Bella and Edward had a beautiful wedding and very passionate honeymoon. Now, it seems, they are paying for all their happiness. Bella is pregnant with Edwards child but he doesn't want it. This is Bella's POV of her pregnancy. We know what Jacob saw but what did we miss behind Bella and Edward's closed door? Rated adult for later chapters.
Hello all you wonderful readers. As the summery says, this is the pregnancy from BPOV. Some of it is sad, some is a little kinky, but mostly, it's revealing. I usually don't post unless I have the entire story mapped out but this time, I'm posting as I write. Hopefully you like it. Also, please review and help with ideas. Finally, I do not own the Saga or it's characters, those honours belong to SM.
4. Chapter 4
Rating 5/5 Word Count 3746 Review this Chapter
I just stood there in the shower, letting my tears disappear into the falling stream of water. I didn’t know what else to do. I felt so rejected and alone, and to state the obvious, completely unsatisfied. My body was yearning for Edward and it felt like he just threw me away, although I knew it wasn’t like that at all. Edward loved me, and from the size of the bulge I felt in his pants when I was pressed on top of him, he obviously wanted me too.
I just couldn’t get a grip on what was going on with me. My mind continued to scrutinize the past day and a half. The airplane ride where Edward and I had our first real talk about the situation, the migraine attack that sent me falling to the ground, the fight between Edward and Rosalie, which I now admitted wasn’t a dream and finally the talk and examination from Carlisle.
I had to stop with that last thought; it was the most unsettling part of the past two days thus far. My hands and eyes ran down to my stomach as the shower water continued to gently fall over my body. My baby was still for once, a result of Edward’s absence.
I thought about the exam Carlisle had given me this morning. Although it was innocent, albeit embarrassing having this done by your father-in-law with Rosalie in the room also, the thought of it still made me nervous.
I was lying on Carlisle’s couch, resting my head on Edward’s lap while he ran his fingers through my hair, brushing it away from my face. Carlisle had somehow managed to remove an ultrasound machine from the hospital and rolled it into his office. “Bella, can I get you to lift your shirt up please?” Carlisle asked as he pressed a bunch of buttons and the computer came to life. I looked straight into Edward’s eyes as I pulled the t-shirt I had been wearing on the plane over my stomach, exposing my baby bump. This had been the first time that Edward saw my exposed stomach since we left the island. I saw anguish flash in his eyes as Rosalie gasped beside me. “No offense Bella, but are you sure it’s Edwards? I mean you’re huge for only being two and a half weeks along.”
Edward let out a low growl in Rose’s direction as I answered her insult. “Yes Rosalie, I’m sure that the baby is Edwards.”
“Ok Bella, this might be a little cold, but I need you to try and be still while I try and get a clear reading”, Carlisle said as he rolled the top of my sweatpants down, exposing even more of my lower stomach and tucked the edge of a thin, white towel into my waist band, letting the rest drape over my lap. He squirted some gel on my exposed belly and I immediately raised my hands over my head to grab Edwards. I held his tight as we just continued to look at each other. And although I was still excited and happy about being pregnant, I was scared out of my mind at that moment. This was really happening.
Carlisle sat down beside me in his chair and put what looked like a plastic paint brush with no bristles on it into the gel that was on my stomach. He started moving it around, slowly, spreading the gew over my lower stomach.
Edward’s eyes never left mine as Carlisle continued to move the handle around my stomach, pausing momentarily in different spots before continuing to a new location. Instantly, Edwards eyes left mine, flashing towards his father. “What’s wrong?” he demanded as I followed his gaze. I saw Carlisle’s puzzled look before resting my eyes on the computer screen. I didn’t know what to expect, but I wasn’t expecting to see nothing.
“Well, it seems like I can’t get a reading” he said, still looking puzzled at the screen. “What do you mean you can’t get a reading?” I asked. Surely he had to be doing something wrong. Both Edward and I felt the baby moving in me, there was something there. The huge bump that was once my waistline proved it.
“It seems like whatever is protecting the fetus is too dense for the ultrasound” he said as he removed the wand from my stomach and lifted the towel up to wipe away the gel. I looked up at Edward with worry in both of our eyes as Rosalie got up from her chair and knelt beside me. “Don’t worry Bella” she whispered, “it’ll be alright”.
A knocking on the bathroom door jarred me from the memory. “Bella?” It was Edward. My face fell even lower as my eyes closed with another memory and emotion; rejection. “Are you ok in there?” He asked. There was true sincerity in his voice and my heart couldn’t help but skip a little beat. “Ya” was all I was able to respond with.
“Can we talk about what happened this morning? The ultrasound and…just now?” He asked as he turned the bathroom doorknob. Apparently I had locked it when I came in because the door didn’t open. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted him in here with me, holding me, looking into my eyes and telling me how much he loved me. But I knew that it wouldn’t end there. He would start into his self loathing and his eyes would fill with guilt and pain. I wasn’t ready to face his pain, I was still dealing with my own.
“Maybe later” I whispered. I knew he could hear me. I just stood there in the shower, listening and waiting for an answer. My answer came in the sound of our bedroom door opening and shutting. He left the room.
I shut off the shower as a rogue tear fell down my cheek. I stood there for a second, took a deep breath and stepped out of the shower. As much as I wanted to avoid it, Edward and I did need to talk about what happened.
As I stepped onto the bath mat, there was a violent pain in my right side of my stomach. I let out a soft cry as I grabbed my side, feeling the baby moving, and fell to my knees. The minute I hit the ground, the jolt form my stomach attacked my head. Another “headache”. My eyes immediately burned with the brightness of the bathroom and my head was quickly filling with more and more pressure. I let out another soft cry as the pain and dizziness kicked in and dropped me completely onto the cold bathroom tiles. I was lying there, curled into a naked ball, my face pressed into my towel that was on the floor when I heard an anxious knock on the door. The sound reverberated in my ears.
“Bella? What’s wrong?” Rosalie said through the door as she turned the doorknob. Her voice and the rattling of the doorknob forced out another cry. Each sound was louder and more piercing then the previous. The next noise caused me to gasp in pain, as Rose pushed open the door, breaking the doorknob and some hinges. I felt her cold hand on my shoulder as she grabbed another towel and threw it over me.
“Bella what happened?” she asked, true concern seeping through her voice. “Carlisle” was the only thing I was able to whimper as tears were now flowing freely. Rosalie slid her arms under my knees and back, lifting me while keeping me in the fetal position I was in on the floor. She tucked the one towel around me, keeping the other one over my face and took off towards Carlisle’s office.
The sound of another door crashing open made me shutter into Rosalie’s shoulder.
“Bella!!” Edward cried as I flinched at the volume of his voice. Why was Edward in Carlisle’s office and why was he yelling at me?
“I heard her cry in the bathroom and found her on the floor like this” Rose explained loudly, seemingly panicked. “All she said was your name Carlisle.” “Put her on the couch,” Carlisle ordered.
“Can you please stop yelling” I whispered into Rosalie’s shoulder as she put me down on the soft leather cushions. Immediately, I felt someone pick me back up and cradle me into their chest. I knew instantly it was Edward and I willingly curled closer into him. “Is it your head again?” he whispered softly to me while tucking the towel around me tighter. I just nodded as a shiver ran threw me. I was still dripping wet and curled up into a cold vampire. “Rose, can you grab her a blanket or something warmer?” he asked softly as he pressed my covered face into the crook of his neck.
“Bella, what happened?” Carlisle asked in a soft tone. I just shook my head, unable to speak. I was too dizzy and nauseous to risk opening my mouth. I felt a blanket being laid upon me and tucked gently around my towel wrapped body. “What’s wrong with her Edward?” Rosalie asked as tears continued to aimlessly fall down my cheek. I could feel Edward’s hand rubbing my back as he gently rocked me in his arms. “It’s her head.” I could hear the pain in his quiet voice, and I’m sure if I were able to open my eyes, I would see it mirrored in his eyes as well. “Carlisle, is there anything we can do?” he asked while sweeping my wet hair away from my face and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.
There was too much talking and their voices were ringing in my ears, even though they had all lowered their voices to a whisper. I just wanted to be somewhere dark and silent. I wanted to be in our bed with Edward holding me and magically making the pain go away. I risked pulling my face away from his neck to look at him. The light was excruciating, but I needed to look in his eyes.
“Edward” I softly whimpered, looking up at him through slits in my eyelids. “What’s the matter love?”
“You want me to take you to bed?” he asked, slowly running his cold thumb over my left eyebrow and forehead. He started rubbing my temple as I nodded. “Carlisle?” Edward asked, making sure it was ok. “I would actually rather she stays here for observation Edward” Carlisle answered in his professional doctor tone.
By now, my face was back between Edwards chin and shoulder, pressed tightly into the towel. “Please” I pleaded in a voice that was barely audible in my own ears. Edward continued to hold me tight and run his hand down the back on my head. I barely registered the second set of hands on my back as Carlisle came to kneel down beside me.
“Ok Bella,” he whispered softly as his hand rubbed my left shoulder, “but I want you to listen to Edward and do what he says. I gave him some suggestions on different things that might help lessen the pain if it gets too severe.”
“Like hell she’ll do what Edward says!” Rosalie yelled. A cry escaped my lips as I cringed into Edward. Her voice caused fresh tears to spring from my eyes and a new wave of nausea to wobble in my stomach. “Rose, please” Edward begged as he pulled me impossibly closer to him and rested his left cheek on my forehead. “Don’t ‘Rose, please’ me, Edward. You’re the one who wants to kill her baby and I’m the one she called to protect her from this kind of thing.” She continued to yell. Tears were falling freely now and I could feel my body shaking from my sobs. “Fine, yell at me all you want, but can you at least do it in your mind. The noise is too much for Bella”. Edward picked me up and started walking to our room. I can only assume that Rosalie was following and mentally tormenting him because he would sporadically let out a large sign.
I heard Edward open our bedroom door and he gently set me down on our bed, kissing my forehead before letting me go. “Do you mind Rose, Bella needs to get dressed and sleep” Edward pleaded from across the room, closing all the blinds, making the room marginally darker. “I’m not going anywhere” she silently spat back. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was glad that Rose was there to help me, but I just wanted to be with Edward. “Please Rose?” I said between silent sobs.
There was a pause.
“Fine, but I’ll be right outside the door.” I heard the door open and shut. “Let’s get you dressed” Edward said as he slowly pulled the blanket away from me. He gently lifted me up into a sitting position. Both the towel wrapped around my body and the one pressed over my eyes fell. I heard Edward gasp. “Bella, what happened?” I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what he was talking about and I was concentrating too hard on pressing my eyes closed as tightly as possible. “Bella, you’re bruised everywhere” he said. I still didn’t know what he was talking about. Then it hit me, the second Edward tentatively laid his hand on the right side of my stomach where our little nudger had nudged me a little too hard when I was getting out of the shower.
“The baby?” he asked, torture clear in his voice. I nodded.
I heard him take in a shaky breath as he quickly removed his hand from my stomach. He slowly got me dressed without saying another word, before laying us down on the bed, the blanket covering both of us. With our foreheads pressed together, the coolness of his skin seemed to put a stop to the continuous rising pressure in my head.
I must have finally dozed off because I woke up to Edward’s hands pushing my hair back, wiping a tear from my cheek and placing a cold face cloth over my eyes. I didn’t remember pain in my sleep, but as soon as I was awake again, the pain returned.
I felt his cold lips brush my forehead. “Still bad?” he whispered. Once again, I was only capable of nodding my head. “Carlisle said that we should try and get you to relax, that maybe that will ease the pressure” Edward said as he continued to trail his cold, gentle thumb over my right cheek. “I’ll be right back” he whispered, and he was gone from my side.
I tried to remove the face cloth to open my eyes and see where Edward ran off to, but as soon as I started to lift the corner, the bright light burned into my eyes. I immediately pressed the cloth tightly over my eyes as the sound of water running filled the room. Edward had run into the bathroom to draw the bath for me and had closed the door so that the water wasn’t too loud. After a minute, he came back into the bedroom and knelt beside the bed.
“Love, I have to sit you up for a minute.” Edward slid his hand under the left side of my body and gently lifted me up. The face cloth fell from my eyes and I had to clothes them tighter to keep out the light coming through the bedroom curtains and from under the door. He slowly put his hands under the seam of his favourite t-shirt that I was wearing, and lifted it off over my head. My arms fell back down like they were broken. Edward stood up, still supporting me, and tenderly laid me down backwards on the bed. He stared to pull down my sweatpants and underwear. Once I was completely naked, he went to turn off the water in the bathtub.
“You ready?” He whispered as he slid one arm under my legs and the other under my back. I simply nodded my head and he lifted me straight up. He was so careful that it didn’t even feel like I was moving. I was surprised to note that there was no fabric between us. Edward wasn’t wearing any clothes. He carried me to the bathroom, our naked bodies pressed against each other. If I wasn’t in so much pain, I would be enjoying this.
All the lights were off, windows entirely covered and door closed. It was completely black. I was finally able to open my eyes a bit, but then closed them again. It hurt my head to much to have to try and focus.
Edward stepped up and into the bathtub, still cradling me in his arms. He slowly sunk into the hot water, caring for me the entire time.
The bathtub was huge. It was an insult to actually call it a bathtub. The edges came up to our chest and Edward was able to hold me sideways on his lap without any part of me hitting the sides.
The hot water shocked my body and I pushed myself closer into Edward’s cold chest. The combination of the two was perfect. Edward let me sit in his arms for a while, letting me relax a bit before he repositioned me. He lifted me up the tiniest bit and slid me between his legs, so that my back was pressed against his chest and my head was resting back on his shoulder. He wrapped his legs around mine so that I wouldn’t slip away from him.
Edward wrapped his left arm around my torso, tucking it below my breasts but always being careful not to touch my stomach. Although he had touched my stomach when I asked him to or when the baby was beating me up from the inside, it was still a struggle for him to do that. He gently pulled me away from him, making my body fall forward. He tenderly slid the warm, wet sponge across my shoulders and down my spine. Hot water warmed my skin and immediately started to ease the tension in my body. He moved up to my neck and pressed the full sponge gently to my skin so that the water would cascade over my shoulders and down both by chest and back.
Edward slowly removed his left hand from around my body and placed it at the base of the back of my head. He was leaning me backwards so that he could wet my hair. He gently squeezed the sponge over the top of my head. The water was hot on my skull and stung at first. It did, however, make the pressure against my temples subside the slightest bit.
When my back and hair were finished, Edward let go of the sponge, making it float to the surface of the water. He leaned me back against his chest, resting my head once again on his right shoulder. He slid both hands down my back and started rubbing circles across my tailbone. He knew exactly where my pain was and was gently trying to sooth it away. Edward continued to massage my lower back until it was no longer sore and I sunk deeper into his body.
He grabbed the sponge again and ran it up my left arm, slowly gliding across my shoulder, my collarbone and down my right side. My head didn’t move from his shoulder. The bath was already working, I wasn’t feeling dizzy or as nauseous as before.
He continued to wash my body that was underwater, being extra careful over my ever growing breasts and belly. I swear that I was bigger than yesterday. When he was washing my stomach, we could feel the baby moving and kicking me again. I winced at the pain that shot from the inside of my stomach. These little nudges were not so little anymore, they were becoming violent beatings. Edward let go of the sponge and reluctantly moved his hands to my stomach, rubbing gentle circles around where our baby was kicking me hard, colouring my stomach with multicolour bruises. I placed my hands over his and we sat there, holding my stomach. Edward continued to rub my bruised body until the kicking stopped and my breathing regulated back to normal. I wondered how many new bruises I would have by the morning.
Edward, ever so softly, placed a tender kiss on the left side of my neck. “I love you”, he whispered into my skin. I could hear pain and yet tenderness in his words. With my eyes still closed, a soft smile crossed my lips. “I love you too” I was able to whimper back, the sound of my own voice pulsing in my ears. He must have noticed the pain in my voice.
“Still bad?” He asked, lowering his hands to the underside of my stomach to rub away the pain of yet another kick site. I just nodded. This headache was not going away.
“Bella?” he whispered almost sheepishly after a moment of silence. It sounded like he was embarrassed about what he was going to ask. “I want to try something. When I was talking to Carlisle this morning, he mentioned one study that he found. Some of the patients found that this type of…treatment completely alleviated their headaches and migraines and Carlisle thought that we should give it a try. He’s worried about putting you on any medication; he wants to try as many natural alternatives first.” It made sense. Seeing how we didn’t really know anything about what the baby was, I don’t think pumping me full of pain killers and other drugs was such a good idea. But, there was something in the way that Edward was acting that was making me uneasy. He was being secretive about the “treatment” Carlisle had suggested and he seemed nervous.
“K” I whispered back, trepidation saturating my voice. I only wish I knew what I had just agreed to.