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A Dark Adaptaton of New Moon

It's been a year since Edward left Bella. Strong ties bond Jacob and Bella together, but one night of surpise and misfortune will forver change the lives of these three people. What would you do when all you love is violently taken away?


4. Chapter 4 - Homecoming

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Chapter 4 - Homecoming

To my pleasant surprise, the week had gone by faster than I had expected. My muscles strengthened more and more each day. By Tuesday, I had already begun my therapy and pleased Carlisle enough with my progress that he decided to shorten the sentence.

"You're eagerness to leave here has shown through your progress. I've never met anyone in my 300 years that has loathed a hospital more than you. You truly are something else." Carlisle teased as he shook his head although he was pleased at how quickly I was recovering.

I felt 80%. There were still little aches here and there but they were tolerable. Another week would definitely give me an added 10%. Then I'd feel almost complete. That was as far as I can physically go. The last 10% missing was not physically attributed. That gap may possibly go missing for good.

Edward stayed by my side every step of the way. I had thought it would become rather annoying considering that things were not all patched up between us and probably never will be. Not to say I had stopped loving him. That was an impossibility. But that I trusted him was a whole other ball park. He was a bucket head... scooping up all the guilt along the way. How can I be certain that his dutiful watch over me these past few weeks was not because he felt he owed me this much? He believes that hadn't he been there that night, at the reception, had he waited for me at my room instead, that I wouldn't be here struggling to walk on my own.

I hated that he thought this way. It really wasn't his fault. And as much as I tried to blame myself for the cause of the accident, I couldn't. I hadn't contributed to this. Despite my discontent, the reality was that Jacob brought this upon us. I remember thinking that night, that he was making a big deal out of nothing. Edward hadn't even touched me. Sure, I understand what must have been going through his head the moment he saw Edward talking to me by the lake, but to have acted the way he did was... out of control. His rage was more than I could tackle and inevitably caused the wreck. Anyone would think I'd want his head on a plate but actually, I felt terrible for him for I'm sure that his guilt must be tearing him to pieces. The thought of it formed a small puddle in my eye.

"What's wrong?" asked Edward worriedly.

I ignored the question and continued initialing all the highlighted spots on the medical release forms the nurse had given me. I didn't stop to see what I was signing in agreement. For all I know, the conditions could've stated that I was never to bath again, never to drive again, never to use a phone again, sign my soul to the devil even... I didn't care, just as long as I was out of here.

"What troubles you?' he insisted.

"Nothing" I said hastily, flipping the pages one by one making sure I didn't miss anything. I carefully and inconspicuously raise my palm to brush a strand of hair off my face at the same time I blinked and the puddle broke releasing its tear. I caught the teardrop with my palm and hoped that he didn't catch it. Wishful thinking, of course. I'm sure he knows the exact number of pores on my face.

He didn't ask again although his concerned frown remained. I tossed the forms to the side of the bed and began to reach for my sneakers on the floor by my bed when they disappeared.

"I got it" said Edward already loosening the strings and gently wedging my foot into the shoe. How much longer will I be babysat? Although his intentions were well meant, it was beginning to get to my nerves. Charlie walked in without knocking and gave Edward a cold look before turning to face me.

"Are you ready?" he asked with a smile from ear to ear.

"Yes" I smiled backed. Edward finished tying my shoes and reached for my large duffle bag and the huge stuffed bear Alice had gotten me.

"I can take that" snapped Charlie.

"Certainly" said Edward innocently. "I'll help Bella to the car" he said as he fought back a smile. Charlie seemed to re-assess the circumstances and held his arm out to me for support instead.

"Never mind. You can carry the bags" Charlie scuffed. Edward flashed a quick smile and winked at me when Charlie wasn't looking.

Outside, the air rushed thru my nose and I felt the chill fill my lungs. It carried the scent of evergreens and soil. I paused, closing my eyes and took another deep breath, pulling the morning's dew with it. Six weeks felt like a year. Charlie helped me to the car.

"I got it from here dad. Thanks".

He seemed reluctant to let me go but he did. He made his way around to the driver's side while Edward dumped my stuff in the trunk. He walked over to me but made no move to help me in the car. A gust of wind blew my hair all around as he closed his eyes and smiled, looking like an addict taking in the high. I pulled my hair to the side and held it there. I had complained, mentally, about his constant babysitting but standing here now, a hard lump formed in my throat. I didn't want to leave not knowing if I'd see him again. I bit my lip to obscure the quiver that threatened it. He stood there. Hands in pockets, head slightly tilted to one side, with my favorite crooked smile on his painfully beautiful face.

"I'll see you soon" he said in his signature velvet voice. I simply nodded, afraid to speak and expose my nerves He leaned in and hugged me. His firm body did a number on my heart. He whispered close to my ear, "Leave your window unlatched. It's cold outside".

My heart wanted to tear out my chest. Heat spread through my face. He smiled to my embarrassing expense and he leaned in and kissed my forehead, the icy chill still fresh on my skin as he pulled away and helped me in the car. He shut my door and took a step back. Charlie wasted no time and began to pull out of the driveway. Through the side view mirror, I caught a flash of something in face before he washed it away with a smile. It did not reach his eyes though. I would see him again and that was all I cared about right now. I didn't want to let myself hope but I couldn't stop myself either.

Charlie and I didn't speak on the ride home. The deep set frowns on his face served as confirmation that he was not thrilled about the fact that the Cullens had decided to move back to Forks. Although he didn't have a problem with any of the Cullens for that matter, I couldn't say the same for Edward. Charlie's discontentment was clear in his eyes whenever he looked at him. He saw what his leaving did to me and I wish I had been stronger, that I hadn't been so dejected, at least for Charlie's sake. But how could I be when the very reason for my existence vanished without a trace? I shivered at the thought. Now here he was, out of nowhere. His very presence pounding and threatening the walls I've built around myself because of him. Here he was tormenting my emotions while disrupting the steady and healthy beat of my mended heart, a heart that Jacob had pieced together one by one.


"Dad?" His thoughts were somewhere else, somewhere far. My voice didn't register to him yet.

"Charlie!" I said louder this time. He lunged back to reality and blinked ferociously before facing me.

"Yes" he said, clearing his throat.

"I want to see Jacob. Can you take me to his house first?" I asked, knowing he'd jump to the opportunity.

"Are you sure Bells? We can always call him and have him come over. I mean, you just left the hospital. I'm not sure if the doctor wants you out and about so soon."

"I'm fine dad, really. I won't be long. I just want to see him." He seemed to weigh his indecision for a moment before smiling and saying "Sure! I'm sure he'd be stoked to see you again".

Excitement radiated through my veins. I felt like a kid heading to Disney World for the first time. I was going to see him. Alive. The trip from the hospital to La Push couldn't have dragged on any longer. When we arrived to Jacob's house, I didn't wait for Charlie to help me out of the car. I had removed my seat belt just before we turned in to the driveway and swung my door open before he put the car in Park and shut it off. I began making my way towards the house when Jacob opened the door. A look of shock and awe set in his face. I ran, until I slammed into him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He hugged me tight and spun me around once laughing.

"Bella!" he breathed in both relief and exhalation. His body shivered against mine. He buried his face between my hair and my neck and gently rocked me back and forth for about a minute. His arms stayed locked behind my back when he finally set me down. Tears ran down his torn face.

"I'm so sorry Bella" he whispered as I wiped his hot tears.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. The pack was right in taking you away. We could've lost you had you stayed with me. I could've lost you".

"I don't care what they would've done to me if they'd seen me. It was a stupid decision on the packs' part. What if help would've never come for you? You could've died." He pulled me to his chest and held the back of my head as he kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you and that I lost control. I thought I had already lost you when I saw you standing there by the lake. I wanted to take you away from there. Somewhere far away. Then I would return to... to kill him" he said darkly.

My body froze and so did my breathing. I pulled away to look at him. His eyes were cold and distant.

"NO! You will not. Edward didn't mean any harm." I said, angry now.

"He's already harmed you, Bella."

Before I could protest, Charlie walked up to us. "Don't let me interrupt" he teased and walked into the house calling for Billy.

Jacob took me by the hand. "Come on." he smiled as he led me inside.

Time flew by as we all laughed and ate dinner together. Billy cooked a mouthwatering pot roast with vegetables. Even after our plates were empty, we all stayed at the dinner table just catching up. Charlie's radio began chirping. He excused himself and stepped outside to the porch. When he was sure he left, Billy turned to look at me.

"Bella, I haven't had the chance to apologize to you for what happened that night. I'm sure Jacob must've already told you." he said in a low tone.

"Yes, he did and you have nothing to be sorry about. You all did what was right." I assured him. Before he could say anymore, Charlie came in with an annoyed expression on his face.

"What's up officer?" asked Billy.

"I'm afraid we'll have to start wrapping up" he said towards me. "I'm on call this month until Sheriff Smith gets back from his vacation. I just got a call from headquarters. Apparently, they need me down at the station. They brought in two suspects for the double homicide in Port Angeles. Since they're in my jurisdiction, I get the pleasure of interrogating them."

"Hey Charlie, is there any way Bella can stay? I can drive her myself when you get back and save you the trip" asked Jacob.

"No son, it may be morning before I get back." answered Charlie.

"So then let her stay for the night" said Jacob. "It's not a good idea to leave her home alone especially after being release front the hospital."

Charlie seemed to mull over the idea. "Sure, why not." Jacob flashed a huge smile.

"Bella can have Jacob's room. Jacob can have the sofa" said Billy.

"Well, I gotta get going. You take care of yourself" Charlie said to me.

"Will do. Take care out there!" I replied.

Jacob walked Charlie to the car and retrieved my bag leaving Alice's teddy bear in the trunk. I got up to help Billy clean up the table when Jacob grabbed my wrist. "What do you think you're doing?" he chuckled.

"It's OK. I got it" I insisted.

"Bella, don't be stupid will ya?" he snorted. "Why don't you go lay down for a little bit while I help clean up the kitchen?" And he led me towards his bedroom. The room was dark but warm and cozy, not to mention messy. The comforters were all mangled on the king sized bed. It was a massive bed. It was simple in design - a low wooden platform bed. Because of Jacob's size, he needed something without a foot board. To the far right of the room, between two windows, laid an array of crumbled paper on a wooden desk. I uncrumbled one of the paper balls expecting to find a flawed drawing. What I found instead was a letter, addressed to me.

Bella, I'm sorry that I brought you to this. That filthy bloodsucker fueled my......

That was all of it. All of them began similarly but cut off at mid-sentence. Through the window, I saw darkening clouds spreading slowly ahead. Will he really be at my window tonight? I thought to myself. I sighed deeply. I felt like my body was being pulled in opposite directions. I wanted to be there with him, in the cool embrace of his arms but I also wanted to be here with Jake. I tried to imagine what he would do when he did not see me there. Would he know where I am? Would he rage and go out looking for me. I sighed and raised the window as high as it would go and climbed out onto the deck.

It was beginning to get chilly but I didn't mind. I sat there staring out to the vast forest ahead, my thoughts just as far as the trees in the distance. I recalled the nightmare I had the night of the accident and I shuddered. I don't know what I would've done if Jacob had died that night. He was the one who put me back together again when I thought that I had died almost a year ago. To have him taken away would've been suicide for me. From behind me, I heard a thump. I looked back to see Jacob climbing out the window.

"You know, I do have seats inside. As clumsy as you are, a rooftop is not an ideal spot for you" teased Jacob. He sat behind me, his legs to either side of me and pulled me closer to him where I leaned my back into his chest. He rested his long arms over his bent knees. I could feel his hot breath flush behind my left ear.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked.

"I was, up until you intruded." I snickered.

"Thanks for coming. I really didn't expect it." he said.

"Yeah, well. Sorry I didn't give you a head's up".

"As if I would need one" he chuckled. "You're welcome to come here whenever you want." We sat quiet and still for a while. Although I could not see his face, I felt his eyes boring down to me.



"What are you gonna do now?" I knew exactly what he meant.

"I don't know." I admitted.

He remained silent for what seemed like hours. I didn't say anymore either. My mind had been dissecting the question he just asked. I truly did not know what would happen. As much as I convinced myself that Edward would never return... he in fact did return and I never prepared myself for that. The sky began to crack and raindrops began to drum against the rooftop.

"Time to go" said Jacob as he stood up and held his hand out to support me. The rain sped up in only a fraction of a second. We quickly made it back to the window. I was the first to crawl in. I wiped raindrops off my face and my arms and turned to face Jacob when suddenly; he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me towards him with such force I didn't have a chance to gasp. His lips locked on mine as he held my shirt in fists behind my back. His kiss was overwhelming, exhilarating. I did not resist. How could I? Why would I?

He pulled back an inch from my lips to look at me. His eyes were desperate, as if this was a farewell of some sort. His hair was dripping and the water ran in streams down his face and formed a puddle in the hollow of his collar bone. This time I was the one to go for the kill. I locked my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck. Our tongues danced and fought with either. Every now and then, I'd bite his bottom lip to allow a quick breath back into my lungs without risking losing his lips. The heat soaring through me wasn't due to the touch of his scorching skin. Something incomprehensible took over me.

I reached to his waist and pulled his shirt off as high as I could. He let me go for a brief moment to shrug the tee off over his head and immediately grabbed me again, pressing his lips on mine. He backed me towards the bed. My heart felt like it was about to explode. I felt the bed pressing behind my calves. He stopped there and pulled away, short of breath as was mine. His eyes were intense and I felt them gazing deep into me. He slowly reached for my lips once more. This time, his kiss was tender, soft and caressing. He did not wrap his arms around me this time. Instead, he began unbuttoning my shirt.

My hands reached up to the edge of his sweatpants, shaking and I paused. He was down to the last button of my shirt and he too paused and looked into my eyes again. My head was spinning, my heart was swelling and my skin was burning. He studied my face, my eyes, and without leaving my eyes, he slowly brought his hands to my shoulders and gently slid my shirt off. He slowly pulled me close to his chest and kissed my shoulders while he glided his fingertips up and down my back. His touch warped me through time, to the day Edward had first kissed me.

His kiss was cool and intoxicating. It numbed all my senses. I remember how careful and calculating he was. His lips tasted something like peppermint and I remember thinking stupidly how this could be when he never chewed anything. When I returned his kiss, he glided his cool hand down my rib cage to my hips where he grabbed firm hold of me and gently pushed me to the bed, his hands never leaving my hips. I thought then, that I would've fainted, that I wouldn't be able to survive his touch. If I was in any danger of losing my life to a vampire right then and there, I didn't care. I welcomed it.

The feeling of Jacob's scorching body pressed against mine sent shivers through me, pulling me from my daydream. I was on Jacob's bed, bare-chested. He was kissing me softly on my chest bone making his way towards my left breast while softly gliding his fingertips along the side of my right breast. I knew I had to stop this though I fought with myself on this decision. Jacob's body against mine, the heat of his skin, the firmness of his groin against mine just made it all the more impossible to resist. He wanted me in ways that every woman fantasized about. Ways that had wished Edward would want me. Edward.

I gasped just as his lips reached my breast.

"Jacob, NO!" I cried out. He pulled back immediately, eyes wide, though only bringing his face to mine. His body was still pinning me down.

"Why, Bella? I love you." His eyes told the truth.

"And I love you Jacob. I really and truly do. I just don't know if it's the same kind of love you have for me. I can't do this".


"Please Jacob." I said as I squirmed to cover my breasts with my arms. His jaw clenched and flexed. His eyes seem to darken.

"It's because of him. The bloodsucker, isn't it.?" I just stared back at him, wide-eyed.

"ISN'T IT!" He shouted.

"Jacob, you're scaring me. I need you to get off me right now". I said behind clenched teeth.

"Do you think you can get this with him? Do you think he can make your flesh burn, your face flush with blood, your skin sweat? Do you think you can achieve any of that with him?" he said in a menacing whisper. His face was twisting into anger. "Well, in case you haven't noticed....he's a corpse, Bells."

"Jacob, it's because of me. I don't want this now. Please believe me and please get off me!" I said sounding a little too desperate.

"YOU LIE!" he snarled and quickly pressed his lips to my neck kissing with intensity and pressing his teeth into my skin. "Or is it the bite that appeals to you?" he said quietly and scathingly. "I too have a bite, Bella. Except that mine won't kill you. Or is that what you really want?" he pulled away to look at me. Tears ran down my terrified face. My face was bone white in the reflection of his eyes. This is not my Jacob. This is the monster that lives within him... taking control of his senses. The monster that almost had me killed.

"Please." I pleaded in a whisper that could barely be heard. Like a light switch, Jacob's face blinked into reality, snapping him out of his demon.

"Bella" he said breathlessly. "I'm so sor....."

"Please, get off me" I whimpered. He quickly lifted himself off me and took two steps back, shock clearly in his face. He held his head between his hands and paced back and forth. I scrambled for my shirt while covering my breasts.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I ignored him and stuffed my bra into my bag. I made for the door.

"No, wait." He grabbed my arm.

"Don't fucking touch me." I hissed as anger became to swell through my veins. Instantly, he let go of my arm as if he just touched a burning iron.

"Bella, please stop. Let's talk" he pleaded as he followed me down the stairs. I continued to ignore him and made my way to the front door.

"Wait! Bella, at least let me take you home. You can't walk it!" He cried out.

I realized that the distance was quite a stretch from his house to mine but I figured I can get there in little than 2 hours by foot. I continued my trial. Suddenly, he was towering in front of me. I tried to escape him but couldn't.

"Jacob, get out of my way" I yelled, tears streaming down my face.

"Like it or not....I am taking you home. If you want to throw a fit, scream, kick, punch or yell.....FINE! But I am not in any way letting you walk off on your own" he growled. He flipped me over his shoulder and made for the truck. I pounded his back with my fists as hard as I could to no avail. He tossed me into the front seat and clipped the seat belt over me. He slammed the door and went around to the driver's side.

We drove in silence. I kept my gaze towards the passing trees edging the side of the road. The fury boiling in me had not subsided. There was also another feeling starting to surface - the feeling of guilt and regret. Although Jacob was the first to initiate what transpired in his bedroom a few minutes ago, I allowed myself to feed into it, erasing any doubt that he may have had. I invited him in. I guess I had known all along that I had to stop, that it was wrong. But I couldn't bring myself to it. His touch was irresistible and his embrace was unbreakable. He had me caught up in the moment.

But that wasn't what had me raging mad. It was his selfishness, his inability to control himself that disgusted me. Where there had been a strong belief that he would never hurt me, cracks began to appear, leaking doubt into my head. Indeed he loved me....perhaps more than I give him credit for, but what was his love for me capable of? I cringed at the thought.

"Bells" he asked softly. "Are you all right?"

"NO, I'm not all right. Just what were you thinking?" I snapped. His worried frown took a snide twist.

"The same thing you were thinking... or so I thought" he said apparently thinking this was a joke. That did it.

"You caught me off guard Jacob! How was I supposed to react? So I, for a moment, fell for it. Why didn't you stop once I realized it was wrong and asked you to get off me?

He pursed his lips into a hard line and said nothing.

"Jacob, listen to me... I love you, more than you give me credit for but it's not the same kind of love that you have for me. I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise, it's just that you love me in the way... well, the way I want to be loved... but not from you."

"Who then?" he sneered. "Him?" he hissed.

I stared at him for a long while before turning to face ahead. I had often compared the two of them - Edward and Jacob. Their differences were like night and day. Edward was ever the traditionalist... a little too old fashioned at times but he was eloquent, respectful, and reserved. Jacob was the outgoing one. The daredevil. He was rambunctious, funny, and carefree but harbored a fury that was unsurpassed. And that response right there came from the one part of Jacob that I loathed.

I turned my face away from him and continued to stare out my window wondering how in the world I ever came upon this situation. A year and a half ago, while I was sitting in my room in Phoenix wearing nothing but a tank top and undies, trying to beat the heat, I would've never imagined in my wildest dreams that about a year later, I would be the center of attention for a wickedly beautiful vampire and a sinfully gorgeous werewolf. What were my odds back then? I mentally chuckled at the thought.

After a few minutes and as we were approaching my house, he reached out to touch my hand. I flinched it away. I could see the remorse on his face from the reflection of the passenger window. I hated to be this way with him. I knew this was something that was hard for him to control but it didn't help to ease my rage. We pulled to a stop across from the house. I was already half way out the door when he came around to my side, both hand up towards me, begging that I stop from moving forward.

"Bella, please stop and listen" he said as he blocked my path. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to. I respect you and I know I can control myself. What happened back there wasn't a matter of losing control... at least I don't think so. I think if you gave us a chance, to grow into something more, you'd see that I can be the one for you. With me, you can have a future, and children, something you can never achieve with that bloodsucker. I can keep you safe and..."

"Jacob, you're talking non-sense. Now get out of my way." I said as I pushed my way around him. I took only three steps when he suddenly grabbed me by the arm to stop me. Then it all happened at once. As I turned to face him and wrench my arm back, Edward appeared out of thin air between us, facing Jacob, his head tilted to one side and his arm stretched out behind him as if protecting me.

"Bella?" he asked smoothly without taking his eyes off Jacob who was now seething. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine" I stammered. "Jacob was dropping me off".

"Is that so?" he mused. Jacob let go of my arm. He inhaled deeply and I could've sworn his chest grew two sizes. Edward did not move.

"So I gather you should be on your way then, Jacob" said Edward in the same smooth voice.

"And leave her here alone with you? Not a chance." Jacob said as grinned. My heart began palpitating loudly. Edward heard it.

"Easy, love. Calm yourself. I'm not going to harm him. Not now at least. I can control it... unlike others."

To my surprise, Jacob backed a step and chuckled, crossing his arms in front of him. "Self control?" he mused. He said nothing more. He just stood there and stared at Edward with a grin on his face. Edward stood too still, like a statue. Suddenly he looked down and turned to look at me with horror struck eyes. His face twisted in pain. It took me a moment to figure out what was going on.

"JACOB! STOP!" I yelled as I realized what was happening. He used Edward's ability to read minds to show him what just happened earlier in his bedroom. Terror and rage overtook my senses. I threw myself towards him. A cool arm wrapped around my waist pulling me back.

Jacob's grin changed into an anxious frown. "I'm sorry Bella" he said as if he just snapped out of his altered ego. I struggled to free myself from Edward's hold. He turned me around and pulled me closer to him, holding my head to his chest as if blocking my sight of Jacob. My eyes flooded with tears and I stopped trying to free myself. I just sobbed, defeated, into in his shirt.

"Easy" whispered Edward. "He doesn't play fair. Perhaps he acts out of desperation," he said as he composed himself and stared back at Jacob, "knowing that there is no game, no fight, for I already possess what he most desires." he said in a flat voice. "And what's worse is that he knows that I keep no cage to hold you."

"The fact that I have not ripped your maggot head off should be a token of my self control." snarled Jacob.

Edward chuckled then kissed the top of my head. "You're welcome to try anytime you wish. This would be sufficient excuse to kill you. Self defense, of course" he said slyly.

After a few seconds, Jacob turned and got into his truck. He slammed the truck into gear and sped off. My tears soaked Edward's shirt as he carried me up the front porch.

"Let me down! I can walk." I said lividly.

He put me down at once. I stormed in through the front door and marched up the stairs to my room. I grabbed my towel and made way to the bathroom. Once in the tub, I let all my tears gush out. I scrubbed my neck and chest as hard as I could. Though Jacob was nothing dirty or vile, I felt disgust by his touch. I knew it was anger-driven but somewhere in my delusional state of mind, I thought I could wash away what took place this evening.

After I was done rinsing away the soap, I shut off the water and just stood there, crying uncontrollably. A few moments later, the shower curtain opened and Edward was standing there, towel in hand. I made no effort to move. My being naked did not embarrass me at the moment. I'm sure he got more than a peek at me naked through Jacob's rendition. He held the towel open wide and wrapped it around me in an embrace as he gently pulled me from the shower. He walked me to my bed and I curled up into it, still wet and wrapped in a towel. He covered me with the blanket and laid close behind me.

"Please don't cry, love. Sleep and wake up new. You've done nothing wrong." he whispered.

"Yes I did. I allowed myself to fall for him" I gasped.

"You're only human, Bella" he smiled half-heartedly. I continued to sob into my pillow. After what seemed like hours, he gently turned me to face him.

"Can I ask you something, though you don't have to answer if you'd prefer" he asked, not waiting for my response.

"Why were you so angry with him? I'm confused. In his memory, I didn't see him taking advantage of you." I winced at his words. I knew he must've seen the eagerness that took over me.

"So why were you so furious with him when he dropped you off?"

"Oh isn't it obvious? Didn't you see what I did? I did this. I let him get the best of me. I got caught up in the moment and allowed myself to succumb to him. I don't know what I was thinking. Then when I asked him to stop, he ..."

"Stop?" he asked confused.

"Yes. After coming back to my senses, I asked him to stop. We never really did anything... at least that much I'm happy for." After a moment of clarity, I added "but of course he didn't show you that in his mind, did he?"

"He really doesn't play fair" he said more to himself as he shook his head back and forth. He looked down at me now.

"Bella, I can't let you out of my sight. Alice can no longer see you. We still don't understand why. If you don't want me near you," he paused "then I will honor your wishes, though I will still keep a careful watch from a distance. I love you Bella. And I don't know how I'm going to prove it to you, how I'm going to gain your trust back but if I have to fight for the next 600 years to prove myself, then I will."

I said nothing. Just the fact that here he was, by my side, was enough to rattle my emotions. Unmistakably, I loved him but as much as I wanted to believe that he wouldn't leave again, I found myself foolishly challenging the thought. My eyes began to narrow though I fought to keep them open.

"You're tired. Sleep. I'll be here when you wake." he murmured.