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Vietato per Ricordare

Summary:
Bella jumps off of the cliff in New Moon...but it wasn't Jacob who saved her. Tanya Denali and her sisters offer to take care of the delirious Bella. She can only remember one thing- her name. What happens when Edward shows up after he finds out Bella has died? If Bella can't remember, and she's so altered completely after her transformation into a vampire, how will they know? And was this someone's plan all along? Who was in on it? It's finished! Look out for a sequel (:*AND IF YOU READ IT, PLEASE TAKE TIME TO REVIEW IT!*Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget- it's a hard line to walk.Vietato per Ricordare Banner by poptartsandshoelaces Ahem, banner by me(: I stared at him, trying to find an answer for what he just said. He was right. There might not even be a heaven for all we know, and here I was, attempting to get his hopes up that there was when I knew he had no hope for anything left. “Love never fails.” I said simply.It's finished! It's so sad to see it end! But I'll be back before ya know it :D


Notes:


5. Edward

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1870   Review this Chapter

Chapter 5: Edward

I hadn’t kept track of time much, it sort of got away from me, but I assume it’s been about a month since Edward has come to stay with us. I’ve kept a careful distance from him, but I still see Tanya eyeing me speculatively every so often. We’ve said nothing but a few “Hello, how are you?”’s, but I did nothing to make Tanya regret saving me.

It was very difficult for me though to keep such a vast amount of space between us. The way he smiled at Tanya made me a little…jealous, I suppose. I wanted him to look at me that way. Maybe he would if Tanya weren’t so defensive about him.

No, I shouldn’t think of her like that. She did me a favor by saving me, and I should be grateful. After all, she’s known him so much longer than I, and he probably felt the same as she did about him. It hurt to think about sometimes though.

Kate had become unusually distant lately. She wasn’t friendly like she was the first day that I awoke here. I wondered if she felt the same way I did about Edward and the same way Tanya did. But, she rarely talked to me.

Irina and I had become very close, however. She taught me a few tricks for sketching, and once in a while, I would draw whatever really came to my mind. Sometimes, they even turned out pretty well.

I sat in Irina’s room, quietly sketching a sad picture of a boy and a girl in a forest that I saw in my head. I think it may have come from one of the few books that I’ve read recently. Perhaps Wuthering Heights-

I’d become attached to it, reading and rereading it almost every day- but I don’t remember any scenes from the book like this. Nobody was home, and I enjoyed the quiet. I think they all went out hunting, but no one bothered to tell me; Tanya has been a bit preoccupied lately.

In the sketch, was a beautiful red haired boy standing in front of a dark brown haired girl with her head down. He had his hands wrapped around her wrists, pinning them to her sides. The forest around them, if colored, would be brooding. It would take over the entire scene, encroaching on them, engulfing them in green. I recognized this place somehow, but I couldn’t remember why.

I heard footsteps in the hallway, coming towards me, and I immediately stopped my pencil sketch, and flipped to a different page, doodling aimlessly on the blank sheet of paper.

The door opened slightly, and Edward’s head peeked in. I looked up at him and smiled. “Hello.” His perfect, velvety smooth voice whispered.

“Hi, Edward. I thought everyone went hunting.” I said, though it sounded like a question. He stepped inside and took his place on the couch in front of me. I closed my sketchpad and set it down on the floor beside me.

He shrugged. “They went to the mall, and I really didn’t feel like wearing a long sleeve shirt and hooded jacket.” He chuckled and looked at the sketchpad that I set down. “What were you drawing?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Nothing really, just doodling. I’m really starting to enjoy it; Irina taught me a few things.” I said.

“Irina has always been a beautiful artist, ever since I’ve known her.” He said, his features becoming relaxed, as he looked down at the ground.

I noticed before he looked down that his eyes were turning black- he was thirsty. I knew what I was going to do. It would be a betrayal to my own promise, and a betrayal to Tanya.

“Did you want to go hunting? You’re eyes a getting darker and darker by the day, and I haven’t gone in a week or so. I’m a little thirsty.” I said, as casually as I could so that I wouldn’t give anything away.

His hand reached up to touch his face and he smiled.

“Sure, I’ve only gone once since I’ve gotten here- I’m famished.” He stood up and strode quickly to the door.

I got up slower than he did and walked out to the hallway. He laughed at my listlessness and I scowled.

“So Lillian, do you think you can keep up?” he mocked.

“I’m not sure, Edward. But you have to remember, I’m a fairly new vampire- I’m pretty fast.” I countered, as we walked outside to the wonderful May air.

“I’ve always been the fastest in my family. I really do hope you’re ready.”

“How about you lead.”

He smiled the crooked smile that I loved to see, and it looked like he actually meant it this time- it reached his eyes. “Sounds like a plan.”

We ran most of the way in silence- it was hard to keep up with him. He was incredibly fast, and even though I was a new vampire, I still couldn’t match his long strides. Finally, after about twenty minutes of running, we found a herd of elk drinking near a river.

“Is this good enough for you?” he asked, spinning around to face me. “We can go further if you’d like and find a couple of bears or something,”

“Nope, this is perfect.” I said, and looked through the large herd of elk to find the one I wanted most. Edward and I both moved to a defensive crouch, ready to jump, and when we did, we both landed on the same elk.

When we noticed, we both looked up at each other and laughed. I stood up, and began to go for another one which was unperturbed, still drinking on the other side of the river.

“No, no. You take this one.” He said, and before I could even argue, he was pouncing on the other elk. It was fascinating to watch. The preciseness of his movements, and the litheness, was unbelievable. I looked away, back down at the animal lying helpless in front of me, before he noticed I was staring.

After we both finished, he asked again if I’d like to go somewhere else to hunt, but I declined again.

“I’m very sorry about earlier,” he said, chuckling. “I’m used to hearing everyone’s thoughts…” he said, trailing off again, getting that unfamiliar look in his eyes.

“Why do you think you can’t hear mine?” I asked, as I began to run.

He kept pace with me this time, shortening his stride to match mine. “That’s a good question, and you’re not the first to ask it. It’s so…frustrating not knowing. Forgive me if I ever lose my temper because of it. There was only one other person that I couldn’t hear…” he trailed off again, and stopped talking.

“Who was it?” I asked, though I knew it was a delicate subject to enter, on account of the looks he got whenever I mentioned something like this.

He waited a moment, and looked up into the sky. “My girlfriend…well…more than that actually. Much more than that- she was the love of my life.” He said, nodding his head and looked straight forward, moving nothing but his legs.

“You weren’t able to hear her thoughts?” I asked, trying to bring him back to the bigger subject at hand.

He sighed, looking back over at me. “No, no I couldn’t. And it was very hard at first, not knowing what she was thinking. But as I became closer to her, it was much easier for some reason. I began to read her expressions, and lots of her thoughts about me were clear just from her blush…or her heartbeat…”

He caught me off guard as he said ‘blush’ and ‘heartbeat.’ I tried to make sense of it, thinking that perhaps, he made a mistake in his words. But he showed nothing in his features that made it seem that way. And then it hit me- like a slap in the face. I stopped running for a moment, slowing down to a jog.

“She was human?” I asked, trying to keep my voice at a remotely normal level, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from looking at him dubiously.

“Yes, she was.” He said, motioning for me to keep running. When I did, and got back up to pace with him, he continued. “And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Of course, I wished selfishly for her to be like one of us, but like I said, it was selfish, and I couldn’t risk her like that. I couldn’t risk her soul for my own wants.”

“So she knew about us? About vampires?”

“Yes, I didn’t tell her though. She figured it all out on her own. She was very smart…and none of it bothered her. She took everything that I told her so coolly. She was extraordinary.” He said, and I didn’t dare say anymore on the subject.

I could tell that something happened to her for a few reasons. One reason was because Edward spoke of her only in past tense when he was telling me about her. And the second reason being that if she was the love of his life, wouldn’t he be with her right now, and not here in Alaska?

What was unbelievable was that she was human. I had never felt it, never experienced the taste, let alone the smell, of human blood, but Irina told me that it sends us on a type of frenzy. If he was in love with her, I couldn’t imagine the dangers that imposed on her.

We were almost to the house now, and I slowed down my run to a jog, and so did Edward.

He looked over at me, and smiled sheepishly. “Lillian, I want to thank you so much for listening to me today. I was worried that when I came here, all I’d hear were demands for answers, but…I haven’t- not from you at least,” he smiled wider now and continued. “Thank you, Lillian.”

He said again, and ran off into the house.

I stood there thinking for a minute. I wanted so badly to tell him my real name, let him know my secrets. I wanted to tell him how I really got here.

Somehow now, I felt a certain closeness to Edward. We were friends now, but shouldn’t friends tell friends everything?

I still had a suspicion that he was hiding something from me. Like he was holding back information that he didn’t want to tell me.

But in a way, wasn’t I holding back information? Tanya wouldn’t even let me tell him my name, and that was the only thing that I could actually remember. Why couldn’t I just tell him that...

Right now, as a vampire, there was one thing that I missed the most, and that was the ability to cry.