I just want to DIE!
Should I die, I don't think anyone would actually care. My name is Bella Swan and I want to die. I live with my dad in a town called Forks and I want to die. I had a boyfriend who was a vampire but he left me and now I want to die. My best friend Jacob has abandoned me for a cult and now I want to die. Did I forget anything? Oh yes, I want to die because my life sucks. This story is incredibly depressing and i have no idea why i wrote it. Don't read, save your sanity
I was bored. No i am not getting depressed again, those days are over (many thanks to Moonspinner). But for some reason, i started to write this. Maybe i'm being possessed. OH! i just had a great story idea....Anyway, this is during the stage where Jake is ignoring Bella (stupid mongrel). She decides she wants to feel a new pain. Warning: This story may not end well. My sad stories don't tend to have happy endings...well actually, some of my less sad stories don't either. My random ones do but the rest don't often.
1. A razor blade.
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"Damn!" then, I felt a pain but it wasn't my normal pain. I looked down and found that a piece of glass was lying on the floor, bright with my...blood. Blood. Everything about it was repelling. The sight, the smell of rust and salt. But it reminded me of...him. When I thought about him, I would be writhing in pain but this was different. A pleasant reminder that pushed away that pain and gave me a knew one. I went inside and stuck a plaster on my knee. I had promised not to anything he would consider dangerous. But when I thought about...him, my insides burned with pain, a thousand times more intense then when I'd been bitten. I looked at my watch and decided to go back to bed. For now.
When I got up again (I hadn't been able to sleep) it was later and Charlie had left. It was now half eight. I got up and dressed casually, in black clothes. I tried not to think of the blue blouse that was now in the rubbish somewhere. I went out to the little shop that sells almost everything. I bought a packet of flannels and a pack of razors. I didn't care if I looked suspicious at this point. I drove back to the house and sat on the edge of the bath. I looked at the razor. It was shiny and inviting. But it was deadly, a killer if I let it. I closed my eyes and placed it against my skin. The I cut. The razor cut through my skin like a knife on butter. I gasped as the air stung the open wound. I felt the cool trickle of my blood run down my leg. I just watched the blood dribble into the bathtub. I lifted the razor and chose my next spot. The door opened downstairs and I froze.
"I'm in the bathroom dad!" I managed to gasp out.
"Can you be quick? I need to use it before I go back to work! I just came home to check you were okay" I seized a flannel and pressed it to my leg. I went to the medicine cupboard and anxiously searched for some bandages, all too aware of the ever-growing amount of blood.
"Are you okay?" I knocked a bottle onto the floor and swore under my breath.
"Bella?" he asked, concerned.
"Wait a sec!" I said. I seized the bandages and tucked into my pocket. I noticed that the bath had blood staining the sides and I turned on the taps.
"Just a moment!" I rolled down my trouser leg and turned off the tap. I hid my razors in the cupboard with my pads and headed to the door. I took deep breaths before unlocking it.
"There you go dad"
"Bella, you have a stain on that trouser leg," he said, pointing at the stain where the blood still ran.
"I tripped earlier and cut my leg" it was true enough. I walked rapidly past him, into my room. It was only then that I realized truly, what I'd done. I'd CUT myself! But...the new pain wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated and the old pain felt less to. If only Charlie hadn't interrupted me! I looked at the bloody razor, which I'd slipped into my pocket and smiled. Still, there was always tomorrow.
- Moonlight Hunter
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