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I just want to DIE!

Should I die, I don't think anyone would actually care. My name is Bella Swan and I want to die. I live with my dad in a town called Forks and I want to die. I had a boyfriend who was a vampire but he left me and now I want to die. My best friend Jacob has abandoned me for a cult and now I want to die. Did I forget anything? Oh yes, I want to die because my life sucks. This story is incredibly depressing and i have no idea why i wrote it. Don't read, save your sanity

I was bored. No i am not getting depressed again, those days are over (many thanks to Moonspinner). But for some reason, i started to write this. Maybe i'm being possessed. OH! i just had a great story idea....Anyway, this is during the stage where Jake is ignoring Bella (stupid mongrel). She decides she wants to feel a new pain. Warning: This story may not end well. My sad stories don't tend to have happy endings...well actually, some of my less sad stories don't either. My random ones do but the rest don't often.

13. Feelings do not stay the same.

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I was dancing with Felix when someone tapped his arm.

"May I cut in?" it was Edward.

"You most certainly can not!" I said.

"Oh, come on! Just one dance Felix. Surely you won't begrudge your wife one dance with another guy"

"Okay Edward. I'll see you in a minute Lykell. I'm going to find Brook"

"She wants to dance with Alec. Don't embarrass her," I warned him.

"I know how to be cool," he said. He winked at me and I rolled my eyes. Edward took my hand. All the music was slow stuff.


"Bella? Who's Bella? I don't know any Bella"

"Not funny"

"I don't" I said, looking into his eyes with an innocent, confused expression.

"Well, you certainly look like Isabella Marie Swan"

"Well my name is Lykell" I paused. I hadn't been given a middle name. "Lykell Faith Volturi. Formally Lykell Faith Werevon" that was Father's surname. I knew that much"

"So, Lykell Volturi, how long have you been a vampire?"

"Does that chat up line normally work for you? Because, honestly, I've heard better"

"Usually" I raised an eyebrow.

"No line, honestly. I just was curious"

"Seven years. Since Brook was born"

"I didn't know we could have kids"

"Women can't. Men can. With humans. I know from experience"

"So, what happened?"

"Didn't your parents ever explain that to you? I mean, you have to be, what, one hundred and ten?" I found it easier to talk to Edward now. Since I was trying to be someone else, this way I could act more confident then I was feeling.

"They skipped the part in vampires. Vampires and humans I mean"

"Well, the way things normally happen, happened. Except I was a human. It turns out that vampire males are fertile. Now can I please stop talking about my sex life with you?"

"Sure. Let's talk about what happened after you became a vampire" I'd never known Edward to be so impolite.

"No thanks Mr Cullen"

"What's with the formal Mr Cullen thing?"

"I hardly know you," I pointed out. Well, not true but still.

"Okay. So let me get to know you?"

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"What's your favourite colour?" I froze. That was the first question he asked me.

"It changes daily" he froze too. We weren't dancing anymore, just looking at each other. He drew closer to me. Was he going to kiss me? I was married but I didn't push him off. The music stopped and I quickly pushed him away.

"I'd appreciate you to retain your distance Mr Cullen. I am not that woman" I turned away from him and walked down the corridor. I heard his footsteps behind me.

"Lykell, I'm sorry"

"Please stop stalking me," I said.

"I am merely going in the same direction that you are"

"Which way are you going then?"

"How do I know that if I tell you, you'll change your direction?"

"I won't. Promise" I said. He glanced down the hallway as if deciding.

"That way" he said, pointing to the left.


"You're going to the right?" he asked.

"No" I opened the door I was leaning on.

"I'm going in here," I said. I shut the door in his face.
I leant against the door. Then I slipped to the floor and sat with my back against the door. I rocked backwards and forwards, my head knocking on the door each time. I was not that woman.