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Emmett and the TV: oneshot

Emmett annoys Edward. Because, thats what siblings do, right. Or maybe because, It has something to do wit the 60 inch plasma Edward crashed in New Moon! Emmett misses his TV! (remeber Edward crashed something after the vote in new moon. Stephanie said it was a Tv.) This is POST-New moon a couple of days after the events that happened in New Moon. Please Review. I don't know if its funny or not. You decide. Please Read and review.

A/N: Ok, my first attempt in writing anything other than school essays and stuff. I just re-wrote this chapter and replaced it with this one because I thought the other one was horrible. Please review; I don’t mind criticism as long as it’s for helping me than offending me. I’ll gladly take pointers. ……. I tried making Emmet in character as possible, not too goofy and not to dumb acting, but not to serious. I don’t even think it’s funny, but… I got this idea from when in New Moon; Edward got mad and crashed the 60-inch Plasma TV specially shipped from Korea (because it wasn’t in the states) because mostly every one voted Yes, for Bella’s Immortality. And Stephanie said Emmet got annoyed!!! Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, Stephanie Meyer does! I’m jealous hah. I’m just toying with her characters. PLEASE reveiw...itll mean alot im begging. I dnt care if its a critism itll just improve my writing.

1. Chapter 1

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1110   Review this Chapter


Hell, I was bored to hell. Every one had something to accomplish or do. It has been only a couple of days since, that incident in Italy happened. A week, and some days have passed. I have to confess; I was disappointed, in my Rose. How could she not understand the love between Edward and Bella was real as it could get. She apologized of course. I’m thankful that Bella forgave Rose so quickly, but that’s what Bella does.

She’s too nice to hold a grudge; she couldn’t hold a grudge even is she wanted too. I chuckled at this.

Anyway, everyone was content, well, most of us were (Rosalie). Jasper’s guilt eased up, Bella made sure he was forgiven. And, every one was busy. Rosalie was tinkering, her BMW, for the first time in weeks. Alice, was on the computer doing a big fashion project, she was remodeling everyone’s wardrobe. She hasn’t done much or any fashion stuff ever since Edward went loco and decided to leave. Carlisle had a late shift, and Esme was looking over her blue prints.

And, Mr. I know how you feel, was reading a stupid book about people killing each other. Crazy much. (civil war)

So, I couldn’t wrestle or race, and I tried playing Chess 101 with myself, but it’s harder than it looks. I’m so brilliant that I can’t even cheat on myself. Ha ha. And, I’m not even going to think about reading a boring book like Bella.

Hmmmm, TV, my sweet and innocent TV dead!

Murdered and tattered by Edward. Poor kid, couldn’t control his damn anger. Hell, he should be happy he can live an eternity with Bella. He’s gone crazy, how could he! That kid need’s some anger management class! But, wait; we can’t just go send a hundred-year-old vampire to anger management class….

What’s he gonna say “ Hi, I have anger issues, because I’ve been alone for the past hundred years and I haven’t been touched by any one in a hundred years. So, I’ve become a crazy miserable vamp, who turns his anger out on precious electronics. Can you please help me with my problem, so I could enjoy my time with my astonishing brother Emmett” It would be a funny sight to see. Ha ha.

I suddenly heard a distant noise of a car pulling up, probably Edward coming back from Bella’s. I swear he has an abnormal obsession. He’s spending about… Ok, Bella sleeps about eight hours a night and seven times eight is 56.

Holy shits, he spends about fifty-six hours watching Bella sleep. What’s so special about that? I swear he’s got an unhealthy creepy, weird and unnatural obsession. I gotta help him out, talk to Carlisle and diagnose this, stalkerish obsession. But- wait I shouldn’t help him, he broke the beautiful 60-inch plasma that was polished and specially ordered from Korea. Urrggggg!!

The door opens, the traitor comes in! Hey, Edward, my lil sis still grounded? I ask mentally. His face twits into guilt and pain, he nodded. Damn. Couldn’t spend my time making Bella blush.

I, still had nothing to do, Edward sat across from me. “So, still going to Bella’s later to watch her sleep, man,” I hid a chuckle, he just rolled is eyes and nodded. I just stared at him and stared with seriousness in my face.

“Something, wrong Emmett,” He said.

“ Yes, Edward, Something is wrong! But, I don’t want to talk about it!” I said. And I continued to stare at him with a glare.

He rolled his eyes and headed upstairs. Probably, to change. I started to follow him. And imitate his every move. “Em, just leave me alone, please” Ha, I’m annoying him; he deserves it for breaking it. Before, he could say anything, I said,

“Why, Edward? Why! Why’d you kill it, Ed? You had to go all crazy and break it, after all the times I’ve helped you! You couldn’t at least consider how I would feel”. I still followed him; he was trying to get away from me.

“Why, you like torturing me like this? You couldn’t control your anger, you had to take it on my baby”!!!

Edward turned around “I don’t know what your talking about, I thought your baby was that atrocious Jeep of your. I never touched your Jeep. Leave me alone, Emmett for god’s sake”.

My baby was my Jeep, but I also love my Korean TV

“Edward I’m a vampire, we vampires have needs, we also need entertainment for we are destined to live for eternity. We need to do fun things like play video games, have wrestling matches to kill off boredom. But you know why I can’t play my new Guitar Hero” I asked, before he could respond I said, “You ruined it, crushed it, crushed my 60 inch Plasma which I personally had to order form KOREA!

“Do you know? Do you know how hard it was to get that TV specially because, Rosalie being all moody with me because I was so determined to get the sweet Plasma”, I said.

Edward stared at me for a minute, he glared at me, and “this is what this is about, for Holy sakes, Em, I said I was sorry. We had this conversation twice two days ago. Perhaps, you should order a new one! It is not that difficult, now why don’t you leave me alone and go away or I swear I will rip you to shreds. There are other TV’s in this house”.

“Oooh, touchy, touchy are we, well the other TV’S our too small and not shiny. And, Edward do you know how hard it was to order that big TV. It isn’t even in the states. It was so big, and crystal clear and you ruined my happiness Edward. Why?”

“Emmett, for the god of all that’s Holy leave me alone”, Mr. Angry-head said.

Well, I still need to take my revenge. I continued singing my alphabet in French. (so, he coudn't read my mind) I took a step forward and pushed him hard. He fell. Hahahahahah he fell!!!!!!

Caught ya, by surprise, there lil bro!!!

“ Well, maybe if you weren’t being a Bella stalker you wouldn’t have caught her contagious clumsiness ha ha” UH oh I think Eddie here is seeing Red again. I ran for it.

Can’t wait for the TV coming in a few days. I ran faster and faster. “HELP ME, CRAZY DUDE TRYING TO ATTACK. JASPER, USE YOUR WORTHY POWER AND CALM THIS CREATURE”!!!

“Please Jasper, help me, you owe me. Calm the stalker before he gets me hahaha”,

I heard Jasper chuckle, he wasn’t going to help me! Bastard.

At least I had a chance to annoy Edward, before I go back to boredom!!!!