Because of Her
Used to be Completeness: Edward and Renesmee A fluffy collection of family moments between the Cullens and Nessie, and maybe Jacob. I changed my penname from Friday13, so don't freak out on me. No longer a one shot. Rated T for minor swearing in later chapters.
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I was sitting on my black couch in our cottage, just listening to the faint breathing of my daughter in another room. She was sick with the flu. Bella and the rest of my family had gone hunting and would be gone for a few days, leaving me to care for my poor daughter. As I thought of my Renesmee, I decided that I would go and check on her. I walked into her room as quietly as possible. She laid there, an angel in the moonlight. I smiled at the sight of my beautiful daughter. She was perfect with her beautiful bronze curls, and her big doe eyes framed with thick lashes. Her tiny body looked that of a five year old, although she was only two. Her small body was curled into a ball no doubt in reaction to the cold of this snowy night. I carefully walked over to her bed and sat on the corner of it so that I could clearly see her. Serenity was painted on her face, but there was also another emotion. Pain, emotional pain. I was puzzled, what could she possibly be thinking that would cause such pain after having lived for only such a short time. I stared down at my daughter as the thoughts swarmed inside my head. As if she could sense me there, Renesmee opened her big beautiful chocolate eyes and peered up into my own. “I’m sorry Renesmee, did I wake you?” I asked, concern coating my voice.
“No, I was having a bad dream anyway,” she whispered as she climbed into my lap. She snuggled up to me and nuzzled my chest. I carefully and lovingly wrapped my arms around her as she sighed in content.
“Do you feel any better?” I asked as I gently placed the back of my hand against her forehead. I estimated her temperature to be around one hundred and one degrees. I began to worry at the thought, but can you blame me, I technically died because of the flu. I had every right to be worried, and even a little paranoid.
“Not really, but it’s okay.” She said as she closed her eyes and leaned against me.
“Alright, but do you want to tell me about that bad dream you had?”
“Um… I don’t know if I should.” She said as she bit her bottom lip, something she inherited from Bella.
“Renesmee, you can tell me anything, and I especially want to know about something that is hurting you,” I responded as I drew her closer to me and nuzzled her bronze locks.
“You wanted to kill me.” She said this as a statement, not a question, and if my heart were still beating, it would have stopped right then and there. She must have taken my silence as a confirmation of her fears, for she began to speak again.
“You wanted to kill me because I was hurting Momma, because I was killing her.” She whispered. I wanted to cry, and even though I could not, I was still repressing sobs as I stared down at my daughter. How could I tell her the truth that I had thought of her as a monster until only a few days before her birth? How could I tell her that I wanted her gone the moment I found out that Bella was pregnant? But to lie to her, that would be just as cruel. I sighed as I stared into her sorrow-filled eyes.
“Renesmee, come with me.” I said softly as I walked out of her room, the house, and into the forest. She snuggled into me farther to escape the freezing wind as I ran. The blanket I had grabbed on our way out was wrapped tightly around her small form. I stopped as I came to a familiar clearing, and walked out of the shadows and into the moonlit meadow. Her eyes lit up through her pain and sorrow, and for a moment she was at least slightly happy. I walked to the center of the meadow, and sat cross-legged in the snow-covered grass.
“Renesmee,” she looked up at me expectantly. “There is something you need to understand, and though it may be hard, I need you to try for me, okay.” I said to her as she silently nodded, the pain once again returning to her eyes.
“The world is full of strange and different things, but some people, most people in fact, refuse to except that. They believe what is supported by evidence, and reject those new and different things. When something different crosses a person’s path, they will usually automatically think that that new thing is bad. They will attempt to get rid of it, because in this world, different is scary. We believe in fact, and anything that goes against reason is either destroyed, or kept in isolation. This is how it has been for so long now, my love, and when I found out that your mother was going to have you, I acted just like those people. You were different, for we had never heard of such a thing as a half human, half-vampire child. It went against everything that I had been told, everything that I had come to believe. Therefore, I immediately wanted to get rid of you. Well, not you per say, but the idea that you were to be born at all. The idea frightened me, and I acted on impulse. As a creature of instinct, I misjudged you as a threat to my love, and my family, and for that Renesmee, I am sorry. If I had thought it through, then I would have never acted the way I had.” I concluded as I stared down at her. Then she spoke.
“Did Momma want me gone too, was she also afraid.” She asked. I laughed softly under my breath.
“No Renesmee, your mother was one of the people who welcomed new thing with open arms. She was someone who, instead of running away from things that she didn’t understand, thought of these new things as a challenge. She thrived to overcome these challenges, to see what they would bring no matter the consequences. And I must tell you, I am so glad that she did, for if she hadn’t,” I stared down at her, “I would have never known of the miracle that lay beneath all of the chaos, never known what true completeness felt like.” I whispered into her ear as I hugged her closer to me. I looked down into her eyes to see tears building up. I began to apologize, but she quickly silenced me by throwing her arms around my neck.
“I love you daddy.” She whispered
“I love you too my Renesmee, never doubt that,” I replied, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “Now lets get you home so you don’t get more sick.” As I ran home, I listened to the quiet heartbeat of my sleeping daughter. Completeness.