Bella's life takes on a new path when she realizes Edward is not coming back. Falling in love with Jacob Black will be the easy part. The hard part - surviving the consequences of her love for a vampire and overcoming the obstacles that come with loving a werewolf. Set in New Moon. This story is so sweet it makes carebears cry rainbows!
So this is my first run at fanfiction. It has been an incredible ride and I'm very pleased with this story. I hope that you can see my progression through each chapter.
(Updated with each new chapter)
Chap 1Hiding My Heart - Brandi Carlile
Breath - Breaking Benjamin Alone in this Bed - Framing Hanley
Inside of Love- Nada Surf Matter of Time - Rescues
Chap 1Hiding My Heart - Brandi Carlile
6. Chapter 6: Wolf Rules
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4922 Review this Chapter
Playlist: Wait For Me by Max Morgan
An eternity seemed to have passed, while Jacob and I embraced. Jacob’s touch said so much more than any words could. Our closeness, our bond, was incredible.
“You should get dressed.” Jacob said, eyeing the towel around me. In our compromised position, the towel that had been covering me was barely hanging on. I pulled it tight, trying to escape embarrassment. I wasn't as comfortable with my body as Jacob was his.
“Modesty suits you, Bells,” Jake said as he pulled on the towel that I was still clutching around me.
“You could use a little more modesty yourself.” I said the words dryly, rubbing my hands faintly across his bare chest and then up to his face. He kissed my fingers, and stood up straight. “I can’t help it that I’m cursed with this magnificent body.” Jacob rubbed his hands across his chest, emphasizing each defined muscle.
“I’m rendered speechless. Really, I am. But, um, I could use a little help. Please. I wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics, or Charlie, why I had a broken leg from trying to get myself down from your bathroom sink, wrapped only in a towel.”
“OK, fine. But I like you better in the towel.” Jacob said as he hoisted me from the sink.
“You know, you should put on some clothes. You’re always naked. Naked. Naked.” He said mocking my earlier tone.
Once he was gone, I examined the clothes that Jacob had brought me. The shorts I was sure belonged to him pre-wolf days. They didn’t look like they would fit him now, but they were still huge on me. I had to fold the waist at least four times just to keep them up. It was really pointless to wear them, considering the t shirt he gave me came down to my knees. I might as well be wearing a tent. But I had to make do, I didn’t have anything else. I picked up my other clothes, removing the picture and the money that was still in my pocket. I laid them on the dresser in Jake’s room before going into the living room.
“Wow, that’s a real nice look.” Jacob said as he pulled me down onto the couch beside him.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
I averted my eyes away from Jacob, still bare-chested. I pretended to be interested in the reality show that was on T V. I didn’t understand how a man in the wilderness, looking for berries and leaves, could be so captivating. To each their own. I looked up at Jacob and he seemed to be enjoying it.
I snuggled closer, laying my head on Jacob’s chest. He was so warm and inviting. Just being next to him gave me the same calming relief as the bubble bath, maybe a little more.
We sat there for another few minutes, when Emily came in.
“Bella, I brought you some soup. Might make you feel better.”
“Thanks, Emily. I guess I am a bit hungry.”
She took the contents she was carrying into the kitchen and Jacob followed her.
“Billy’s over at Sues and will be home later. He wanted me to give you the message. Bella do you need anything?”
“No. Thank you. I’m fine, really. Jake takes good care of me.”
“OK, well I’m off. I’ll see you two later.”
I was hungrier than I realized and ate two bowls of Emily’s wonderful chicken noodle soup. It felt really good on my raw, achy, throat.
After Jacob and I had finished eating, he helped me clear the table and clean up. I was barely able to stay awake. I was exhausted. My body felt like it was on the verge of collapse.
“Well, it’s time for you to sleep,” Jacob said, pushing me toward his room.
“I don’t need to.” I knew that my lie wasn’t convincing. Because of my exhaustion, I barely could say the words.
“Here, you can sleep in my bed. I’ll tuck you in nice and tight.”
“You know, if you stayed in here with me, I wouldn’t need to be tucked in.”
“Bella, you really need some sleep. I promised Charlie that I’d take care of you. I don’t think that included sleeping in the same bed with you”
“Jake, please, just lie here with me for a little while.” I knew I was being clingy and needy, but I would later blame it on the exhaustion.
I didn’t wake up until the next morning. Jacob was cuddled beside me with his big arm around my waist.
I was groggy and my eyes took forever to adjust to the bright sunlight pouring in. I adjusted myself so I could get up from Jacob’s hold. He was so peaceful lying there, sleeping soundly. Purity and goodness was evident in Jacob and I found him to be a refuge.
I thought for sure Charlie would have come back to pick me up. I couldn’t help but think something must have gone wrong.
After I went to the bathroom, I headed for the kitchen. Billy was in the living room reading the newspaper.
“Charlie came by last night, while you were asleep. He agreed to let you stay when he saw how peaceful you were.”
So, Charlie had seen me asleep in Jacob’s bed. Billy must have been able to read the confusion in my face.
“Jacob was out on patrol with Sam, when Charlie came. He gave in, when I told him Jacob would be with Sam for the evening.”
Billy was covering for me but I didn’t know why. Why did he care if I slept here or not? Especially, since Jacob wasn’t even here with me. I hadn’t even realized that he left.”
Again, Billy could read my mind.
“Bella, I didn’t lie to Charlie. I just mislead him a little. Jacob didn’t quit patrolling until midnight. But he came straight home.”
“Thanks, Billy. I really did sleep well.”
I felt uncomfortable sitting alone with Billy. I liked Billy and I was certain he liked me But with Jake in the other room it seemed strange to be alone with Billy. We didn’t have anything to talk about. Billy, like Charlie would never receive a wonderful-conversationalist award. The room felt awkward in the silence, and after a few moments, I went back to lie down beside of Jacob.
He had rolled over onto his stomach and had his arms beneath the pillow. I crawled slowly over him, surprising myself when I didn’t fall. I sat against the top of the bed and began softly rubbing Jacob’s dark hair. I hadn’t really gotten used to seeing Jake with short hair. It looked good, too good, sometimes. But I missed the long hair; part of me missed the simplicity of Jacob before he became a werewolf.
I moved my fingers down the back of his neck, and began tracing along the ridges of his back. Even lying there, still and asleep, every muscle was defined. Every part of Jacob was completely perfect. He was soft and smooth and warm. I loved being warm next to him. Jacob was big and strong, but he wasn’t scary. At least he wasn’t scary to me.
I continued moving my hands along Jacob’s body, stopping short at the waist band of his boxer shorts. As if constantly seeing him shirtless wasn’t bad enough, he had slept next to me in nothing but his underwear.
I never had to exercise restraint with Edward; he always kept me in check. But all bets were off with Jacob and resisting him was near impossible.
Physical pleasure with Edward, outside of muted kissing, was not an option. Our relationship had been practically void of it. I knew the time would come for me and Jacob to take that step, to become intimate, and I had to admit to myself how scary that was.
“Good morning.” I said to him as he began to wake up.
“Good morning, yourself. Sleep well?” he said mid yawn.
I nodded at his question, and he moved closer to me. He nuzzled his head in my lap and wrapped his arms around me.
Speak, I needed to speak. But I was desensitized. Every nerve in my body was melting and I felt like liquid.
“Bells.” He grabbed my hand and started rubbing my palm with his finger.
“I love you. More than anything I love you.” He gave me a giant squeeze.
“Dad promised Charlie, that I would bring you straight home this morning. We better get going. I don’t need to give him any other reasons to hate me right now.”
Jacob was out of the bed in a flash. He grabbed some fresh clothes and headed for the bathroom. I gathered up my things, leaving the money on Jacob’s dresser. I went into the living room to wait for him.
“Hey Bella, what do you say before I take you home, we grab breakfast. Believe it or not, I’m kind of hungry.”
“Sure.” I agreed. Jacob was always hungry.
I said my goodbyes to Billy and walked outside with Jacob to get in his car. The sun was still shining, and the air felt nice on my face.
Jacob opened the car door for me.
“Always a gentleman.”
“I’d do anything for the lady that I love.” He kissed my forehead and ran around to the driver’s side.
After we ate a quick breakfast, Jacob dropped me off at home.
"Jacob's not coming in?" Charlie asked, as I walked in the front door.
"He decided to go to school. He thought missing two classes would be better than missing a whole day. But don't worry, he'll be over later." I was surprised that Jacob wanted to go to school. He normally didn't need an excuse to ditch.
Charlie looked uncomfortable trying to find something to say. I knew he was worried about me, he just didn't know how to verbalize it.
"I'm fine Dad, really. I'm going back to school tomorrow myself."
"You don't have to push yourself."
I started to head upstairs when Charlie yelled at me.
"Oh, Bella, you have a package on the kitchen counter. It's from Renee. You should call her. She's worried."
I went into the kitchen and opened the box. A cell phone, Renee had sent me a cell phone. It was a sincere enough gesture and Renee had my best interests at heart. I had never owned a cell phone and would probably need a tutor just to program it. I giggled at the realization that a cell phone would be a useless weapon against my normal poisons. Was I becoming a sadist? I giggled again at the thought.
I decided to send her an email to tell her thanks. I really was not up for a phone conversation.
The rest of the day seemed to go by so slowly. I kept thinking of Jacob. My anticipation over his visit tonight was driving me mad. I didn't really know what time to expect him. I made dinner for Charlie and myself, and had the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned by 7:15. I had called Jacob's house, but no answer. I was growing anxious and worried. Maybe Jake could use a cell phone instead of me. I joined Charlie in the living room. He was watching an old basketball game on ESPN classic.
I sighed as I found myself a spot on the couch. I sighed as I tucked my legs under me. I sighed as I fluffed my pillows.
Charlie looked at me, aggravated by my distraction.
"Is there a problem?"
"No," I sighed.
"I don't know why you trouble yourself with boys. You should be worrying about college, not some boy."
"Jacob's not just some boy." It wasn't necessary that I reminded Charlie of that. Billy was Charlie's very best friend; Jake was practically family to Charlie.
College, I hadn't even thought of it. Time was running out if I planned to go in the fall. I had to make an effort to stop by the guidance office at school tomorrow.
Charlie just looked at me with his eyebrows raised, he was so skeptical. I couldn't take sitting in the living room any longer. Where was Jake? I tried calling again, no answer. I stood in the kitchen for a few seconds longer and then I heard a knock on the door.
"Bella, you're prince is here." Charlie had no intention of letting Jacob in. So, I broke land speed records racing to the door.
"Hi Bella. Hi Charlie."
"Jake." Charlie nodded, never moving his eyes from the T V.
"It's still light out, you want to go for a walk?" Jacob asked. I could tell he was trying to earn back some of Charlie's trust with sincerity.
"I love that idea. I could use some fresh air." I spat out the last part to Charlie, but his eyes were fixed on the ballgame.
Once we were outside, Jacob's demeanor changed. I wasn't really expecting him to want to go on a walk. He seemed tense as he spoke and I could tell by the far away look in his eyes that something else was on his mind.
Jacob grabbed my hands, and led me to a grassy spot, beneath some trees on the far corner of Charlie's property.
"I don't really don't know where to start." The look on Jacob's face was disconcerting. His flawless features seemed out of character on such a serious, worried face.
"You are the most important thing to me, your happiness, your safety." Jacob struggled to speak, his eyes shifting anywhere, but to me.
"There is so much I need you to understand about who I am, about what is to be expected of me."
Jacob continued to grasp my hands as he prepared to move our discussion forward. I emotionally braced myself for the worse.
"Being a member of the pack is one thing, but now I'm held to a higher standard and the requirements set for me are different. I have to abide by the guidelines set by the tribal elders."
"Guidelines?" I asked.
"After the first time Sam phased, the tribal elders decided to re-write the pack laws. Times had changed since the original assembly, and the guidelines needed modification in order to be efficient. Most of the pack rules are simple enough, but the rules for alpha are a little more complicated."
Jacob seemed so wise, so much older than a boy of sixteen. I longed for the care free, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants Jacob. The boy that taught me to ride a motorcycle and went hiking in the woods. I was uncomfortable with this new Jacob, the Jacob with requirements and expectations.
"I have to stay close to the tribe. I could never move outside of La Push as long as I am the alpha. That's why I couldn't go with you to Port Angeles."
"I have to be a respected and contributing member of the community, influential even. And, I have to continue educating myself on the tribe's history and legends. I have to become a formidable teacher for the younger generations."
Jacob turned away from me, hesitating to continue. He took in a deep breath and steadied himself. I could see whatever he had to say next was going to be startling.
"The elders want to make sure that I'm married by twenty-one. This way, I could father a son while I'm still phasing. They want to ensure that the tradition carries on to the next generation; it's vital to our survival. They feel that a phasing wolf will pass on a stronger gene. The agreed age was twenty-one."
My mouth was agape. How could Jacob let someone tell him when to get married and when to have children? It was completely absurd, almost cult like. It reminded me of how Jacob felt toward Sam when Jared and Paul had first phased.
"Bella, I don't want to lose you. I love you as much as humanly possible. But I am only half human; the other side of me has a destiny to be fulfilled. I don't want you to suffer because of what I am. I don't want you to give up anything for me. Please, know that I didn't choose this. If I had a choice, I'd spend my life with you, making sure you're always happy."
I dropped my hands from Jacobs grasp. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think.
"My priorities are with my tribe. There are consequences should I decide not to accept my place. I have to accept this. I have to own it."
Would Jacob be punished for not wanting to be a werewolf? Or worse, would they kill him?
"No...You...No..." I was stammering over my words at the thought of Jacob being harmed or killed.
"I was genetically chosen to lead this pack. If I were to not to accept this role, I'd lose my place within the tribe. I'd have no purpose."
My eyes were fighting back tears. This was serious, so much more than legends and myth. This was life or death. Being with Jacob had always been uncomplicated; I had never expected this.
"Do you mean that they would? Would they?" I couldn't bring myself to say the dreaded word, but Jacob knew the intent of my incoherency.
"No. Not exactly. I would just cease to exist. Dust to dust."
Jacobs's options seemed loaded. Sentenced to lead a life as a mythical monster or no life at all. The thought of Jacob being absent from me was unsettling, was preposterous. I was sure that without Jacob I couldn't even breathe.
"Bella I know this is hard for you, it's hard for me. I'm so sorry. But there is a plus side. Once the phasing stops I'm free of my duties. Free to live my life how I want. At least I'm not doomed to this life forever, just the next fifteen or so years." He gave me a quick smirk, a quick glimpse of my Jacob, underneath all the sternness and strength of a mighty warrior.
Doomed forever. I thought of Edward. How he didn't want to change me. How he had wanted me to experience life. Edward had resented forever. For him, forever was an appalling sentence, worse than death. Jacob was right; there was at least one silver lining to all of this.
"Bella are you OK?" I had momentarily let my thoughts of Edward take my concentration away from Jacob.
"Yeah, sorry. Continue. Please."
Jacob's words held so much weight. So much was depending on what he had to say. Was I strong enough to be what he needed me to be?
"I understand if you want out of this. If you're not capable of loving me the way I am. There is more to the wolf pack than just saving the reservation from vampires. We also maintain peace and order on the reservation. We try to better the lives of our tribe."
"But, what about school? You won't be a wolf forever. You need a fall back plan. You need an education, a career. Billy can't take care of you forever. "
"Valid point, but I have a plan. Actually, I'll be a high school graduate by January. School on the reservation is a little less demanding than regular public school. I plan to go to summer school and finish my required English and Math credits. When the fall semester starts, I'll be enrolled in a special apprentice fast-track program. I was able to manipulate my way in, one of the few perks of being the Alpha."
"Jacob, how will you learn two years of school in only one semester?" I asked.
"Basically, I'll be completing eight classes by January, as opposed to six classes by May. I will also get an apprentice credit by learning a skill or trade. By the time the semester is over, I'll have more than enough credits to graduate," he explained.
I was surprised at all of the detail and thought Jacob had put into his plan. It seemed concrete enough, but I had doubts. School was never Jake's strong suit. Not because he lacked intelligence, but because he lacked discipline and ambition. Of course, losing one's existence would ignite discipline and ambition. Perhaps, I didn't give Jake enough credit.
"Money is not really a problem either. The tribe has over forty acres of land to be divided among the eight of us, once Seth and Leah finally transform," he continued.
So, Seth and Leah were the next in line to become werewolves. Shock registered all over my face, and Jacob answered my question before I could even say it.
"We don't know. Leah is the first female to ever phase. The whole pack enigma is new to all of us. We're mostly learning as we go.” Jacob got up and stretched out his long arms. He walked a few feet from where I was sitting. "There's also a special trust set up for us. Once the tribe is complete with Seth and Leah, the assets will be distributed. The trustee elders have already begun the process. In a nutshell, each wolf will get so much of the trust now, and then a money transfer every three months. It's not millions, but it will be a good cushion. We are expected to make our own living; we have to contribute to the community. And holding down a job helps to hide the secret."
He continued to pace around me, explaining his plan further.
"I thought about opening a garage here in La Push with my initial money once I'm done with school. I could set my own schedule and I would have as much flexibility as I need to perform my duties as Alpha. Maybe Quil and Embry will even partner with me. I'm also going to begin building a house, which is a great way to get apprentice credits."
For the first time, Jacob’s dark eyes had a hopeful look to them. Despite the pain this transformation was causing Jacob, I was certain he was excited about building his future. I was envious of him; I hadn't made any progress toward preparing for my future.
He circled back around, and planted himself in front of me. He rubbed his hand softly on my face, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Bella, I know this is a lot to take in, and that it all seems so finalized. I don't want to take anything away from you. I want you to experience everything you deserve. But if there is any chance, any slim margin, that you would want a life with me, I promise to do everything within my realm of capability to keep you safe and happy," he continued to tocuh my face and I couldn't breathe.
I believed Jacob, and every sincere word he said. But there was no way I was ready to make a decision that would be so definite. I couldn't tell Jacob that I'd marry him within the next five years and bear his children. I loved La Push but I couldn't see myself living there. I didn't know what I wanted from life, but I was sure I wanted more than what La Push could offer me. But, I loved Jacob and I would sacrifice anything to be with him.
I was flooded with guilt. I felt like I was betraying Jacob because I didn’t want to commit. After all Jacob had done for me, I felt I was being unfair. I had been more than willing to give up everything to spend an eternity with Edward. If Edward had agreed to change me when I asked, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I had been so sure of him, of our future. I wanted it so bad, but maybe I wanted it for all the wrong reasons. I realized how foolish I was for wishing that Edward would change me.
"Jake." I shifted my body closer to him as his name slipped through my lips. I pulled him into me and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. I hugged him close as I collected my thoughts. "I don't know anything about the future; it all seems so far away and scary. I love you and that is all that matters. I love you for you, and if loving you comes with complications then I have no choice but to face them. I’m willing to take this one day at a time if it keeps me from losing you."
Jacob kissed the top of my head and gave me a tight squeeze. My response had satisfied him, at least for now. He was overcome with relief, partly because of my reaction, but mostly because he was free from the burden of telling me.
I was a little intimidated by Jacob's new found assertion. He was driven and sensible, confident and poised. He had a plan, a future, and a destiny. I had nothing of the sort. I didn't even have a tentative plan to depend on.
Jacob was practically the crowned prince of La Push, and I was simply average.
After the tension was gone, Jacob and I continued to sit outside and talked aimlessly about nothing. It was nice to be able to laugh and smile.
I realized for the first time that it’s not so much the destination that defines our happiness, it’s the path we take to get there.
The next day was a whirlwind at school. My first stop was the guidance counselor’s office. If I was going to make plans for my own future, I needed to get started since the school year was winding down.
“I’m so glad you’re back, Bella. I hope you're feeling better.” The friendly voice belonged to Angela, and I knew she was being sincere. She had called to check on me several times during my absence from school. If I had one true friend at Forks High School, it was Angela.
“Thank you. I'm doing much better,” I replied.
“Is there something that I can help you with?” Angela asked me, smiling. Angela spent her free period working in the counselor’s office, a privilege I was unable to receive, since I had been a transfer student.
“Well, actually…yes. I need to get into college.”
Angela looked at me like I had three heads. I knew what she was thinking. Why did I wait so long? I couldn’t actually tell her that I had hoped to be a vampire by now and spend an eternity with Edward Cullen, drinking blood and flying through trees. That thought caught me off guard. Was I actually bitter toward Edward? Yes I was, but I felt it was allowed, given the circumstances.
“I know I’m a bit behind, but I’ve had more pressing matters,” I explained. It was a weak excuse but I knew Angela wouldn’t press me any further. Unlike Jessica or Mike, she was very polite and tactful.
“Let me check your file for your SAT scores.”
I wasn’t very proud of my scores from the SAT test. I had taken the test in the midst of my zombie state, and hadn’t really been able to focus. I felt ridiculous for not having done any of this sooner.
“Your scores are pretty good. But you’ve missed almost all the applicant deadlines. There are a few colleges who will accept late applications with a good reason. We can start applying online immediately if you want,” she informed me.
We spent the rest of the hour applying at three schools. I still had to get my transcripts and essays ready. Angela helped me for the next three days until I had everything completed. A sense of accomplishment flooded over me once the process was over, now I just had to wait it out. I was grateful to Angela for her help. She even helped me to apply for some local scholarships.
The next couple of weeks proved to be a busy time for me. I stayed after school every day, and on Saturdays to make up the work I had missed. I decided not to return to Newton's until after graduation in order to focus on getting my grades up.
My time with Jacob became somewhat scarce, and my heart was missing him fiercely. Jacob was completing his initiation as Alpha, and I tried to give him the space he needed in order to make the transition. The break, although almost unbearable, had proved fruitful. With Angela's help, I made plans for the prom; she even helped me find a beautiful dress.
I had been adamant about not attending my senior prom or any other social function that involved dresses and dancing. But a part of me pitied Jacob for losing so much of his life. I really wanted Jacob to at least experience the prom. He was going to miss out on enough, so I figured I could endure one night of awkward torture for the sake of the boy-no,man-I loved.
I was going to offer Jacob the same courtesy that Edward had extended to me. I thought a lot about Edward, and the Cullens. I thought about them without falling apart, and I hoped beyond hope they were happy, just like me.