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A Dark Adaptaton of New Moon

Summary:
It's been a year since Edward left Bella. Strong ties bond Jacob and Bella together, but one night of surpise and misfortune will forver change the lives of these three people. What would you do when all you love is violently taken away?


Notes:


7. Chapter 7 - Bliss

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Chapter 7 - Bliss

A car door slams shut and I can make out Charlie's footsteps crunching their way through the driveway and up the stairs. The sun had washed away the night and I lay there, feeling a heavy weight on my eyelids. I looked over to my left and saw that Edward was already gone. He left a small note on the pillow. I sat up and reached for a jersey hanging on the bed post and threw it on. The note was written in perfect script which he undoubtedly mastered through so many decades.

I didn't want to wake you. I will be by later on toady. I miss you already.

Love you,

-E

I traced over his penmanship absentmindedly and smiled at the very fact that I held in my hands something I would've never thought possible just a couple of weeks ago. A simple note from Edward telling me that he will be back and most importantly, that he loved me. I had not forgotten that I agreed to marry him earlier, but right now, this small yellow slip, held so much significance, that not even a wedding could evoke.

I grabbed the pillow he laid on and buried my face in it. It still smelled like him. I could hear Charlie making his way up the stairs, his steps heavy and slow. It was 7:13AM. He must be spent, working all through the night.

"Bells?" he called out while he gave two quick rasps on the door.

"Come in dad." I felt very self conscious considering what I've done. My face flushed when he walked into my room.

"Hey hun, sorry I was out most of the night. How do you feel?"

I felt my cheeks burn of embarrassment. The term ‘rotten tomato' couldn't be more fitting right now.

"I feel great." I said feeling sheepish.

"Good, I'm glad." He said as he leaned against the door frame. He raised a small bag for me to see.

"I brought home a couple of DVDs that you might want to watch. I won't be much company for today though" he said as he yawned. "I thought you might want to watch some movies while you rested. I'll be up before supper and we can order out."

"It's ok. I can make myself something. I really wanted to pick up where I left off" I said pointing towards the empty U-Haul boxes scattered throughout my room.

Before the accident, I had begun to pack my stuff for my move to Alaska. I had applied to the University of Alaska last year, not because of its curriculum but rather the setting of the college. Alaska provided the perfect habitat for Edward. He tried relentlessly to get me to go to Dartmouth, one of the most prestigious colleges of the country and even went as far as getting me approved, something he has always denied. I refused to accept the offer. I couldn't afford it and wouldn't let Edward pay for it. When he left, I decided to stick with Alaska because it was all I could afford.

"Bells, you have another four weeks before you move! It's not like you have a whole lot of stuff to pack. Besides, Jacob is coming over this weekend to check my engine. He offered to help you with the move."

"That won't be necessary." I answered a little too quickly.

"Oh?" he said raising his brow.

"I'd prefer to do my own packing. I don't need any help."

I wondered if he could make out the bitterness in my voice because he eyed me, skeptically. I could see that he was already formulating a question in his head. My phone suddenly began vibrating, inching its way towards the edge of my nightstand. I quickly reached for it.

"Hello?"

"...you are who you wear, it's true... a girls' just as hot as the shoes she choose... Good morning, Bella" said Alice with music pounding against the background. "How are you feeling?"

"Hi, Alice... I'm okay. Thanks."

I saw Charlie frown curiously from the corner of my eye. After a brief moment, he shook his head and cleared his throat, summoning my attention.

"I'm off to bed. Wake me if you need anything."

"I will." I smiled and waited until he had left the room and shut the door. Alice was still singing to Lady Gaga as I turned my attention back to her.

"Mind lowering that?"

"Get ready, I'm picking you up" she said ignoring me.

"Where are we going?"

"We're going shopping!" she said enthusiastically.

"'We' sounds like too many people. Seriously, Alice... I can't make it. I've got a ton of things..."

"I was thinking of maybe stopping by somewhere to grab something to eat first and then we can head over to Nieman Marcus" she said, completely ignoring me.

"I'm not going, Alice" I said evenly.

"See you in five minutes" she sang and I knew exactly where I'd be in the next hour - the passenger seat of her car heading to God knows where. I tossed the phone to my side and crashed back into bed. It didn't seem like an average morning although it felt exactly like it. As if Edward never left. As if our plans remained intact. I have to admit... it seemed almost surreal.

My thoughts shifted back to Jacob and I felt my heart sink heavily. I thought about how happy I felt to see him again... alive. I also thought about what happened in his bedroom. Tears began to form in my eyes. What was I doing to him? Despite his anger and contempt over Edward, he didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve him. Shame washed over me and the tears began to make their way down my face.

e d w a r d

I paused... with one leg in my car, and frowned at the sudden pull of emotion. As quickly as it came it left. One minute, I was like a child strutting around with his new toy and a smile stretched from ear to ear. Then the next minute, pain and despair fell over me... instantly, and in just a fraction of a second it was gone. What was that? I scanned the gas station curiously.

...these damn gas prices. Two fills in just one week... come on, come on... can't this thing fill up any faster? I'm starving, I wonder if they have any of those generic burgers inside... Oh, for heaven's sake, couldn't she just walk out naked!!

There was nothing or no one that could have caused it. Even though, the feeling had gone, I was still inexplicably worried. I tried to listen in on Alice but got nothing. She must be with Bella, of course. I use to be able to hear Alice's thoughts whenever she was around Bella - giving me a cheap chance to hear her voice, but this had all changed and I don't know how or why even. I can still listen to Alice's thoughts but only when she wasn't around Bella or any of the wolves. This new rule drove me crazy.

Nonetheless, I knew she was safe because she was, indeed, with Alice. Had anything been wrong, I'm sure Alice would've already let me know. But that nagging sensation still troubled me. That's never happened to me before. I almost felt like I would break out in tears... something I have not done in decades.

I got in the car and headed home. I couldn't get my mind off her. Maybe it was due to the fact that her scent - that glorious scent of hers - was all over me. It burned in my throat and marinated my tongue. Would I ever get use to it? Was it because I haven't seen her for so long? Or could it have been because of the sex? Sex. I hated that word. It was nothing like sex. Not what you see on TV after hours or what you read on trashy romance novels. It was so much more than that.

My eyes rolled up to my head briefly and my tongue danced behind my lips at the memory of her skin, the way her lips moved against my mouth, the way her hair curtained our faces, her small scorching hands gliding down my back and the heat of her within. Bliss. That's what it was. Pure bliss.

I was truly beside myself. Weeks ago, I would've laughed at the idea that this would have been a possibility. I was sure that she would never forgive me, and I'm certain that she still hasn't, but to be lucky enough to even see her smile at me was more than I could've ever imagined. Luck was on my side... for once.

Leaving her was the biggest and dumbest idea I've ever had. My stupid mistake had caused her so much pain and nearly ended her life. Hadn't I been there that night, at Ben and Angela's wedding, had I waited for her back at her house, she would've never gotten hurt. Of course, this would have probably meant that I wouldn't be here - feeling like the luckiest son of a bitch alive... or dead. It's a selfish thought, I know, but I was and still am thoroughly convinced that I simply can't exist without her. Now more than ever.

I came back to Forks only when I couldn't bear it any longer... not knowing how she was, fearing the worst, and missing everything about her. It wasn't hard to find her. I knew she'd never leave Charlie, not after she's become a lifeline for him. So, I went back to her house that night, while she slept. I nearly lost it. Her scent was everywhere and potent - like it was the first day I met her. Her room felt like home. I remembered shuddering badly, wanting to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her. But I didn't want to wake her. Instead, I sat there, staring at her in awe for most of the night, memorizing every feature, every fold of her face and body. I could have sworn my heart would begin to beat again right then and there.

When I couldn't bare it any longer, I began to look through her things. Not to be nosy or anything, I simply wanted to see what she was up to while I was gone. Pictures were scattered on top of her desk. She had gone to some carnival with some of her friends, to the beach with Angela, and even fishing with Charlie. I laughed to myself. I know how much she hated fishing... let alone be stuck in a boat alone with Charlie.

In a frame, I found a picture of her and Jacob. Anger boiled inside me and I had to fight the urge of breaking the fucking thing. The picture was taken on his front porch, I had assumed. They both sat on the front steps - Jacob behind her and she on the step below him. He hugged her from behind with a dumb smile on his face. This wasn't what fueled me... what got to me, what almost destroyed me right then and there was her face. She was undeniably happy. He smile was genuine. Her eyes were bright. I remember thinking then that my job there was done. I managed to get her to move on without me as I had planned and there was no need for me to even be there. But I was much too selfish.

Underneath the hideous picture frame was an invite. I pulled it out and read it. Ben and Angela were getting married and a ceremony would be held at the Brightwater House the following evening. My gut feeling told me that Bella would be attending the party with the mongrel. How much I wanted to kill him that night. I fought against my jealous demon and decided that I would go to the ceremony.

I figured it would be an ideal spot since I knew that the dog would be there as well as many other witnesses. It wasn't that I feared him, for I could care less if he wanted to phase into his dog form and pick a fight... I could finish him off quite quickly. But having witnesses there would delay his attack and allow me some time to talk to her.

When I got there that evening, she was nowhere in sight. I knew she had to be somewhere. I knew she wouldn't have missed the wedding for anything in the world. I found that the room held a grand piano off to the corner. I waited until the band had finished their rendition of Bryan Adam's Heaven and asked if I could play. If she was there that night, and God I hoped she was, perhaps she would recognize the melody and make herself seen.

I caught her invigorating scent within minutes. I knew it was her without even looking. The familiar flame began to burn in my throat. I pulled it in and relished it before looking up and losing myself into her eyes. I knew right then that she would be the death of me. She was even more breathtaking awake. She looked like a goddess... so out of place here in Forks. I was a fool... a fucking imbecilic fool to have let her go.

She stormed off before I finished the song. I traced her scent to the pier by the lake. Her beauty stunned me and brought me to a stop. She wore an emerald silk dress that flowed fluidly with the wind, hugging every curve of her body. Her hair danced like black fire around her head. And her skin... ah, her skin illuminated against the moonlight. They say that perfection and beauty is subjective - but there stood the definition of both for she was perfect in every way and her beauty was unsurpassed.

I remember the feeling I felt when she spoke my name. It was something like the feeling you get when the elevator comes to sudden stop. Then I remembered the feeling I got when I heard Jacob's voice. It was almost animalistic. I wanted to tear him to pieces. I couldn't help but ask if I was too late. I needed to know. I searched for the slightest hint in her eyes but for once, I found them empty. The pull wasn't there anymore. She must've sensed my rage because she made quick to leave and with no response. I was so stunned I couldn't move. Was it really over?

I couldn't think straight. The dog kept verbally and mentally trashing me. He looked like he was about to lose it. Bella tried to push him the other direction but he shoved her hand aside and that set me off and I was instantly inches from him. She stood between us and placed her hands on our chests. The heat from her hand pierced through my chest, slowly warming me. I felt as if I were coming alive... become human. Of course, the little piece of shit yanked her away the minute I tried to touch her. I wanted to tear her away from him and run but I couldn't... not there. And I knew she wouldn't want me to. So I fought against it and let him take her. And this was where I fucked up.

I shook my head and concentrated on the road ahead. I tried not to think of that night. The memory of Bella all torn and broken was just too much to bear. She lived and that's all that mattered to me. Even if she didn't want me anymore, the fact that she lived was enough for me. I am truly scared of how much I love her. I know I would never hurt her but my very existence in now in her hands. She can end it at the snap of a finger if she wanted to. I have become completely dependent on her. She is my lifeline - as ironic as it may seem. And she's going to be my wife soon. Yes, bliss indeed.