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Hollowed Existences

Summary:
~spoiler warning~ What would have happened if Bella hadn't jumped?...


Notes:
I sort of just started this little story for fun because I wanted to see as to where it might go. hehe xD. The chapters are going to be short, why? I don't know. My brain doesn't tell me its reasoning most of the time but I bet it has something to do with the fact that if i squished it all together it wouldn't sound right. Thats my guess. hehe xD. Oh and of course, I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or any of the characters. They are all Stephenie Meyer's creations. ^_^


12. Chapter 12

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1369   Review this Chapter

When I awoke, I noticed something extremely bright shinning through my eyelids. It wasn’t the usual white from the luminescent institute lights it was more golden. I opened my eyes and saw the sun in all its splendor shining through my window.

“Okay good, it wasn’t a dream!”

I slowly got up and put on my robe, headed for the door, and went downstairs… very slowly I’ll add. Charlie and Renee saw me, there were two emotions flickering across both their faces at the same time. One was that they seemed to be happy, probably due to my smiling, and two outraged that I had walked down the stairs by myself.

I sighed.

“I’m not a completely incompetent person. I can take care of myself you know and I don’t want help walking up and down my own houses steps.”

Charlie stood up.

“You could have seriously injured yourself! What would have happened if you had tripped and fallen?”

I shrugged.

“Well, if memory serves me correct, whenever I would trip and fall down the stairs, I would usually get a bruised… something. I don’t believe it would be the end of the world.”

I grinned. Charlie was furious.

“Charlie,” I pleaded, “how would you feel if you’ve been cooped up for a few months and were never even really allowed out of bed and then all of a sudden, you’re home and you have the ability to take care of yourself again? Please understand that it just feels so good to be able to walk and do things without an escort and them helping me.”

Charlie’s face softened and he nodded.

Renee just seemed to be watching the whole spectacle as if she were an observer until she stood up and walked over and gave me a hug.

“How are you feeling this morning honey?”

“Well, it is sunny out,” I smiled at Renee.

“Yes, quite an odd occurrence isn’t it? I suppose we should be worried because were bound to get terrible weather after this as payment for the few hours worth of sunshine.”

“Uh oh, I think you may be right. Well, I’m definitely staying indoors then. Last thing I need is to wind up in the hospital again.”

We all gave a few light laughs that soon turned to an awkward silence. With nothing better to do, and a stomach growling, I walked over to the fridge, removed the milk, grabbed the box of Frosted Cheerios, a bowl, and made myself some cereal. Charlie and Renee had offered to make it for me, but I just refused and made it myself. I sat down at the table and savored the taste of my long lost Frosties.

“Oh how I’ve missed you Frosties.”

Charlie and Renee smiled slightly then slowly sat down. I knew this wasn’t going to be good the second Charlie cleared his throat.

“Bella honey?” Renee asked hesitantly.

I looked up unwillingly, sensing the dread of an unpleasant conversation starting up.

“Yeah?” I asked through a mouthful of cereal.

Renee looked down at her hands and slowly clasped them together on the table.

“We need to talk.”

Definitely not good.

“Sure, what do you want to talk about?”

“Well honey…” she broke off.

Charlie looked at Renee and sensing she wasn’t going to continue, or more like couldn’t continue, he spoke up.

“We just wanted to talk about what had happened that night, in your room.”

I sighed.

And here comes another fight.

“Okay…”

I put my spoon back in my dish, got up and put it on the counter, far away from any possible soon to be flying fists and arms.

“Do you want to start asking questions? Didn’t the shrinks do a good enough good? Or do you just want to question me yourselves, figuring that I may have held something back? Please, do tell.”

They both flinch slightly. I hadn’t intended on my voice sounding so harsh, but let’s see you being battered with questions about what had happened for every single day for months, your nerves would be shot as well.

“Could you please just tell us why you did what you did? I mean I know we had had an argument a few moments beforehand but… I never thought I had made you that upset. Bells, I’m sorry. If I caused the reaction you had-“

“Charlie stop.”

I pushed my chair back, placed my head in my hands, and my elbows on my knees.

“You didn’t do anything, Charlie,” I said in desperation.

No matter what I said, I couldn’t prove my innocents. Even if I could find the email, even if I could prove that Jasper had attacked me, I didn’t want to expose him. I didn’t want him, or any of the Cullen’s to get into trouble. I could try to pin it on some mystery murderer but it wouldn’t be convincing enough. No matter what I said, I couldn’t prove my innocence, which only meant one thing; I would have to play along and plead guilty.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

I heard Renee stifle a sob as she rushed over to me and embraced me in a hug.

“Oh Bella, if you were so unhappy, all you had to do was call me. I would’ve come up. We could have had some fun and gone shopping in Seattle for a few days. We could’ve gone to get facials and manicures. All you had to do was call me honey.”

God, she sounds like Alice.

At that thought, I let out a small laugh and then exploded into tears. Renee hugged me and rocked me slightly. I felt Charlie place a hand on my back and rub gentle.

I realized they wanted me to continue. They wanted me to open up and confess why I’d done what I had done to myself. I quickly thought up of something and then slowly stopped crying. I took in a shaky breath (for theatrics of course) and cleared my throat.

Charlie and Renee didn’t leave my side. I looked at them each in turn and then let my gaze fall to the floor where it stayed.

“I was just so unhappy. Ever since he left… all I could do was to think about him. It just hurt so much to know that he left me and didn’t even love me anymore and all I wanted to do was to die because I couldn’t stand the loneliness. I didn’t want to be alone. Plus you have to admit, Forks can be a depressing place at times…”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Renee smile at me slightly in understanding and Charlie lookdown at his feet. I quickly continued.

“… and it was just a combination of things. I missed him and his family so much; this place was always so dreary which didn’t help my mood. I missed you mom a little bit. I missed Phoenix. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted out and I knew of only one way to achieve it.”

I put my face in my hands.

“Bella…”

I looked up into my mother’s face and saw that it was filled with a sadness I had never seen before. I immediately felt guilty. Charlie looked at me in shock. He had never guessed my pain went that deep. I slowly stood up, making sure I didn’t bump into either of them.

“I need to get a shower. I’ll be back down in a little bit and no,” I held up my hand towards Renee, as she was about to speak, “I don’t need help getting a shower but thanks for the offer.” I smiled slightly and exited the kitchen as quickly as possible. As I made my way upstairs, I re-thought about what I had said and with a pang, I realized what I had said was true. Well, no, I hadn’t tried to kill myself but the emotions… they had been my real emotions, and I had said them without even realizing it. I continued up the stairs and into the bathroom, all the while contemplating what I had said from the heart.