Bella's life takes on a new path when she realizes Edward is not coming back. Falling in love with Jacob Black will be the easy part. The hard part - surviving the consequences of her love for a vampire and overcoming the obstacles that come with loving a werewolf. Set in New Moon. This story is so sweet it makes carebears cry rainbows!
So this is my first run at fanfiction. It has been an incredible ride and I'm very pleased with this story. I hope that you can see my progression through each chapter.
(Updated with each new chapter)
Chap 1Hiding My Heart - Brandi Carlile
Breath - Breaking Benjamin Alone in this Bed - Framing Hanley
Inside of Love- Nada Surf Matter of Time - Rescues
Chap 1Hiding My Heart - Brandi Carlile
1. Chapter 1: Needs
Rating 0/5 Word Count 957 Review this Chapter
"Jacob...I'm sorry, so very sorry," I said, the events of the last week still heavy on my mind.
I had selfishly gone cliff diving alone, resulting in tragedy. At the time, I hadn't registered the ramifications of that decision. I was just so consumed trying to hear...trying to hear his voice. Edwards voice.
The end result to my little stunt was a near drowning experience, saved only by Jacob Black. It was a new running trend with Jacob, saving me from myself. You would think that after the motorcycle incident, Jacob would have started to avoid me. I guess Jacob Black was a glutton for punishment.
As if those experiences weren't enough, the day after Harry Clearwater's funeral, Jacob-along with the rest of the wolf pack-saved me from being killed by Victoria. I never actually witnessed this, nor did I know that I was in close danger of dying. Well, I knew Victoria was out to kill me, just not the precise time. Jacob and the others had handled it and destroyed the evidence before I knew what had happened.
To say I was a danger magnet was an understatement of gigantic proportions.
Jacob greeted me like always with a giant hug, warming every nerve ending in my body, and sending comfort into the depths of my soul.
"Bells, quit saying you're sorry. I've come to appreciate saving your butt from danger," he said smirking. "It's what I do."
I couldn't help but smile at Jake's enthusiasm, his charisma. He filled me with a happiness that I once thought was gone forever. My heart, once frozen, was now slowly thawing into a living, beating organ.
Over the last few months my feelings had slowly changed and I was more than aware of it. I found my thoughts always turning back to Jacob. Something within my soul was shifting, my inner core stirring itself from the perpetual darkness that had enveloped it for so long. The nightmares had become almost non-existent, up until the last week anyway. I had learned to smile again and allow myself to be happy.
Edward left me broken and in pieces, a shell of a person. The hole in my heart had instantly taken my life from me. Although it had been months, I hadn't made much progress, until...well, until Jacob.
"Bells, are you going to stay in la-la land all day?"
"Uh, no, huh. What did you say?"
Jacob gave me another squeeze. He was always so attuned to what I needed and I lingered a bit longer than I should in his embrace.
"Do you want to defy fate, or just hang out and watch TV?"
"TV." I nodded in agreement, although I really didn't want to be home again. I had pretty much been stuck in the confines of my house since the near drowning experience. Other than returning to school the last two days, I hadn't seen much of the outside world. Charlie was conducting a safety course for "rookie cops" at the academy in Seattle. It was something he did for extra money from time to time. He would be gone all day. But as long as Jake was here, I knew I would be okay.
Jacob moved to the couch and I made my way over to sit by him. In just a few seconds, he grabbed my hands and started tracing imaginary lines on the inside of my palm.
Hand-holding wasn't out of the ordinary for us. I guess most girl/guy friendships didn't include such intimate displays, but ours did. Jacob and I were intimate without being intimate.
Of course, I felt bad for blurring the lines with Jacob. His feelings for me were more than friendship. He had made that clear. And although my feelings for him were more than an ordinary friendship, I wasn't capable of loving him the way he wanted me too. The way he needed me to. The way he deserved. I was damaged beyond repair.
I wanted so badly to give him more, but I just couldn't bring myself to that point. I was attracted to him, this I knew after a near kiss the other night. I enjoyed being with Jacob and he made me feel safe and loved. But, he...Edward...tore me-no, ripped me-and I was perpetually useless in the love department.
"There you go back to la-la land," Jake said elbowing me in the ribs.
I hadn't noticed that he had let go of my hand. I wondered how long I had been lost in thought.
"You know Bella, if you'd rather be alone, I understand," he grabbed my hand again and started tracing the invisible lines once more.
"No, no, I'm sorry. I really want you here." I need you here, is what I should have said, but as usual the right words refused to form in my mind. I had learned to be very careful when I talked to Jacob. I had to choose the right words in the right way; I couldn't risk giving him the wrong idea.
"Are you hungry?" I asked, knowing the answer before he spoke.
I made my way to the kitchen and got out a pizza box with last night's leftovers. After a minute in the microwave I carried a plate and a soft drink back into the living room.
"You not eating?" Jacob asked suspiciously
"Big breakfast," I lied. Truthfully, I was nauseous and the thought of food was making me sick.
My mind felt fuzzy, and my ability to focus was a huge challenge. I sat down at the opposite end of the couch and curled my legs under me. I propped my head on a small pillow and closed my eyes for just a bit.