Bella and Edward had a beautiful wedding and very passionate honeymoon. Now, it seems, they are paying for all their happiness. Bella is pregnant with Edwards child but he doesn't want it. This is Bella's POV of her pregnancy. We know what Jacob saw but what did we miss behind Bella and Edward's closed door? Rated adult for later chapters.
Hello all you wonderful readers. As the summery says, this is the pregnancy from BPOV. Some of it is sad, some is a little kinky, but mostly, it's revealing. I usually don't post unless I have the entire story mapped out but this time, I'm posting as I write. Hopefully you like it. Also, please review and help with ideas. Finally, I do not own the Saga or it's characters, those honours belong to SM.
3. Chapter 3
Rating 4.5/5 Word Count 3024 Review this Chapter
The feeling of cold hands softly brushing across my forehead and my baby nudging me brought me from my dream, a dream that I couldn’t understand. Edward and Rosalie were snarling at each other. I could hear yelling from other voices, branches cracking and jaws snapping and felt many cold hands touching me. The dream was confusing and too sporadic to try and decipher. And yet, somehow, it felt real and it lingered in my mind. It was not a pleasant dream and I welcomed the morning.
I slowly opened my eyes, meeting Edwards gaze. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t smile. He just looked at me with a hurt and confused expression. After a full minute, he removed his hand from my cheek, lowering his eyes and rolling away from me onto his back.
“How are you feeling?” he asked in a soft tone while staring up at the ceiling. It almost sounded like he really didn’t care, but that didn’t make sense either. Combined with his expression, his tone and my dream, an uneasy feeling started to turn in my stomach. I had to reassure myself that I was imagining things, Edward always cared about how I was, what I was doing and what I was thinking.
After pushing those thoughts aside, I immediately realized that I was perfect. My headache and nausea were gone, my eyes didn’t hurt and sounds didn’t bother me.
“I’m great actually” I said with a happily surprised tone. I rolled over to him, resting my head on his chest, but that was it. He didn’t kiss the top of my head like normal, nor did he wrap his arm around me. Something was definitely off.
“Good,” he said, in a flat tone, “we should go then. Carlisle is waiting for us.” Edward rolled out from under me and started to get up off the bed. Again, I saw hurt in his eyes.
“Edward, what’s wrong?” He froze on the edge of the bed, his back facing me. He just sat there staring at the floor. I sat up and waited for him to turn around and look at me. But he didn’t. He just sat there and slowly started shaking his head.
“Edward?” I asked again as I slowly moved beside him on the bed and gently touched his right shoulder. He slid away from my touch. A monstrous shock ran through me. Edward has NEVER slid away from my touch. My hand fell to my lap. My eyes were glued on Edward as he continued to stare at the ground.
“Rosalie?” he asked, his voice breaking with sadness, but still managing to throw out a hint of anger. He slowly turned his bowed head to face me. His eyes were completely black and his face was contorted in despair. “You called her for protection from me, your husband.” It wasn’t a question.
I didn’t know what to say. I just stared back at him trying to think of how I could explain this. He already knew that I called Rose for help, but he was wrong. It wasn’t for protection. I called her for support.
“Edward, I…” I stopped to swallow the large lump that was stuck in my throat. This was not going to be easy to say. “I didn’t call Rosalie for protection from you Edward. I called her for help. For support.” He just looked at me with the same look of despair he was already wearing. He didn’t move an inch, and he certainly didn’t say anything. He was waiting for me to explain.
I took a deep breath and shamefully removed my eyes from Edwards to look at the floor. I couldn’t look at him when I told him this. “I called Rosalie because I knew she would stand up to you, she would fight you on this.”
“On keeping the baby?” he finally asked after a long pause. A tear started to tumble down my left cheek. I don’t know if it was the fighting between Edward and I or the fact that my hormones were all over the place, but it seemed like all I was capable of doing lately was crying. I still couldn’t look at Edward. All I was able to do was nod as another tear slowly slid down.
I felt him gently wipe my tears away before he put his finger under my chin to pull my face up. His eyes were no longer filled with blackness but they still held a look of torture. “I’m sorry” he said, “I’m sorry for making you think that you need protection from me, that you needed a secret weapon.” We just sat there looking at each other. It was obvious that we had very different opinions on our current situation, but it was also obvious how much love and devotion we had for each other. Edward brushed my final tear away and slowly leaned in and placed a tender kiss on my lips. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me close.
“I love you, Bella, you know that” he whispered into my hair, “but I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe. Neither you nor Rosalie can stop that”.
“I know,” I said as I pulled back to look into his beautifully sweet eyes, “but you need to trust me, ok? Our child is not going to kill me. I love you too much to leave you, and our child knows that. Why do you think the baby dances when you touch me?” I put my hands on either side of his face and slowly and gently kissed him again. His lips felt so perfect against mine. He was not rough or timid. Our kiss was slow but filled with passion. I wrapped my arms around Edward’s neck as I pulled myself closer to him. Immediately, a wave of desire was crashing down on me out of the blue. I positioned myself on Edward’s lap and started kissing him with more fervor. I didn’t know where this was coming from, but I clearly knew where I wanted it to go. Too bad that Edward didn’t seem to be on the same page.
Edward gently pulled back and when we eventually parted lips, I let out a low whimper in protest. My body was craving Edward; it was a very strange sensation. Our small, innocent kiss had completely turned me on. I had to shake those thoughts I was having, some very good thoughts, out of my head and focus on what had just transpired between Edward and I.
We had finally come to an understanding. Neither of us had ‘won’ our argument per say, but we knew where the other person stood. It was a compromise of sorts. I was not going to give up my baby, and Edward was going to do whatever he could to make sure that I was safe, no matter what. I grabbed Edwards hand in mine, inadvertently sending another shock of desire through me, paused to catch my breath and pulled him off the bed. “I do believe you said that Carlisle was waiting for us?”
We walked slowly to Carlisle’s office, our hands and fingers still entwined, feeling electricity and yearning that I hadn’t felt since our first night together on our honeymoon. I had to try very hard to control myself. I gently knocked on Carlisle’s door. “Come in” he said with a loving but professional tone. I slowly turned to doorknob and peeked my head in the door. “Edward said you wanted to see me?”
“Yes Bella, come in. How are you feeling?” Before I could answer, I noticed Rosalie sitting on the couch against the wall. “I’m fine” I answered as I shot Rosalie a questioning look.
“You asked for my help so I’m here to help” she said in a smug tone and she got off the couch and made her way towards me. Right as she got to the door, Edward came in behind me and pulled me out the door and stood protectively in front of me. Once again, Rosalie and Edward were growling at each other and my dream popped back into my mind. Was it even really a dream?
“Now children, I’ve already had to separate you and have already spoken to each of you about this,” Carlisle said in his best ‘parental’ tone. “Edward, you know that Bella called Rosalie for help and wants her here. So until Bella says otherwise, Rosalie will be helping her out with the pregnancy. And Rosalie, Edward is Bella’s husband. You have to accept the fact that this is something that they are going through together. And knowing Edward, he is never going to leave her side for one second, which I personally think is perfectly reasonable.”
Both Edward and Rose eased out of their stances and stopped their growls. Edward pulled me close to his side as he stepped around Rose to walk me to the couch. Rosalie whipped around and sat in the chair in front of Carlisle’s desk. Clearly she wanted to keep a close eye on everything.
Carlisle was shaking his head as he made his way back to his desk and sat on the edge in front of Edward and me. I looked up and saw Edward rolling his eyes. Clearly Carlisle was still mentally scolding his children for their behavior.
“Now Bella, we need to talk about your…condition” he said, looking at both Edward and I in a concerned fashion. “Before we do tests to find out more about the…fetus, I want to find out what happened yesterday. Edward told me that it seems like you had a severe migraine, but much worse. Sounds and lights were too much, you felt sick and dizzy. Is that right?”
The way Carlisle was saying this made it sound like I just had a headache.
“Well sorta”, I replied, not really knowing how to explain the feeling of my head being ready to explode. “It was a lot worse than that though. I had so much pressure in my head. I know it sounds stupid but it felt like it was going to burst...” That explanation still didn’t seem enough. I didn’t want to bring it up with Edward still holding me against him, but I needed them both to understand how bad the pain was.
“Even when Edward was whispering to me, it sounded like he was screaming directly into my ear.” I could feel Edward cringe at my side. I put my left hand against his chest to try and reassure him that it was ok. How would I have ever been able to tell him that his voice was hurting me?
Edward gently kissed the top of my head, whispering a painful apology into my hair. “I’m sorry love.”
“It’s ok Edward, you didn’t know.”
As I turned back around, I noticed that Carlisle was writing things down, which surprised me because as a vampire, he had perfect memory.
“Bella”, Carlisle continued, “what happened right before the pain? How did you feel?”
“I felt fine. Edward and I were just leaving the plane and it came out of nowhere.”
Carlisle quickly scribbled some more notes down. I looked up at Edward questioning him with my eyes. Edward just nodded and explained.
“Carlisle just wants to keep a record of your progress. He hasn’t been able to find any documentation on a situation like ours so we’re just making sure that we don’t miss or overlook anything.”
“We’re just being extra cautious” Carlisle added with a smile as Rosalie let out a doubtful grunt. Carlisle shot her a look and continued with his questioning. “I notice that the headaches aren’t the only change. You seem to be growing quite quickly.”
“Very quickly,” Edward answered with a worried look on his face, “and with the headache coming on so fast, I’m afraid of what else will come as this thing grows”.
Edward was clearly trying to make a point in front of Rosalie and myself. We were venturing into unfamiliar territory and I was already starting to ‘suffer the consequences’ as he would put it. I simply let out a sign and squeezed his hand tightly in mine before asking Carlisle to proceed.
After endless questioning, followed by testing and uncomfortable poking and prodding from Carlisle, not to mention the embarrassment of all this happening with Carlisle, Rosalie and Edward in the room, he still didn’t exactly know what my baby was and what to expect from my pregnancy. He did have a theory, however.
Since I was growing so quickly and was experiencing extremes in mood swings, emotions and “headaches” as they affectionately became known, Carlisle thought that I would experience the normal outcomes of pregnancy, only much more intensely. That means extremes in fatigue, mood swings, back pains, bathroom runs, sickness and much more. I was certainly not looking forward to the possibility of intense hemorrhoids or stretch marks.
One thing that did excite and confuse me though, was one outcome that I wasn’t sure if I should share with Carlisle; intense and extreme lust. Throughout Carlisle’s exam, there were multiple times when I thought I was going to lose all control. Not because of Carlisle, of course, but because of Edward.
Edward was holding my hand the entire time and the feel of his soft skin against mine, the slow circles he was making on the back of my hand, and the feel of his cold lips on my forehead were sending a stream of desire through my veins. I don’t know what it was, Edward touches me all the time, but today, his touch made my knees weak. And the most embarrassing part was that this all happened in the presence of three very attune vampires. I was just grateful that no one mentioned anything. Especially Rosalie!
As soon as we left Carlisle’s room, Edward grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Are you ok?” he asked, with a look of concern and humor on his face. He must have realized what was happening in Carlisle’s office. No doubt he knew how my body reacted when he touched me, not to mention his heightened sense of smell. I was sure that he smelt my desire.
As soon as Edward squeezed my hand, my heart started to race and my breathing became ragged. I pulled him quickly into our bedroom, pushing him onto the bed and resting my back against the now closed door.
I just looked at him. I wanted him so bad that my body was physically aching for him. I slowly walked over to Edward, who was sitting on the edge of the bed just staring at me. On my way, I managed to take off my old, dirty t-shirt that I was still wearing from yesterday and shrug out of my sweatpants. I was standing in front of Edward in my grey cotton bra and underwear. I didn’t know where this gusto came from but I didn’t care. I was standing before Edward, just praying that he would touch me, kiss me, take ever part of me that instant.
I placed both my hands on Edward’s face, sending the most intense wave of yearning through me thus far. It made my eyes fall shut, my knees tremble and a low moan escape from my lips. All this was just from touching his perfect face.
“Bella, are you ok?” Edward asked with sincere concern in his voice. With my eyes still closed, I nodded my head and pulled Edward face forward so that I could feel his breath on my lips. I continued to breathe hard as I started to attack Edward’s mouth. I kissed him with a ferocity that I didn’t know I had in me. I pressed my lips hard against his, brushing my tongue against his bottom lip. His taste was even more intoxicating than normal.
I pressed my body even tighter into his as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down onto the bed on top of him. I could feel his hands snaking up my back. His fingers along my spine made me gasp and shriek in pleasure. I removed my lips from his as he continued to kiss my neck.
“I need you Edward” I gasped out as he undid the clasp of my bra, “I need you right now”.
Abruptly, I heard Edward growl against my neck as lifted me off his body and placed me on the opposite side of the bed from him. After a few puzzling seconds, I looked over at his with confusion. He was still lying where he was before, breathing hard and scrunching his eyes shut.
“Edward why did you stop?” I asked as I started to crawl back towards him. I needed more Edward. He put up his hand to stop me and without opening his eyes, he told me to feel my stomach.
Kneeling a mere foot away from Edward, I reached down and placed my hands on either side of my bump. Immediately I felt the baby dancing away under my touch. Of course the baby was moving, it always moved when Edward was touching my body.
I just looked at Edward, realizing that he stopped because of the movement in me, because he felt our baby. He wouldn’t, or better yet, couldn’t touch me the way I wanted him to, not with the reminder of the consequences of our actions moving inside me.
Rejected and hurt, I got up out of bed and went into the bathroom without saying a word. I shut the door behind me, removed the remainder of my clothes, stepped into the shower and started to cry.