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banner by marauder_by_midnight Edward comes back after an unnexpected night. But what if Bella doesnt want him back in her life? Edward comes back after 13 years since his and Bella's last encounter, Bella has a new life and a family, will Edward endure the same rejection he faced? Thanks to Marauder by Midnight for the GORGEOUS banner!


13. Guilt

Rating 3.6/5   Word Count 1368   Review this Chapter

I sat in my bed, crying. I couldn't hide my tears any longer. I kept my head in my knees, the tears falling down onto the white covers. I traced my fingers on the soft mattress, running my fingers across, until finally I realised, nobody would ever sleep there again.

My sobs came loud, I couldn't hear the rain pour outside the windows, my breath came in hard gasps;as if I wanted to live.

I threw my head back on the headrest, I looked up into the ceiling. White and bright, it seemed like heaven, but when I dropped my head, all I saw was darkness and rain, I scowled, it mocked me, my life was now cloudy and rainy forever.

"Bella." I heard Edward say, I knew he was going to come sooner or later.

I sniffled and raised my head to meet his gaze. "Hmm." I managed to say.

"I-I'm sorry for this, I-I shouldn't have ever come. Now looked what happened," his voice was smooth and even, his eyes were soft and gentle. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I cant say I know how you feel, because well I don't, but it might have been the way I felt when I left you." He said, his smooth voice serving me as a lullaby.

I shook my head, "Not.Your.Fault." I managed to say without sounding like a tone deaf penguin. It wasn't his fault, it was mine for letting him enter, my fault for leaving the stupid note in my pocket for Jacob to find, and my fault I was an irresponsible adult.

He sat in front of me, he stroked my cheek with his index finger. I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry." He said again.

I managed to regain most of my voice, "I just cant believe he's ...dead." I said, the last word was hard to get through, I choked it out with a loud gasp. "He died in my arms." I sniffled remembering back at the hospital. I shook my head and threw my arms around Edward, "Hes dead, he's dead, I killed him, I am a murderer, I should die, I don't deserve to LIVE!" I choked out. I clutched my chest, feeling into my heart that thumped hard against my chest. Why couldn't it be me in that car crash instead of Jacob.

Edward held on to me tight, I shook feverishly in his arms as I remembered the last moments in the hospital. Jacob's heart beat had sped up and the doctors came hurrying into the room, they took my children out of the room, in case the awoke. I sat there my hands in his left hand, crying into my lap, praying for him not to die. I felt hands push me off his body, I screamed and kicked and thrashed until they let me go, but it was too late, Jacob;s heart let one more pump, enough for me to reach him, cradle him in my arms, and silence forever.

"I loved him," I croaked out.

Edward sighed, I buried my face in his chest. I dint want to get his expensive looking shirt wet with tears,but he didn't seem to mind. His cold body helped my burning eyes.

"Are your children fine?" He asked after a moment of silence; except for my loud sobs and sniffles.

"The doctors say they are very injured, hes not sure if the will, survive." I started crying on the last word. "I need to spend time with hem but the doctor told me to come tomorrow."

"When is Jacob's...funeral?" Edward said, struggling, I knew he didn't want to say the wrong thing and was choosing his words right.

"Three days." I said my voice cracking.

The room span around me, the sinking feeling that my husband for eleven years was dead made me weak and vulnerable. I didn't understand how he could die, I didn't understand why didn't he just heal himself. I remembered his soft smile, his dark eyes burning into mine, his warm 108 degree kisses, his body on mine. I shook my head, knowing that I would never get that back.

I had to ask Edward maybe he had the answer to my question, "Edward..." I said, he looked at me, "I-I don't understand....Jacob is a werewolf...couldn't he...er...heal himself?"

Edward held me on the shoulders looking deep into my eyes, he sighed, trying to find words again, "Bella, I took a look into Jacob's mind, he...I-I don't know how to say this, Bella, but it seemed like he wasnt trying to live anymore. He wanted to be with you but he felt like he was beaten by me again, he didn't feel angry he actually said 'take care of her for me', he knew I would be listening." Edward said tracing the side of my cheek, I leaned into it, tears in my eyes. "I will take care of you, if you let me."

I nodded my head.

I looked up to Edward, but instead of Edward's face I saw Jacob's smiling down at me.

My air got caught in my throat. I couldn't believe that Jacob was here with me. I raised my head to meet his eyes. I closed my eyes and leaned into his face. The kiss lasted a second or so until so cold hard arms pushed me off.

"Bella?" Edward's voice asked through Jacob's body.

I shook my head, "Huh?"

"Bella, no, whats wrong with you?" He asked angrily.

My temper raised for some reason and I yelled at him, "Fine leave me then!"

Edward escaped as soon as I finished my sentence. I gasped, I didnt know what got over me. I punched the mattress before lying down on it, face down.

I was sitting in a long table, along with Jacob, Charlie, Billy, Sam, Emily, Renee, and Phil. We were all chatting happily, Jacob was feeding me like a baby, me blushing of course.

We had been dating for nearly three years and we were happy with the way our lives were going.

I chewed my food still blushing, Jacob beaming. I took the spoon away from him and started feeding myself. He chuckled. Charlie made a toast to Jacob and I, and I wondered why. I looked at Jacob questionably, he held up one finger.

He stood up, holding my hand, I looked up at him, then around the table to see if anyone had a clue what was going on. Charlie was smiling brightly, Renee had a couple tears in her eyes, Phil beamed, Billy wiped his eyes, Sam chuckled holding Emily's hand looking amused, Emily biting her lip. They all knew what was going to happen except me.

I looked back up at Jacob, he hesitated before getting down in one knee, my heart started thumping faster. "Bella, you know I love you more than anything in the world. I want to spend my entire life with you, you are the woman I want to be with. You have made me a happy man, and I hope I made you a happy woman-"

"More than happy." I said tears forming in my eyes.

Jacob beamed, "Would you marry me?" He popped the question and popped up a shiny diamond engagement ring.

My heart thumped in my ears, Renee let out a gasp and started crying on Phil's shoulders, I knew they were happy tears. Charlie clapped his hands together. Billy just kept smiling. Sam winked at me. Emily nodded for me to answer.

Another person sat at the table, I knew it was hallucinations again. Edward sat across me, I gasped, he nodded, "Be happy," he told me. And then disappeared leaving the chair in front of me empty.

I turned back to Jacob, his eyes hoping. I smiled, "Yes." I answered, tears coming out of my eyes.

Jacob let out a gasp of air, relieved and placed the ring in my finger. Then he lifted his head up to mine and kissed me, I kissed him back wrapping my arms around his neck.

I jerked up, only to find myself alone in the room. I saw my finger, where both of my rings were. The shiny diamonds glittering though there was no sun, no Jacob.