Rated Adult for Language, Scenes of Sexual Exploration, and Suggestive Content. Bella Swan has been writing songs all her life. But when her favorite singer, Evan Cullans, announces that he needs songs for his next album, Bella jumps at the chance. She sends Evan a copy of her best work under a penname. But when Evan insists that they meet, things get ... weird. What happens when Evan realizes that the girl behind the songs is really the love of his life, and Bella realizes that Evan isn't Evan at all, but really her soon - to - be husband, Edward Cullen? OOC. Definately AU. Some Lemons in later chaptes. Takes place after Eclipse and before Breaking Dawn. This is what "happens" after Edward left Bella in New Moon. Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all recognizable characters, and ALL lyrics were written by Crossfade, and I in no way intend to use their brilliant work for monetary gain! Please Read and Review!!!!!!
4. Chapter 4: Please?
Rating 5/5 Word Count 3548 Review this Chapter
Starless by tayler1117
Chapter Four: Please?
I finally got to throw out the sling, and I was using my new freedom to drive down to Port Angeles with Alice to go shopping. It was the least that I could do for her since she ignored the blood when I cut my hand.
I pulled up in front of the white mansion and honked the horn. Alice came tearing out the front door in heels that looked way to high even for Alice. I didn’t know how she did it.
“Hey, Bella!” Alice chirped happily after she opened the door. She climbed carefully inside my ancient truck and deposited her purse on the floor under her feet. “Shall we go now?”
“Of course, Alice,” I said, turning the engine over. But my truck wouldn’t start. The engine just kept turning over and over again, but it never roared into life like it usually did. I turned the key over one last time. The motor gave a loud clunking sound and then died out completely. “Shit! What does stuff like this always fucking happen to me?”
I was screaming, and I wasn’t even aware of it. Alice didn’t flinch at my volume, but merely ogled at me. I wasn’t one to scream profanity, but I was just sick and tired of shit like this always happening to me.
“We could take my car,” Alice suggested. “I’ll let you drive, too.”
I put my head on the steering wheel and spoke to Alice.
“Alice, I’m pretty sure that I don’t even want to go now.”
I opened my door and got out. I slammed it behind me so that the rust that was accumulating at the bottom of the door fell like dust and formed little red hills on the gravel.
“STUPID” *kick* “FUCKING” *kick* “TRUCK!” I bellowed while kicking the tire with all of the strength that I could muster.
“Bella!” Alice screamed, rushing forward and wrapping her arms around my torso, pinning my arms to my sides. “Bella, please, please stop. It’ll be okay. Just come back inside. Before you hurt yourself,” she added quickly, obviously thinking ahead and realizing that I didn’t have my boots on.
My foot and ankle were starting to swell up with the force that I used to issue the heavy blows on the tire. I would have done more damage to myself than to the truck.
I allowed Alice to steer me back in her house. I flopped down onto the sofa and toyed with the ring on my finger. Edward gave me this ring with the promise that he would never leave me and that I would, one day, be like him and with him forever. But I was getting impatient. I didn’t know how many more days, weeks, even months that I could wait before I lost my cool and just ask Carlisle to do it….
I heard Bella screaming outside as I pulled on some fresh clothes.
“STUPID – FUCKING – TRUCK!”
I stopped midway from pulling on my shirt. Did Bella just say what I think she did? I had never heard those words out of her mouth before. I didn’t think that Bella would ever utter those words. But here she said, no wait, yelled them. Wow, Miss Swan.
The front door slammed and I heard Bella and Alice come back inside. I pulled my shirt on the rest of the way and made my way quickly back downstairs.
“Bella, what’s wrong?” Edward asked me, sitting down carefully beside me on the couch.
“That fucking rust bucket won’t start!” she yelled, pointing towards the front door, but she never took her eyes off of me.
“I’ll get Emmett to look at it when he and Rosalie get back from hunting. I’m sure he’ll be able to tell you what’s wrong with it. In the mean time, you and Alice can take my car and go shopping.”
He handed me the keys to his Volvo.
“Are you sure?” I asked him, all anger vanishing from my veins.
“I’m quite certain,” he said, jingling the keys. Then he smiled my favorite crooked smile and dropped the keys into my hand.
Alice was smiling at the two of us, but then her eyes became unfocused and her smile faltered.
“What is it, Alice?” Edward and I asked at precisely the same moment.
Alice held up her index finger, signaling for us to wait.
“We don’t need to go,” Alice said finally, looking up at Edward and me. Edward went rigid as he read Alice’s mind.
“Why?” I asked, wishing Edward and Alice would stop the silent communication for once and fill me for a change.
“Umm,” Alice said, looking from me to Edward and back again. “Just watch the news tonight.”
“Can’t you just tell me what you saw?” I called at Alice’s retreating back.
“You’ll just have to wait and see!” Alice said, her voice becoming fainter and fainter as she climbed the stairs.
“What did she see, Edward?” I asked, looking up into his perfect face and batting my eyelashes.
“That,” Edward began, looking back into my eyes, “I can’t tell you. I don’t think that you’d be able to cope with what is going to happen today. It’s best that you don’t know because it’s just one of those things that nobody can know until it happens. We don’t need any one spilling the beans or letting the cat out of the bag. I just need to keep you here so I know that you won’t get hurt.”
Everything that Edward had just said went in one ear and out the other. I had no idea what he was talking about, but the only thing that I did get out of his words was that he wanted to keep me safe. At least I knew he still loved me. . .
“Edward, please?” I pleaded, sticking out my bottom lip.
“No, Bella, not tonight. I don’t want to hurt you!”
“But you won’t! I know you won’t! I trust you!”
“Bella, you trust me a hell of a lot more than you should. This isn’t a good idea. We need to wait until we’re married and you’re changed. I can’t risk losing you over something you human’s call, ‘fun’.” He groaned at my persistent attempts.
I’m sick of this conversation. Every time I tell Edward that I’m ready to have sex with him, he pushes me away like I’m some sort of contagious disease. His excuses are always the same. I can’t stand it anymore!
“Fun? What we human’s call, “fun”? You’re driving me crazy, Edward!” I got off of the bed and paced around his room. “I’m practically begging for some attention from you and you think that I only want this for “fun”? Ugh, that makes me sick.”
“Bella…,” Edward sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. “Bella, I’m sorry. I’ll give you as much attention that you need and be more than happy to do it, but we can’t cross that line.”
“So, you’re telling me that you can’t give me what I want.” I kept my back towards him. “I don’t want to push you into something you have no interest in, anyway. Really, I don’t our first time to be a charity case.”
“Something I don’t want to do? Bella,…come here.” I turned around and saw him resting his elbows on his knees. At least the look on his face was of concern and not reprimand.
I sighed and walked in between his legs so he could wrap his arms around me.
“Bella, you’re completely misinformed if you think I don’t want to. Believe me, it’s crossed my mind a few hundred times.” His crooked smile lit up his face. Swoon. “I just don’t trust myself, okay? You’re more precious to me than you know.”
“I know…it’s just that…this feeling is getting very hard to ignore. Not to mention…” I stopped myself before my words could embarrass me even more. My face felt hot and I knew that it was turning red.
“Not to mention what, Bella?” His thumb caressed my cheek and turned my head away from him.
“Nothing.” Suddenly, I wasn’t only embarrassed but ashamed of myself.
“Tell me, Bella. Please?” Regrettably, a single tear fell before I could stop it. “Hey, hey…come one…what’s wrong, love?”
“Rejection, okay? I’m embarrassed enough without having to say it out loud. I feel rejected, unwanted, average, you name it…I feel it. You already surpass me in every aspect of your life and this,” I gestured at our argument, “isn’t helping.”
I tried to turn in his arms and run far away, but he held me tight.
“Stop.” He locked his legs together to hold me still and cupped my face with both hands. “Bella, you astound me. In no way do I think you’re average and I want you in ways that might scare the hell out of you.”
“You don’t have to do that.” I closed my eyes, afraid to look at him.
“Do what?” The irritation was back in his voice.
“I don’t want to hear the words, anymore. I’ll wait,…it’s fine. You’ll probably be disappointed, anyway.” I pulled his hands off of my face and looked at him, sadness was evident, even I could tell that.
“Ugh, Bella!” Suddenly, his hands gripped my hips and he pulled me on the bed, flipping us over so that he was on top. “You constantly put yourself down. Stop it.”
Edward’s lips came crashing down on mine. It wasn’t the slow kissing that we were engaged in earlier, no, he was saying something in this kiss. It wasn’t, “I love you”, it was, “I want you.” I started clutching at his shirt and gasping for air. We hadn’t even been kissing for a full thirty seconds, and I was already hyperventilating. I think Edward was wrong. He wasn’t the one who couldn’t handle this; it’s me.
“Breathe, Bella.” He kissed a line to my ear and down my neck, stopping to lick my pulse point; something he’s never done before.
“Mmm.” I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth and let out a shuttered breath.
“What if I try to diminish those feelings as best I can without actually making love. Would that be okay?” His kisses were becoming harder as they lowered to my collarbone.
“Uh-huh.” I was taking his instruction and breathing heavily through my mouth while Edward toyed with the hem of my shirt.
Without a word, his right hand traveled under my shirt and along my side. It took a lot of power not to whimper and moan every time he moved to uncharted territory, even if it was just my ribcage. My hands wound themselves in Edward’s hair and tried to push him lower. He had been kissing my collarbone and shoulders for far too long.
“Bella…,” I was aware that it was suppose to sound like he was scolding me, but he seemed too amused. “You’re making me do this.” He straddled my legs and brought my hands above me head, holding them there.
This guy could hold me hostage anywhere and anytime…I won’t complain. He kissed me, again, and held my hands together with his left. His right hand went back under my shirt. While he traced patterns on my stomach, he pulled my bottom lip into his mouth.
“Mmm…” My face was enflamed when my moan escaped my mouth.
“Now, now, Bella…I want to hear you. You’ve wanted this for so long, you have to let me know how satisfying the feeling is.” As he said it, he slid his hand underneath my bra and cupped my right breast. My vision was foggy as I saw his glorious smile disappear down my body. “Keep your hands above your head, Love.”
Edward removed his hand from my breast, much to my dismay, and pulled my shirt over my head. Tossing my shirt beside the bed, he raked his eyes over my body.
“You are so perfect.” Both of his hands ran down my sides and rest at the button of my jeans. “May I?”
“Uh-huh.” What’s wrong with me? I was so bold earlier, where did my voice go?
Edward slowly unbuttoned my jeans. If it felt slow to me, I’m sure it felt like an eternity for him. Then again, he has all the time in the world. He unzipped my pants and started to slide my pants down my legs.
“Are you sure, Bella?” I felt my stomach and entire body start to shake, slightly.
“Why are you shaking?” He took his hands off my and placed them on my face.
“I’m fine. Don’t stop…I’m just nervous.” I wanted to touch him, but remembered that he told me to keep my hands above my head.
“We can stop anytime, I promise.” He placed his right hand over my heart.
“No…I’m not nervous about the act. I’m nervous about you seeing me…without my clothes on.” I turned my head to the side and stared at the wall.
“Oh, Bella,” he laughed. “You look entirely too sexy to be nervous about that.” Edward gently kissed my lips and continued sliding my pants off my body and discarding them with my shirt.
For a moment, he just let his eyes wonder over my body. I should have felt incredibly embarrassed, but he wasn’t looking at me in shock and lust…no, Edward was looking at me with adoration. Perfect man.
“My God…” His breathing had picked up to almost the speed that mine was.
In a surge of bravery, I sat up and unhooked my bra, sliding it off my shoulders but holding it against my breasts.
“Mmm, please don’t hide from me.” He reached his hand to my bra and hooked a finger underneath it, tugging. It fell from my body and we just stared at each other. There I was, completely exposed and he had all of his clothes on. He was always the one in control. Always. I felt vulnerable, and I didn’t want that. This relationship was a partnership and I needed more power in it.
I sat up on my knees, accidentally pushing my breasts together. “Edward,…?”
“Huh?” Now it’s time for him to lose his words.
“Take your shirt off.” I saw his eyes travel from my stomach, to my breasts, up to my lips and back down, again, before he licked his lips and pulled his shirt over his head. Mmm…now, that’s what I’ve been waiting for.
I couldn’t help myself. My hormones had officially taken over all of my actions when I lunged into Edward’s chest and knocked him on his back. His lips devoured mine as I clung at his hair and he roughly gripped my hips. I straddled his waist and we both ran our hands over each other’s chests. We were polar opposites in our pursuit, but I knew it was because he was trying not to bruise me. He was gently massaging my upper torso, meanwhile my nails were scratching down his body.
“More…,” I said against his lips. “You won’t hurt me.”
He rolled my nipples between his fingers, causing a moan to escape my lips. I felt the familiar warmth between my legs and used it as courage to move to Edward’s pants.
“Hey, hey…this is about your satisfaction, Bella…not mine.” Embarrassment…Humiliation...Rejection… My hands sharply pulled away from him and I pushed his hands away from my breasts, covering them with my own.
“That would give me satisfaction, Edward. If you’re doing this just to appease me so I’ll stop harassing you, then don’t bother.” I looked away, again.
“Ugh, Bella!” I couldn’t help but turn my head back to Edward when I saw him unbutton and unzip his own pants. “You wanna help me with these?” He lifted his hips to take his pants off.
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. He gave into me and I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss any of this.
“My pleasure.” I pulled his pants off and threw them off the bed. It was my turn to stare. There he was, clad in nothing but his gray boxer-briefs.
"Mmm…” Did I say that out loud?
“Come here!” Edward pulled me on top of him lavishly kissed me. His right hand held my hips against his and his left hand squeezed my nipple between his fingers.
As if by impulse, my hips started grinding against his causing Edward to break the kiss.
“Ugh…” He licked his lips and tilted his head back. Gently, he pushed my chest away from his so that I was sitting straight on top of his, rolling my hips. I felt like I was on display for him, but I didn’t’ want this feeling to go away. It felt incredible.
“Ooh, Edward.” His hands gripped both of my hips and helped my hips move against his.
“Jesus,…you feel incredible.” If he could bleed, I’m sure that his lip would be dripping blood.
He sat up and wrapped his arms around me, sucking on my neck and shoulders. Our moaning was getting louder and I felt like I was on the edge of an orgasm. I started moving harder against him.
“I have to feel you, Bella.” He flipped us over and tore my panties off before I could blink. I didn’t even have time to be embarrassed before his fingers were on me. He crawled up to my side and laid next to me while his right hand exposed my southern region. His right leg draped over both of mine and I could feel his arousal pressing against my hip. Meanwhile, his middle finger slid between my folds and started circling my little bundle of nerves.
“Oh, God! Where did you learn that?” My back arched off the bed and I ground my hips into his fingers.
“You pick up a lot of things when you’re a mind reader. I’ve just never had the chance to test any of these skills. Am I passing the test?” He leaned his head down and drew my nipple into his mouth.
“Ugh! Yes…with flying colors!” I wrapped my hands in his hair and pushed him against my chest.
I was nearing the edge of release, but just out of reach. Edward’s motions never slowed or changed direction. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. Just when I was about to beg him to make love to me, he slipped one of his fingers into my entrance and started pumping his fingers at the same pace he was circling my clit.
“Ugh!!!! Oh. My. God!! Kiss me!!” His head shot up and attacked my lips. Before contact, I saw that his eyes were coal black and his lids were heavy. If he was feeling half of what I was feeling, I was sure that he wouldn’t stop there.
“Come on, baby.” He murmured against my lips.
“I’m….Aaaahhh!!!!” My muscles tightened around his finger I clutched the bed sheets, riding out my orgasm.
Edward’s hand slowed and he pulled it away from me. I wasn’t ready to open my eyes yet, so I let my trembling hand run up his leg and lightly brushed against his very hard erection. I felt his body stiffen, and opened my eyes to see his eyes closed and his nostrils flared…but he wasn’t stopping me. I pressed my palm against him a little harder and earned a groan from him.
“Uugghhh…” His breathing was heavy and his eyes were still closed.
Quickly, I slipped my hand underneath the elastic of his boxer-briefs and wrapped my hand around him. Holy…I mean, damn…he should be proud of himself. His eyes shot open and he wrapped his hand over mine, moving it up and down over him.
“Oh my God, Bella....” he licked his lips and gasped for air. “You have no idea how that feels…you’re so….so warm….” Our hands started moving faster.
“Mmm…,” I lifted my head and pulled his earlobe into my mouth. “Does this mean you’re considering changing your mind? I mean, if my hand is this warm…just imagine…” There goes my courage, again.
I sat up and straddled his legs. He pushed his boxers down a little so that I could fully see what I was dealing with.
“Oh, please tell me you’re reconsidering…” I pulled my bottom lip between my lips and stared at his rigid member.
“Yes!…Ugh!!! Yes, I reconsider! Fuck…” It was his turn to get tense and arch his back. He took his hand off of mine and let me continue on my own.
“You mean, you’ll finally sleep with me…now that you want it, too…” I squeezed harder and pumped my little hand faster.
“Yes!! I’m…Ugh!!…Almost!!!…Ugh!!!” I saw his hips start jerking and he looked up at me. I bent down, with my eyes connected with his, and licked the tip of his manhood, making him buck closer to my face.
“Sorry, Cullen. You’ll just have to wait until we’re married.” I smirked up at him, crawled off the bed, and, reluctantly, forced myself to walk towards the door…grabbing his shirt on the way.