Vietato per Ricordare
Bella jumps off of the cliff in New Moon...but it wasn't Jacob who saved her. Tanya Denali and her sisters offer to take care of the delirious Bella. She can only remember one thing- her name. What happens when Edward shows up after he finds out Bella has died? If Bella can't remember, and she's so altered completely after her transformation into a vampire, how will they know? And was this someone's plan all along? Who was in on it? It's finished! Look out for a sequel (:*AND IF YOU READ IT, PLEASE TAKE TIME TO REVIEW IT!*Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget- it's a hard line to walk. Ahem, banner by me(: I stared at him, trying to find an answer for what he just said. He was right. There might not even be a heaven for all we know, and here I was, attempting to get his hopes up that there was when I knew he had no hope for anything left. “Love never fails.” I said simply.It's finished! It's so sad to see it end! But I'll be back before ya know it :D
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Chapter 7: Lies
He stood up slowly, gracefully. It was better to see this side of him, much more natural what I saw in Irina’s room. He faced me, and cocked his head to the side. “Why do you want to know?”
My face was perfectly composed into an expression of pure concern. “Because every time I see you, you’re in pain. I’ve seen a genuine smile on your face maybe two times since you’ve been here. I want to know why you think you aren’t strong enough to go back to your own family.” My voice ended up almost in a whisper that was barely audible to my own ears.
He turned around quickly, and strode a few steps away from me. He ran his hand through his thick bronze hair, sighing loudly.
“You wouldn’t be able to empathize with me if I told you everything. I haven’t spoken to anyone about this, not even my family.” He turned around again to face me.
“I could try,” I whispered.
His eyes became distant again, his stare cold as he spoke. “She was supposed to be my forever. She was the only thing that I lived for and the only thing that I needed in my life. Before her, I had nothing; I felt like there was something missing, but I never knew what it was- and then I saw her. At first, her scent was so overpowering, and I couldn’t barely stand to be in the same room as her. The moment I saw her, I could’ve risked everything and killed her right in that moment. But I didn’t, I refused to disobey Carlisle, and put my family to shame- put myself to shame.
“So I came here, to Denali, to make an attempt to run away. I couldn’t even face my mother then. Couldn’t face anyone. Tanya was here to help me, just as I thought she would. And that’s why I came back here, to try and heal. But Tanya has been much less than useful. She’s just trying to get to me, now that…she’s gone.
“When I went back to school, she was there. And I felt much stronger, because I had hunted several times, taking much precaution. It worked and she and I became inseparable. It became easier to be in her presence, and my bloodlust was more tractable to control.
“But it wasn’t I who risked her life first. On our first date, we sent an unexpected tracker on a wild goose chase for her. We took her all over the place, trying to keep her safe. Eventually it worked out, but I felt horrible putting her through it.”
I couldn’t believe the things that he had done because of his love for her. I felt envious of this girl, whoever she was. She must have been so special to him, and now that he’d made this all clear, I realized why he had been acting so guarded. I wished to myself that I had never asked. There was no reason to make him go back and relive this horrible story.
“And then, last year she got a paper cut, and my brother…” his voice was barely a whisper now, his golden eyes focused on my face “I was forced to leave her. I couldn’t put her in anymore danger. It was a foolish act, and I regret it to this day, and will for as long as I exist. She killed herself a few weeks ago because of me.” His tone shook wildly on the last sentence.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, stepping forward to comfort him. “You don’t know that it was because of you.”
“She was always so happy, she wouldn’t do it for any other reason. It was because I left and told her I didn’t love her anymore.” He closed his eyes and looked down.
I took another step forward, pulling him into an awkward hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I felt his around my waist.
“You lied to save her,” I whispered, and could feel his head nodding above my shoulder.
“And I get so frustrated when I’m around you because you remind me so much of her. You’re so kind, and you have almost the same hair as she did,” He said, pulling away from me swiftly. “I miss her eyes the most though. They were a beautiful chocolate brown, and I felt like I could stare into them forever…”
“You’ll find her someday,” I promised him, as I sat down on the rock he was on when I found him. “You’ll find each other.”
He looked at me incredulously. “How could you even say that? Even if there is some sort of heaven for our kind, I will never make it in because I’m so selfish, and terrible, and masochistic, and I make myself sick. I’m a monster, Lillian. I’ll never be anything more than that.”
I stared at him, trying to find an answer for what he just said. He was right. There might not even be a heaven for all we know, and here I was, attempting to get his hopes up that there was when I knew he had no hope for anything left. “Love never fails.” I said simply.
“Everything has the ability to fail- love is no exception.” He said, grimly, tearing away from my gaze and turning to a small tree. He tore it out of the ground, and threw it into another causing it to break.
“True love is different,” I whispered. He stopped suddenly, in the middle of extracting another tree from the wet ground. His hand unclenched from around it. I was afraid that I was going to see the scary side of him again.
He looked at me for a moment, and his eyes narrowed. That’s not what you’re really thinking.”
“Yes it is,” I said, truthfully. “True love conquers all. Someday, and I’m not sure when that day may be, you’ll find her somehow.”
He didn’t move an inch and his eyes never quit their ominous gape. “Lies,” he whispered, and so fast I barely saw, ran back towards the house.
I stared back at the little grey house that was covered in snow. The sunlight tinged off each flake, creating a shimmer of rainbows in the lawn and on the roof.
I looked back down at my hands, which were also glinting. I looked up and saw an opening in the trees, letting the sunlight pour in. Extending my arm, I watched the little facets sparkle on my skin and I remembered what Irina said about being in the sun.
But my thoughts tracked back to Edward. I thought about the way his eyes looked when he said ‘lies;’ I could tell he didn’t believe a word I was saying from the very start. But things should all work out for Edward. He didn’t deserve all of the horrible happenings that had occurred in his life.
He didn’t deserve to hurt like he did anymore…and I had to explain that to him.
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- 28 Aug 09
- 09 Oct 09