Leah's life one year after breaking dawn. An imprint story
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, and she created a wonderful universe for us to play in.
1. Chapter 1
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Another nightmare, another dream of how life was and the memory of how it was all taken from me in an instant. As I still lay in bed, I wiped the tears away from my eyes that were released during the flurry on emotions in my sleep. I still kept my eyes closed tight, hoping to block out the reality of life that brings the same emotions to the surface during the waking hours. The difference is that the sorrow comes out as sarcastic or down right rude remarks designed to kept people away from me instead of silent tears. It is easier to never have people get close to you than to endure the pain of I went through again.
After about a minute, I rolled over on my bed towards the nightstand and opened my eyes to check the clock. It bright LED lights read 6:25, only five minutes prior to when I was going to have to wake up anyway. Might as well get out of bed, I was not going to get any more credible rest in only five minutes and being alone with my thoughts would only make my mood for the day worse.
I had just moved to Seattle last week and had gotten a small apartment near the University of Washington campus. I was going back to college, the first step in regaining my life after Sam left me for Emily. It was the first step in regaining my own life after dealing with the blows of world I belong to.
I was a barely a freshman in college and dating Sam when things started getting a little weird back at my home in La Push. Sam had started acting strangely and the many members of the tribe were gossiping about what illegal activities he had gotten himself into. He would disappear for days at a time and when he came home he offered no explanation of where or what he was doing. He constantly seemed to be hiding something, even from me. But despite that, I shot down any rumor I heard about him and defended his honor with the fiercest conviction.
It was due to my worry and need of a friend, I invited my best friend and cousin Emily to visit for a weekend, thinking Sam would once again disappear. When she arrived, it brought a sense of peace to at least have someone to discuss my girly problems with and not including rumors of misdeeds in them. However, only hours after she arrived Sam came home and saw her. Sam never left the house the entire weekend, and I could slowly feel my heart breaking. Sam had fallen for Emily.
It took a mere week for Sam to leave me and start dating Emily, a mere month before they announced an engagement. First my heart was broken, then it was torn into a thousand little pieces for everyone to see. My emotional state was shattered, no condition to continue with school with any expectation for any actual benefit to come out of it. I dropped out midterm, my education was the second causality of my heritage, my heart being the first.
I had stayed in La Push afterwards, trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life. I had lost my only friend and the man I had been sure I would spend the rest of my life with in one afternoon. I turned back to the basics, my immediate family. I focused all my hostility and anger towards what I had lost into becoming the very protective older sister to my brother Seth. I went through pain and loss that I was going to make sure he never had to feel. He was a happy-go-lucky kid, and he didn’t need life to ruin his outlook on life.
I was slowly healing; slowly putting the pieces back together. I even was even working things out with Emily. I was going to be a bridesmaid in her and Sam’s wedding. She deserved happiness and my love. I could put on a brave face, especially with the one she put on after that “bear attack.” But my life got ripped apart again, right when I seemed to be able to move on.
One night, Seth and I were running temperatures and not feeling well at all. Our mom, instead of calling a doctor, called Sam and Billy Black of all people. Sitting around our beds with our parents in attendance, they explained that what was happening was ingrained in bloodlines, we were turning into werewolves. Sam was a little curious about me though, apparently in a world of mythical freaks, I was going to be the greatest of them all. No one had ever heard of a female werewolf.
After he explained what was currently happening, he went on about the vampires. We, as werewolves, were duty bound to protect our people against vampires. He explained the treaty with the Cullens and how they fit into this whole world we were introduced to. He explained imprinting, and how he imprinted on Emily. Sam offered me his deepest apologies and told me he still really did love me, but the power of the imprint is amazingly strong. Then he explained to Seth and I the pack mind, and how all the minds were connected in thoughts. It was bad enough to hear and relive my heartache again while turning into a mythical monster, but to know that once it was complete I would experience those thoughts in my own mind from his perspective sent me overboard. Every emotional response from anger to sorrow in the most intense forms that I had felt since he left me took over my body and suddenly I exploded.
I exploded out of my human body and clothes and into a wolf the size of a small horse with grey silver fur. The image of this immediately caused Seth to go the same. Seth had a sandy colored fur and the same goofy expression on his face as a wolf that he always had as a human. All Seth thought about was how awesome this was for the first few seconds in our new life.
However, the happy attitude didn’t last for long when we looked over across the room at our father and mother. Our transforming into giant wolves had impacted him deeply; he was having a massive heart attack.
Our mother did what she could to help him as Sam and Billy tried to center us as much as possible to shift back to our human forms. Seth immediately was able to regain his human shape and ran to call a doctor as soon as he covered himself up. As wolves we have superior hearing and I could hear his heart and his breathing stop, I knew help would be too late. He was the third causality in my life because of my unique heritage.
I had grabbed clothes off the dresser in my wolf mouth and ran out the door. I continued running for miles into the forest until I was certain I was alone. Only then was I able to get enough control over myself to regain my human form. After changing, I slowly began to cry and had even more hatred built up inside of me than ever before. I was forever bound to Sam thanks to the Cullens. My instinctual hate of vampires was strong, but my hate towards the Cullens was stronger. I blamed them for my heartache; I would still be a normal girl if they never showed up. I probably would still have Sam, and definite still have my father.
But the pack mind worried me the most. Always hearing Sam’s thought worried me and caused knots in my stomach at the thought of the connected mind. I decided then and there that the snide remarks and sarcastic comments that had been my verbal shield during the break up needed to be mentally up when in wolf form. I needed to make sure no one could break down that wall when more than ever I needed it up. I blamed the bloodsuckers for causing me to become so jaded towards life that I even needed to turn my thoughts into bitter representations of reality.
When Jacob broke off from the pack to protect his leech-loving friend Bella from Sam and the rest of the pack, Seth insisted on joining him. Seth foolishly had become friends with our mortal enemy and loved Edward like the brother he never had. Protecting the Cullens from harm came to him as strongly as protecting the tribe. Protecting Seth was more important to me than protecting the tribe, which meant I followed him shortly after. Plus there was an added benefit of no longer being connected to Sam’s mind. It did reek of problems though, not the least of which was being a faithful guard dog to the Cullens while they played house.
Being in Jacob’s pack though, let me be free of that one connection I needed to be free from to begin to heal. Plus being in a pack without anybody that had imprinted yet gave me a stay from those emotions for a little while. Given the responsibility of Beta made me feel wanted again for the first time since Sam left, even though it was not the same feeling of being needed or wanted. Even though I was needed to protect the very thing that the whole of my being hates, I at least belonged somewhere.
When Jacob imprinted on that half-breed leech, I almost lost it again. With the addition of Quil and Embry to the pack, I again was finding my emotions highly charged. At least with Quil, it also provided some comic relief with his imprint. Maybe I was lucky not to have imprinted on a toddler, or a half breed bloodsucker infant. But even then, I wanted to cry, and the more I wanted to cry the more harpy I became. Everyone can find love, but not Leah Clearwater. Everyone imprints to further the werewolf line, but not Leah Clearwater. Thanks to being stuck at the same age, I am unable to have kids of my own. I was more like the vampires than a werewolf with my inability to reproduce. The fourth causality of my heritage.
After the whole Renesmee incident and Volturi threat were taken care of, I had brought up again to Jacob the idea of me going back to school. I was thinking of going to go to a community college near by since money was really tight since my father died, but I felt that regaining my education was the proper step to getting my life back. It was after all where I left off before I lost my heart.
I decided to try a long shot and apply for University of Washington as well, since there was one scholarship I was applying for that would pay for all expenses there. Getting into University of Washington was surprisingly easy. I have my theories, none of which include me actually earning the spot. Getting the scholarship was a breeze too, but I knew applying for it I was uniquely qualified for the funds. There are not too many Quileute women who have lost their father in the last two years and wish to try college for the second time, the only requirements to apply for this full ride scholarship with living expenses. I have a theory on this one too, especially with it being Seth that found this little known scholarship for me.
Last week I made my good-byes and moved to Seattle. I was to keep a cell phone with me at all times in case the pack needed me, which having a cell phone was surprisingly a term of my scholarship as well. I was also to phase in the morning to check in and with the pack and whoever was on patrol. I kept the position of beta, and in case of an emergency, Seattle to La Push would only be a short run. The four-hour car ride would take me a little less than an hour by paws, but with 15 other wolves, La Push was still protected in my absence.
Today was that first day back to college, I was up and ready to begin the routine of my new life. I first started with the phasing, checking in with the patrol. I was happy to find Seth’s voice the only other one in my head this morning.
“Checking in, heading to class shortly,” I said mechanically. I was not quite sure why I needed to phase to check in and why the phone wouldn’t work. I suppose it was because Jacob thought it was important to know anything I wasn’t willing to share with the pack that would affect the pack.
“How is it going sis? How is the city?” Seth replied, as happy as ever. I am glad to see I succeeded in that aspect, even if he smelled disgustingly sweet all the time from all his association with the Cullens. Regardless though of who was on the receiving end of my wolf signal, or the happiness in the voice, I still didn’t want to do this. It takes a lot of strength to make your thoughts as snide as I wanted to in order to maintain my façade.
“Not socializing right now Seth, is there anything I need to know with the pack.”
“Nope, Jake and Renesmee went for a hunt late last night. I expect mister sleepy head will be out until noon.”
“I don’t care, all I want to know is am I needed there. I don’t need a detailed account of the leeches or Jacob’s lives”
“Geesh sis, calm down. Go for a hunt, chase your tail, do something.”
“Enjoy sch…” Seth tried to get in before I phased back into a human, but I didn’t care.
I took my time getting ready for school; I didn’t have class until 10:00. I had three hours to get ready, but in reality I barely needed one. I wanted to get a feel of the campus before my first class and I wanted to make sure I didn’t have to be on wolf alert outside of La Push. I did a quick tour of campus thankful I didn’t smell any odor of a vampire or any other type of mythical creature I knew about.
After checking the time and seeing I still had an hour to kill, I stopped by the cafeteria to get a big hearty second breakfast. Thanks to a wolf metabolism, I really could eat whatever I wanted and maintain my lanky girlish figure. After finishing the meal, I figured it was time to mosey on over to my first class.
Checking my schedule I had folded up neatly in my bag, I saw had English 101 first. The English building was literally the building next store, so I meandered over there slowly, enjoying my freedom from the pack. I enjoyed getting a chance to be me again. I missed my family, but the liberation of not being constantly surrounded by people who knew all the chaos and tragedy of my life was a far superior feeling. The liberation of being around people that haven’t mated for life yet also was a relief I was incredibly thankful for. The average freshman was barely out of high school, single and carefree. They were definitely without a mate, especially the supernatural kind.
When I got to the classroom, the previous class seemed to have already evacuated. There was definitely the smell of new book bags and freshly sharpened pencils lingering in the air, so it was clear that the classroom in fact was used earlier in the day. The chairs were all over the place and not a single one occupied. I let my desire to be left alone combined with the wolf instinct to be on guard guide me in choosing a seat carefully. If I was lucky, the professor would make them assigned seats and the strategic positioning of myself today would benefit me all semester long.
Looking at the best options for seats, the back row was against the wall and farthest from the door. Easily defensible with no one coming from behind, and only the loners who wish to go through class with minimal participation and minimal contact with classmates sit in the back. The question was what seat, but there was one more appealing than the others. One seat was next to the window, an escape route in case of a danger. True it was on the fourth story, but if I needed it to be an exit, it would work. I wanted my space to be defensible, but only idiots corner themselves against a wall with no escape.
Shortly after taking a seat, the other students started arriving. First it started with two very socially gabby girls who took middle seats. Then a few guys that look if the started the day with football in a wet muddy field. It followed by a herd of other students chatting about what college would really be like as the excitement took over. The middle seats were taken up first, my guess they were afraid the teacher would bite. Then the front seats filled. The backseats went last, but whenever someone tried for the seat next to me I let out a low growl. I wanted to make it clear that I was not here to deal with the typical college scene. I was here for two reasons only, to get an education and to get my life back.
By the time the professor walked in, there was only one seat left. I was worried that the school filled the class according to the seats, but with Professor Stewart starting class five minutes late, it looked like I was in the clear.