Edward Cullen Vs. Wolfgang Puck
What would happen if the Mariah Of Georgeous, (Edward) and the Jesus of cooking (Wolfgang Puck)had to go head-to-head in a cook-off? And what if that cook-off forms into something more...... a DANCE OFF!!
Yeah, the summary was correct, in this Fanfiction, you will read/witness the great Edward Cullen break-dancing!!! BTW: first fanfic, so review so i know if i suck or not!
2. OMG cute blonde dude in the front!
Rating 5/5 Word Count 560 Review this Chapter
(The day of the cook off)
“O.K. just remember, if you lose, then not only will Bella hate you and think that you’re a wuss, Wolfgang Pukeface gets bragging rights for all of eternity, but really, everything will be alright, really.”
I sighed. Emmett really wasn’t very good at pep talks, not that I would ever say that to his face, I just wasn’t that kind of Simon Cowell-say-it-to-their-face-type person. However, he was actually quite good at pre-battle massages, which is why i recommend him to anyone who doesn’t mind having a vampire as a misuse.
I looked around for Bella, the reason for this challenge, and I was somehow not surprised when I saw that she was in a full-body cast, and was escorted here not only by Carlisle, but Charlie, too. Charlie wouldn’t mind having Bella hate me, if it meant she would choose that dog, Jacob Black. He would rather dance in the nude in front of Obama and his family than see Bella choose me.
I went up to her to ask why she was I a full body cast now that she was officially ‘unbreakable’.
“It’s actually just for show, but people are signing my cast, my twitter account is off the hizzle, it fuels my social life! I NEED PEOPLE!!!!!” she gasped after saying it all in one breathe.
“Calm, Bella. Remember what we talked about.”
Bella’s only response to this was her tongue protruding from her mouth like a snake. A humane, brunette, full-body-cast-covered snake….. hmmm..
Focus! I told myself. You cannot afford to lose this! Find your happy song... find your happy song... find your happy…..
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm……… turns out that the song I ended up singing was ‘Tiny city made of ashes’ by Modest Mouse.... odd…
“ATTENTION ALL PARTYGOERS!!!!!” I was extremely startled by the voice of Wolfgang Puck, who was on the podium in the middle of the field where the games would take place, and who also has a voice strangely like Justin Biber. Just for the record, my personal description of his voice was that a Hannah Montana fan was trying to sing, except someone had slit her throat, and ALL the blood is rushing out, and she’s trying to sing, and that’s what his voice sounds like. (A.N. don’t kill me because I don’t like Justin, because I know some people are obsessed, and one of my friends are too, so its not like he sucks to everyone, just me) Anyways, back to what he was saying.
“AS YOU ALL KNOW” god, was he trying to break my ears to make sure I didn’t win? I’ll show him!
“MASHUGANAG!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed at the tops of my useless lungs, to show him that I could Justas easily break his ears, too.
Then I realized that everyone was staring at me. Hmmmmmmm… cute looking blonde dude in a bikini. Interesting...
After giving me a look of ‘OMG you’re such a bastard and ohmygod you look like a god’, he got back to screaming into the microphone
“ANYWAYS, AS ALL OF YOU KNOW, I AM SIMPLY SUPERIOR TO ALL OF YOU IN EVERYTHING, AND TODAY IS YOUR ONE PATHETIC CHANCE TO PROVE ME WRONG. ANY CONTESTANTS?”
I was the only one raising my hand?!?? WTF?
- tyler crow sux
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