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I just want to DIE!

Should I die, I don't think anyone would actually care. My name is Bella Swan and I want to die. I live with my dad in a town called Forks and I want to die. I had a boyfriend who was a vampire but he left me and now I want to die. My best friend Jacob has abandoned me for a cult and now I want to die. Did I forget anything? Oh yes, I want to die because my life sucks. This story is incredibly depressing and i have no idea why i wrote it. Don't read, save your sanity

I was bored. No i am not getting depressed again, those days are over (many thanks to Moonspinner). But for some reason, i started to write this. Maybe i'm being possessed. OH! i just had a great story idea....Anyway, this is during the stage where Jake is ignoring Bella (stupid mongrel). She decides she wants to feel a new pain. Warning: This story may not end well. My sad stories don't tend to have happy endings...well actually, some of my less sad stories don't either. My random ones do but the rest don't often.

9. New strife

Rating 0/5   Word Count 635   Review this Chapter

"I can't believe this!" shouted Felix. We were in his room, me sitting on the bed, him pacing angrily.

"Felix..." I said, quietly. We'd been having this conversation for the past three hours. Could he not just get over it? He wasn't angry with me; in fact, he'd assumed that I'd agreed with Aro to protect myself.

"What right has he to say whether or not you have to keep your child?"

"Felix," I was tired. He still didn't hear me.

"I just wish I could..."

"Felix!" he finally seemed to notice me, sitting on his bed.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure nothing happens to you" he assured me.

"Please stop pacing. It's giving me a headache, as is
your shouting. I want to sleep," I said. I flopped back onto the pillows, eyes closed.

"Lykell? Do you really want to keep it?" he asked suddenly. I felt the bed sag slightly as he sat on it but I didn't open my eyes.


"Yes Felix. I do. I want to keep it because it's part of me" and part of you my mind whispered. He's a murderer. But if I'd ever had a kid I'd have wanted it to be the child of a vampire, of Edward, so what was the difference?

"Fine. But it will kill you, are you sure you are ready for this?"

"I only have one chance. If I don't have this kid I become a vampire and then I can never have a child at all," I pointed out. I'd never thought I'd want one. However, I do. The last piece of my human life.

"Lykell, look at me" I opened my eyes. He was looking at me with crystal clear ruby eyes.


"Do you love me?"

"Not especially. I never asked for this" his face looked hurt.

"Well...Aro was insisting I marry and I don't know why. Then when I first saw you, I realized you were beautiful and I didn't care. But then, I felt, different. I do love you now Lykell. I can't help it. I don't want you to get hurt"

"Felix, my name isn't Lykell," I told him.

"Who are you then?"

"When Father took me in, he forced me to change my name. My old name was Bella Swan. That is who I was and now I'm stuck. Stuck with people I don't like or even know, being a person I don't want to be!" I snapped at him.

"I'm sorry. But what can I do to help?" he asked, desperately. My heart softened.

"Let our child live" I said.

"Okay" he said. He lay next to me and I rested my head on
his shoulder.

"What are we going to call it?" I asked, suddenly.

"Umm...I don't know"

"If it's a boy, can I call it Faolan?"

"Wasn't he one of those people who came with you?"


"So he was a friend of yours?"

"Yes. And since I picked the boy first name, you can pick the boy middle name"

"Err...hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, but I might not answer"

"You said before that werewolf found you, you were Bella Swan?"


"What happened? How did he find you?" I told him my story.

"Wow...okay, please don't shoot me for suggesting this but I have a middle name. Carlisle" I froze.

"Is that okay? I mean, I know about his coven and I always thought it was amazing how strong he was" he asked, sensing my discomfort.

"Yes. That's perfect. Now what if it's a girl?"


"Yep. I like Brook, it's a nice name. Okay, middle name...Esme" Esme and Carlisle, the two people who just wanted what was best for their family. I hoped my child would be as compassionate as Esme and as strong as Carlisle.