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Love is a War

Summary:
Love is like war ~ easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget. They meet, they fall in love, they have to part. He promised to contact her, but never did, she promised to wait for him. A year later they have to live in the same residential community. She is hurt, broken. He wants her back. *lemons* - very OOC BannerFans.com


Notes:


3. Chapter 3: For Her

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3950   Review this Chapter

A/N

Theodora: *enthusiastic* Yay! Edward is here!

Caroline: *shocked* I thought you didn’t like my story!?!

Theodora: No, I don’t. But I still love Edward *glassy eyes*

Caroline: *coughs* You will wish he would have stayed where he was *coughs*

Theodora: *turning to sister - shocked* What is that supposed to mean?

Caroline: *playing one on innocent* Nothing. Just read it. But don’t hate me after you know.

Theodora: Too late. *sticks her tongue out*

Caroline: *grins*

Here comes chapter three!

~*~

Chapter 3: For Her

EPOV

The time at my parent’s house was almostunbearable. Almost, because living at your parent’s didn’t exactly allow you to stay out all night and go fuck some random chick without them noticing later and being disappointed. It was bearable though, because I had Jasper with me, my closest buddy.

He and his sister Rosalie Hale were living with me and my cousin Emmett in one house. Well, his sister was dating Emmett, and that’s how we actually met.

Rosalie was a hot chick, and thoughI had fucked most of the whole female population of Chicago’s University, she was one of the girls who never let me touch her. Smart girl. First it bugged me. God, it infuriated me. I was the hottest guy on campus and she the hottest chick. Don’t you think we should screw each other on a frequent basis? But with Emmett as her boyfriend… Yeah… You know. I am over it now. I kept telling myself. Yeah, sure buddy. Like this is possible. The girl wounded your pride! I had to get back at her.

Sometime last week, my cousin Alice, Emmett’s two years younger sister, was going to also move in, together with Bella. I hadn’t seen her for…one year? Whatever. It didn’t really matter. The important thing was Bella. My Bella… STOP! I couldn’t think of her right now. It was wrong and I knew it. I had to stop claiming her as mine. She wasn’t now and had never really been. She deserved more than a man-whore, as every guy kept calling me, and I had to forget her. I had to get over the girl who stole my heart. I had to learn to live without it. God- I didn’t even knew I had one until she came in my life one year ago and just ripped it out of my chest… No Edward! This is wrong! Stop thinking about her! Come back to reality, dude!

Okay… So here we were… Jasper and I were trying to sneak out of the house.

Well, not that we couldn’t tell my parents that we were going out… I thought they knew anyway that we were up to something, so why hide it? But Jasper thought that after showing up at the house today with the same rumpled clothes we were wearing yesterday, a huge hangover and without giving them any explanation to this shit, we would have to hear a lecture about proper behavior if they registered it happening again. But hey! I was a twenty-year-old good-looking guy, with a best friend, who was legally able to buy alcohol. Not that I wouldn’t drink anyway, but with Jaspers age I could calm my parents at least a little bid down. God, they were such control-freaks. Even now. Hey! I am old enough to make decisions on my own! I don’t need them babying me. Mmh, maybe I should tattoo it on my forehead so that they will be reminded by it every time they see me…

“Edward! Let’s climb out the window,” Jasper said as he bent over the window almost falling out. God, he behaved like a fifteen year old horny male teenager.

“Dude! Look at you! Don’t you think they would wake up if you would fall down from there?” I hissed back at him. What the fuck was he thinking, pulling stunts like this in the middle of the night?

“Come on Eddie! It’s not like they don’t know we are doing it!” He knew I hated to be called Eddie, but he still did.

“That’s exactly my point, Jasper. I’ve been above sneaking out since...let’s say FOREVER and I am not going to start it now! They know anyway that we are going out.”

Jasper rolled his eyes.

“Fuck you Jasper!”

“Awww! Somebody afraid to get caught by mommy and daddy while sneaking out of his room?” he said and now was my turn to roll my eyes at him. Did he really think that he could provoke me that easily?

“No, Jasper. I haven’t fallen to your level yet,” I put up resistance.

“Sure, Eddie,” he said with a laugh.

“Whatever, Jazz. Anyway… why don’t we just take the door?” I asked him again pointing to the door. Was it that difficult for him to behave appropriate for his age? He couldn’t be so dumb and believe that they would catch us if we would use the door. And if they did, then what? They knew anyway that we were going to go out. Okay we would have to endure some hours of them giving us a real dressing-down. But who cares? Just screw them like I did for the last twenty years!

Jasper just raised his eyebrows at me.

“You know what buddy,” I continued, “you can take the window, I’ll use the door. See you later at the club!” And with that I left the room.

He wants to play monkey? Ok, let him. It’s not me who will regret it.

So, here I was, two hours later with a blond lass on my lap in some weird dance club. She said something about her name being Laura or Lauren? Who cared? She was a nice fuck and that was all that mattered right now.

I saw Jasper entering the room with another girl… brown hair? I thought he was more into easy fuckable, sexy, tall blonds… Whatever. Who cares?

“Hey Edward,” the brunette said.

I just raised an eyebrow. Where did she know me from? But then again… Who didn’t know me?

“I’m Jessica. Stanley.” She introduced herself emphasizing her surname. Should this name say something to me? Not likely.

Still, she looked kinda cute. Mhh, what would Jasper think about a threesome? I would have to bring it up sometime later in a discussion.

“Er, yeah,” was my response.

The girls knew that I wasn’t really talkative. They knew I was just looking for some barfly to spend a nice night and then would turn my back to them and the next night look out for another one. Most times… There were some girls I spent more than just one night with. But they were another story. Holy Shit… A really long story…

I saw in Jasper’s expression that he had already had his fair share of fun for tonight, so I decided that it was time for me to get some release.

I looked at Laura, or Lauren, or whatever the fuck her name was, I didn’t care, and motioned with my head to her that it was time for us to go get things done.

I could see how her eyes turned darker, just as I looked at her.

She stood up, took my hand, told Jessica goodbye and dragged me with her to one of the restrooms.

The door wasn’t closed for more than a second and I could already feel her all over me. She had pulled my shirt up and was sucking at my nipples. I was pressed hard against the door. You would think this should be hot… It wasn’t. Imagine a girl all over you. You have a hot as a fuck body and give it to her, and what does she do? She fucking sucks on your nipples! Who is the chick here? I should be sucking on hers!

HEY! Not so fast! I thought. I am the one to get his release not you! Stupid fucking bitch!

I wrapped my arms around her and put her on the sink. She stopped moving and looked me in the eyes. I pulled her skirt up, though it was so short I didn’t really need to, and grabbed her lace thong pulling it down. Soon after that she was frantically tagging on the button of my pants. I shoved her hands away and unbuttoned them myself. She spread her legs wide open and I shoved myself into her.

I didn’t dare to look at her face. I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to continue. I knew that I would be disappointed by the face I would see. It wouldn’t be the one I wanted it to be. It wouldn’t be Bella’s. So I just continued thrusting myself into her, hoping that I would get release soon and could just clean myself a little bit up, go home and continue living in my misery.

Truthful, just some thrusts later and after earning some moans and screams that should be my name, I finally rode out my orgasm and left. Lauren had told me her name again after we were finished, while still panting like an old two hundred pounds weighing lady who just had to climb five stories. I kind of wanted to laugh my ass off at the sight of her, but couldn’t really bring myself to. It didn’t seem right. Damn morals. Out of all that existed, I had to remember this one, the one which spoils the party.

Jasper was still with the brunette at a table, talking to her. What was there to talk about? I couldn’t understand him, so I just left.

The next morning was pretty much the same as every other spent at my parent’s house, with one exception. It was the last one. In just a few hours we would be on a plane back to Chicago.

Jasper and I had already packed our things and decided to leave a little early so that we could pick up some girls at the airport. We knew it was the last time we could do something like that without having to face the chicks every day at school after that.

We quickly said our goodbyes to my parents and headed out.

At the airport, I enjoyed myself in every possible way. Jasper didn’t. He just went to Starbucks and waited for me.

You are asking me why?

I have no fucking idea.

“Edward,” Jasper started as soon as we were seated on the plane, “I think we should change our tactic.”

“Hmm?” I didn’t really pay attention to anything he was saying.

“I think we should stop playing around with random girls.” What the fuck? I must be sleeping.

“Repeat that!” I ordered. If I was right, then that was the explanation I was looking for before. But that was the last thing I would have expected.

“I know you heard me Edward,” he simply said, clearly refusing to repeat what he previously had said. Was he fucking around with me? He was the master, I the student! He was the one who taught me that lifestyle and now he wanted to change his tactic and stop screwing every girl in the radius of 20 miles? He had to be fucking kidding me.

“Are you trying to be funny, dude?” I just couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“No, Edward, I’m serious.”

I burst out laughing. Could you believe this? No way! I thought to myself.

He shot me a warning look.

“And what brought on that sudden change of mind, you sick fuck?” I asked still giggling like a lunatic and not totally sure if he was fucking around with me and just trying to piss me off.

“Yesterday. At the bar. The girl I was with. Jessica. And I am not the sick fuck here, Edward. Next time before you speak look in the mirror first.” Stop the world, I want to dismount!

My brows furrowed at his words. What had she got to do with all of this?

“Edward, you know that she knew you?” This wasn’t getting anywhere.

“Yeah, I figured out this much out. She knew my name, didn’t she? But I thought you told her.”

Jasper shook his head.

“No, I didn’t. She knew you on her own. She told me you were visiting the same high-school and even shared most of the classes for four years.”

“Stop fucking around with me, Jasper. There is no way that she was one of the girls there. I know them. I screwed them.”

“Oh, yes. There is. She was one of them. And you know what Edward? That’s exactly my point! That attitude of yours made me change my mind and think about our actions.”

Okay… Now it was too much for me. I needed a break, a big one. Anyone around who would like to distract me? What about you hot blond air hostess there?

Jasper must have seen the confused and slightly amused look on my face because he continued.

“I talked to her, Edward, and I saw that girls aren’t just some whores you fuck and then throw away. They actually are human beings and have a mind of their own.”

Why was he telling me all this? Didn’t he know that I knew that? I knew that there were beautiful smart girls out there, just like Bella. How could he accuse me of not thinking this way? But then again, had I ever shown him the other side of me? No. The only one that knew of my other side, the real me not the fucked up me, that I was trying to hide my broken personality and feelings for Bella with, were my parents and Emmett, who also started to doubt this side now, Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Bella. Bella, whom I should stop thinking about.

“So, where does this put us?” I asked him finally.

“I am done. I am out of it Edward. I think it’s time for me to find something more. I think you should do just the same and look for the one that is going to capture all your thoughts and steal your heart.” When did Jasper become so sentimental?

If only he knew. If he just would know, that this had already happened, that there was no heart to be stolen anymore and no thoughts free and pure enough to be captured. If he just knew…

We landed in Chicago, quickly picked up our luggage and walked to the main exit to see Alice waiting for us. Bella wasn’t there and my smile, I hadn’t even realized I was wearing until this moment, fell. Why would she? I laughed bitterly to myself. After all I had done, why would she be here waiting for me?

I opened my arms to welcome Alice just like the last time I saw her but she didn’t run to me. She run right beside me and stopped right in front of Jasper. Well, if that wasn’t strange… She looked like she hadn’t even noticed me. And Jasper… well, he was like petrified. He just stared at her, his mouth hanging open. Was that saliva dripping down his chin?

Well, if that wasn’t interesting...

They stood there, as if they were all by themselves and just stared into each other’s eyes, until Alice spoke up. “Hi. I’m Alice Brandon. You have to be Jasper. Well. I think I have waited long enough for you.” With that she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him… passionately? Gross! After a few minutes and several clearings of my throat, she ended the kiss and looked again into his eyes. “Well,” she continued, “what’s your surname?” she asked as if nothing unnatural had happened.

Jasper got out of his stare stage and a huge grin broke across his face. “Whitlock,” he answered.

“Good. So, would you prefer the kids to be named Brandon-Whitlock or just Whitlock?” Alice asked. Was she serious? Okay. This small crazy bundle of energy had turned into a total psycho.

“Will you take my name?” Jasper asked back. Had he taken leave of his senses?

Wait! Was there in his words a hidden proposal?

“Yep,” Alice simply answered. I thought I would faint.

“Well, then it’ll be only Whitlock,” he answered and kissed her again.

As they broke apart I couldn’t hold my question back. “Are you two now engaged? Are you serious? Jasper you got to be fucking kidding me! First, that stupid conversation on the plane, and now this? What kind of sick joke is this! Don’t you dare go and screw my cousin! And Alice! You are mentally all right, right? You always were crazy, but that is just too much! Have uncle Carlisle and aunt Esme thought about committing you yet? Maybe I should phone them… But anyway! You can’t possibly decide to marry him, after only, what, five seconds?”

“Emm, actually Edward, I can. I am eighteen. Yes, we are now engaged. Jealous? And, oh, hello to you, too, cousin.”

“Hey! Don’t you blame me now! I was the one with the opened arms awaiting you! And you just went to this sick excuse of a man there! Alice! Now stop fucking around with me! Be serious for one second. You can’t possibly really think about marrying him!” I pointed with my hands to Jasper, who was now grinning, happy fool that he was. “You don’t know what he has done! You don’t know him! Do you know what he was doing some hours ago? You can’t possibly decide to marry him, just because you saw him and liked his… I don’t know what there is on him you could possibly like!”

“Hey! Back off Edward! Just get lost! I told you I was going to change!” Jasper said and Alice flung herself in his arms again. He carried her to her car and left me standing in front of the entrance looking like some crazy ass. I was just standing there and looking after them.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. My small eighteen-year-old cousin was getting married to my twenty-one-year-old best buddy, after they knew each other for like five seconds. I always knew that there was actually something wrong with Alice and Jasper was also kind of weird, but this was too much for me to take in at once. I would have to go drink it out off my system before I got home to face them again.

Before going home I headed to a bar near the airport. I was thinking whether I should pick some chick up and go with her home or just go home and see Bella. I knew she wouldn’t be there. I had a feeling. But then again, what if I did go home and see her? Like this would change anything. God, it would probably make things even more complicated. I had to do something to make her stay distant with me. I knew she had feelings for me. Maybe they weren’t as deep as mine for her, but they were there. I was able to see them in her eyes the time we were together, even as we argued all the time. But maybe she had moved on? I mean, she was beautiful, sexy, smart, gorgeous, divine, exquisite… simply pure perfection. I was sure the guys were forming lines behind her home at Forks. So why would she stick with me? I had to make the break clean, for her and for me. If she saw me with someone else, she would get the message. And I would get to see her reaction. The thought alone of hurting Bella this way, caused me pain, but I knew I had to do this. It would be better for her if we kept a distance.

I wouldn’t have to do much to keep her away from me. I would just show her what I had become.

After an hour, I already had picked my victim. It was a girl named Victoria. She kept telling me that… Was she dull or something? Like I would forget that. Okay yes. I probably would the moment I got what I wanted. But hey, I’m going to do that anyway, so why torture me now? Anyway. She looked pretty amazing in her short skirt and high boots. Downright fuckable, so I decided that this one would be it.

I turned her on and then just left her waiting, teasing her. I knew that this was pushing her nerves and that if I continued this way she was probably going to be begging me to fuck her silly by the end of the next hour. So I decided it was time.

We got out of the club together and I ordered a taxi. We got into it and headed straight to my house. Well, now it was Alice’s, Emmett’s, Rosalie’s, Jasper’s, Bella’s, whom I really shouldn’t think of, and my house. But hey, who cares?

I opened the door of the cab for her and helped her out. Gentlemen-like, I told myself. At least a way to make it up to her for what was going to happen later tonight...

However Victoria had other thoughts. For her it seemed it couldn’t go fast enough. And who was I to argue? She threw her arms around me and kissed me hard on my lips. I half carried half pulled her to the door and opened it with one hand.

Then a thought shot through my mind.

I had NEVER brought a chick home with me before. It just didn’t seem right to me.

A mission is a mission. And a man has to do, what a man has to do! Even if he is hurting the ones he loves by doing so. If they were hurting. I kept telling myself.

Regardless I couldn’t help but already feel guilty for what I was going to do. I didn’t want to. I had to. It was for her best.

I noticed the lights were off. Good, I thought to myself as I lightly relaxed. Maybe she would be asleep and I could get through it unnoticed.

But then I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

Fuck! I thought and suddenly wasn’t all that sure anymore if this was what I wanted to do. What if this was Bella? What if she saw me with her? I had promised her to –

I never got the chance to complete my thought.

The lights suddenly switched on and I heard a gasp coming from the doorway followed by a light sob.

Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

I shoved Victoria off of me and she fell to the floor. She said something but I didn’t pay attention to her anymore. There was only one person in this room for me now.

Bella was still standing there in the doorway. She wasn’t moving. She just stood there and watched me. Then a tear fell down her pink cheek. A tear I caused. I wanted to die. Now.

I had to tell myself this was for her best. Yeah, causing the one you love pain is for her best! Asshole! I kicked my ass mentally.

Right in front of me stood the cutest, most beautiful, innocent, angelic, magnificent, stunning, breath-taking creature ever - Crying. Because of me. I fucking hated myself right in this moment.

I remembered a quote I recently read ‘What if you could go back in time, and could take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?’

What wouldn’t I do right now, to be able to go back in time…

I was such a fucked up prick.

~*~

A/N:

Theodora: O.O

Caroline: Like I said…

Theodora: O.O

Caroline: Yeah, I know. Congratulations! You are not the only one to hate me now.

Theodora: O.O

Caroline: Are you alright?

Theodora: *snaps back to reality* Where is the baseball bat?

Caroline: *laughs mischievously* I hid it, while you were reading.

Theodora: *growls* Doesn’t matter. One of the readers will lend me one to hit you, *turns to readers* won’t you?

Caroline: *turns to reader shocked* Don’t hate me guys! Don’t hate me!

Reader: *growls*

Caroline: O.O It’ll get better! I promise!

Theodora: *scowls* Better soon!

Caroline: *starts running towards bathroom* We’ll see! *get’s in the room* Depends on the reviews! *locks door behind* Until then I’ll be hiding here…

Theodora: *sighs*