After the Rain
Let the rain kiss you.Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.Let the rain sing you a lullaby~Langston Hughes*************************"I missed Edward, I missed him like the flowers miss the rain. Jacob was my sun, Edward was my rain. I needed them both to survive..."Will he let her go and grieve her for the rest of his life, or will he allow her to spend the rest of existance by his side? He has to make a decision, it all lies on his shoulders... and this time it's not Edward's choice. Decisions have been made that will alter the path of New Moon. What will Bella do now that she has found the truth? Alliances have been changed. This a a twist on "New Moon" Disclaimer: I am not, nor ever will be the Stephenie Meyer who shared her beautiful characters with us. They solely belong to her. Cheers!
This story picks up during Chapter 8 of “New Moon” (after the middle of page 193 to be exact). The morning just after Bella and Jacob went for her first ride on the motorcycle and she falls and cuts her head open. This is my version of what would/could have happened if Bella had a few things altered in her story. Enjoy!
2. Chapter 2 - The Truth
Rating 5/5 Word Count 992 Review this Chapter
This cannot be happening, I told myself as I broke my tear soaked face free from my hands and finally allowed my eyes to focus and wander back to the small sanctuary that was open in my dusty bedroom floor.
Carefully, my trembling hands reached in and pulled out the precious items, and I clutched them to my chest as if they were going to be ripped away from me again.
I closed my eyes and took it all in; all the while the pounding heart in my chest radically beat like it was going to explode. I felt the rush of warmth to every part of my body, and for the first time in a long time I felt alive again.
My mind finally started to focus and it was flying with questions.
Why are these here? Why would he want to leave a part of him with me? The CD, the pictures, the tickets, the note…
Wait. The note?
I released them all from my chest and placed them on the floor next to me. I reached for the pictures first, even though the mystery note had my curiosity crawling.
I had to see him. For some reason, I had the urging need to prove one of his last few words to me to be false.
It will be as if I never existed.
I grabbed the pictures and flipped them over. I gasped and clutched my middle with my free arm as I took in the beautiful features of the angel I thought would never been seen again, if only through my memories.
Letting go of my middle, my hand flew to my mouth to stifle the sobs that were threatening to break through, as the hot tears flowed freely down my cheeks.
There he was, in his never changing beauty, so perfectly masterpieced.
After a few slow and deep breaths, I finally managed to gather myself and slow my racing heart to a normal speed. I sighed, and placed the pictures once again to the side.
I’m not sure how long I stared at the note lying on the floor, but something inside my head told me whatever that note contained, it would make me or break me. Well, I certainly couldn’t be any more broken than I already was, so really I had absolutely nothing to lose.
At that moment, a small gust of warm air flew through the small opening from my window, softly blowing my chestnut hair across my face. I glanced at the window and a small smile managed to break through. Hopelessly, I had left my window open every night, thinking if he ever decided to come back, he would know it would always be welcoming him, like a beacon. It was foolish, I know, but it was my way of leaving my heart and my life open to him.
Grabbing the note, I positioned myself cross-legged on the floor and carefully opened the priceless paper. My shaking hands steadied as I took in what was before me.
In his beautiful, perfect calligraphy were the words my aching heart needed to seal the open wound in my chest.
This letter cannot possibly contain all the words I wish I could speak to you myself. I never thought there would come a day when I would find you, my beautiful Bella. And now, I have let you go. My final words to you were nothing but mere blasphemy of my true feelings for you. Never have I stopped loving you, never will I stop loving you. I will love you for all of your days, and I will love you for all of mine. I want all of you, for all eternity, but you deserve so much better than me Bella. That is why I let my angel go and set her free. My hope is you will live your life, live it as if you had wings. No limits, no restrictions, no fear. And most of all love. Love with all your heart Bella. Love someone as much as you’ve have loved me. Be happy, my Bella. Live life with no regrets, and don’t look back. You have given me the most precious memories to take with me. I will be forever grateful. You are, and always will be my life. I leave all of myself with you. My heart is with you always, and my love for you is infinite.
Why? Why did he leave me, if he truly loved me? What was the significance of all this?
My mind was a whirlwind of emotions. I stared at the letter unable to grasp the words before me.
He loved me.
But why would he tell me he didn’t want me that heart wrenching day? Suddenly, the final words that Edward said to me in the woods that day flew through my mind, but in separate pieces, not the actual conversation.
I’m no good for you Bella.
As long as that was best for you.
It’s not the right place for you.
I won’t put you through anything like this again.
You can go on with your life without any more interference from me.
I’m no good for you Bella. I’m no good for you Bella….
I finally realized why he left. He thought that was what was best for me. Not because he wantedto leave. Edward in his usual self-inflicting criticism left because he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. He always put me first, even in the end. He was doing what he thought was best for me. He always had.
If only I could have seen it sooner, but he chose his words carefully that day, and hid his true meaning through the course of them.
He thought I could go about a normal, happy, human life without him here.
Edward thought humans were the weaker link, Edward hadn’t yet seen the strongest side of Bella Swan.
I knew Edwards truth, it was about time he learned mine…
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- 17 Jun 09
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