Love is a War
Love is like war ~ easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget. They meet, they fall in love, they have to part. He promised to contact her, but never did, she promised to wait for him. A year later they have to live in the same residential community. She is hurt, broken. He wants her back. *lemons* - very OOC
1. Chapter 1: A New Start
Rating 5/5 Word Count 3651 Review this Chapter
Hi! My name is Caroline. This is my first fanfic and I hope you’ll like it!
I do not own Twilight! (I own the idea.) XD Not really. Everything belongs to the one and only Stephenie Meyer. (I’m not going to write it at the beginning of every chapter – so remember it!)
Chapter 1: A New Start
I woke up to a loud beeping beside my bed. I buried my head in my pillow and just tried to ignore whatever sat there in my room and annoyed the hell out of me. Why couldn’t I just sleep in? For once! What had I done to deserve such a punishment, to have to wake up every morning before the sun had even a chance to rise? Why? Was it because I didn’t go to church every Sunday? Please! Show me one teenager that does it in these days. Because I ignored my father’s orders and had a boyfriend he didn’t approve of? Hello? I’m 18!?! I’m of legal age but still a teenager!?! Teenagers are supposed to rebel against their parents and do stuff that are forbidden!
And exactly that thought brought me back to reality. Mike. I didn’t have time to waste, so I turned my attention to the buzzer that was standing on my nightstand and literally begging desperately – if not to be crushed against the nearest wall – for my attention. I reached out with my hand and turned it off. Mmmh… Silence… Maybe I should stay in bed…
An hour later I sat in the kitchen debating whether I should or not call Alice to pick me up for school today. Ok. Under normal circumstances that would be Mike’s job, since he was my boyfriend for almost six months now, but things lately have gotten complicated. I thought we were a happy couple. I knew he wasn’t the love of my life and that we would probably break up someday like almost every high-school couple did. But he saw things another way. He had told me about his plans. What he wanted to do after graduation, which was now only a few days away. Where he wanted to study and what he wanted to do with his life. And I would be part of it, if everything worked out as he wanted it to. That meant that I would have to cave in on my own dreams and follow his lead, and that was something I was definitely not going to do.
I thought of myself as an independent, strong woman. If I wanted to I could, no, I would make my dreams come true. And Mike wasn’t part of any of them. I knew what I had to do, what was the right thing to do; I had to break up with Mike. I had to tell him the truth and not play around with his heart. I just had to find a way to do it without hurting his feeling to much. And I was sure, after this, I would find my own Prince Charming.
I decided it would be best if I just rode with Mike to school today. He, as always, was late again.
“Hi Babe,” he said. I hadn’t even put one foot in his damn car and I already regretted like hell the decision I had made earlier today.
“Hi Mike,” I replied, my bad mood clearly recognizable in my voice. He seemed to not be aware of it though and leaned in and kissed me on my lips. I didn’t respond. I had to concentrate too hard not to choke. How did I decide again to date Mike and put myself through this torture? Oh, yeah. I looked for a way to prove to Charlie that I wasn’t his small girl anymore which couldn’t do anything by her own. Ugh! I am so stupid!
For the rest of the ride we just sat there, neither of us saying anything. I have to say, the way I liked Mike the most was when he was silent and didn’t jabber about shit no one except for him and some other football crazed teenage male monkeys where interested in. Mike tried of course to have a proper conversation but I just wasn’t in the mood. And that was good. I had to make him as upset with me as I could in this small amount of time I had left until graduation so that he would break up with me thankfully and I could leave this god forsaken wilderness called Forks for college.
During lunch I wanted to have a little bit peace, so I didn’t sit with Mike but with Alice. Alice was tiny, not even five feet tall with short raven black hair, always top styled and a little bit… crazy when it came to shopping. Um, sorry. That is the biggest understatement ever. She was a shopaholic! She literally turned into a maniac. If her father hadn’t been one of the best surgeons in the state of Washington, owned a private clinic and had inherited a huge amount of money from his father, she would probably have already had gone under or at least been sued by most credit card firms. Of course that wasn’t the case here and you could see Mary Alice Cullen as who she really was. She always has her Ferrari in the parking lot waiting for her, a new outfit everyday, and rows of boys which run after her. But she still was my best friend.
She understood me like no one else. She had been able to see past the walls I built to hold everyone at a distance after my parents had divorced and a certain person hurt me like hell. Even now, after so many years of friendship I still sometimes wonder how she was able to do that back then. I mean, we were only 13 and yet she was able to analyze my mental state like no one else. Even my shrink, whom I was forced to visit after a certain amount of breakdowns, wasn’t able to see past everything else and release my true self. She could. But what am I talking here about? I mean this is Alice, hello? She knew all my flaws and weak spots but was also the only one who could really acknowledge the real me. So that is why I so much liked being with her.
“So Bella…” she started, but quickly looked down at the plate of untouched food she had standing on the table in front of her.
“So what?” I pushed her. I knew that Alice was a bundle of energy and never really struggled for words. That meant that something was up in her mind. Something I would most certainly not like. Hell, I would surely hate it.
“So, I thought about graduation and us moving to Chicago…” she trailed off. Ok… What was there to be nervous about and why didn’t she want to tell me, or at least hesitated so long? In attempt to bring her to spill it I stabbed her lightly in her rips.
“Ow! No need to get violent! I was just thinking that maybe we shouldn’t rent our own apartment.” Her voice was only a small whisper at the end of the sentence.
And then it hit me. What this it mean ‘shouldn’t rent our own apartment’? She wanted to live on her own there?
The confusion must have been clearly written all over my face because she quickly tried to explain herself. “No, Bella! I didn’t mean it this way!”
Really? I’m too stupid to get it then. “Yeah? What do you mean then?”
“I thought that it would be better maybe if we would move to a dorm,” she looked up for a second only to look again at her plate. “Or,” she continued “not so much a dorm as an apartment, or… a house? Just not shared only between us. There will be other people too, you know. I mean something like a residential community and so…” she tried to explain.
“Residential community…” I repeated “Like girls and boys in one house with one kitchen, one bathroom and so on?”
She made a grimace. “Ewww! No, of course not. One bathroom? Are you silly? Everybody will have his own bathroom or two people will share one or so. But except for that you got that concept pretty well. That’s exactly what I meant! But, honestly, Bella, you don’t have to be afraid. You already know most of them. You know, it’ll be Emmett with his girlfriend Rosalie Hale and her twin-brother. I think his name was Jacques or Gaspar. Or was it Jasper? But anyway! You’ll really like them. You know Rose is pretty cool and just one year older than us. You already met her last summer! Oh! And, yes, how could I forget him? Edward will also be there! He’s my cousin. Edward Masen. Do you remember him? You should. You met him also last summer. You know, green eyes, bronze hair?” She shoot me a knowing look.
And then it hit me. I glanced to my left hand and looked at the ring at my ring finger. No, I didn’t get it after a proposal nor was I married. It was a promise ring. A promise ring from…
Edward. Edward Masen. The guy I met last summer, with the beautiful piercing green eyes that could bore a hole in your soul without him even noticing. And his bronze hair… all messed up like he just came out of bed. Every time I saw him I felt the urge to just run my hand through this mess. And there was something else beautiful about him Alice didn’t mention… His voice. So perfect and smooth like velvet that every time I heard him speak I got goose bumps. It had this beautiful ringing sound, a symphony for the ear of every human being.
How could I live in one house with him after all that had happened between us or rather what didn’t? That would mean we would meet every day for a year. Would I be able to take it? How would he react to our sudden reunion? I thought I would never meet him again after he promised to contact me a year ago but never did and now this? Suddenly a feeling of joy and fear overcome me at the same time. But what if he didn’t want to see me again after what had happened? What if he would be disgusted by what I’ve become? What if he rejected me? What if he didn’t want me anymore? That would explain so much… And then the joy I had felt just second ago turned into fear.
No! I couldn’t do it. I would not be able to survive it. I couldn’t even meet him, living in the same house would be impossible.
“Alice, I’m not sure if this is a good idea.” I tried to argue with her.
“Bella, I’m not asking you. I’m just informing you how things will be. I already signed everything.”
What the fuck?
“Hell, no Alice! How could you! No!” Now I was yelling and heads snapped in our direction. Under normal circumstances I would have blushed furiously but right now it fucking didn’t matter to me who could possibly hear me and what they would think of me.
“Hey! Don’t you dare start arguing with me!” She looked up again from her plate and glared directly in my eyes, her normally blue eyes almost black. How was that possible? Oh-Oh. Alice was cross with me. And then, as if somebody had pressed a button in her head, she instantly calmed down. She looked me over and then smiled slightly before continuing. “And you know it will do you some good. You should probably stay apart for a while,” she motioned with her eyes to somebody at the right side of me and I instantly knew she was right, maybe not with the whole accommodation thing, but at least on the Mike part.
“Ok. Maybe you are right-“ her squeal interrupted me mid-sentence, but I raised my finger to silence her. Then I continued with even more authority, “BUT!”, and her face fell. Yeah! Fucking, yeah! I screamed inside me. See Alice! You don’t ever get what you want! Maybe with everybody else, but not with me! “I have to sleep over this matter. And I’ll have to discuss it with Charlie. I can’t decide this on my own. He is going to pay the first rents until I find a job there.” Alice just smiled at me and I knew I had lost. Charlie would never say no to Alice.
Right then, before I could add another thought, the bell rang and Alice shot out of the cafeteria. I knew this meant she was planning something, again.
I didn’t talk to Mike for the rest of the day and headed home with Alice. I hoped he would get the hint.
The whole week passed by without further interruptions and without me really noticing anything. Alice had of course persuaded Charlie to let me live with her family. If I would have asked him, he surely would have said no. But of course, Alice gets what Alice wants, as always. And if what Alice wants is me living with her and her family in Chicago, then nobody dares deny her it. And Charlie wasn’t willing enough to suffer under her wrath to be the first exception of this rule we all know so well. Sometimes I wondered if this rule wasn’t part of the Civil Law Code. Who knows? I thought to myself. But let’s stop fucking around with each other. Charlie adored Alice. He would never deny her anything. And if he would have to sell me to spend time with her, he surely would.
So, here I was today, the day of graduation, and still with a boyfriend I didn’t really want to have. So what should I do? Tomorrow I would have to move to Chicago and live there with him. Something really had to be done. And it had to be done now.
“Bella! Congratulations, baby! You finished school!” My dad came running to my side.
“Yes, Charlie. I know.” I had stopped calling him Dad when he and Renee, my mom, got divorced. It just didn’t seem right to me.
“Aren’t you happy?”
“Oh, yes I am. It’s just… I don’t know. I… I… Ugh.” I couldn’t possibly tell him about Mike and surely not about Edward. We were going to live together from tomorrow on, and my father would never let me go if he knew. In the worst case scenario, which with my luck surely would be the one to happen, he would insist on moving with me to Chicago, and that was a chance I couldn’t take. I was moving to Chicago to be away from him. I want to be independent. I didn’t want him to follow me there.
“Bella, baby, if you aren’t sure about the thing with moving-“
Oh, fuck. NO! Fucking hell! That was not happening. I couldn’t allow him to do this. I knew exactly where this conversation was heading towards and I had to cut him off. “No Charlie. It’s alright. I’m sure about it and I won’t change my mind now.”
“But-“ and that’s when Mike chose to interrupt. To say I was thankful was an understatement. And trust me; I was not often happy to see Mike. Hell, I was never happy to see Mike. Ok, maybe in the beginning, he was my distraction after all… you know. Do I have to explain it?
“Hey babe!” he run to my side and hugged me with all his force. I thought he was really going to smash me right there and then.
“Hey, Mike…Fuck… Mike… Breathe… MIKE…” I tried to say Hey, Mike! Good that you are here already. It’s about fucking time! Fuck!?! What are you doing there? Why are you hugging me? No! Why in hell are you trying to smash my bones? Fuck off Mike! I need to breathe! You are a fucking asshole Mike!
“Oh, sorry babe. Are you ready to go?” There was no other times I was so happy for Mikes ability to speak and form a proper sentence.
I shot my father an apologetic look and smiled lightly. “Sure. Let’s go!”
Mike and I sat in his car, not saying a word to each other. I could see that he was really nervous about something. His hands were trembling while he clutched the wheel as if for his life’s sake. His jaw was also tightly clenched. That didn’t mean anything good. But I wasn’t going to start this conversation.
Finally he couldn’t stand the silence anymore and gave in. I grinned on the inside.
“Bella, we need to talk.” YES!!! That is exactly the thing I waited for! He would break up with me! Yes! Finally!
“I know Mike. Things… changed between us lately.” Why not help him and make it a little bit easier for him? The sooner he got over with it, the better for me.
“Yeah… Bella… I think that we should try something out.” YES!!! STRIKE!!! He wanted to spend a little bit time separated! He wanted us to go on a break. He just didn’t know that it would be a permanent one. Yet.
“Mh-hm.” I was sure he could see how happy I was… Maybe I should start to act a little bit shocked?
“You know, Bella… You are moving. Away… To Chicago… And Chicago isn’t exactly near Seattle.”
I just nodded.
“Yeah… So, here it comes. You see, Bella, I saw something in you, something I can’t really describe. I really like you, hell, I probably love you, and all I want to do is stay with you. But you showed me clearly in the past weeks that you have a life of your own and don’t want to depend on me. Ok. I can understand that. It’s just that I don’t want to lose you. And since we will be forced to stay physically apart for god knows how long I wanted to at least first feel you and be connected with you physically in every way possible.” He stopped the car before his house and I was now totally shocked.
What the fuck?
What was going on here? Two minutes ago I thought he was going to break up with me and now he told me that he wanted to be physically connected with me in every possible way? He wanted to have sex? With me?
“Mike-“ I started to protest, but as soon as I opened my mouth his lips crushed to mine and he silenced me.
He pulled me into his lap and kissed me even harder. Without losing touch with my lips, he got out of the car and I even didn’t have had the time to build a decent thought, we were already in his room and the door locked.
“Mike!” I tried to stop him again but he took that a turn on.
“Please, Mike,” I continued as he placed long trails of kisses on my jaw line. His hands started to go up and down my body. Suddenly I felt a hand on my breast. That’s when I lost it.
“Mike, STOP!” I screamed now. “You fucking bastard! You asshole! Stop! Why are you touching me?”
“Bella! What are you doing?”
“What I am doing? Have you taken leave of all your senses? You are grubbing me!”
“Bella! What are you talking about! I thought we cleared this already!”
“Cleared? What? Are you insane?”
“Bella come here.”
“No.” He took a step in my direction and I took one back, only to meet the wall.
“Bella,” he growled.
“Mike. We have already been over this once, you know that. I’m not going to do this with you.”
“Bella, I’m not asking you to anymore. I think I have the right to demand it! After all I was with you for almost a year! I waited! I did what you wanted me to! I loved you! And what did you do? Nothing! Not even once did you kiss me yourself, I have had to kiss you! EVERYTIME! Are you mentally sick, Bella? I took pity on you and stayed with you! I wanted to try to help you! I wanted to be with you! I was ready to give you everything and you? Not even a reward as small as this?” he shouted.
Tears started rolling down my face.
“Mike. It’s over.”
“No. It’s not. Not until I am ready to be through with you!”
“NO Mike! It IS over!” I screamed. Then my knee went straight to his gut and I left the room as quick as I could.
As I exited his house a wave of pure satisfaction and pride overcame me. Ok, maybe the whole thing didn’t proceed the way I wanted it to, but what mattered now was the fact that I got rid of Mike. And I didn’t even felt guilty. Hell I didn’t even felt sorry for him.
I decided to walk home, since it wasn’t so far. I mean, how long can it take to get from one side of the town to the other if she has a population of 3120 people? But this fact would soon change.
Tomorrow, I would be in Chicago. Tomorrow my life would start.
Caroline: *GASPING* Can’t anymore… Too much… Too fast… Need break…
Theodora (Sister): *scowling* Aha… Sure… What have you been doing for the last hour?
Caroline: *feeling offended* Working? Hard?
Theodora: Yeah, sure. That story you wrote is as stupid as it can get!
Caroline: *now angry* No way! Take that back!
Theodora: Never! *starts running away*
Caroline: *starts running after her* You will bitterly regret that one sis! *stops* Hey you! *turns to reader* Show me you like me and my story and prove her wrong! Review! And PLEASE don’t give her more reasons to laugh at me!
Theodora: *coming back* Yeah, like that is possible! *starts laughing* 16? English as your fourth language and writing stories? Please!
Caroline: *Turns to readers with wet eyes* PLEASE? *tears dropping*
- Chapter 1: A New Start
- Chapter 2: Old Memories and First Impressions
- Chapter 3: For Her
- Chapter 4: (Un)Predictable Surprises
- Chapter 5: The Way to Paradise is Steep
- Chapter 6: Why Don't You?
- Chapter 7: Surprises and Realizations
- Chapter 8: Interior Monologue and Misunderstandings
- Chapter 9: Plans and Games
- Chapter 10: Need (part 1)
- Chapter 11: Need (part 2)
- Chapter 12: I Can't Lose You
- Chapter 13: First Steps
- Chapter 14: Dares
- Chapter 15: Dreams and Fears
- Chapter 16: Texts (Part 1)
1 2 3 4 5
- 03 Jul 09
- 04 Aug 10
- In Progress