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Love is a War

Summary:
Love is like war ~ easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget. They meet, they fall in love, they have to part. He promised to contact her, but never did, she promised to wait for him. A year later they have to live in the same residential community. She is hurt, broken. He wants her back. *lemons* - very OOC BannerFans.com


Notes:


4. Chapter 4: (Un)Predictable Surprises

Rating 5/5   Word Count 5194   Review this Chapter

A/N:

Sorry it took me so long. I had my first finals last week. And guess what it was! Ancient Greek... ugh

Theodora: Yes, keep talking. Like anybody is paying attention...

Caroline: *turns to sis* Really encouraging, you know?

*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER* (Don't continue reading this conversation if you don't want to get a hint about what the fifth chapter is about)

Theodora: Thanks for your offer. Can I use it now? - Although, after reading Chapter 5 I don't think I need it anymore. - But then again... Her sarcasm is reason enough. Where is the baseball bat?

Caroline: Hey! You are cruel! And don't spoil the surprise!

Theodora: I am not.

Caroline: Yes, you are! Now I will have to tell everybody about the fifth chapter! You think it is right if you are the only one getting to read it earlier?

Theodora: Yeah? I am the one that has to endure you every day. Except from that I am not the only one to read it earlier - you have betas. Have you forgotten aboout that? Anyway! Remember! I don't want to; You force me to.

Caroline: Yeah... Thanks again to my Betas. But I don't think I force you to. You were crying all day long my ears full with that 'I want them to get together! Do something!' and 'Your story is total shit. Not sweeping at all like you promised. Do something about it! Get them together!' And when you finaly read the next chapter you were all smiley. I think I am going to start liking my little sister.

Theodora: Aha. Only 14 years too late.

Caroline: What is that supposed to mean?

Theodora: *sighs* Nothing. Everything is all right, oh you glorious sister of mine. But could you PLEASE already SHUT UP and let the people read the story?

PS: You can find the link to the ring on my profile on www . fanfiction . net .

~*~

Chapter 4: (Un)Predictable Surprises

BPOV

The week had passed by quicker than I thought possible. Alice and Rosalie, whom I was close friends with now, occupied all my daytime dragging me shopping to Chicago’s most exquisite boutiques, where I couldn’t really afford anything. So most of the time it ended up with them sandbagging me into letting them buy me things I wouldn’t ever have bought on my own and forcing me to wear them. Because the fact of Fuckward moving back was inevitable, I used the night to get familiar with the idea of him and me living underneath the same roof.

I looked for different excuses to move out or at least hide somewhere, so that I could spend as much time apart from him as possible, but I couldn’t come up with anything that sounded at least halfway believable. Hell, in the end I even considered not only transferring to another college, but dropping it completely. Of course pixie Alice convinced me otherwise. Hell, was she persuasive.

But I knew that I would have to meet him sooner or later. Later I hope. Please let it be later! The not so brave side of me kept repeating. But I knew that even if not here and now our paths would cross someday again, and then it would probably be even more tense.

No, I knew that I had to meet him and get it over with. It would be easier for both of us. Or at least for me. Why should this be difficult for him? He had rejected me once before. He had chosen to stay away. He had surely forgotten me and moved on. After all, he was a sick fuck who couldn’t even work up the courage to call me and send me packing.

It will be awkward. I thought to myself again. Fuckward would be here today. He was going to come home…his home…where I would be.

What will he do? How will he react? Will he be happy?

I doubted that.

He didn’t like me even enough to phone me one last time, as he had promised. So why should he? Why should he be happy to see me again?

But then again, he had given up his room for me, his precious room. He had moved out of it for me. Even though last summer he kept telling me that there was no soul on this planet that was allowed to ever enter his room. It was his sanctuary. It was his. A place where he would be alone and unbothered. Even Alice, who had visited him often before the incident one year ago, had told me that she never had entered his room. EVER. ANY of his rooms, whether it in his parent’s house or not. She was not allowed to. Was that supposed to mean something? Surely not.

So why?

I couldn’t come up with an explanation so I decided to occupy myself with other things. But my thoughts quickly headed back to Fuckward.

Even though I knew he would reject me, I still wanted to welcome him home. To show him, that even after everything that had happened, or rather what had not happened, we could work this out and become friends. At least I hoped so. I really missed his company and I would do everything in my might to just be able to stay with him.

I had to come up with something.

As I decided this, somebody knocked on my door.

“Bella?” it was Pixie and her voice had a worried tone to it.

She knocked again, this time a little louder. It was obvious she was impatient. I wanted to scream FUCK OFF ALREADY! But then another thought crossed my mind.

I was shocked. Since when did Alice knock on doors? For her they were nonexistent. And why did her voice hold this worried tone? Something was up.

“Yes, Alice. Come in.”

She slowly opened the door, came in, closed it behind her and even locked it. Okay, something was very wrong with this situation.

“Bella, can I talk to you?”

“Will my answer to your question influence your deed in the slightest?” I asked suspiciously.

“No, not really,” she simply stated.

Oh, like I wasn’t prepared for this one. It’s Alice we are talking about!

“Then go along.” Please! Let it be over soon! I don’t fucking want to hear her out right now. Can’t she see I have other things to do?

She came over, sat at the edge of my bed and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Bella, I want you to tell me what happened between Edward and you last summer. And do not deny it. Everybody knows that there was something between you two. We just don’t know what exactly. And that is what you are going to tell me now,” She said scowling.

What the fuck? Was she seriously asking me what I think she was? How did she know? How did anybody know? That was a bad dream. If she knew, then why-

“Bella!” she half screamed to remind me that I had to actually answer her, even if I didn’t want to.

“What do you mean, Alice? Me and…” I stopped for a moment. Did I really want to say his name aloud? Of fucking course not! It hurt too much. I had avoided this name for six months, as long as I decided to date Mike. But what way was there to avoid it now with his cousin sitting in front of me? “Edward?”I finally said.

I tried to play it off. Maybe she would simply fuck off if I pretended to be innocent and had no idea of what she was talking about?

“You know exactly what I mean! Don’t you dare lie to me. You are very bad at it and you know that!” Of course the small pixie had a bigger mouth and observation abilities than the average person of her height would have.

“No, Alice. I don’t.” I really wasn’t in any mood to talk with her about it. I just wanted to be alone in my room and think about something to welcome Fuckward and clear things. So why the hell did she have to disturb me? I should never have let her in when she knocked on the door. I had been suspicious enough in that moment.

“The hell you don’t! Tell me or I won’t be able to help you!” Help me? How could she help me? By putting me through a living hell by telling her? That would only cause me more pain. She was his fucking cousin! So how did she intend to help me?

“Alice, you can’t help me,” I simply stated.

There was a pregnant silence and I knew that if I wouldn’t start talking she would just sit there on the edge of my bed for God knows how long. Knowing her, it would probably last ages.

“Ok. Where did you hear this?” I gave in.

“I didn’t need to hear it. Nobody needed to.” Okay, so that was news to me.

I scowled slightly but I was verging on tears.

“Bella, you two were obvious. Every time he came around your face lit up and you just glowed. And it was not only you who was noticeable. The look Edward gave you was priceless. So, tell me Bella, What happened?”

I could feel how my eyes now begun to sting. She knew. Probably everybody knew. We were so obvious…

“Bella…” she said with a pleading voice trying to get me to spill.

She didn’t have any real chance though. Tears started rolling down my face, and as the good friend she was, she tried to comfort me.

She came over to my side of the bed and pulled me in a hug.

“Shh, Bella. It’ll be ok. We’ll work this one out. You’ll see,” she tried to soothe me while I sobbed into her Chanel blouse. How the hell could we work this out? What was she thinking?

Some minutes later I was able to catch my breath. I looked up and saw the frisking wet spot my tears had left on her clothing. I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Alice loved her clothes, they were like her babies…even though she never wore them twice. And she let me ruin it with my tears just like this. If it were anybody else she would have torn my head off by now. She really was a great friend. Even if what she did right now, caused me pain.

“Alice, I’m sorry.” I said and started crying again. But this time Alice didn’t just stand by and waited for me to cry my ass off. She actually scowled at me.

“Bella, if you don’t tell me now, then I promise you things only will get worse. I will personally arrange that!” she warned me.

“I know. It’s just… Alice… it hurts so much,” I tried to show her how difficult it was for me, how much it hurt me, but she still wasn’t ready to change her mind and let it go. She simply sat there and waited for me to start describing everything what had happened between us. Did I tell you she was a caring friend? Sorry. I was totally wrong. She is a total bitch.

“Bella, don’t lie to yourself.”

“Alice,” I tried to argue but she just wouldn’t fuck off.

“No, Bella. Don’t you “Alice me now. I know what you are thinking and even if you would prefer me to fuck off, you are going to tell me everything! You know that, so don’t keep me waiting I have stuff to do.” Now she had a very pissed look on her face and I knew better than to continue my little game here.

I started to tell her everything.

How I felt when we met, about our arguments and make out sessions. But I left the part where our ways parted out. It wasn’t something I was willing to share right now. Alice had other plans of course.

“Bella, how exactly was that? You started wearing this ring one year ago, on the day we parted, and you never took it off. You never really told me anything about it. Only that it was really important and precious to you, so I never asked for more. It has something to do with Edward, doesn’t it?” Wow, she really did notice everything. Pixie be damned!

“The ring?”

“The one on your ring finger. Left hand.” Yeah, of course she had noticed. All my hopes had left by now.

“This ring…” I trailed off. What kind of friend is she? Seeing me in my worst, hurt and in pain and stabbing me in the open wound?

A caring friend. Great. My inner voice was taking her side now. Isn’t there anybody out there who will stand by me?

“Bella, tell me.” She used her Alice-authority.

“Edward.” I paused. It hurt too much to say his name aloud. Until now I spoke about him as “he”. “He gave me the ring when we parted.”

“And you are still wearing it?”

“Yes, as you can see.”

“But why, after he hurt you so much?”

“Because I promised him…”

…FLASHBACK…

It was the best summer of my life.

We were sitting together at the bonfire. The last day before we had to part again. We tried to spend every minute together and decided to party until twilight to make this summer vacation unforgettable for one more reason.

Though I liked the idea first and was really excited about spending some more quality time with my friends, they were only friends. Edward was more, he was more important and this was probably the last night we would spend together in a long time.

This thought alone made my heart cringe and I knew that the feelings I had for him weren’t only the one teenagers had for their crush. It was more. Much more. And I hated it.

I loved Edward. Of that much I was sure. But I hated myself for doing so.

Yes, we had our make out sessions.

Yes, he has often told me that I look beautiful and stuff like that.

But he is older, has more experience. He is unique, handsome, smart, brilliant, and talented. I on the other hand am plain and clumsy.

What could he possibly see in me? Why would he love me?

There was no way. And it hurt like hell. And I hated myself for falling for him when I knew that there was no hope for us. In just a few hours we would each go our own ways. He would move on and I would stay behind, broken. I knew that. It was so predictable.

“Bella.” A sweet voice called from behind. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make my heart beat a hundred times faster. I thought it was going to rip its way out of my chest.

I turned to his direction.

“Yes?” He nodded to the forest and I knew what he meant.

I stood up and told Alice I would come back in a while. She didn’t ask further.

I walked into the forest to a meadow where we always went together when we wanted our privacy. It was beautiful. A circle perfect as if it had be drawn with a pair of compasses. It was surrounded by beautiful high trees and the lawn was full of flowers. It was breathtaking.

I stood there and watched the cloud’s shadows when suddenly a pair of strong arms hugged me from behind. I recognized them immediately.

He started to kiss my neck and I could feel the electricity driving through my body. The feeling was so strong that I thought my knees were going to give out. His hands slowly relaxed the death-grip they had me in and caressed my stomach slowly. A cool chill run all over me.

Slowly I moved my head to the side and our lips met. It was a slow but passionate kiss. I tried to put all my feelings I had for him in it. Slowly he turned my whole body so that it faced his and wrapped his hands again around my waist. I could feel how the corners of his lips turned lightly up and I knew that right now he must have a very smug expression on his face. Suddenly I felt a tug and we fell to the ground. We continued kissing for some minutes and then just laid together trying to catch our breath.

“Bella,” god how I loved it when he said my name.

“Yes, Edward,” I almost moaned. I could feel his body tense beside me.

“I want to give you something.”

“You don’t need to Edward. I already have everything I want.” And that was true. Maybe I didn’t have money and a complete family but I had my dad, my mom and her husband, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward. So what else could I probably need?

“I know. Me too. But I want to give it to you,” he said and released me completely.

He slowly stood up and took something out of his pocket. He lied back to my side and pulled me on top of him.

“Here,” he said and handed me the box, “open it.”

I did as he told me to and was speechless. There was a ring in it. It was silver and had two hearts on it, which were connected by their tip. One side of each heart was blazoned by diamonds.

“Edward. No. I can’t take it. It is too much.”

“No, Bella. It is not,” he said and kissed my cheek.

“Bella, I know that we haven’t known each other for long, we are too young for something like this and I have some problems I have to deal with first, so I don’t ask you to marry me.” I thought I heard a silent ‘yet’ here, but I wasn’t sure. The whole situation was just too overwhelming. “I promise though, that my feelings for you are more than you could probably understand or even imagine. I know I am not perfect and I have some big problems and issues I have to deal with back home. But I want you to wear this ring. I want you to have something to remind you of me when we are apart and I promise you that I’ll come back to you. Bella, I love you. I know it is much to ask, but will you wait for me?”

Tears were running down my face. Not even in my keenest dreams would I have ever seen something like this happening.

“Edward, I… I…” I couldn’t say anything, I was sobbing so hard.

Suddenly his face changed. He wasn’t happy anymore. He was angry. He started to shove me away from him and I understood what had happened. He fucking thought that I was going to reject him because I didn’t answer him right away. What a fucking prick! But it was my fucking prick, who I loved like hell, even with his little mood swings.

I gathered myself together and said “Impatient much?” I forced myself on him and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. In the same time I took the ring and placed it on my finger. We parted and I looked into his sad eyes, which were directed to the ground.

“Edward,” I said so he looked up at my face. I lifted my hand and showed it to him. His face lit up and he kissed me again.

“I love you, Edward. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you and I promise to continue loving you even if we are apart. I promise you to wear this ring as a symbol of my feelings for you until you show me that there is no hope for us. I will wait for you.”

…END FLASHBACK…

Alice was in tears now, just like I was.

“Bella…”

“No, Alice. You can’t help me. This fucking asshole I was so in love with and probably still am never called me, you know? He had promised me! He had fucking promised me! He had told me that he will try to solve his problems as fast as he can and then phone me. – You know, he didn’t even tell me what kind of problems he had? My father is a police officer, Alice! He could have fucking helped him! I would have helped him! But he didn’t love me. He didn’t want me to help him solve his problems. Hell, he probably didn’t even have any and used all this as an excuse to leave without arguments. And the ring was surely only some kind of sick joke rich boys like doing. In over one year he didn’t call me once, you know! I waited for him! I really waited. I had my hopes up, you know. For months! Every morning I sto…od up and thought that maybe this one wou…ld be the day he would finally call me. But he ne…never did. And then I ended up w…with this jerk New…ton! I wan…ted to for…get him Al…ice. I tried. I re… real… really tr.. tried, Al… Alice, b-b-b-but I just ca… ca… can’t.” I sobbed.

“Bella. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Be… bec… because you are his cousin, Alice.” I tried to compose myself. “You wou…ld have fucking told him some…thing. And I didn’t want you to. I wanted him to make the decision to keep me o..n his own. I didn’t want him to be under some kind of pressure. I wanted him to be able to deal with his problems first and then decide on his own to come back to me. And as you see, he decided against me. I am so stupid Alice. I loved him. I fell for him. How could I?”

“Bella. You don’t know that. Maybe he just wasn’t able to do that yet.”

“The hell, Alice, he wasn’t able to. He had a year. Alice, he ruined my life. You know that I couldn’t kiss anybody else without wanting to choke? Alice, he did that to me!”

“All right Bella. I will talk to him about it.”

“No you won’t!”

“Yes, I will. You are my friend and he is my cousin. I want you two to be happy. And trust me, he did love you. He never looked at anybody as he did at you before and he was never so happy. You know that the day you parted he told me to keep an eye on you? He would call every week to ask me how you were doing. When I asked him why he didn’t just call you, he said that he wasn’t able yet to fulfill his promise. Now that I know what has happened I am not going to just stand by and watch how you destroy yourself.” She was lying. I couldn’t let that come through to me. There was no way this could be true. No. I had to forget that I heard her saying those words.

“You fucking won’t Alice. I will do it on my own. I want to confront him. And I want to do this alone. No need for you to interfere.” Too late. Of course I would remember those words. Hell, they made my day.

“Good. So think about how you are going to do this, cause I am going to pick him and this Jasper up from the airport. Good luck figuring it out!” And with that the little pixie was out of the door again.

Did that really happen right now? Please tell me it was just a dream and I will wake up and see that it is morning and I have a whole day to plan his homecoming. Why did Alice have to come in right now when I was so in thought and needed every fucking painful minute of it? What am I going to do now? If everything Alice had told me was true, then he never stopped loving me. Then he cared and never stopped thinking about me. That would also be the reason for all his doings.

After some thinking I decided to do something simple. I would see how he would react to meeting me first. If he would have some feelings for me left or not. We would discuss matters like the adults we both are now and then we would see were this would lead us.

I quickly cleaned the house with Rosalie’s help and headed out to the store to buy some wine.

I came back and found Alice’s car in the parking lot. Fuck! So he was here now. Okay, girl. Don’t lose it now. You know what you have to do. Pick yourself together and don’t let the fear win over. You can do it!

Even before I opened the door I could hear Emmett’s laughter from the living room. Good. At least he is in a good mood. I opened the door slowly and was greeted by a pixie jumping up and down right in front of me and clapping her hands together. I glanced behind her and there in the living room was Emmett laughing and pointing to the guy I think was supposed to be Jasper, who had a very amused look on his face. Rosalie just sat motionless and totally shocked on one of the chairs.

“Bella! Bella! I have great news to tell you!” Alice shrieked in front of me.

“Yeah?” I asked her.

“Yeah! Look!” she screamed and threw her left hand in front of my face. There was a huge diamond ring.

“Alice? Are you all right? Okay, you bought a new ring. You do that almost everyday. There is no fucking reason to make such a fuss around it!” I said a little annoyed. Hello? What was that with her mood swings? I thought she was supposed to bring Edward home and not go shopping?

“Where is Edward?” I asked her.

“Not here. He went for a walk or something after Jasper proposed to me and I accepted,” she said.

He what? When Jasper fucking what? And she did what in the hell? This was a joke, right?

“Alice, stop screwing with me. I am in no mood for jokes now. You know that.”

“It was no joke,” she simply said.

Emmett busted in laughter again. I glanced to Rosalie who just shrugged and then to Jasper who had a shit eating grin on his face.

“I want you to be my bridesmaid! I already found the dress!” What? She was serious?

“Alice when did you…?”

“Oh, right after Jasper proposed at the airport! I am so excited. You know, we don’t have much time! We have to plan everything! God I have so much to tell you. Do you know how he proposed to me? Wait let’s start at the point when we met! Wait… It’s the same! Ok, so here I go…” I just sat down and started listening to her blabbering about shit nobody was really interested in. Maybe I wasn’t the best friend by not listening to her, but I had other things to think of.

I was able to catch some details though. She was really serious. She actually was engaged and she and Jasper were really going to get married by the end of our first college year. I am sure Dr. and Mrs. Cullen will love this idea. I thought to myself. Ok, I knew that Alice was crazy. She was kind of a psycho. But this was way too much.

After she described her little adventure it was already late and Fuckward still hadn’t come home. That only showed me that I was probably right and that everything Alice had said were just some lies she told me to make me to stop crying. Why should he come home? It wasn’t as if he wanted to come home to somebody or to his so loved room. He had nobody to come home to in his eyes.

Since I was sure that Fuckward wouldn’t probably come home soon, I decided to watch a movie with Alice and Rosalie. We had everything prepared and ready and sat down in Rosalie’s room to watch it. After half of the movie was over, the popcorn became rare, so I decided to go and get some more.

I left the room and went straight to the living room, where we had left the popcorn to have better access to it later and not having to go all the way to the kitchen.

As soon as I was in the doorway and switched the lights on I stopped dead in the place I was. The picture I saw there caused me too much pain to move. A sob escaped my throat, but that was all. I wanted to run away and hide. I wanted to cry my eyes out. But I couldn’t. I was petrified.

Fuckward was there with a red-haired girl wrapped around him.

I couldn’t hold the tears anymore. Fuckward must have seen me because he threw the girl to the floor. She started cursing but he didn’t pay attention to her. He just stared at me with a shocked and pained expression on his face and I stared back. I felt how my eyes begun to sting and then a single tear ran down my face.

How could I be so stupid? I had waited for him. I had never crossed my borders. Mike didn’t count. I couldn’t. He had me. He had me complete. Body, heart and soul. I had not broken my promise of wearing this god damned fucking useless ring. I had saved myself for him. I had kept my heart for him. Why?

Now I was sure, everything was a lie. I knew it. I knew I was right. He never really loved me. I was just a distraction to him. He broke all of his promises. Not only did he never call me but the position I found this fucking prick in with this whore was proof enough that he didn’t keep any of the promises he made to me.

I had the proof that I wanted. I had told him that I would continue loving him and waiting for him until he showed me not to. And he literally did. He was making out with a bitch. And I could clearly see that this was going to become much more than a simple make out session.

So here was evidence. He didn’t want me anymore.

I had to leave. I couldn’t handle it anymore. And I had to leave now, while I still could.

~*~

A/N:

Theodora: You are a real bitch, you know?

Caroline: Why?

Theodora: Because you knew that I wanted to read how everything will continue and what do you do? You write this! Nobody wanted to read this shit! We wanted to read how this will continue and not how Bella got that stupid ring!

Caroline: Really?

Theoodra: *scowls*

Caroline: You want to read how this situation will continue? Review!

I have finals now, so if I continue writing or not depends entirely on your reviews.

No reviews: I continue writing after my finals (That would be around the end of July)

Many reviews: Screw the finals! Grades aren’t this important! Where is my laptop? I need to write some interesting chapters! (Hey – that has to mean something. My grade point average is A+! And that for five years now! I swear! *brag* XD )

Theodora: *scowls* Stop bragging!

Caroline: *feeling offended* I am not!

Theodora: *can't take her anymore* God! Could you at least try and behave like a human being?

Caroline: *stubborn* No, I can't.

Theodora: *desperate* WHY?

Caroline: Because, I am not.

Theodora: *off-guard* WHAT? O.O

Caroline: It's simple. I am a vampire.

Theodora: Whatever. Wake up girl...