I was a normal human being, Bella would still be in my arms. Not his. It kills me to think about it, and when you’re around, and I can’t hear anything from you, it comes back so much worse.”

I could hear the pain in his voice. At that second, even though how he had made me feel, I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around him, and hug and kiss him like a child. I wanted him to know everything would be alright.

“Edward, if you don’t let go, you will live like this for the rest of eternity. If Bella doesn’t want you, then that’s her fault, not yours! You have the options to wallow away in misery for the rest of your existence, or to at least attempt to be happy and make the best of what you have.” I took a deep breath,

“Alice told me that the whole family wants their Edward back.” I said. He rested his head in his hands.

“You’re not the only one who has problems Edward.” He looked up at me and snorted

“What problems do you have huh?” I could hear the anger coming back into his voice,

“What problems do I have? My parent’s can’t stand me, they don’t love me. I’m merely a burden to them. Ever since they discovered I was different they haven’t wanted anything to do with me. I was left with nannies as a child. When someone realized I was a freak, they would come rushing home to move me somewhere else, then leave again. I would have loved to have had some sort of love, even if it was only temporary, like yours. But I never had that. I’ve never had anyone to love me. I’ve never even had some where I belonged. So you should be happy that you have such a wonderful family that loves you, and stop dwelling on the fact that some girl left you.”

The anger in his eyes were once again replaced with pain, “I’m sorry, Heaven. I didn’t realize…” He trailed off.

“You didn’t realize that when you told me I didn’t belong, that you were pushing me away from the only person that has ever shown me love or friendship. Alice is my best friend Edward. I feel normal here, real, alive. Whatever you want to call it. I’m not a freak in this home, I’m me. I’m sorry if that’s hard for you to understand.” He was silent again, looking down at his hands.

I sat up waiting for him to say something, and after a few minutes passed, I laid my head back down on the pillow. I heard Edward’s weight shift, and before long I was sound asleep again.

When I awoke in the morning, I looked up and saw Alice was sitting near my feet smiling.

“Ready to go shopping?” She asked.

I yawned and stretched my arms,

“Yeah, I need to go home to shower and change though.”

“Alright, I’ll take you. Let me go get Edward, I convinced him to join us.” As she was walking away she turned her head back to me and smiled, “I told you he would apologize.” I laughed and watched her run upstairs.

I threw the blankets off and stood up and stretched again. My stomach began to growl, I was starving. I felt the warmth run up from my toes to my head, and new Edward was getting ready to descend the stairs. I looked over and saw him trailing behind Alice. He looked better than usual, and wasn’t shooting daggers at me with his eyes this time.

He gave me a half hearted smile, “Good morning.” I returned his smile, though still nervous about an entire day of shopping with him. “Morning.” I said.

I followed them to the Volvo outside, and we all got in. Alice had me ride in the front with Edward, which I was uneasy about. She said that I needed to be able to get out and open my garage for them. When we pulled out of the driveway the sun was shining. I began to wonder why they couldn’t be seen in the sun.

“Alice, why is that you can’t be seen in the sun?” She looked at me and flashed me a smile,

“Watch.” She stuck her arm out the window and I stared in awe. Her entire arm was twinkling, like it was covered in diamonds.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool.” She laughed at my expression.

The rest of the drive to my house was short and silent. We pulled into my driveway, and I hopped out and opened the garage. Once in the garage both Alice and Edward got out of the car. I unlocked the door to the kitchen and stepped in. The first thing I noticed was a piece of paper sitting on the kitchen table. I walked over and picked it up,

Heaven,
Your father and I returned for the day, but you did not come home. I regret that we did not get a chance to see you, but we have commitments that we have to tend to and do not have time to sit around and await your return. I’m sure everything is alright, you’re a big girl. Your father is heading for Florida, and I for New York. We will be calling you shortly and leaving numbers you can reach us at. Be careful. I hope you do not get yourself caught up once again, and require another move. There is more money in the envelope that is with this letter. You also have your credit card. I hope all is well for you, and again I’m sorry we could not wait for you to come home.

With Love,
Mother and Father


I crumpled up the letter in my hand and threw it at the wall. I collapsed down into a chair, and began to sob. Alice sat next to me, not attempting to touch me this time.

“They came home while I was gone, and had commitments that couldn’t wait.” I sobbed into my arms. “They couldn’t even stay a night! I HATE THEM!” I screamed

“It’s okay Heaven, you have us now, don’t cry. We will always be there for you. I promise.” Alice said in a soft tone.

“This is the first time they’ve been back since we’ve came here. They left three day’s after we got settled into this house. They couldn’t even wait a night.” I stood up and grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter, wiped my eyes and blew my nose. When I looked up I noticed Edward had picked the up letter and flattened it out to read it. He looked up from it and saw me staring at him,

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

I cut him off, “Don’t worry about, I don’t care.” I walked over to the table and opened the envelope. I pulled it out and counted it, a thousand dollars.

“Well she left me a thousand, and reminded me of my credit card, so I’m sure it will be another month before they are back.” New tears threatened to spill over but I held them back.

I walked over to the fridge and opened it; it felt odd walking around with my guard up constantly. My body seemed unable to dissipate it with Edward so close to me. I preferred he stay out of my head anyways.

After grabbing an apple I turned to Alice and Edward, “I’ll show you guys into the living room, you can watch some T.V or something while I get ready to go.” They followed me through the dining, and before we were about to enter the living room, I heard Alice gasp. I turned around quickly and saw Edward already standing next to her looking at a painting on my wall.

“Edward, it can’t be.” Alice looked startled.

“It is. This is almost a duplicate of the painting in Carlisle office.” He was studying the painting very closely.

“What is so great about that painting?” I questioned, Edward turned to me quickly.

“Where did you get that?” He asked sharply.

“It was my great-great grandfathers. It’s the only heirloom that has been carried down from him.”

“Do you know his name?” He asked quickly,

“No, nobody does. This was all that was left to his son, who was an orphan, his mother died at birth. I don’t even think my parent’s know his name. I guess they kept this because it’s worth a lot of money.”

“Do you know who these people are in this painting?” Alice looked at me wide eyed

“No I don’t, but what’s this big deal?” I responded getting a little irritated at all the questions and no answers.

“This is the Volturi, that’s Aro and Cauis. They are, what you could say similar to the law for vampires. Like a royal family. I cannot understand how your family has a painting of them. I need Carlisle to see this. If that’s alright with you of course.” Edward was talking fast, and looking as if he was talking more to himself than to me.

“Sure, but I’d rather he come here to see it. It’s really old and I don’t want to drag it around and ruin it.” I replied.

“That’s fine. He’s working a long shift at the hospital tonight, so I’ll bring him by tomorrow after school.”

“Well you guy’s can have a seat, make yourself at home.” I motioned towards the living room, “The remote for the T.V is on the end table. I’m going to go get ready.”

I went upstairs to my room, and I felt relieved as my shield slowly dissipated around me. I took a few bites of the apple, and threw it in the garbage. The letter from my mother destroyed my appetite.

After I showered, I got some blue jeans and a white thin strapped shirt from the closet and got dressed. I wore my hair down, and put a couple spirals in the ends with my fingers. When I headed downstairs I felt my feet getting warm, my body once again putting off signals because of Edward.

I knew I’d have to be careful in the stores when we were shopping. When I reached the living room, Alice and Edward were in a deep conversation about the painting. I cleared my throat, and they both turned to me.

“Ready to go?” I asked them, Alice smiled and stood up from the couch. I made eye contact with Edward, and could have sworn I saw something different in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure what.

“Come on Edward, let’s go.” Alice said and headed for the door to the garage. He stood up, and his eyes still didn’t leave mine. I looked away from him, and followed Alice.

Once we were in the car Alice informed we were going to Seattle, which was about an hour and a half away.

“More like half an hour with Edward driving.” I stated. Alice laughed, and I saw Edward smile in the mirror. A genuine smile, one that I had never seen.

“Let’s go to downtown Seattle Edward. Shopping is better there.” We listened to music on the way, and Alice and I were laughing the whole time.

Though I had gotten a smile, there was no laughing coming from Edward. He was back to his doom and gloom look.

The closer we got to Seattle the more clouds covered us. It started sprinkling when we were on the outskirts. By the time we reached the downtown shopping, it was beginning to rain heavily.

“Let’s go to Pacific Place and catch a movie. The rain should stop by then.” Alice assured us.

It had taken us exactly forty five minutes to reach pacific place, and I smiled at Edward when I told him, “See Edward, forty five minutes. I wasn’t too far off!”

He didn’t return the smile and continued to look pained.

Without thinking I gave him a small push, his shoulder solid as stone, he didn‘t even budge. “Cheer up, let’s have fun.”

He looked at me in surprise, and I blushed. I quickly caught up to Alice who was in front of us getting tickets. She turned to me and held them up, “Were watching a horror flick.”

Alice and Edward waited in line with me to get my soda and popcorn, and before long we were seated in the upstairs theater waiting for the movie to start. Alice was between Edward and I, and about halfway through the movie, I let my guard dissipate.

It took far more concentration than usual to do this, and it was harder and harder to push it away from me. I could still feel the sensation around my feet, when I felt eyes on me. I looked over and it was Edward. We made eye contact for a moment, and I directed my thoughts towards him,

Will you smile if I let you in my head Edward? His eyes widened a little.
Alice wants you to have fun, and if this is what it takes, then I will deal with it. I don’t want to be a reminder for you. It’s hard for me though.

He raised his eyebrows in question. I knew what he was asking.

My body puts off signals when you’re around. My subconscious doesn’t want you in my head, so it’s hard to push my guard away. It takes effort, and control. I still can’t push it off of my feet. It’s never been like this before.

He smirked and looked back to the screen. I looked at Alice and I saw her throwing sideway glances at me, and a small smile playing on her lips.

After the lights came on, Alice leaned over and whispered to me, “Britney Spears drives him crazy, that’s what I do when I don’t want him in my head.” I laughed loudly and I looked at Edward and saw him roll his eyes.

We went on to the shops, going by Banana Republic and Gap. I spent nearly all of the thousand my mother left for me, getting some clothes and new purse. We stopped by the Cascadia Restaurant and they waited patiently for me to eat.

I thought of, what seemed like, nearly every song I’d ever heard, and was running out of songs to think of by the time we were leaving. Edward’s mood improved and every time he looked at me and heard each new song I was singing in my head, he laughed.

When we arrived back to the Volvo, my legs were aching and I was getting drowsy. When I was seated in the back seat, and I looked at the clock, it was already 10:45.

“So Alice, are you going to school tomorrow.” I questioned. She turned her head to look at me,

“From the forecast I’m getting it looks like it. Do you want to stay at my house again?” She asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind… I don’t really want to stay by myself tonight.” The thought of returning to an empty house didn’t seem to appealing.

“You can stay with us whenever you want Heaven.” Edward said, Alice looked at him with a shocked expression. He glanced back at me in the rearview mirror, I smiled.

Get out of my head Edward Cullen. God this is so weird!

He gave a small chuckle. I yawned and sprawled out in the backseat and before long, listening to the quiet hum of the engine, I was asleep.