Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Cullen Wife Swap

Summary:
Alice gets bored one day and decides to have some fun with the girls. They decide to do Wife Swap, cullen style! Slightly noncanon couples but NO THEY DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER! THEY ARE JUST HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF FUN! I set it as Teen because it has slightly mature theme. I figured i couldn't stick it in Adult, because i'm NOT an adult. So, teen is as good as i get.


Notes:
Okay, may get slightly rude in places. But i won't go into details. You see, Alice gets rid of one of the key rules of Wife Swap (read the first chapter and see)


1. Introduction into Wife Swap

Rating 5/5   Word Count 745   Review this Chapter

"I am so BORED!" declared Alice "The boys are out hunting! I wish I'd asked Jazz to stay. Why didn't I?"

"You said you had plans," I reminded her.

"I did! There's a shop that does great shoes and they decided to have a sale! Seventy-five percent off all shoes"

"So why aren't we there?" asked Rosalie, stretching out on the cream sofa.

"They decided not to open today," groaned Alice. She picked up the TV remote and began flicking through the vast thousands of channels, barely staying on one channel for a second before swapping. Then it stopped. Alice growled.

"I think it needs new batteries," I said. Alice threw it across the room, where it hit the wall and promptly, shattered.

"That won't help," commented Rose. Alice scowled and went to gather the pieces.

"Oh dear. I just replaced the last one! Which of the boys broke it this time? I'm sure it wasn't Edward. Who was it? Emmett? Jacob? Jasper?" said Esme, coming in from the garden.

"None of them. It was me," said Alice.

"Oh Alice! I'll have to get a new one again" she sighed and left. Alice plopped herself onto the sofa and scowled at the screen resolutely, unable to flick any longer. Music started playing loudly and Alice jolted upright.

"What is this?" I glanced at the screen.

"Wife Swap. Jessica and Lauren watched it when I knew them. It is pretty good, I must admit. Two wives swap lives"

Alice watched three episodes of Wife Swap and then looked at me. She had her scary, I-just-had-a-great-idea look on her face.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"We should do Wife Swap!"

"Apply for the show?" Asked Rose, her eyebrow raised.

"No! We should totally do our own version! Who's with me?" I thought she was insane.

"I'll do it," said Rose.

"Great. So we have you, me and Bella"

"What! I never volunteered! I think you're mad," I said, but I knew I'd never win the argument.

"Do you think we need anyone else?" mused Rose. Nessie entered the room with an air of someone who'd been listening at the key hole.

"I'll do it!"

"NO!" we all said at the same time.

"Why?" she pouted.

"One, you are not married" I said.

"Two, if we all swap so we end up with each husband, you'll end up with your dad at some point and that would be so wrong" said Rosalie.

"And three, we're changing the rules" said Alice with a grin on her face.

"What? Are we?"

"Yes! In the program, they have like an anti-sex rule. So, since that will be a major part of your first week with Emmett, we are abolishing that rule," said Alice. Nessie scowled and left, disgruntled.

"Let's write out the rules to show the guys so we can get them to agree," suggested Rose.

"Okay"

Rules for Cullen Wife Swap as approved by Rosalie, Alice and Bella.

The rules for Cullen Wife Swap are as follows. Each wife is to spend two weeks with an alternate husband. During the first week they are to follow the rules and routine of the original wife but during the second week they are in charge, though rules such as, I am allowed to come home and have sex with my real husband are strictly forbidden (Bella...). There is to be no contact made with the original husband unless it says so in the first week's instructions. Each husband will be given for all of his house occupants to record their feelings. That is a video diary. Not a let's film what we spent the evening doing (Emmett...). After the two weeks are up, the wives will move on to a new husband or their original husband.


We showed the boys when they got back.

"You want to do a Wife Swap?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"No" I muttered.

"Yes" said Alice and Rosalie.

"So, this means I get to do it with Alice AND Bella?" asked Emmett. Edward growled.

"Come on! It's just a bit of fun Edward. Don't be a prude. Okay, how about we make it interesting. The boy that has the best review from the wives can take the girl of his choice on a holiday and the others will pay. And the girl with the best review from the husbands can also go on a holiday of choice"

"So we might have to pay for two holidays?" protested Jasper.

"You might win," said Rosalie.

"Okay" Said Jasper.

"Hell yeah!" Said Emmett.

"If we must," said Edward.

"Let's do it!" said Alice.