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Attack of the Stupid Thoughts: Edward's Mental Downfall

Summary:
Staged by the Cullens.(Excluding Esme, Carly, Ness, and Jake who mooches around the house with Ness so much he has started too be one.)


Notes:
You'd need to read Garden Terrors in order to fully understand the end. songplain thoughtsnoises


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 438   Review this Chapter

Bored to the end of my wits, I stalked up to the main house. As I walked in, I heard a thought, but it was a song.

Shoes, shoes, ohmyGod, shoes, shoes. Lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes. These shoes are $300, these shsoes are $300. Lets get 'um!

The song continued as Alice walked by me, carrying a bowl of roses. If it was anyone else, I'd be worried.

"Alice! Where's Bella?"

Dunno. Maybe playing World Of Warcraft with Jasper? Or Kill To Live 4 with Emmett?

"Not helpful." But regardless, I wandered up the stairs. I tried Emmett's room. When I opened the door, Emmett's thoughts we mingled with Bella's and what I heard was so loud I thought the were screaming it into a bullhorn.

Beep bloop gagagag plop fruzzer nunununun babababababa ooooohohohohohoho chikachikachowchow babababababfurrry tooool furrry toollllllllllll!

"AHHHHHHHHHH! My brain.!!" I quickly slammed the door and stumbled into the bathroom. Rosalie was taking a bath! But thankfully it was a bubble bath. LOTS OF BUBBLES. Her thoughts we lyrics.

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha?

I quickly jumped out of there and ended up in Alice's room. Jasper was on the computer.

I can't control myself because I don't know how, and they love me for it, honestly I'll be here for a while so give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. Give them all that they can drink and it'll never be enough so give them blood, blood, blood! Grab a glass because there's gonna be a flood!

"Argh! JASPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I rushed out of there and ran into Emmett.

Watch were ya goin' ya fool! I got that from Courage the Cowerdly Dog. Ironic-

"I don't want to hear about stupid ironic cartoons! I want my Bella!"

I want you too.

"OWWWWWWWW! THAT HURTS! quit it!ALL OF YOU!"

DODODODOODODODODODODDODOOD

Boys call you sexy(What's up, sexy) And you don't care what they say. See, everytime you turn around, they screamin' ya name.

Gonna push Elmo of a cliff. Stupid third person speaking puppet. Emmett hates Elmo sa Emmett's gonna knock him off a cliff.

Duh duh duh duh duh dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dud duhn.

Don't be afraid. . .for your blood! I want all that and your love.

Shoowshsowosodododododkakburlbado.

I ran out of the house and off of the edge of the cliff beside Esme's garden.

Crap.