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Edward Cullen Vs. Wolfgang Puck

What would happen if the Mariah Of Georgeous, (Edward) and the Jesus of cooking (Wolfgang Puck)had to go head-to-head in a cook-off? And what if that cook-off forms into something more...... a DANCE OFF!!

Yeah, the summary was correct, in this Fanfiction, you will read/witness the great Edward Cullen break-dancing!!! BTW: first fanfic, so review so i know if i suck or not!

3. MUFFIN TIME!!! (and sledgehammers....)

Rating 5/5   Word Count 674   Review this Chapter


Phew, poo kinka-didly-doo….humph, grunt, YIPEE!!!!!!

That’s my pep talk for myself to get hyped up. See why I have Emmett? Anyways, this was it, the cook-off was starting in

10, 9….

Oh POOPERS! I wanted to win this sooo badly.

…7, 6

Ok, I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only person here who’s in a time-freeze tank, but it seems like it...

…4, 3

PANICATTACK!!!!!!!!!!! Omygodicanttaklimhyperventilating…



Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, it started!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I had NO INGRIDIENTS!!!!!!


“Due to the fact that my SOUP-piriorness (A/N get it? Get it? Soup? NO? Me neither) is overwhelming, the only contestant, Eddy McMullen, gets to choose the recipe that we have to perfect. EDDY?”

Humph, I wasn’t too happy with the fact that my new name was Eddy, but it sort of had a ring to it…….. “I’m gonna make muffins!!!!!!!!!!”

“And what kiiiind of muffin do you want to make, peasant?”

“Hmmmmm… Banana. I wasn’t aware there was any other kind, mister piggy-diddly doo” OH SWEET SANTA CLAUSE STANDING ON ONE FOOT, DID I SAY THAT LAST PART OUT LOUD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


OK, I knew how to make stuff! I could make muffins! Could I? Hmm...

I put a couple eggs, shells intact. I remember people telling me to make sure that you didn’t crack the egg into too many parts, and I figured if I didn’t crack them at all, that would be even better. Then I added an entire bag of salt, and after slight hesitation, I threw the bag in as well, for extra flavor. I knew they had to have banana in them, so I added the entire banana tree that I had on hand. After I somehow shoved the entire thing in the oven, I was feeling pretty confident with myself and my muffins. I went to see how Bella was doing.

My gut was ripped out.

Not only was Puck already done, with half an hour left, but he was doing a stage dive. WITH NO STAGE!!!!!! Not only that, but Bella was too! NEXT TO HIM!!!! She could have at least barfed on him, but no, she was doing just fine. Oh, wait; she was unconscious… that explained a lot…

My thoughts were immediately cut off as I heard an irritable ding sound, and realized that my muffins were done with the first half of their baking. Rushing to my oven, I took out the muffins with my bare hands, making sure no-one was looking, and put them on a board. I quickly scanned my mind for things to put on top, and the first thing that came to mind was butter, sprinkles, and sugar. YUMMY IN MY TUMMY! When I was done with applying that on the tops of my muffins with a sledgehammer, which was conveniently in my carry-on, I shoved them in the oven for 5 minutes, but when I realized that I only had 4 minutes left, I pulled them back out, butter still hard, and put them on a plate.

I ran up to Bella, who had not yet regained consciousness, and shoved one in her mouth, only to have her turn into a zombie and barf it up all over me. I just barely heard her moan ‘nasty, nasty, nasty, tops are un-nasty,’ before she ran to the blond dude in a bikini and made him a zombie as well... hmm... Whatever.

Since Bella was my main source of criticism, and she thought the only part that was good was the tops… BRAINBLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would only serve the tops! Sure, everyone would gain 50 pounds, but I would WIN!!!

NowI know I would do it, but when and how was the question…