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Edward Cullen Vs. Wolfgang Puck

What would happen if the Mariah Of Georgeous, (Edward) and the Jesus of cooking (Wolfgang Puck)had to go head-to-head in a cook-off? And what if that cook-off forms into something more...... a DANCE OFF!!

Yeah, the summary was correct, in this Fanfiction, you will read/witness the great Edward Cullen break-dancing!!! BTW: first fanfic, so review so i know if i suck or not!

1. The Dance-Off

Rating 5/5   Word Count 650   Review this Chapter


So, Mister BOOBY Flay thinks that he can get more fans than me, eh?

Well, not after he sees the number of twitter followers I have recently acquired due to the cook-off I have scheduled in Washington, in a town named-what was it?- oh, yes Sporks, like at Taco Bell.


“Edward, love, come here.”

I sighed to my wife, “If it’s another one of your attempts to make me try out for one of those commercials, my answer is no!”

“But this one is different!” Bella pleaded

“Oh? How?”

“Just come here!”

In a second, I was in the living room, watching Wolfgang Puck rant about how superior his cooking was, and issuing a challenge to anyone in Forks to beat him in a cook-off where he was threatening to whip each and every one of his competitors’ butts to the middle of next Tuesday.

I was filled with random fury at the figure on the screen. Was he trying to steal my girl with his show-off-ness and caviar-mayonnaise puddings?!?!?!?!?!?!? I had to fight for my girl and show her that her love laid with me, not Mr. I ♥ Caviar.

“I’ll do it!” I exclaimed. Wolfgang Puck could eat my bubbles!

Filled with determination, I marched to my room and listened to some My Chemical Romance and Vampire Weekend, which I found very invigorating.

“Edward, what are you doing?!” Bella yelled.

Oh, no. I was Bella had caught me break dancing!!!

I had the guts to answer “What did I do?”

Bella came into my room, picked up her foot, put one hand behind her head, and started randomly jerking around, much like I had just done

That is what you where doing”

I honestly didn’t find anything wrong with that move, so I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

Then I was like, YEAH?

And she was like, YEAH

(26 repetitions later……..)

Then I was like, DANCE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As if on cue, one of my all-time fave songs came on the stereo, Stayin’ Alive, by the Bee Gees (A/N ok, I get that this is really OOC, but I think we can all imagine Edward dancing to this)

My starting move was the walking man, which Bella, quickly rebuffed with a classic; The John Travolta Disco point.

These were followed by my worm, which was then challenged by Bella’s cartwheel, and so on.

When the song was coming to a close, and my bare chest (I had taken my shirt off in a move that involved a shirt for a lasso) was heaving with breaths I didn’t need, Bella suddenly busted out a move that couldn’t be described with words, upon which I admitted defeat.

“Chicken!” Bella cried, “I bet even Wolfgang Puck could dance better than you!”

That stopped me cold. How could she think that?!? “WHAT?!?!? WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?” I yelled in outrage. The house was shaking.

Bella had a mix of fury and apology in her eyes as she replied. “I said that Wolfgang Puck would be better than you at a dance off!” she said, her voice shooting through 10 octaves (it was painful even to my ears.) She left the room.

I realized something as my ear-pain was subsiding,

I realized that now, not only would I have to challenge the Jesus of cooking to a cook off, I also had to challenge him to a dance-off………………….