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Faded Emeralds

Summary:
Edward has finally made up his mind, but has Bella changed hers? If she decides against it, will he still be able to resist the wine?


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 3626   Review this Chapter

You've got magic inside your finger tips
It's leaking out all over my skin
Every time that I get close to you
You make me weak with the way you look through those eyes
And all I see is your face, all I need is your touch
Wake me up with your lips

Colbie Caillat - Magic

* * *

I stared into his ochre eyes. For no reason at all, the thought of him with green eyes popped into my head. I continued to imagine him then, his skin a slightly healthier color, and his eyes with no dark shadows. His bronze hair contrasting with his emerald eyes. The corners of my lips pulled upward, forming a slight smile, as I imagined his beauty even then.

“What are you thinking?” Edward asked interrupting my daydream. I blinked as I returned to his light eyes.

“Nothing.” I said, turning away from his intense gaze. My smile disappeared, leaving me blushing as Edward pressed for answers.

“Well it can’t be nothing, if it made you smile…and blush.” He brushed his icy fingertips along my cheek, then outlined my lips, leaving behind a tingling feeling where his fingers had been. “This is one of the things I’ll miss most about you.” he said examining my cheeks.

I ignored his last sentence. I wet my lips, as the tingling sensation faded. “Well…” I was never shy with Edward, usually I answered too truthfully, but in rare occasions like this, I felt silly and self-conscious. “I was just thinking about what you looked like with green eyes.”

“What?” I studied his face making sure I hadn’t said anything that would upset him. But his face was still kind, as he traced patterns on my arm with his fingers.

“On my birthday,” I cringed as the memories from my forsaken birthday came flooding back. “Carlisle told me that when he changed you-you had green eyes, like your mother.”

“Oh.” he stated less enthusiastically as he continued to trace patterns along my forearm.

My heart managed to stay considerable calmed as he lightly touched my skin. It did however manage to grow extra loud as his fingers reached my neck. He smiled as he listened, leaving his fingers hovering at my the base of my throat. I had forgotten how to breathe…again. But it only lasted a second, as his fingers continued back down my arm. Instantly my heartbeat started to clam.

I waited anxiously for him to say something besides ‘Oh’.

Did I say something wrong? I wondered only to myself.

I sat crossed-legged only inches from him. His legs stretched out on the dry grass. His shirt was unbuttoned, letting the sun show him for everything he really was. It was exceptionally sunny today, an absolutely perfect day to be sitting here in his meadow. It felt wonderful to be so freely here with Edward. The tall grass that surrounded us swayed in the cool breeze. The only sounds came from the wind rustling the trees, and sounds of my erratic heart as Edwards fingers gently brush against my skin.

“When you turn me, will my eyes look like yours?” I asked.

“Not immediately, but once you feed they will.” he said, not looking at me as he spoke. He continued to watch his hands on my arm.

I contemplated this for a while. Now imagining what I would look like with butterscotch eyes. I was already pale, so that wouldn’t make much of a difference. I thought about the icy presence that would radiate from my skin.

“Will my appearance - beside the obvious - change?” I wondered.

“Yes.” he simply stated. He was examining my hand. Taking each finger and kissing the tip lightly, then going over each crevice in my fingers. I felt my heart stop, as he kissed my fingers, but tried very hard to concentrate.

“Like what?”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait to find out.” he said never meeting my eyes.

I looked away from him. Now contemplating what about me would change.

He let go of my hand, letting it fall to the ground. Now he had moved closer taking my face in his hands. He started at my forehead, running his cool fingers against my skin. He exhaled, leaving an intoxicating cloud of his breathe around my face. He left me dazed and confused, forgetting my next question. His fingers slowly ran down my nose, kissing the end. He then returned to moving his fingers against my cheek, my jaw line, my chin. Then his fingers slowly moved over my lips. Touching every part of my mouth. His face moved in closer, his breathe completely clouding my mind, as our lips met. He didn’t kiss me lightly, his kiss had force behind it. But he knew me to well. Unknowingly he had wrapped his hands around my wrist, pinning them to my stomach. My first reaction to his lips were to throw my arms around him, but his iron grip prevented that from happening. But it didn’t stop me from throwing all of myself into his kiss.

He pulled away, leaving me breathless, like always. I gasped for air. My heart was going crazy, threatening to burst out of my chest. Edward smiled, as he watched me trying to remember how to breathe. He leaned back in. This time placing his ear on my chest.

“Ahh.” he said listening intently to my heart. “I’ll miss this the absolute most.”

He stayed pressed against me for what seemed like forever. He just listened as my heart beat loudly. Then started to calm. But even as it quieted he still listened. I stayed still while he stayed melted to my chest.

He moved away. His face held my crooked smile. I laid back. Fully extending my body out on the grass. Letting the sun touch every part of me. Edward lay right next to me. Completely still, like a statue.

“Do you remember anything about your parents?” I asked warily, breaking the silence. The only thing Edward said about his parents is that they had been long dead.

“No.” he said without emotion.

“Nothing at all? Nothing from the years before you had gotten sick?” I sat up quickly, now curious. He had to remember something.

“I don’t remember anything about them.” He continued to lay still, his eyes closed.

“So I won’t remember anything about Charlie, Renee, everyone?”

This was something I had forgotten to think about, something I had forgotten would happen. I constantly thought about being changed and sharing my life with Edward and the rest of the Cullens. But to often did I forget about the people that I’d hurt, and the many things I’d leave behind. My human memory for one.

“I can only remember pieces of them. I’m not entirely sure why I can’t remember more, like Carlisle. But as time moves on, as the weeks turn into months, the months years, and years into decades and centuries, the memories fade.”

I pulled my legs into my chest, and rested my chin against my knees. I had totally forgotten the fact that your human memories faded. That one day - far away from now- I would forget about my parents. I would forget the childlike qualities of my mom, and the protectiveness of my father, Gran, the people at school, of Jacob… I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. I pushed them back, knowing that they would betray me. If Edward saw my tears, my sadness for leaving behind these people in this life, then he would never change me.

But of course he sensed my heartache. His body moved closer, wrapping his arms around my shoulder and pulling me into his chest. I tucked my head under his arm, his embrace comforted me, putting me at ease.

“Bella, I knew this was a bad idea.” he said, while he stroked my hair back.

“It’s not a bad idea, just minor things I forgot to think about.” I sniffled, making sure those tears never spilled over.

“These are not minor things.”

“Yes they are. I still want to be with you forever and want you to change me, that hasn’t changed.” I took a deep breathe so my voice would stay steady. “These are things I forgot would happen. I just hoped that if I’m giving up this life, that I’d be able to always remember these people, even centuries from now. To always hold on to them, as they would me.” I could feel the tears about to spill over, but I quickly wiped my eyes, they would not betray me.

“You will remember for a while, a long while. But eventually they will fade away. But you will still have pieces of them, you always will. You will always have some kind of connection with them, as they are your parents. A bite can turn you into a vampire, but it transforms what you already are into something else, carrying pieces of you into the next life. Look at Carlisle, he still remembers a great deal about his father, the life he had, the beliefs he had then, and he is much older than I.”

His words comforted me in an odd way, of course he was right.

“Why are you being so calm about this.” I unwrapped his arms so I could see his face. “It’s almost like you actually want me to change.” I said teasingly, as his words worked it’s way in, making me understand.

“I know your stubborn and you’ve made up your mind. And I’ve finally made up mine too. There’s no turning back now.” he said as he looked deeply into my eyes, trying to find any last traces of doubt.

He wouldn’t. I knew I’d ultimately forget about this life, but this life was nothing without him. So none of it mattered. I would cherish what time I had with the people I loved. I’d remember everything about each person. The shapes of their faces, their eyes, their smiles, their laughter. My beautiful mother, my caring father. This would be the hardest on them…on Charlie.

Edward placed his lips on the hollow of my ear, moving down my neck, breathing in my scent. He stopped at the arch of my neck.

“There is no turning back, Bella.”

“I know.” I said quietly. This is what I wanted, he is what I want…forever.

He kissed me lightly on my neck where his icy lips rested. His mouth opened, releasing his intoxicating breathe, it surrounded me making me forget everything. Then his teeth penetrated into my skin. I flinched at pain. I could feel the venom from his teeth, flowing into my blood.

There was no turning back.

* * *

(Edward’s POV)

We sat in the meadow I loved to runaway to. I knew that Bella loved this place. That the first time we came here she fell in love. I loved being able to completely be out in the sun, never having to worry about any eyes seeing me for what I really am.

“Nothing.” Bella said. The blood rushed to her cheeks, leaving them stained with the sudden flow of red. I absolutely loved when her face was left red with embarrassment. It made my go insane every time. It only made her blood that more appealing. This was something I had come to control. But her scent was very strong and never faded. I touched her cheeks, memorizing the shade of red, and then watched as it disappeared.

“Well it can’t be nothing if it made you blush.” Not knowing what she thought was excruciatingly painful. I thought it would only get easier, but it never did. She was so unpredictable, which was one of the things I loved most. “This is one of the things I’ll miss most about you.” I told her.

We had come here for one reason and one reason only. Alice had checked the weather to make sure we would get one of the only days where the sun and air was this dry. I wanted Bella to be able to feel the warmth of the sun touching her skin one last time. To hold on to that feeling for as long as possible. And I wanted all the time to memorize every single thing about her, as she is right now. I knew Bella, head to toe. I had watched her sleep too many times, memorizing everything about her. But now I wanted to completely put to memory every last thing about her human self. I started with her arm.

I placed my fingers on her arm. Memorized everything. Every scar she had. Every part of her. She was mumbling about being changed wondering about how her appearance would change. I answered truthfully, and continued outlining her arm.

I moved up her neck. Her heart quickened as my fingers lightly pressed against her skin. I stopped and listened to her heartbeat. I quickly glanced at her face. She was concentrating on remembering how to breathe again. I decided to move on, letting her catch her breathe. I moved back down her arm.

I reached for her fingers and starting memorizing each crease of her skin. I kissed each finger, knowing it would make her heart erratic. It didn’t really have the effect I was hoping for. She was a little disoriented by my touch, but her heart stayed quite normal. She was too busy asking more questions about what she would look like.

I moved onto her face. The sun made her skin glow, only making her that much more beautiful. She would never know just how strong of a hold she had over me. How if she was to ever leave me I would never survive the way she had when I left her. I would probably do the cowardly thing and go see the Volturi…again.

I took her face in my hands and studied every line that played across her face. Memorizing how with every expression different lines showed in different places. I ran my fingers across her forehead. Looking at each scar, each imperfection.

I let out a deep breathe purposely clouding her mind. I couldn’t see her thoughts but could only imagine how disoriented that had just made her. She quieted. She sat silently while I put to memory her human features. I ran one finger down her nose, lightly kissing the end. Her heart jumped a little, I laughed silently, to soft for her human ears to hear.

I left her nose, and ran my fingers across her cheeks. Memorizing the exact place her blood would rush to. Then I moved down to her jaw line, running the back of my fingers along her jaw, chin, then back again.

Now for her lips. Her lips were always slightly red, making me yearn for there touch every time I saw her. I outlined her full luscious lips. I couldn’t resist any longer. I forcefully planted my lips against hers. Forgetting for just a second how fragile she was. I wrapped my arms around her wrist and place them firmly against her torso. A kiss as strong as this was sure to make her go crazy, pushing me to go beyond my limits. She fought against my hands, but had no chance of being released. Realizing defeat she didn’t give up, but instead threw her lips more intensely into the kiss. I knew she’d find a way around my hands.

I pulled away sensing my own lines being tested to far. Staying in this kiss any longer was sure to break me, forcing me to take her here, and that was never an option, not yet.

She released her lips from mine and fought for the air to return to her lungs. Again she made me laugh to myself. I loved the reactions I got from her.

Her heart was beating wildly beneath her skin. I placed my ear to her chest and listened. She instantly stiffened and let me stay there.

“Ahh…” I exclaimed. “I’ll miss this the absolute most.”

I loved the sound of her heart. It spoke just as loud as her words, sometimes louder. It would betray her, telling me the things she would not.

I continued listening as her heart calmed and became a normal rhythm.

I left her chest and smiled the crooked smile that constantly made her heart jump.

She laid down on the grass, relaxing, letting the sun engulf her skin. She glowed almost as brightly as I did. She was going to make a beautiful vampire. I decided to lay with her.

“Do you remember anything about your parents?” she asked abruptly.

I knew what she wanted to hear. That I knew them as well now as I once had so many years ago. That my mind was filled with sweet memories of our time together. But I wasn’t. I knew nothing of them. Only the things that Carlisle had told me.

“No.”

“Nothing at all? Nothing from the years before you had gotten sick?” she asked sitting up.

I knew that this was something she over looked. I wanted to lie to her and tell her that I remembered something about them. But the truth was that I didn’t.

“I don’t remember anything about them.” I didn’t want her to think that I was worried about changing her, so I stayed still.

“So I won’t remember anything about Charlie, Renee, everyone?” she asked almost panicked by the thought.

“I can only remember pieces of them. I’m not entirely sure why I can’t remember more, like Carlisle. But as time moves on, as the weeks turn into months, the months years, and years into decades and centuries, the memories fade.”

I opened an eye to see if she was ok. I could feel the sadness that radiated off her body. I didn’t have to read emotions to sense her anxiety.

I sat up and put my arms around her shoulder holding her closely to my body. She tucked her head into the crevice of my arm.

“Bella, I knew this was a bad idea.” I told her.

I should have just stuck by my decision to leave her human. I shouldn’t have given in the way I did. She wasn’t ready to give up the life she had. She wasn’t ready for this type of life.

“It’s not a bad idea, just minor things I forgot to think about.” She was going to cry. I hoped that she wouldn’t I could never handle her tears, they were sure to cancel our plans of changing her.

“These are not minor things.”

“Yes they are. I still want to be with you forever, and want you to change me, that hasn’t changed. These are things I forgot would happen. I just hoped that if I’m giving up this life, that I’d be able to always remember these people, even centuries from now. To always hold on to them, as they would me.”

A few tears escaped, but she quickly wiped them away. She never wanted me to see her tears.

“You will remember for a while, a long while. But eventually they will fade away. But you will still have pieces of them, you always will. You will always have some kind of connection with them, as they are your parents. A bite can turn you into a vampire, but it transforms what you already are into something else, carrying pieces of you into the next life. Look at Carlisle, he still remembers a great deal about his father, the life he had, the beliefs he had then, and he is much older than I.” I said, trying to give her some form of comfort.

“Why are you being so calm about this. It’s almost like you actually want me to change.” The tears had stopped.

“I know your stubborn, and you’ve made up your mind. And I’ve finally made up mine too. There’s no turning back now.”

I had made up my mind. I realized that life was not worth going through if she was not in it. I finally had made up my mind that I was to selfish to let her go. I wanted her forever just as she was now.

There was a slight pause. She was done with her questions. Her face looked as though she was concentrating on something, but had finally made up her mind that it was time. I took this opportunity and started at her ear. I moved down her neck, taking in her lovely aroma. If I was going to do this I would make this moment last as long as possible. I stopped at the arch of her neck. Her blood was clouding my mind. I was reading to taste her, to feel her blood flowing down my throat. I hoped that she was ready.

“There is no turning back, Bella.” I told her one last time, subconsciously hoping she’d change her mind. But the monster inside me didn’t care whether she yes or no, I was going to bite her either way. I had gone past the point of my limits. I already made the decision of having her blood, if she changed her mind I would have been fairly disappointed.

“I know.” she said quietly.

Thank goodness. If she had suddenly decided that she didn’t want to be changed there would have been no way of getting me off her.

I kissed her one last time, and listened as her heart made one last jump of excitement. It continued beating slowly, I took in each beat. I opened my mouth, then slowly let my teeth pierce through her delicate skin. She flinched slightly, but kept still and quiet. Her blood instantly came rushing past my teeth and tongue. It flowed down my throat putting out the raging fire that had burned for her for so long.

Finally…