What If Edward was with his family when Alice had the important vision? Would he save Bella from her death? While you're waiting, why not leave a review? :D Chapter 18 up for validation!!!!
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11. Awake - Bella
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My brain hurt as the light scorched my eyes. But it wasnt the light or the pain that caused my to gasp. It was the pair of topaz eyes boring into mine. They were strikingly beautiful, the exact shade of eyes I thought I would never see again, the same eyes that starred in my dreams. Yet here they were. I didn't know who's face these belonged to but I was overjoyed to see them. It caused my heart to do somersaults. I looked up to the hair and my heart stopped. Bronze coloured hair shimmering slightly in the light.
Why was he here? Yes, I was happy he was here, of course I was. But why was he gazing into my brown eyes when for all I knew, he didn't want me anymore.
My heart convulsed at the statement. He didn't want me anymore. Was he trying to make me feel worse. My heart couldn't take that again, the utter feeling of despair when he left me again. There was only so much torture my battered heart could take, and this would push it to the boundaries.
His eyebrows knitted together as he stared at me. I wondered what he could see in my face. Could he see the dread and confusion that was whirling inside of me? I knew he was going to leave me soon but I couldn't understand why he was here after all that heart-wrenching time.
My eyes popped in disbelief as I watched his shaky finger glide to meet with my face. It surprised me to see him shaking, I could not recall a moment when he was not cool and collected. His ice-cold finger touched my cheek, sending electricity through it; I flinched at the cool temperature. I had forgotten how cold it was, like ice but I relished the feeling of it burning against my pale, drawn face.
He quickly withdrew his hand as I flinched and I could see hurt cross his features. How I wanted to smooth out those frown lines, but I couldn't. I couldn't face that rejection.
I watched in curiosity as his eyes flickered to the side of him. I followed his trail of sight to see a devastated Jacob sitting in a heap in the sand. His eyes were large and poofy as if he had been crying. But I couldn't understand why he was so distraught until I realized the one reason he would be. Edward. He hated him for what he did for me and I knew that Jacob actually loved me. He had helped me through my "zombie" period and for that I should love him. But I did not know whether I could let him in when Edward had my heart bound so tightly.
I couldn't bear to see him in pain so I smiled with as much love as I could muster as a thank you - for everything. His face brightened immediately as it was invaded by a huge toothy grin. He made his way over to me and sat down carefully beside me. I weakly lifted my hand up to his as he grasped it and kissed it lightly. I watched in awe at how out skins contrasted so widely.
"Oh, Bella. What were you thinking, Bella?" he whimpered.
What was I thinking? I was being stupid and selfish. Doing such reckless things just to see a hallucination of a man that didn't even love me anymore. I was carelessly trying to hurt myself in order to see something that wasn't even real. Sure, it didn't hurt as much but Jacob healed that pain. I nearly threw my life away not thinking of the consequences or how it would affect Charlie or most importantly Jacob. I was a horrible person.
I opened my mouth to speak but my throat contracted and burned. I coughed but only made it worse as I brought my hand to squeeze it.
"What is it, Bella? What hurts?" he spluttered.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the pain to come.
"Oh Jake. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry," I wheezed roughly.
A sharp wind punched me violently and I shivered. Jacob lay beside me and huddled closer, allowing his heat to absorb into my pale skin. I breathed in his musky smell and sighed.
"You have no idea how worried I was. Don't you ever do that to me again, understand?"
"Yes," I promised.
"I thought you were dead, Bella. It was the worst feeling in the world," he whispered.
My heart broke as a lone tear fluttered down his tanned cheek. I caressed the tear away with my finger and stared at him. For some reason, I couldn't take my eyes off him. His beauty startled me and a foreign emotion overtook my body.
A realization struck hard. I loved Jacob, truly loved him. It wasn't brotherly love or a friendship - it was never that. I was trying to put it off because of my other feelings. I couldn't see what was right in front of me. I needed him and he needed me, we completed each other in a way I had never thought. I was so in love with him. We were soulmates, we were meant to be together, but I didn't know if our love could fight the world.
I felt a small breeze hit my body and I looked up immediately. I watched in horror as Edward looked back and began to walk away.
I couldn't let him go. I couldn't let Edward go, not now. I couldn't willingly let him walk out of my life again. I couldn't take that pain again. So I did the only thing I could.
"No! Wait, Edward!" I shouted, hoping he would turn around and walk back to me.
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- 11 Jul 09
- 04 Aug 10
- In Progress