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Nessie Gets...The Talk...!!

Edward & Bella have planned to Give Nessie the Sex Talk...But only thing's don't go according to plan... And today turns out to be the most AWKWARDEST DAY EVER!! And yes...Emmet did NOT make it ANY easier... :P Rated Teen For The...Err...Stuff :P R&R PEOPLES!!! Okaiiz Enjoy! xxx

Okay So yeah..Uh...Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW! And Rate..:P :D!!

1. An Extreamly Awkward Day...

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1587   Review this Chapter

Bella’s POV

Okay so…Today was the day…The day I’d have to finally give my 13 year old daughter the…Talk...I paced up and down the living room nervously. I mean how the hell can you do this? I don’t know what I’m going to say! And she’s going to be here in 5 Minutes! Edward’s picking her up this very moment.Of course the whole family thought this situation was FUNNY! Yea, Yea…Except Edward and I Jasper was in the living room watching me pace up and down, he was trying to calm me, but we both knew it wouldn’t work. He was smirking and sniggering away and Emmet sat on the couch with Rose, Emmet said he wanted to be there…For the ‘Support’ but we both know he just wanted to see it all and make fun of it all…Ugh! I can hear the Jokes now…

Suddenly I was interrupted from my inner conversation and dragged back out to reality. Oh, no… I can hear the car, there here. Shit, Shit, Shit! I speeded around the house nervously. Emmet burst out into a roar of laughter watching me, and Jasper joined in. Rose just glared at him.

Nessie was mumbling away to Edward about her day at school and how cute this boy was, but she’d never compare him to Jacob… Edward laughed at her statement and opened the front door.

1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps, 4 steps, and Nessie burst through the door grinning.

“Hey everyone what’s up?” She studied are expressions then crossed her brows.

“What Is up?” She murmured

“Nessie we have to err…Talk to you…” I nodded towards a chair for her to sit down and I took my seat beside Edward. He held my hand and kissed the top of my forehead gently and then rubbed my back comforting me.Everyone glared at me. Jasper was trying not to laugh and so was Emmet, Rosalie smiled, encouraging me whereas Edward and I had the same anxious expression.

“Well… What’s wrong?” Nessie asked impatient worry spreading across her face.

“Okay…” I breathed

“Nessie…We’re going to give you…The…Talk…” I looked at her face. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She quickly closed it and gulped and started fidgeting around in her seat. Emmet and Jasper couldn’t compose their selves any longer, they both burst out to a large roar of laugher, rolling around in their seats. Suddenly Alice appeared at the bottom of the stairs and walked over and sat next to Nessie.

“Guy’s you aren’t making this any easier so shut up.” She proclaimed and Jasper obeyed whereas Emmet did not. Rosalie nudged him in the ribs and he quickly snapped his mouth shut grinning.

"Ok. Well then Bella… You can begin.” Alice sung unable to hold in a chuckle. I rolled my eyes at her. Everyone stared at me and I was starting to get anxious again. If I where Human my heart would probably be pounding out my ribs by now. I inhaled a large breath and looked up to Nessie to begin, but just as I opened my mouth to speak Jacob walked in.

“Hey Guys! Hey Nessie!!” He smiled, Nessie jumped up and sprinted to were Jacob stood and held him close.

“Thank God you’re here.” She breathed and I couldn’t help but blurt out a small giggle, everyone joined in.

“Oh well, I’m happy to be here too” He grinned

“There giving me the…” She gulped “The talk…”

Jacob exploded into a roar of laughter and collapsed on the sofa and Emmet, Jasper and Alice joined in. Nessie smacked his hand

“Jacob! I need the moral support!!” She moaned.

“What ever” He chuckled as she sat down next to him Nessie narrowed her eyes and turned childishly away from him. Emmet suddenly got out his chair and dashed up stairs, Edward growled

“Emmet I swear if you do you won-“

Emmet charged back down stairs with a box.

“Ok Nessie basically you don’t do any of the following things you see.” He opened the box

“What-“ Me and Nessie both began but stopped wide eyed as Emmet pulled out and Action Man and a Barbie doll.

Jasper laughed his ass off on the sofa and Alice smacked him but he couldn’t hold it in. Edward jumped off the sofa to grab Emmet but Emmet stopped him.He sat back down to me,

“Emmet is supposedly going to be giving the sex talk now, but he’s doing it HIS way…” Edward hissed.Nessie shook violently in her seat staring wide eyed at Emmet and the Dolls…

“Okay kiddo so this what you can’t do with Jacob or any other boy until your” He counted in his head “Hmmm…21? Or 25? Whenever you want.” He smirked evilly while the rest of us froze glaring at him.

“Okay so you wanna make sure you don’t do this” He opened up the female Barbie’s legs and opened the males legs up and thrust the male into the female several times making…Sex noises while he did it.

“Or this” He made different movements with the dolls showing different sex moves too.

“So yea, basically if you’re having sex, a Mans penis gets inserted into the woman’s vagina and they move up and down because they like it.” I smacked my hand over my head and Edward gazed at him shocked. As everyone did.

“And if you DO have sex in the future with Jacob and you don’t want to have a Kid then either wear a condom or take The Pill.” He smiled

“And yeah if you’re into the kinky stuff then you can always do some of these things like role play and handcuffs and-“ I cut him off

“Okay! I think that’s enough I think she got the point…Err…” She was frozen and everyone else was staring at Emmet shocked. Emmet seemed happy and untroubled.

“Nessie you are free to um leave…” With that she quickly got up and sprinted from her seat but Emmet grabbed her shoulder and turned her around to face him.

“Also If you’re ever wanting any tips or moves come to me and I’ll give a few pointers and oh yeah wait-“ He bent down and picked some book things from the box. Oh fuck! Fuck fuck, fuck fuck, fuck! Shit what the hell is he doing! Giving my daughter 4 sex for dummies books!!!I glared at him stunned.

“Emmet!” I yelled but he handed them to her casually and gave her a wink.

“There ya go! They got a bunch of good moves I think are pretty good for first timers. Anyhoo Enjoy!” He proclaimed and let her go.

She legged it up the stairs and we could hear the door slam.

Emmet sat back down and relaxed and started watching baseball.

“Well Emmet” I started “Thanks for screwing up my daughter, and Oh yea! I’m sure she’d be delighted to come to you for sex pointers not to mention being overjoyed because she has 4 Sex for Dummy books!” I protested sarcastically narrowing my eyes and growled at him, stumbling away to take my seat next to Edward. Alice danced up the stairs with Jasper and Rose was still frozen on the sofa. Edward got up and smacked Emmet on the back.

“Hey!” He complained shoving him over

“You total Idiot! As if matters already weren’t awkward enough you had to make it worse! Thanks for that!” He added sarcastically turning to face me again.

“Whatever, Bella was to nervous anyway, just think of it as a…Hmmm…an awkward favour, plus she needed it anyway and who cares it’s just a part of life.” He shrugged I scowled at him and hurried out the room with Edward quickly behind.

Yet Emmet’s right and I hate that…It’s apart of life…A hell of a good part of it, life will go on like always and this day will pass, although already time seems to be going slower…Damit… I ran up to see what Alice was doing, maybe if she wanted to go shopping… I grimaced at that word… Well I needed something to take my mind of this agonizingly awkward day…

“Hey Alice I was wondering if you-“ I gasped. Fuck. Oh my fucking gosh, just as I thought today couldn’t get anymore awkward I walk in on my best friend have sex with my brother in-law! Shit!She was sprawled our underneath him gasping and screaming completely naked from head to toe and Jasper on top thrusting himself into her body. He moaned in pleasure and suddenly Alice screamed undergoing an Orgasm there body’s intertwined faster and the both cried out in pleasure…Shit…

Suddenly Alice then realized I was there and she sat up and grabbed a sheet to cover her and Jasper up“Oh my gosh…I-I J-Just…Never mind…I’ll g-go” I stuttered and sprinted out.“Bella! I’m so sorry!” She yelled but I ran out down stairs were Emmet and Rosalie were watching a game. They looked up unsurprised by my presence and I lay my head down on the sofa.

I drifted off unaware of what was going on around me and thought about the dreadful day that today was. And how Emmet certainly didn’t make it any better…I just cant wait till this day passes and tomorrow will be a new day, although I can’t see Nessie recovering so quickly from the torture talk…I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

At that moment Edward lay down beside me ruffling his fingers through my hair and started humming my lullaby, and with that I let go of my worries and drifted off into a pool of pleasurable happy treasured moments…

~The End!~