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Cliff face.

What If Edward was with his family when Alice had the important vision? Would he save Bella from her death? While you're waiting, why not leave a review? :D Chapter 18 up for validation!!!!

I own nothing of this. The characters are all Stephenie Meyer's. Please review, it makes my day.

12. Monster?

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"No! Wait, Edward!" I shouted, hoping he would turn around and walk back to me.

I sat up rigidly.

The new found love I had for Jacob somehow disappeared in that one moment. My pain, my surroundings, my feelings; the whole world all evaporated into the air. Time stood still. The only thing that mattered to me was that Edward would turn around.

Edward froze at my strangled screech but did not turn around. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest as my despair deepened. My eyes fluttered to Jacob who now had his fists clenched tightly by his sides. His eyes were wide with hate but also brimming with the raw pain I had just delivered to him.

Why was I such a monster? Why couldn’t I just let Edward go - after everything he had done to me? Of course it would hurt but, eventually, I would be okay. Not fully functioning or to the happiest I knew I could be - I be just okay. I could move on with my life, instead of living in the past and a world full of what-ifs. I could finally let Jacob in. He deserved it more than anyone. I did love him after all, but I knew it wasn’t to my full capacity - and was that really fair on him? There would always be that small place in my heart, in my affections, privately reserved for Edward Cullen. But I could be with Jacob - make him happy instead of constantly causing him pain. Maybe we could eventually be a family, something I could never truly have with Edward; but I knew I would always look back on my time with Edward and his family - it was inevitable.

He never loved me, never did and never would. But I was happy with him. He really was the love of my life.

However, he left me and didn’t want me anymore; he was bored of me, so why was I desperately trying to get him to stay? I must be some sort of masochist, going out of my way to get hurt by the man I loved the most. I felt instantly frustrated with both myself and Edward. Why did he have to come back? Why didn’t he just stay away and leave me to rot like he promised. “No more interference from me.” I snorted to myself at that. Why didn’t he just leave me alone and then this new found hope I was trying to stifle wouldn’t be shattered and destroyed in an instant. My heart would only be broken and wore; not mangled and completely crushed.

I ran my shaking hand through my soaking hair and massaged my aching forehead. Edward still had not moved which forced my heart to burn around the edges.

I began to remember those first few days I had moved to Forks. I had thought I would hate it and would soon go running back to Renee’, but I found something beautifully unexpected.

I found love.

Would I have been better off without finding it, without finding Edward? I suppose it would have been easier but it wouldn’t have been life. I shook my head fiercely at the thought of never meeting Edward. When life offers you a dream so beautiful that your heart can hardly handle the emotion, you should never regret it - never wish it away. I loved Edward and would always be thankful I had found him - even if I did move on.

The sky had clouded over; the darkness overwhelming me. I could feel myself falling apart, my heart burning worse that it had for a long time. The hole was pulling wide open as I reached over to hold myself together. I sighed bitterly and shocked myself at the clear anguish echoing in the sound.

And then, I watched with suspense as Edward turned ever so slowly to face me. I felt myself drowning in the topaz depths of his eyes as he studied my tortured appearance.