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Cullen Wife Swap

Alice gets bored one day and decides to have some fun with the girls. They decide to do Wife Swap, cullen style! Slightly noncanon couples but NO THEY DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER! THEY ARE JUST HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF FUN! I set it as Teen because it has slightly mature theme. I figured i couldn't stick it in Adult, because i'm NOT an adult. So, teen is as good as i get.

Okay, may get slightly rude in places. But i won't go into details. You see, Alice gets rid of one of the key rules of Wife Swap (read the first chapter and see)

13. The meeting part 3-Alice and Edward's time together

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1290   Review this Chapter

Edward and Bella returned ten minutes later. Emmett and Jasper wolf-whistled at them. Alice and Rosalie nudged Bella and she shrugged.

“Are we ready to start this meeting then?” Carlisle asked.

“Okay, part 3! Edward and Alice together!” said Bella.

“Is it me or is everyone really eager to know what their spouse has been up to?” Carlisle asked.

“Wouldn’t you?” I said.


Alice s video account of Monday

“Wow, I like Bella’s life! However, I need to set a referee because I had a vision of Rosalie cheating. That’s not very fair”

“Ha. Looks like you got that wrong. I didn’t cheat. At all” laughed Rose.

“Fine! I make mistakes. I’m only…well, I’m not only human but you get my point” said Alice.

“You could say you’re only a psychic vampire but that doesn’t really have the same ring to it” said Jasper.

“Yeah. Oh well. Everyone gets my point right?”

“YES! Now can we get on?” said Edward.

“I don’t know why you’re so eager to move on. It’s not like you get to spend time with your wife afterwards” said Alice.

“Aren’t we starting tomorrow? I mean, it’s midday already. Theirs is no point starting today. Let’s do Tuesday to Tuesday instead” said Bella.

“Fine! Moving on!” said Alice, quickly.

“Now who’s in a hurry?” Edward teased. Alice growled.

Edward s video account of Monday

“It’s weird being able to read the minds of all in my house. I’m so used to Bella, this is weird. I miss Bella a lot. Alice is no substitute. I saw her visions of Rose cheating. I wonder if she will”

“I was one hell of a substitute! I could have replaced her!”

“No way Alice. Bella is my one and only” Edward said.

“Oh Edward”

“Oh Edward” mimicked Emmett. He and Jasper did mock vomiting.

“Well, you aren’t Bella’s one and only. Rosalie is!” said Alice.

“Will everyone stop talking about that!” complained Rosalie.

“Yeah! I only did it because of Alice!” said Bella.

“Fine. I’ll drop it” said Alice “But I’m willing to hook Emmett up on a date with Jasper if he goes on the turn”

“Alice!” everyone shouted.

Alice s video account of Tuesday

“Still having loads of fun! Today I taught Nessie textiles. That’s something I’m good at. Edward says that he specializes in science, history, music and maths. Bella does English and most other stuff, like geography. Nessie enjoyed her first textiles lesson. I appointed Esme and Carlisle as referees”

Edward s video account of Tuesday

“God, I miss Bella so much. I am dreading next week. However, it was quite funny watching Alice teach Nessie textiles today. That’s probably the only thin Alice can teach. I took over cooking today. I’m worried she’ll give Ness food poisoning”

“Cheek! I would not give her food poisoning”

“It pays not to take risks”

“So how come your wife has spent a lot of time in hospital because of your ‘risks’ and the one risk you worry about is a non risk?”

“Werewolves are dangerous! Excuse me for being protective!”

“I think you did the right thing. No disrespect Alice, but you aren’t the best cook” said Bella. Most of the room’s occupants nodded in agreement.

“Enough commenting on my cooking. Next!”

“There’s only two more of this week” said Carlisle “you lot didn’t record much”

Alice s video account of Sunday

“I can’t wait to set my rules! I am going to have FUUUUN!”

Edward s video account of Sunday

“I am dreading the rule set tomorrow. Alice will make my life hell”

“HAHA! I just got made to go fishing!” laughed Emmett.

“Emmett” said Bella, quietly.


“You do realize that you have Alice this week?” his eyes widened.

“WHY????????!” he shouted at the ceiling, falling to his knees.

“Okay, the rules were: Nessie needs more freedom!”

“I wholeheartedly agree” said Bella, surprisingly.

“So it’s not the overprotective family, it’s the overprotective dad?” Alice asked. Bella nodded.

“Second rule: Stop being miserable and have fun”

“When she says’s fun, she wants us to be like her” said Rose, irritably.

“We can’t all be that perky! It’s unnatural!” laughed Jasper.

“Alice? You only had two rules?”

“Yep!” she laughed at the others, who were staring at her.

Alice’s video account of Monday

“This vision is still blurry. All I can see is two people making out. But they’re too blurry! I need to be around vampires and no weird half-breed things! Edward is so mad; you can practically see the anger coming off him. Nessie and Jake are in the same room together. He’s so mad he’s gone out for a drive. This is fun”

“You assumed it was me and Emmett! So unfair! Why does everyone always blame me?” sighed Rosalie, tossing her hair and rolling her eyes.

“Well, you two are considered the most ‘passionate’ of the family. Though after being Bella for a week, I may have to disagree now”

“Shh!” hissed Bella.

Edward’s video account of Monday

“God! Can’t she see she’s too young? Bella and I agreed with Nessie that while she lived in our house, she’d refrain from having a physical relationship with Jacob! And she told us she wasn’t ready to move out yet! Why is Alice so intent on this? If it weren’t for the fact that she can’t see Ness and Jacob, I’d say that she saw a vision of Nessie pregnant and she’s trying to hurry it up because it means she gets to do some shopping!”

“You really think I am so shallow that I’d get my niece pregnant so I could shop?”

“YES!” everyone chorused.

“Well, I can shop anyway. In fact I do, frequently” she said, primly.

Edward’s video account of Tuesday

“I can’t believe Alice found out. She wasn’t too harsh on me but I bet she does something to Bella. That is typical Alice!”

“I chose to be meaner to Bella because Bella is stronger and has been through more”

“And also because I was technically obeying your rules Alice” Edward said “I wasn’t being miserable and I was definitely having fun”

“Eww” muttered Rosalie.

“Prude” said Bella. They both laughed at that. No one could accuse darling Rosalie of being a prude.

“What’s next?” Emmett asked.

“There aren’t any more! Wow!” said Jasper.

“Okay, so you kids can have fun with your original spouses tonight and then tomorrow a change over. Bella and jasper” Emmett whistled.

“Jasper has a thing for Bella!”

“And what’s wrong with that?” asked Bella, getting up and standing in front of Emmett.


“I am a very sexy lady and Jasper will be a very lucky man” said Bella. She sat on Emmett’s lap, facing him. She bent by his ear and did something that I couldn’t see. Emmett moved his hands to behind Bella. Then Bella pushed him away and went over to Edward.

“In your dreams Emmett. Never again. At least not with you” she said, cheekily before leaving with Edward.

“Close your mouth Emmett or you’ll swallow a fly” said Jasper.

“You can talk!”