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Cliff face.

What If Edward was with his family when Alice had the important vision? Would he save Bella from her death? While you're waiting, why not leave a review? :D Chapter 18 up for validation!!!!

I own nothing of this. The characters are all Stephenie Meyer's. Please review, it makes my day.

7. Despair

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2009   Review this Chapter

Edward's POV

In that one moment, my whole world came crumbling down. The moment her heart stopped beating, I felt like anything around me didn't matter anymore. I felt myself hyperventilating, gasping for air - even though I didn't need the air, it was meaningless. I tried to wrap my arms around me, to keep myself together but it was no use. I skimmed my fingers softly against her pale face, along her arms, down her legs. I had to touch her, to remember her.

I wasn't conscious of my half- nakedness. Although, passer-by's would. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything. All I cared about was her. Something snapped inside me. The realisation hit. I was sitting next to the woman I loved, not even trying to save her. She could still pull through, if I done something about it. I knew about CPR. I knew how to perhaps "bring someone back to life."

What about biting her? I wondered. But I simply shook my head. No, if her heart weren’t beating - it wouldn't work. The venom wouldn't even help Bella, her heart had given up - she had given up. But I wouldn't. She needed to be alive.

I squeezed her nose carefully, reminding myself that a simple slip in my concentration could break her nose. My strength could break all her bones without me even realising, that's how important it was for me to focus. Focus Edward. I chanted to myself. Using only a centimetre of my strength, I squeezed it shut and slowly brought my lips to hers. I couldn't go too fast, I could end up going into a frenzy and break her fragile body. A small shred of myself felt happy at this reunion, at me touching her soft lips with my own. I knew it was stupid, but if this was going to be our last time together, why not rejoice in it.

I breathed into her mouth, hoping that after the process she would pull through. Her body was not warm enough to make my throat burn and her scent did not bombard me like it used to. Even if she wasn't close to death, I didn't think I would care. I would smother myself in her scent, and rejoice in the aching burn.

There was no change in her body. So I traced her torso to the spot where you would begin pushing, trying to kick start their heart and pulse. I slowly pushed in and out at the spot, willing her to wake.

"Come on Bella. Stay with me, please. Do this, for me. I love you so much.” I murmured to her still body.

I felt frustrated at myself. That I couldn't use my full strength to save her. If I were human, I could use all my strength, without worrying about hurting her. I could only use an ounce of my power, although the frustration was beginning to take over my body. I was starting to lose my control over myself. My hands shook at the weakness - they so badly wanted to push her so hard, to bring her back to me.

I began sobbing tearlessly as I worked. I was sure I should be crying right now. Even it were impossible for my kind, I should be. Because I knew this was my fault. I should never of left her, never. I should have stayed with her, to indulge in her already short life. The time together would of been precious. I should have protected her; I could have stopped her risking her life, killing herself. Was she all alone when I left? Did she have any friends? I knew Bella well enough that she wouldn't of got over this, like I hoped she would. I was still hoping now, that this was all a big misunderstanding, and somewhere in this small town of Forks - there was someone who loved her. That she had found someone.

The image of her lifeless body in the ocean burned in my mind. I would never get that horrible image out of my head. I would think about it until my death, which I realised, could be sooner than anticipated. Again, I squeezed her nose and pushed my air into her. I would give her all my air if that’s what she wanted, what she needed.

In the distance, I could just make out muffled thoughts.

Sam, What's up?

Jacob, Where's Bella?

Urm, I don't know. I had to leave her for a couple of hours, to try and find Victoria, like you said. Why? Is something wrong?

His mind began to run in patterns, images flashing in front of my eyes. Bella, all Bella. Him worrying about her, his regret and guilt for leaving her alone while he worked. Bella was hanging with Werewolves?! God, I went away from this town to protect her and then she goes running to the first mythological creature she can find.

Jacob. I smelt a new track. A new scent. I don't know who it is, but it's a vampire. Now, wait Jacob.

I could tell that Jacob was about to run off, without orders.


Jacob had to stop in his tracks for that. This Sam, I suspected was the alpha of their little pack. Jacob had no choice - he had to obey.

I know you and Bella have become really close, since...since.

A flash of images ran through his mind, and I could feel both him and Jacob cringe at the sight of them. Agony swept through me as I saw. I saw the night I left her, and when Sam found her. She looked terrible. She was rolled into a ball on the floor of the forest. Not where I left her though. The skies were pitch black and I could tell she had been there for some time. She had been sobbing, and I had to watch as Sam picked her lifeless body up, and listen to her repeating the same thing over and over, He's gone.

Yeah, but please Sam, don't show me that. You know how it kills me.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It kills me too, seeing that. But she has got better since she started being with you.

Jacob smiled at that, his whole face lighting up, I could see that through Sam's mind. Then Bella's face, not purely happy, but better. She had a bit more colour in her cheeks, more life in her eyes.

Jacob, I'm going to come with you. To find this...Vampire. It seems that whoever it is, is at La Push beach.

Then they both said together, panic filling their voices, “Bella.”

This was going to be bad. I wasn't meant to be here. I had crossed the treaty line. I hoped they would understand, that I did it for Bella, not to start a war. And even if they didn't, they could kill me if Bella didn't pull through.

I could hear them running, closer and closer, and knew they would be here in a matter of minutes. What would I say? What would I do? Hopefully, they would understand, just at the sight of the heartbreaking scene. I was still pushing her chest and breathing air into her, I couldn’t stop.The footsteps were much louder, and I knew that they were here. They were only a few metres away

.“Cullen!?” They both shouted simultaneously.

Sam, if what Bella says is true, we don’t even have to talk. She said the bloodsucker can hear our thoughts. Nod if I’m right.

I nodded slowly. I was still crouched over her, making her be alive, half naked.


Interesting Sam, interesting! He’s on our patch. He broke the treaty-we should kill him now!

I froze. I wasn’t afraid of death, but I wanted them to help Bella. They obviously hadn’t seen her yet. I moved slowly to the left, just enough for them to see her body.


I felt Jacob running to her body. He brushed me on his way and I could feel the blistering heat of his fur.

Oh my god. What happened?

Now it was my turn to talk. “She dove off the cliff.” I whispered. My voice was heavy with despair and anguish.

She dove off the cliff. Oh Bella, classic Bella. Why couldn’t she have just waited for me? I said I would do it with her.

He trailed off into his worries and guilt. Sam stood motionless beside him.

Sam, I’m gonna phase back.

And before Sam could protest, Jacob was kneeling beside me in his human form. He pulled his shorts on and swept his hand across her forehead. Tears were leaking out of his eyes and he began talking to her.

“Bella, couldn’t you have just waited for me? You promised me, nothing stupid while I was gone. Bella, you can’t leave me. I need you. I love you and I know you love me too.” He sobbed.

Bella loved him too. I plunged into an even darker place than I already was.

“Well, Bloodsucker. What are you doing here?” he starred at me, anger filling his eyes.I gulped loudly.

“Look, I’m trying to save Bella here, not answer your questions.”

“Well, I’ll try and you can talk.” And the tone of his voice showed me that this wasn’t open to discussion. I had to control my anger, Bella was more important here.

“Alice saw what was to happen. I saw it. And I couldn’t, I couldn’t just leave Bella to die. I raced here as fast as I could, but it was too late, she was already in the ocean.”

That never stopped you before, leaving her I mean.

He was right, of course he was right. His thoughts shifted to that night again, and to the first few days she went to visit Jacob. Then to discussions Charlie had with Billy, telling him how Bella wouldn’t eat, talk, wouldn’t even read anymore.

“I know.” I whispered. “But it was for her own good.”

“Course it was.” He muttered, sarcastically.

Jacob was now pounding on her body, and bringing his lips to hers. I felt the jealousy enrage me. I scrunched my fists together so hard that the knuckles were white.

Edward. You know you’re not meant to be here. Sam’s gruff thoughts interrupted my rage.

“I know, but I had to get here. She was going to die. But if she doesn’t pull through, you can just kill me. I won’t put up a fight. I’ll have nothing worth fighting for anymore.” I murmured, facing him.

Jacob didn’t notice our discussion; he was too concentrated on Bella. Tears of both water and sweat were pouring down his face.

You know that it doesn’t work like that. I simply nodded at his statement.

Jacob had begun to sob and wail. He had lay down next to Bella, scrunching himself up and his head was resting on her heart.

It’s no use. Bella, please. I need you. God, please, bring her back to me. He looked up to the sky.I don’t think she’s coming back Edward. She’s dead. It’s too late.

“No!” I screamed.

The anguish rolled over me, like the sea dragging me down. The torture was too much. My Bella, dead. I knew she was to die later in life, but not this soon. She was meant to stay alive for many more years to come. Jacob was crying uncontrollably against her chest. I realised I wasn’t the only one who would grieve her death so badly.

I looked toward Bella, taking in her face, everything about her. I knew this might be the last time I ever saw her. Carlisle might not have been right about the afterlife for vampires. I hoped he was. Even if he were, I wouldn’t be with my Bella. But I needed to get away from the everlasting agony. Bella would be up in heaven, my angel. While I would go to hell, like a monster like me deserved. I went to touch her face one last time. Then looked to Sam and nodded.

“Yes, Sam. Kill me.” I whispered, hoping that wherever I went, I could simply glimpse my angel one last time.