What If Edward was with his family when Alice had the important vision? Would he save Bella from her death? While you're waiting, why not leave a review? :D Chapter 18 up for validation!!!!
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I needed my escape. Just because Jacob wasn't here, didn't mean I couldn’t do it.
I looked down at the swirling ocean and sighed. The wind blew my hair furiously and it whipped against my face. I pulled the loose strand behind my ear and stood anxiously, waiting for my courage to build up.
I knew the real reason I was standing at the top of a cliff. It wasn’t to "have a bit of fun" like Jacob thought. No, it was much more than that. It was to hear him. The love of my life, my prince charming. To hear his sweet, velvet voice and not feel the pain rip my deadened heart even more. I didn't want to think of those lovely memories, but I didn't want to forget them either. I was terrified of waking up one morning and never remembering the bliss of those months; when I knew I’d found "the one.” This way, I could not think of those perfect moments, but not forget him. This was better than merely trying to recall him, his face, his voice; but to actually hear it, like he was standing right next to me.
My lungs burst into life and my heart burned at the thought of him. I shouldn't ever think of him. I needed to try and stop the pain. But what if it never stopped? What if I were to forever die inside at the mention of his name. I couldn't live like this for the rest of my life, finding any opportunity to hear him. I laughed bitterly at the thought, me risking my life everyday to "be" with him, in my mind at least.
It will be like I never existed. This recurring memory ran through my mind and I winced at the agony. I knew that was a dead end as soon as he'd spoken the words. What else could I do? He couldn't really expect me to forget him. He'd changed me, for the better. I'd never experienced love, and I wouldn't ever again, the way it was with him. I sighed at my fond scene, of us in the meadow, the first day he'd spoken the word love. And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
It was perfect back then. It was until that fateful birthday. How everything had changed since that moment. An unexpected tear rolled down my cheek and I realized I'd been crying. I longed to have him with me, to tell me that it was all a lie, that he did love me.
But I knew that would never happen. In my heart, I'd been waiting for the day he'd come to his senses. He'd realised how stupid he'd been, falling for me. Plain, boring, clumsy me. He was always too good for me, and he always knew that. I held no interest for him, that's why he left, why he stopped loving me. I wondered if he'd forgotten about me, but I remembered when he'd said he would never forget - but he's easily distracted. Of course you are, I mumbled. I rubbed under my eyes and yawned. I must have looked a wreck. I must of looked as bad as when he...
I stopped myself short. I didn't want to think about that night anymore. It would just bring nightmares tonight. I shook my head, realizing what I must have done to Charlie. How I must of scared him so much, how I must of looked when Sam found me. I caused Charlie so much pain, it must of broken his heart every time I flinched at the sound of his name, or walked down the stairs still the same as that night. I owed him more than that. But I couldn't help it. How could I recover from the abrupt loss of such a pure love? My prince. However, my prince was never to return to kiss the princess. He was gone forever.
I looked to the sky and shuddered. I had to do this now. I had to do this today. Without Jacob, the hole was getting bigger. Jacob had saved me from the darkness of myself. He lit the darkness, my personal sun. He kept me safe, made me happy. But without him, my already broken body was crumbling to pieces. This was the only way to save me now.
I smiled in anticipation as I stretched onto my toes and dove into the dark abyss.
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