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Your Ex-Lover is Dead

Summary:
All human. When Jacob takes Bella to meet and old friend, 2 months before their wedding, she gets a big surprise when that friend is Edward, Bella's ex. With Edward back in her life will Bella be able to follow through with her wedding?


Notes:


5. Hellogoodbye

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 2499   Review this Chapter

Chapter 5: Hellogoodbye

Previously: Bella woke to knocking on her door. She looked around, with Jacob no where in sight, finding his note instead. She assumed it was probably him, forgetting his keys or something, and opened the door, to find Edward in her doorway.

“What are you doing here Edward?” Bella asked, sleep quickly disappearing.

She tried to slam the door in his face but he was too quick. They both stood in the doorway for a while, silently fighting with theirs gazes.

“Bella, please,” Edward said, his voice shaking, finally breaking the silence.

“Edward, I can’t. Jacob-” Bella began to speak, but Edward cut her off. Their lips touched, heir tongues danced, and Bella pulled away all too quickly.

“Bella,” Edward whined.

“No, I can’t. Jacob was just here. He and I belong together. What happened was a mistake, one that will never happen again,” Bella said, taking a seat on her couch.

“He may have been here, and fucked you, but he can’t love you like I can,” Edward said, anger taking him over.

Bella rolled her eyes and said, “You have no right Edward. You left, he’s been here for me. He has loved me without hesitation, without fear, and unconditionally. He never cowered away when things got bad. He picked up the pieces you broke and helped repair this heart.”

“Bella, I may not have been around, I may have chickened, out but I have always loved you. I know you still feel something for me,” Edward said, moving in closer to Bella’s body. Bella began to feel that same feeling she felt when Edward and her first started dating. The same feeling that had caused her to loose control.

Edward leaned in and kissed her, it was a deep passionate kiss that sent chills down Bella’s spine.

“He can’t kiss you like this,” he whispered into her ear.

He slowly moved his hand to her thigh. “He can’t touch you like I can.”

Edward knew by the fast breaths Bella was taking that he was winning the battle. Abruptly, he stopped caressing her thigh and grazed her stomach, creating a path to her breast. He gave them a small squeeze, causing Bella to throw her head back. Again he whispered into her ear, “You see that, only I can make you feel this way, and it’s only taken me once to figure out what you need.”

He used his other hand and began caressing her thigh, leading to the hem of her pants. He slowly crept under her underwear and slowly began pumping his finger inside her wet folds. “He can’t give you this kind of pleasure. I know what you want, even if you don’t. Bella, can’t you see that I love you, I always have.”

Bella’ mind was spinning, with Edward’s hands all over her she couldn’t focus on what he was saying. But when she heard him say those final words about what she wanted reality kicked in. She pushed his hands away from her and jumped off the couch.

“Edward, you have no idea what I want. You come here for a booty call and when I ask you to leave, you pretty much attack me with your groping and don’t even consider… that I don’t want you anymore.”

Edward laughed at Bella’s outburst she was definitely a spitfire.

Bella’s anger intensified and spoke again, “I’m serious Edward. Why can’t you just let me go? I’ve moved on, you should too. If you really loved me you would let me be happy with Jacob.”

Edward couldn’t believe the words coming out of Bella’s mouth. Finally, he recovered and responded, “Well, if you loved Jake like you claim to do, you would tell him about us, all of it.”

Bella was taken aback but after hearing his words, he was right, whether he had intended to or not. “You’re right. I have to tell him,” Bella said plopping herself on her couch.

Edward was shocked at Bella’s response; he hadn’t expected her to come clean, especially since it meant hurting Jacob. A wave of defeat overwhelmed Edward, he knew that he had lost Bella. She would never want to tell Jacob, unless she truly cared about him. She denied Edward, with temptation so sweet, and she denied him.

The silence was maddening for the both former lovers. Again it was Edward who spoke first, “You’re really going to tell him aren’t you?”

Bella nodded, biting her bottom lip.

“Bella, if this is really going to end tomorrow, can’t we just pretend? We don’t have to do anything. Let me just hold you one last night, be by your side one last night. Please?”

Bella couldn’t deny him this last request, she went into her room and he followed. She laid down first and he followed, hugging her tightly to his body. He watched as her heartbeat slowly faded and she fell asleep. She snuggled closer to him, and held her until sleep came. Edward had lost and he knew it.

The saying, “sleep on it,” was not wasted on Bella. Although she was dead set on telling Jake everything last night things looked different this morning.

Bella woke up to find Edward still in her bed. This time she didn’t kick him out. Bella’s heart was torn she had Edward, who was her first love, and Jacob who had been patient and helped her love again.

She felt Edward adjust himself, and watched him sleep. As much as he hurt her Bella still loved him, he had failed her once before but the situation was different. Now they were adults no one could tell him or her, what to do She knew she had a decision to make but at that moment all she wanted was to hold him; pretend that it was just the two of them.

Bella’s internal turmoil lasted for a few more minutes, until Edward finally awoke. He gave Bella a small smile and got up.

“I guess this means good bye,” he said, kissing her on the forehead.

Bella couldn’t respond, and Edward took that gesture as a goodbye and left. Bella cried all day, not getting any of her work done. She didn’t want to talk to anyone or spill her guts, because what happened last night was something private was something only meant for them to share. She didn’t get out of bed, only to eat a few crackers and use the bathroom, ignoring all phone calls and texts.

It was around dinner time that Bella really felt the weight of her day; she made herself a sandwich and grabbed some water. She decided to check her phone and saw over 20 missed calls from Jacob, Alice, and Rosalie. She had several voice mails and texts from all three. She sent a generic text to all three that let them know she was busy working on her article, and needed some time. Everyone knew how Bella was when she would write. She would get in a trance and continued writing, researching, and ignored the world in doing so.

Alice called Rosalie and Bella to hang out, but she could only get through to Rose. She was slightly worried and insisted on calling Bella. She had Rose call her as well but she never responded. Rosalie attempted to calm her but Alice knew something was wrong but didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.

Alice and Rose went shopping and caught up on what they had been doing the last few years. They easily fell into a groove, but they couldn’t deny the black cloud that followed them, every time Bella was mentioned.

Alice had invited Rosalie to her place to have dinner with Jasper. They were in the middle of enjoying their pasta when they both received texts from Bella, stating she had been caught up with her new article. Rosalie felt a sense of relief when she read the text, but Alice couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

When Bella heard Alice at her door, she wished she was a superhero who could block her out but alas she wasn’t so she opened her door.

“Hey, Bella,” Rose said, sweetly. Bella merely nodded and led them in.

“Isabella Marie Swan, where have you been all day? You claim to have been writing but I just don’t buy it. I can already tell by the state of you apartment that you haven’t, in fact it looks like you haven’t been here. If you’ve been with a certain bronze haired man I will never speak to you again.”

Alice was in shock as she saw Bella break down. She didn’t freeze up but she was balling.

“Bella, please tell us what happened, we can’t help you unless you tell us,” Alice said, while Rose comforted her.

“Edward and I, were over. It's finally over. Last night we talked and after he accused me of not really loving Jacob because of what happened, I told him I would tell Jake. It was then that he understood that I’m with Jacob now, but it hurts so much. I feel like I’ve lost a part of me. I know I’m meant to be with Jacob, my love for him hasn’t changed or diminished and the love I’ve kept for Edward is still there, and I know I shouldn’t but I can’t deny how I feel.”

“Bella, only you know how you feel and if it’s with Edward or Jacob you need to make a decision, but despite who you choose you need to tell Jacob the truth all of it. More importantly, before the t’s are crossed and the i’s dotted,” Alice said.

Rosalie didn’t say much, but agreed she didn’t feel she had a right to an opinion. “Alice is right, Jacob needs to know and let the chips fall into place.”

“I know but I’m afraid of loosing him. I don’t know how I would handle it. I almost didn’t survive when Edward left the first time, and I’m dealing with his departure a second time better, because this time it was me who told him to go. But loosing Jacob, I wouldn’t survive; the hole in my heart would grow until it engulfed it. I just can’t.”

“You have to,” Rosalie said, hugging Bella.

“I know,” Bella said in between tears.

After that night it seemed like Bella was coping better, but she still hadn’t told Jacob about what had happened, and the lawyers were almost done negotiating the deal. The wedding was now a month away, and Bella was in frantic mode. She has begun to sort through her apartment, packing for her move into Jake’s place.

Jacob was the luckiest guy in the world. Bella and he were in a good place, their physical relationship had changed drastically from the soft tender movements to more rough ones.

Edward had decided to become a more silent partner in the mechanic shop, due to his other responsibilities. Although, Jacob was unhappy at first, Edward and him had been good friends for a while now, but they’re interest were limited to the business. Edward would only come around at the beginning of the month to make sure everything was up to par.

Bella was looking at some boxes that she had from her time in Phoenix, most of them were pictures from her time in high school with Alice, old assignments and a few journals. She hadn’t had a chance to look through them since her move a few years back.

Bella was feeling the pressure of the wedding one, Monday afternoon when she realized she still hadn’t finished packing, or done any of the duties she was suppose to, specifically tell Jacob.

By no means did Bella not want to marry him under false pretenses or let Edward and him join in a partnership, but she was desperate. She didn’t want to loose the man she cared so much for.

As she looked through the boxes of her past she came across a shoebox she knew all to well. It was the box of letters she had stupidly written for Edward, but never sent. She didn’t bother opening them, she knew where they belonged.

Later that same day Jacob was helping his fiancé pack for the big move and came across a few pictures from high school, and got curious. Bella had been so secretive and evasive about her time in Phoenix he never knew much except she was happy there. He was lucky Bella had gone to pick up some their Chinese food all the way from Chinatown, the traffic back and forth would be enough time to look through her past.

He began rummaging through her old assignments and journals. He didn’t read any of them; he knew Bella wouldn’t want him to. He looked at a few pictures and noticed a shoebox, hidden all the way at the bottom of the pile.

He opened it and saw various pictures of her fiancé and future business partner. Jacob’s mind was reeling, he felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach and every one was laughing at him. He noticed the letters in the box and began reading them one by one. He read about how much Bella missed Edward; how she wished she knew why he left her so suddenly, why he lost contact, and why he didn’t love her anymore.

Suddenly, everything clicked; Bella’s pain when he first met her, her fear of commitment, her column, they way they reacted to one another. He read the last letter and wished he hadn’t.

Edward,

I miss you so much, I still love you, but I won’t write to you anymore, even though you won’t see these letters, I realized that all this does is make me hurt more. Writing to a ghost, and keeping this love for you hidden. I’ve tried to move on, even started dating a really great guy. I want to try and love someone else; even though it seems impossible I’m going to try….

I decided to add this just because I feel that in some way I really am writing to you, and it’s the only way to tell you that despite whatever love Jacob makes me feel, it can never compare to your love. Even though you’re gone and you left me so alone, I still love you but I am going to move on. Jacob deserves my love and you never did, but you will still have it.

Always yours, Bella

Bella was driving back home from china town, if it wasn’t for the awesome food Bella would not have bothered to make the trip, but she wanted to spoil Jacob a little, he loved their food.

She walked into her apartment and yelled for Jacob. She began to set the table. A few minutes had passed and Jacob finally appeared with the box of letters, she wished she had destroyed.