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A Dark Adaptaton of New Moon

Summary:
It's been a year since Edward left Bella. Strong ties bond Jacob and Bella together, but one night of surpise and misfortune will forver change the lives of these three people. What would you do when all you love is violently taken away?


Notes:


13. Chapter 13 - Quiet

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Chapter 13 - Quiet

By sundown, I have already packed about ten boxes and cleared out most of my closet. My back is protesting painfully and strands of hair are plastered against my sweaty face. Charlie is catching some shut eye in case he's called into the station again tonight. I drag my feet heavily across my room and drop onto a beanbag.

I managed to get a lot done today but all day long, my mind kept going back to my strange encounter with Gabriel. His cryptic warning played over and over again in my head like a scratched record, yet, I couldn't make any sense of it. What did he mean when he said Edward didn't know what I was? And why do I feel this strange energy whenever I'm close to him? I suppose the question should be ‘what is he?'

I sigh deeply and toss my head back, trying to clear my mind, finding it impossible not to think. Jacob is gone. He's gone and he's not coming back. The truth weighed heavily in my heart. Determined to stay strong, as he once taught me, I push myself up and take off my sneakers using my feet. I am in desperate need of a hot shower. I pull of my shirt and toss it to a corner and shrug off my jeans.

As I walk over to the bed to reach for my towel, I get the odd feeling again that I'm being watched. My window is wide open and the only view is the deep and dark forest across the street. I grab the towel and cover myself with it as I walk towards the window and peer out into the night. Not a single thing in sight other than the trees. A chill runs down my back and I close and latch the window and pull the curtains shut. I stop and laugh to myself. I'm being stupid, of course, and I head to the shower.

In the shower, I stand still, letting the water race down my body in countless streams, washing away the soreness and sweat, wishing it could also wash away my stress and sorrow. As a new promise brings my heart back to life, a new womb pierces it. Despite the rebirth of happiness in my reconciliation with Edward, I can't help but feel jaded at having lost a friend at the expense of my love for him. But was it truly love that Jacob felt for me? For love is unselfish and self-sacrificing. If he truly loved me, wouldn't he have wanted me to be happy at any cost?

After a while, the hot water begins to cool and I rinse and reach for my towel. Though my body feels better, my head does not. I'm beginning to feel a dull headache make its way towards the center of my head. I dry myself and pull on a long tee before heading back to my room. I pause just outside my door. Earlier, I had hoped that Edward was not waiting for me in my room, afraid that he would derail my attempt to visit Jacob. Now, as I stand here with my hand on the knob, I find myself wishing and hoping that he's in there now, leaning against the wall, sitting on the rocking chair or lying on my bed, waiting for me.

I turn the knob and hold my breath as I walk in. He's not here. My heart sinks. I suppose it was wishful thinking. I threw him out earlier, told him or rather, yelled at him to leave. I was caught in the moment, angry with myself and torn at Jacob's leaving. I had thought, at that moment, that it was Edward's fault. That if he had not shown up, Jacob wouldn't have left. Of course, once my fury subsided, so did my denial. Jacob would have left anyway. Whether it was today, tomorrow, in a week, a month... he would've left because the truth was that there was no separating me from Edward. I love him and need him like an addict needs a hit. I don't want to remember what it felt like without him.

I slip into bed and pull the covers up to my chin, bunching it between my arms. The overwhelming silence does nothing to induce my sleep. It just hangs in the air, saturating my thoughts. I try to occupy my mind by planning on what to do the next day, but I keep losing my train of thought and keep finding my way back to my misery. I feel the threat of tears and ball up under the covers, when I feel the bed sink behind me and a familiar chill against my neck.

He says nothing as he lays his arm across me and holds me tight against him. He finds my hand and slips his fingers through mine while he gently kisses me behind my ear. His sweet scent infuses the air around me. Every cell in my body begs to turn and face him but I hold back. I don't want to expose my tears. My pain and suffering is a contagion, infecting his silent heart. So, I just lay very still, as he quietly hums my lullaby in my ear and tranquilizes me to sleep. With all my troubles forgotten, I fall into a deep and comforting sleep.