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What am I ?

For as long as I could remember ... I've been sick . The doctors have no clue what disease I have . Neither do my adoptive parents . I came to Forks after my mom heard about this doctor . It was there that I learned things that would change my life , forever .


2. Chapter 2

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I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?

Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

The morning air waft through the opening crack of my window . Rain softly pelt against the glass . The overcast glowed a grayish blue , signifying early morning . The glow luminated my room , making the dust debris visible to my eyes . I woke at eactly six o'clock , and saw Charlie out . I thanked him once again for the truck he gave me yesterday . Now I sit on my bed killing time . Having already ate , all that's left for me to do is take my medicine , and dress . I stared at the allignment of medication on the sink counter . If this doctor helps me , would I need to take them anymore ? Probably not .

In my palm are an array of colored pills . Tachycardia x3 max , 2 of th Maxium Strength Tylenlol , and SEROQUEL nBs . I closed my hand with the pills , filling a glass with cold water . In one swift motion , I popped the pills into my mouth drowning it with water . The taste didn't have time to affect me . If you're wondering , these pills taste horrid . Almost as Renee's chocolate , peppermint radishes ... okay no , that was God awful .

6:33 . I should figure out what to wear . It is my first day . I should consider what to wear . After all, high school is a redundant place . Teenagers focus primarily over there social life , rather than work . You're critized by the kings and queens of the old mighty kindom , because the court is brainless without them . If you meet their accomodations then the court rejoices , by pulling you in their idiotic graces . Should you fail , you'll be a wanderer . Prowling the kingdom with vengeful eyes . Or you will be the jester . The monarchs could find your appearance humorus , and decide to make a fool of you for the rest of your life .

I have been the Freak . A title that is beneath all others . Curiousity led to the series of attempted dates requested by the boys , but my illness had already branded me . Friendships aren't a possiblity . Even if I say I don't care , I feel bad to be alone .

I walked up the steps to my attic , tripping nearly on the third one . I sang under my breath one of my favorite songs .

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

I heard it when my brother covered it . His singing voice is a mixture of raspy-ness and smooth vocal octaves . It's hard to describe , but beautiful to hear . When he sang this song , I made a mental note to learn how to play it on my piano and guitar . For some reason it touches my heart . I have it on my iPod , too . I guess I'm addicted to it .

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Is how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya

I remember my grandmother being a religious woman . She brought me up to have faith in Him . She would always say that prayers go up while blessings come down . Maybe it's because I'm young , that I feel that my prayers are falling on deaf ears . I pray and pray , but it doesn't seem to do any good . I'm still sick . I'm still dying .

No . I have to try to be optomistic . Even if this fails , I'll enjoy my time with my family . The family who took the time to raise a flawed baby that showed up out of nowhere . My biological parents might not have wanted me , but at least the Swans did . For that , I'm forever grateful to them .

My outfit for today was a vintage Power Rangers screen tee with black sleeves . A pair of gray washed skinny jeans , and some Wellesley, Keren Richter collaborated Vans . Since it was raining , I went into my brother's room for a hoody . I would have worn one of my own , but I wanted something baggy . I grabbed his black with white lettering , Black Parade hoody . My hair cascaded around my shoulders in natural dark mahogany waves . I stole a glance at myself in the near by mirror . What I saw was the usual .

My heart shaped face was a deathly pale white . My eyes had dark purple circles around them that only brought out my weird eyes . The gold that usually shone in them was nearly gone . Instead , the irises were a darken reddish-brown . I couldn't look at myself anymore . I hated what I saw . What about me is beautiful ? I look like some kind of ... monster . Look at me ! I weigh 98 pounds, even though I eat three meals a day . I look so fragile and sick . I LOOK like death has already came for me . I covered my face with my hands . To me they feel normal . A fine temperature , but to everyone else I feel like a ball of flame .

7:05 . I should leave now . The schools not that far , but you never know how traffic will be . With a weary sigh , I stumble/ran to my room . I grabbed my JanSport , Super FX : Cassete backpack and iPod . I slipped my medicine assorted tray case into it , and unplugged my Nokia 2610's adaptor . I took a deep breath threw my nose . Charlie's Old Spice fragrance stung my nostrils . It's funny how I can identify things with my sense of taste and smell . Renee didn't believe me when I said I did . She thought I was playing some kind of game , but sure enough whenever she lost something I found it , easily .

The rain slacked up , but the damp taste in the air meant it would be back . I closed my window , grabbed my car keys , and headed out the door . The fresh air felt good . I eyed my baby with adoring eyes . Charlie knew me all to well . Recently , his friend Billy Black was confined to a wheelchair . He put his old Chevy up for sale . Charlie knew I needed a car , so he purchased it . At first I was apprehensive . I was already saving up for a car , but I doubted I would be able to pay him back for the truck anytime soon . To my utter relief , he gave it to me as a gift . I could use the money I have for gas ... because this thing eats it up . Still , I loved the old thing . It showed character . It's rusted red color made it seem tough . The only problem is ... it smells like dogs . No matter how many times I sprayed it with Lysol , the smell wouldn't leave . Over a period of time , it's become adaptable . Charlie said he didn't smell it , but come on . Who could miss it ?

I stuck the key into the ignition brining it to life . The truck roared to life , to my slight embarrassment . I stepped on the gas pedal , pulling out the driveway , and drove down the road .

Forks High School : Home of the Spartan , read the marquee . The parking lot was filled with cars like mine . Some of them were even more beat up . Students lingered . Talking to friends or just standing around . I pulled into a open space by a green van , where a boy and girl stood beside talking . Okay . Here we go . I shifted the gear to park , grabbed my keys , and climbed out . The boy stopped talking to his friend and smiled at me . " Nice ride," he complimented . I gave an awkward smile in thanks . Each student I passed looked at me as if I dropped from the sky . This is going to be a long day .

" Hello there . How may I help you , sweetie," asked a bubbly old lady from behind the desk . The main office was pretty small . A cherry scented Glade Plug-in was in an outlet . I smiled at her , nodding . " Yes . I'm the new student- " " Oh ! You must be Isabella ! Chief Swan's daughter . We were expecting you," she exclaimed . Well isn't this a tidbit . Charlie's been calling me Isabella behind my back . Just great .

" Here's your schedule , Ms. Swan . I'm Mrs. Cope . Your father informed us of your health , and we fully understand if you need to leave . He also informed us of your medication . Would you like to give it to the nurse or keep it with you," she asked , sympathectically . Her name is Cope , but I can't cope with her pitty . How ironic . " No thank you . I'd like to keep it with me . Thanks for your concern . Bye . " I quickly left the office . I had my schedule in my left hand , while the right grasped the strap of my backpack . I took another deep breath through my nose , only to gag . Something stinked ! It was almost as worst as the dog smell . Whipping my head around , I couldn't pin point where it actually came from . The passing students didn't smell like it . They smelt of perfume , deodorant , etc . This scent was ... different . It was fresh, too . I leaned my head closer to a window , I needed to breathe the fresh air . My backpack bumped against the wall , causing my iPod to activate . From the small compartment , I could hear it play HIM .

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

I swung the bag around to get to it . Pulling it out the front small compartment , I shut it off . " So you like HIM , too . Cool . " I looked up to meet the baby blue eyes of a boy . He had semi spikey blond hair , creamy colored skin and a shy smile on his face . His heart was beating so loudly , I thought he was going to have a heart attack . Wait , why can I hear his heart ?

" Hi . I'm Mike . Mike Newton , you're Isabella Swan , right, " he asked . I was distracted by the fast beating of his heart , and rushing blood flow to his cheeks . Shaking my head , I cleared my suddenly scratchy throat . " Y-yeah . Ahem ! Excuse me . Yeah , but I like to be called Bella . Nice to meet you," I introduced myself . Mike chuckled . He pointed to my schedule and asked," What's your next class ? I can walk you there if you want . " I glanced down at the sheet of paper scanning over the classes .

" Mr. West's English 3 . Room 102," I read aloud . Mike grin grew bigger , somehow that is possible . He looks like the Joker . " That's my class ! I'll walk you there," he offered . He placed a hand on my shoulder leading me in the direction of it .

" You know those contacts are awesome . Where'd you get 'em," he asked striking up a conversation . I resisted the urge to roll my eyes . " They're not contacts," I replied . Before he could ask anything else , I spotted room 102 . I picked up the pace , entering the class . The teacher was stacking some novels on his desk . He looked over at me and gaped . I took some steps forward handing him the schedule . " I'm Bella Swan . You have to sign the bottom of this," I explained . He shut his mouth , taking it from me . " O-oh ! Alright . I'm Mr. West . Welcome to Forks," he greeted . He wrote his name at the bottom of the slip . " Let's see ... you can sit next Mr. Hale . Mr. Hale ! Please raise your hand for Ms. Swan . " I blushed when the other student's head snapped up to look at me . Some girls looked furious , while the boys looked envious . I grabbed my schedule and walked over to where his table . I managed to slip on a piece of paper . Falling on my face .

Freaking spectacular . Not only did I embarrass myself , but this is my first impression ! The Hale kid's chair slid out . He got up , chuckling . He reached his hand out for me to take . I smiled slightly , accepting his help . I took his hand , which was incredibly cold and said " Th-" I breathed in his scent . His stinking scent . I felt the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand . My lips curled up as a ripping noise came from my throat . His dark honey eyes widened . I tightened my grip on his hand subconciously . He quickly mouthed the words , " No . Y-you can't be a wolf ... you don't smell like them ! "