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Starless

Summary:
Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com! Rated Adult for Language, Scenes of Sexual Exploration, and Suggestive Content. Bella Swan has been writing songs all her life. But when her favorite singer, Evan Cullans, announces that he needs songs for his next album, Bella jumps at the chance. She sends Evan a copy of her best work under a penname. But when Evan insists that they meet, things get ... weird. What happens when Evan realizes that the girl behind the songs is really the love of his life, and Bella realizes that Evan isn't Evan at all, but really her soon - to - be husband, Edward Cullen? OOC. Definately AU. Some Lemons in later chaptes. Takes place after Eclipse and before Breaking Dawn. This is what "happens" after Edward left Bella in New Moon. Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all recognizable characters, and ALL lyrics were written by Crossfade, and I in no way intend to use their brilliant work for monetary gain! Please Read and Review!!!!!!


Notes:


3. Chapter 3: Starless

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1436   Review this Chapter

Starless by tayler1117

Chapter Three: Starless

BPOV

“Read me the song out loud,” Alice said, hands poised over the tiny keyboard of my lap top.

“Do I have to?” I whined.

“Of course you do!” Alice exclaimed. “Now read the God damn song, woman!”

I cleared my throat and began to half read, half sing the lyrics to one of the best songs I had ever written.

If only you could watch me fall,

I cannot feel it anymore,

The soul you cut,

The soul you adore,

Cannot feel you anymore

‘Cause you’ve run through me with destructive force

I think somehow I gotta get it straight,

I gotta get you out of me,

But I cannot get through to you

See me I’m down and I get deeper with every breath

See me I’m over the edge farther with every step

See me I’m down and I get deeper with every breath

Standing over the edge I’m taking my last breath

How I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to fade now

And how I feel like I’m starless

I’m hopeless and grayed out

Somehow I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to fade now

And now I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to burn out

I can transcend you and mentally bend you

But I can’t handle the shit that I’m into

I have been blinded and always reminded

Of the things I’ve wanted but I never could find

I am a part of a world that I hate I wish the end would come faster my world’s a disaster

Can’t you see that I’m down and I’m drowning

And I can’t keep my head above my wake

See me I’m down and I get deeper with every breath

See me I’m over the edge, father with every step

See me I’m down and I get deeper with every breath

Standing over the edge, I’m taking my last breath

How I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to fade now

And how I feel like I’m starless

I’m hopeless and grayed out

Somehow I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to fade out

And now I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to burn out

I gotta get you out of my veins

I gotta get you out of my blood

I gotta get you out of my scene

I gotta get you out of me

What I’m really trying hard to get down to words

Is the way I fit into this world

Things I survived pushed me to the darker side

Because of life as it was

The life that was yours should’ve been mine

But I never could take anymore of this

‘Cause I’m always gonna get

Gonna get down to the floor

It’s a cold gun that I kiss

‘Cause I cannot break anymore

Somehow I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to fade now

Th at’s how I feel when I’m starless

I’m hopeless and grayed out

Somehow I feel like I’m starless

I’m ready to burn ou t

Oh, now I’m starless

“Wow, Bella,” Alice said in awe. “When did you write that?”

“Just after I jumped off the cliff in La Push,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “It just came to me. I just wrote what I felt at the time.”

“That’s really deep,” Alice said, fingers flying frantically over the key board. “There!” she added with a flourish. “All done!”

I looked at the screen. There was my song, completely typed, word for word. “You’re amazing,” I said to Alice, giving her a very tight hug.

“I know,” Alice said, a huge grin on her face. “I’ve got Evan’s Email address right here. Are you sure you want to send this to him?”

“I’m sure,” I said, finally deciding what I wanted to do. “I mean, the worst that can happen is that he won’t use it, right?”

“That’s about it. But he could use it, and you’d be a famous song writer, and then other stars would want you to write songs for them too. So nothing too bad could happen either way.”

“Just send it to him,” I said, turning to walk out of the room. “I’m going to go and get something to eat. You know, I am the only one of us that actually eats real food.

I walked out of the room, but I distinctly heard Alice laughing her head off in my room on my way down the stairs.

I was half way through my peanut butter and jelly sandwich when Alice came down stairs with my lap top.

“Done already?” I asked her, quickly swallowing the piece of sandwich that was in my mouth.

“Yep,” she said, placing the lap top carefully on the table before me. “And he must have been looking at the submissions because he already wrote back.”

“What?” I asked, dropping my sandwich back on my plate and looking at the screen.

There was a new message in my inbox. I clicked on the ‘Check Mail’ icon and waited for the inbox to open. Although Charlie got wireless Internet, it was still as slow as Moses.

When it finally loaded, I clicked on the new message. This time it loaded in faster than it usually does. I read through the message three times before the reality of it all set in.

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your submission Starless. I would just like to congratulate you and let you know that I will be using your song on my next album. My only request is that you join me in the recording process so that I can make sure the song is what you envisioned when you wrote it. You will, of course, be credited for your hard work on the album, and all of your expenses in getting here will be paid in full. There will be more details sent at a later date.Thank you for your submission.

Evan Cullans

“Oh, my God!” I screamed as loud as I could. Alice looked at me with a smile, obviously seeing my reaction before she came down stairs. “I actually get to meet Evan!”

“I know!” Alice said with a hint of sarcasm. I smacked her arm playfully and we both started laughing.

“But wait,” I said, glancing back at the screen. “It says ‘Dear Anonymous’ . . . you didn’t put my name on there?”

“I thought I’d leave your identity a secret for now because there are some things that you don’t know yet that have to wait until you meet Evan,” Alice explained. “And trust me, this meeting will be very important.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you and your family know something that I don’t?” I asked Alice, trying desperately to figure out what Alice was thinking. If only Edward was here with me . . .

EPOV

You’ve got mail.”

I rolled my chair over to my computer and clicked on the new message. I was glad that Alice set me up a temporary Email address because she said something about Bella submitting a song for my next album.

I looked at the sender’s address and my stomach gave a nervous jolt. It was a song. From Bella. But I noticed that Bella’s name wasn’t anywhere in the Email. I just knew her Email address. Alice must have sent it, I thought to myself I quickly read through the song, memorizing each word as I went. It was one of the best things I had ever read. And I knew that I had given her the inspiration for the song. Every word in that song summarized what Bella had gone through in our time apart. It was now my job to put the words to music and make a master piece out of it. I just hoped that when I met with Bella to discuss the song that she wouldn’t be too upset about my true identity. I quickly wrote her back.

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your submission Starless. I would just like to congratulate you and let you know that I will be using your song on my next album. My only request is that you join me in the recording process so that I can make sure the song is what you envisioned when you wrote it. You will, of course, be credited for your hard work on the album, and all of your expenses in getting here will be paid in full. There will be more details sent at a later date. Thank you for your submission.

Evan Cullans

I hit send after I was finished. I didn’t re – read the message because I knew that I would spend the next day or two trying to reword everything that I had written.

I didn’t know how Bella was going to react when I met with her to discuss her song. I just hope that she didn’t hate me for keeping this secret from her.