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Cullen Wife Swap

Alice gets bored one day and decides to have some fun with the girls. They decide to do Wife Swap, cullen style! Slightly noncanon couples but NO THEY DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER! THEY ARE JUST HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF FUN! I set it as Teen because it has slightly mature theme. I figured i couldn't stick it in Adult, because i'm NOT an adult. So, teen is as good as i get.

Okay, may get slightly rude in places. But i won't go into details. You see, Alice gets rid of one of the key rules of Wife Swap (read the first chapter and see)

5. Alice's guide to life with Jasper

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While Bella went off to spend the next two weeks with Emmett, Rosalie headed off to spend two weeks with the family's emotional member. Under Alice's rules of course.

Alice's guide to life with Jasper

Right, well Jasper is obviously very emotional so you have to keep yourself happy and positive or he gets sad and then everyone else gets sad. So, get up about seven and spend the next two hours getting dressed. That includes make up and shoes. Make up is an essential! Each pair of shoes and tub of make up has a colour coordination label to show what it can be worn with.

Right, so when you've got dressed you and Jazz head off to the main house. You have half an hour until your shift starts at the boutique in Seattle as an assistant. Okay, so that last's until four and you head home. When you get home, either you play dress up with someone or you go shopping. But never do a serious shop during the week; there isn't enough time. So, just little things like five outfits count for weekdays. Never go shoe shopping during the week! So, you stop whatever you're doing at seven.

Then, you go back to your house and watch a film with Jazz. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, he picks. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, it's your choice. No films on Sundays. On Sundays, you go to the Nightspot. Jasper drives. Okay, so after you've watched your film you go up to bed and make love. Something important about this is to set the mood. If you do it full of love, Jasper will intensify it. So, if you do it really heated, you pick lust. Like I said, moods are important!

Okay, on the weekends, you don't have to work so you go hunting on Sunday's, and will more then likely end up getting into ‘lust' mode, because Jazz hunts without his shirt on when it's just us. You need to do your huge shop on Saturday and I mean about $3,000 dollars! That is a small amount. So on Sunday evening about five, you go and get ready for the club. You leave at seven and you leave the club at midnight.

Instead of going home, Jasper drives you to the lake. That is the best spot ever for making out and it is incredibly secluded. So, enjoy the lake and leave at about six so you can get ready in time.

In addition, any attempts to break these rules (BELLA!) will be met and challenged. Also, if anyone tries to steal my ruby high heels (ROSALIE!!!) and I will damage your car beyond repair. Or, burn your books if Bella gets tempted to steal my ruby high heels (as I know her Ferrari isn't really important to her). Oh, and be happy! Also, you are not to wear the same outfit twice in one week! Right? Are we clear? Enjoy the week and by the way, Rosalie, that tiara will drive Emmett into fits if you buy it on Thursday.

And...I love me present that you're going to buy me tomorrow.

Three words. Damn psychic pixie!