IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING LET IT GO...
Jacob has just left Leah so he can go with Renesmee, he had told her that he would stay forever and break the imprint... This is from Leahs' Point of view.
1. ...IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT'S YOURS...
Rating 0/5 Word Count 849 Review this Chapter
I sat on the beach, depressed, scared and heartbroken because Jacob had finally taken the last of me. He finally left me on the side and ran into the sunset with Renesmee Cullen, his little imprint. I am now in the exact same predicament as i was with Sam and Emily.
I sat and watched the big roles of water, flood into the beach, crash then fade back out. This was my life expressed in the waters of La Push. I will build up so much courage and force to roll in but then hit something, in this case; Renesmee, then roll back and cower away from what may damage part of me. I am afraid of being broken again.
I decided i was going to listen to my music, remind me of the olden days, where i could be care free and happy. The first song that came on was an old time classic (to me anyway,) ‘Don’t Cry Out Loud, by Elkie Brooks.’ I played this exact song when Sam told me about Emily. I listened to the words and thought about them,
‘We don’t cry out loud, we keep it inside. Learn how to hide our feelings, fly high and proud.
And if you should fall remember you almost had it all.’
She spoke the truth, i had to learn how i could hide my feelings away from everyone, have a strong, careless charisma surrounding me. I want people on the outside to know how bad being heartbroken hurts, i want them to see and feel it as well.
Jacob felt bad; i felt worse! He told and swore to me in the beginning,
'I will do my best to stay with you; because i love you with all my heart.’
Another cheesy line he stole from a film, no doubt. As i thought about Jacob and Sam, i felt a single tear fall from both eyes, as if it were a tear for them both. The tears slid slowly down my copper, brown cheeks. Rejection is painful.
As my song continued to tell my life, i thought about Jacob and my childhood together. He always told me that he would marry me, make me the happiest woman on the planet. I thought deeply about where and why it went wrong and never came to that; i was a young teenager when i began to date Sam. I will always remember the pain that shot across Jacobs face when he caught Sam and i on this beach, holding hands and walking through the water. He never spoke to me after that, he only said limited words because his father forced him to. He would come around and talk with Seth, but he never looked at me. I knew it pained him but it also pained me, to see one of my childhood friends upset with me.
Once i broke from the memory, i noticed that the sky was getting darker, so i decided it was time for me to get back to the house so that Seth or mom didn't get worried.
As i walked down the street, kicking a pebble along with me, i happened to raise my head to see inside a front window. I saw a man sitting on the sofa with his wife next to him; they were laughing and holding hands. There were two young children sitting in front of them, also laughing with each other. The happy family.
That was how i imagined my family with Jacob when we were a little bit older. However, that vision was now fading further and further away. I was never going to get my dream, because no boy would stay long enough to make it ever happen. There was no reason in life for me anymore. All my dreams and hopes are crushed quickly and quietly, so i can no longer feel any pain. My only true reasons now to live are Seth and Mom.
When i arrived home, i said a quick hello to Seth and Mom in the living room, but then disappeared upstairs into my bedroom. I sat on my bed and thought about why i was always the one that was left unhappy and broken; Jacob did not know how to break an imprint. He gave in like a mother not wanting to hurt her child! He gave in to his nightmare.
Do not get me wrong Jacob has always hated his options taken away from him; he always told me that he thought it was unfair. That was until he saw little Renesmee Cullen; perfect in every way. He vowed to me that he would never dream of breaking me like Sam.
“I am not like Sam.”
He always said. He said that if he had to imprint on anyone; it would be me, then he would be glad to imprint. Being myself, i laughed at him and said,
“You are great, Jake!”
He kept his word, up until two years ago. Jacob had always said every time we parted for the night,
“Love you Leah.”
I didn’t realise until now; he actually meant it.
1 2 3 4 5
- 22 Jul 09
- 31 Jul 09