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I just want to DIE!

Summary:
Should I die, I don't think anyone would actually care. My name is Bella Swan and I want to die. I live with my dad in a town called Forks and I want to die. I had a boyfriend who was a vampire but he left me and now I want to die. My best friend Jacob has abandoned me for a cult and now I want to die. Did I forget anything? Oh yes, I want to die because my life sucks. This story is incredibly depressing and i have no idea why i wrote it. Don't read, save your sanity


Notes:
I was bored. No i am not getting depressed again, those days are over (many thanks to Moonspinner). But for some reason, i started to write this. Maybe i'm being possessed. OH! i just had a great story idea....Anyway, this is during the stage where Jake is ignoring Bella (stupid mongrel). She decides she wants to feel a new pain. Warning: This story may not end well. My sad stories don't tend to have happy endings...well actually, some of my less sad stories don't either. My random ones do but the rest don't often.


2. A piece of glass

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Over the next few days, I used the razors more and more. My legs became crisscrossed with scars. I didn't care if they healed of not. I woke up that morning after a particularly horrific nightmare. I knew I needed to cut. I went to the bathroom to get ready. Charlie was still in the house so I knew I couldn't start yet. I opened the cupboard to find the newest razor blade. There was none in the cupboard. I tried hard to stay calm. I walked downstairs where Charlie was eating breakfast.
"Dad? Have you seen my razor?"
"Um...I threw it out. It looked old"
"It wasn't old! It was brand new!" I snapped.
"Sorry. Surely you can buy a new pack tomorrow" I shook my head and marched upstairs. It was a Sunday, and the little shop would be closed! DAMN IT I NEEDED TO CUT! I heard the door close downstairs and the car drive away. I headed downstairs morosely. There was a bottle on the table. It was empty and I picked it up, weighing it in my hand. I hurled it across the room. It hit the cupboard and shattered. I walked quite calmly over to it, all anger now removed by that simple act. I picked up the largest shard of glass and held it up to the light. It shone inviting me to slice it across my fragile skin. I went upstairs and into my bedroom. I sat on the floor and placed the sharp edge against my leg, deciding where to cut. I changed my mind and went for my arm, just below the crook of my elbow. I pressed the point into the soft flesh and jerked it up. I gasped as the blade easily sliced through my skin. It always got me, that first cut. It wasn't the pain just the shock of relief. Relief from the never-ending torment. Since that first cut, I'd wondered why I was doing this. I knew it was stupid and dangerous but I carried on. I'd got a taste for reckless with Jacob but at least then it was less dangerous and I had someone to rescue me. But this was deliberately causing myself pain! I knew that if Jacob hadn't abandoned me I'd have never started. Screw that, I'd never have even made friends with Jacob if...if he hadn't left. I'd never have got my heart broken once, let alone twice. I scowled and moved the blade lower down my arm. I'd been wondering something recently. The flow of blood was barely a trickle. What if I cut on my veins? Those veins that pulsated an emerald green, filled with dark blood that mirrored my own desire. If the blood increased, would the relief? It still hurt when I thought of them, when I was cutting myself. So maybe...if I cut there, I could think of them clearly, at least while I was cutting. So my piece of glass cut further along my arm. I was nearly at the wrist...no. I'd save that for a time when I really needed it. Yeah...and when I had razor blades. Glass wasn't as good. It was more of a jab then a cut. Definitely...when I needed it.