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Serious Mistake

Summary:
This is during New Moon, Edward is away from Bella and he ducks into a building to escape the rain. Based on the song Serious Mistake by the Plain White T's.


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1313   Review this Chapter

It was raining out.

Of course given my current location this wasn’t exactly a surprise, it rained quite a bit in the area of Central America I was currently tracking Victoria in. After walking around in the storm for five minutes I began to notice the looks I was getting from the villagers who had all retreated into various ramshackle homes and stores in an attempt to avoid the worst of the rain falling on their heads. I couldn’t blame them. Most only had two sets of clothes and getting anything to dry in this area was nearly impossible.

Despite the fact that I could care less what they thought of me years of Carlisle’s patient teachings were making their way into my brain and I quickly turned into the nearest building in order to remain inconspicuous.

Once inside I decided to study my surroundings, and I was momentarily confused, why was I surrounded by hundreds of candles? It took me less than a second to realize I was in a Catholic church and to be appalled by the fact that my presence was desecrating this holy shrine. I had not entered a church since before my rebellious period, back when I still felt it possible that there was some hope of redemption for me, before I truly became a murderer.

I turned to leave, but one of the many flickering flames caught my eye, and I wondered who had that candle been lit for? Entranced by the small light I made my way to the bank of candles. I paused to consider them before picking up a long stick and turning to light three. I did not believe in the candles ability to do anything more than provide a small bit of light, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to light them. One was for my first family, my mother and father, because I’d heard that many people lit candles for those who had left them, the second candle was for my adoptive family, it was a mildly twisted joke that I lit a candle for the living dead, and the final candle was for my Bella, for her future without me.

After lighting the candles I looked out the stained glass window, realizing it was still raining far too hard for me to be able to leave the building without having to duck into another one five minutes later. I turned and sat in one of the rickety pews in order to clear my mind, not that I could ever clear it anymore, it was constantly filled with thoughts and memories of the love that I gave up.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to become lost in my memories of her, and time ceased to have any real meaning to me. I could have sat there for seconds, minutes, hours, or days, and likely would have as it was the first place I’d found anything resembling peace since I’d left the tiny wet town in Washington that held my heart, but I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder shaking me awake.

“I’m sorry, my son, but I feared you had drifted off, and I’ve found that these old benches leave you with a stiff back if you stay in them for too long.”

The priest looked to be in his early 70’s and his thoughts conveyed the same concern his words did. I gave him a meek smile, “Thank you father, I appreciate your concern,” I turned to look out the window and saw that the rain had stopped, “I believe that now that the weather has turned for the better I’ll get out of your way, I’m sure you have many things that must be done.”

I was about to leave when something in his thoughts caught my attention, ‘He moves as if he is dead inside, as if every step causes him pain.’ I paused for a moment and that was all the elderly father needed.

“I have surprisingly little to do as it happens. Tell me my child, how long have you been away from your home?”

Three months, seventeen day, four hours, fifty-two minutes, and thirty-six seconds, I thought to myself, but to the priest I merely said, “A while.”

He nodded to himself, “And why have you not gone back?”

I considered my answer for a minute, “Because I did something that I know hurt someone very dear to me, and I don’t deserve to go back, and I made her a promise I fully intend to keep.”

“It seems that you are punishing yourself. It is not wise, punishment is in the hands of the Lord, it is not for us to punish ourselves, who knows if we are taking everything into account the way he is.”

I smiled ruefully to myself, “You’ll forgive me father, but if I’m not mistaken men of your profession frequently give out punishment for sins, so you’ll excuse me if I take what you just said with a grain of salt.”

He chuckled to himself, “So you are right my son, but do not forget that I am learned in the ways of the Lord and I would wager that I have a bit more life experience than you, so why don’t you tell me exactly what it is you’re punishing yourself for?”

I sincerely doubted he had more experience than me, but I decided it wasn’t the worst plan to give him a version of what was wrong in my life, it may make him feel better, “Alright,” I sat back down in the pew next to him.

“How long has it been since your last confession?”

A hundred years give or take, “A very long time.”

“And what have you done my child?”

“I’ve lied.”

“Is that all? Well, that is not so grave, for the lie is the easiest sin to cleanse, all you need to do is tell the truth. Who did you lie to?”

“The woman I love.”

“Ah, did you do something against her wishes? Or did you break some precious memento perhaps?”

“I’m afraid I’ve done far worse than that. I left her, and told her I didn’t love her,” I paused, then figured, in for a penny in for a pound, “You see father I may appear to me the most wholesome and innocent of young men, but I’m far from it. I’m not safe for anyone to be around, I’m a hazard to their health, and I could see that I was hurting this woman every day by being in her presence, I should have just run away from the relationship before she got attached, but I’ve made a serious mistake, and now I’ve broken her heart. So you see father, I am not what you would consider a church going man, but I do have some morals, and I refused to see her hurt by me anymore. I deserve nothing less than the worst anyone can do, because in order to protect her I fear I may have made another serious mistake, but if I haven’t and she can truly be happy I refuse to take that chance away from her. I’ve caused her far too much harm already.”

I stopped my diatribe and turned to look at the father, silently begging him to see my side of the story when no one else had, to understand that I shouldn’t be around her, that she was far too good for me.

“So father, what do you think my punishment should be?” I looked up at the ceiling shaking my head.

“Well, my son, it seems that you have been punishing yourself better than anyone else ever could have, but I think you’ve come to the wrong place to seek forgiveness?”

“Then where would you suggest I go for it father?”

“To her.”