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Jealousy

Summary:
This story takes place during Eclipse when Bella takes off to see Jake after she finds out that she doesn't have to work. It's from Edwards perspective.


Notes:


3. Chapter 3. Confrontation

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 2128   Review this Chapter

I chanted my mantra in the couple minute run to her house. Be calm… don’t get angry… tell her how you feel…

I scaled the wall and pulled myself through her window. Charlie was on the phone when I got there.

“… glad she got out to your place Billy. Apparently my talk with her did some good. I know I gave you a hard time about the Cullens when they first got here, but you were right… at least about one of them." Charlie's thoughts as usual had me cringing. "I can barely stand to have him in the house after what he did to her.”

“Jake’s putting his best efforts toward her.”

“I sure do miss the boy. If I could only get her to see that Cullen kid is no good for her. Well, for her sake I hope Jake is giving her the full court press. Nothing would please me more to see him sitting in my kitchen every night instead of him.”

I could hardly stomach listening anymore. If he only knew… I wanted to launch myself downstairs and spill my guts to him. Yeah, his opinion of me would certainly not improve, but I highly doubt if he would feel the same about his daughter and Jacob Black if he knew the whole story. But I couldn’t, no matter how much I wanted to.

“Billy, I hear the truck pulling around the corner. Don’t want to be caught on the phone with you.

“No Problem. Talk to ya later Charlie.”

“Yeah, later.” Charlie hung up the phone. He quickly headed to the living room and flipped on the TV, trying to look like he had been there a while.

I could smell his scent on her as soon as she opened the door of the truck. I stood there by the window with my fists clenched at my sides, frozen with rage.

“Bella?” he called out to her as she came into the house.

“Hey, Dad.”

“So, how was your day?” Charlie asked innocently.

Bella walked into the living room. Furious as I was at her, I still was happy to finally see her face, even through Charlie’s eyes.

“Good, they didn’t need me at work, so I went down to La Push.” She eyed her father suspiciously as she spoke. I could tell from her expression that she knew he had talked to Billy.

“How’s Jacob?” She knows…Oh well, I really don’t care…

“Good”

“You get over to the Webers’?”

“Yep. We got all her announcements addressed”

“That’s nice. I’m glad you spent some time with your friends today” I glad you didn’t spend the day with him.

“Me too.”

She must be aware that I’m here. She looked worried as she turned toward the kitchen passing the staircase on the way. His scent mixed with her intensified as it drifted up the stairs and toward her room. My stomach twisted in a knot at the thought of him touching her, even casually. I needed to get myself under control. I didn't need a mirror to know what the expression on my face was. I would frighten her if she saw me like this.

I listened as Bella puttered around downstairs for a few more minutes, trying to pull myself together. “I’m going to go study,” she said with resignation. Her heart was racing. Yes, she knew I was here. I listened to her footfalls as she climbed the stairs at a snails pace. I could feel her fear and trepitation with every step she took. Her delays made me angrier with every second that passed. My composure was almost at the breaking point.

Finally she made it to her room. The door creaked open slowly; she pulled herself in, closing it behind her and turned to face me.

All I could smell was that dog. It overpowered even her own floral scent. Alice’s words to me were a distant memory. My head was throbbing; I could think about nothing but his slow brutal death, the need for retribution burned like acid on my tongue. There would be no relief until his blood ran down my throat. I stood there immobile with my fist clenched, too incensed to speak. They’d have to identify him by paw prints when I was through. But my anger was not only for him. I was so angry and upset by her behavior today, though I knew I had no right to be. The mere fact that she allowed me in her life excused any behavior on her part. I glared at her trying to get a fix on my emotions.

Betrayed, that’s how I felt. Recognition of it relieved some of the confusion, but not the sting of it.

“Hi,” she squeaked out.

I just glared, my ability for speech had not returned.

“Er… so, I’m still alive.”

Did she not have a clue to what I went through today? My worry… my fear… my anxiety…my brutal need for violence… The only response I was capable of was a growl.

“No harm done” How could she be so flippant about this?

I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to force the pain from my mind so I could talk to her.

“Bella,” I only just managed to get the words out. “Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?”

Her gasped broke through my anger. “You can’t” she almost yelled. “Edward they’d use almost any excuse for a fight. They’d love that. You can’t ever break the rules!”

“Maybe they aren’t the only ones that would enjoy a fight.”

“Don’t you start, you made the treaty — you stick to it.”

Don't I start? That God dammed treaty didn’t cover this. “If he’d hurt you —”

“Enough! There’s nothing to worry about. Jacob isn’t dangerous”

“Bella, you aren’t exactly the best judge of what is or isn’t dangerous.”

“I know I don’t have to worry about Jake. And neither do you”

His name rolling off her lips cut me to the bone. Maybe she was right about being safe with him, but it was irrelevant to my envy and pain. His goal was to steal her from me. She wouldn’t have went to see him if she didn’t have feelings for him on some level. And I couldn’t deny that she might be better off with him. He could give her what I never can. How could I not worry?

She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around me.

“I’m sorry I made you anxious.” She whispered into my chest.

Ah… Her warm touch was like a balm. The fear remained but the pain started to ebb away. I inhaled trying not to think about the smell.

“Anxious is a bit of an understatement. It was a very long day.”

“You weren’t to know about it. I thought you would be hunting longer.”

The sting of betrayal surfaced again. Would she have ever told me? Would she do this again? It hurt so badly. I never felt so powerless, not even when Jane had me pinned to the ground. I would find away to stop this. If I had to, I would never leave her side again. I would demand that she never go near him again.

I was getting carried away. I would not behave like a controlling maniac. I stopped and took another deep breath. I would take Alice’s advice and tell her how I feel.

“When Alice saw you disappear, I came back.” I would be calm, discuss this rationally.

“You shouldn’t have done that. Now you have to go away again”

It comforted me that she didn’t want me away. “I can wait.” I could wait forever if it kept her away from Jacob Black.

“That’s ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn’t see me with Jacob, but you should have known—”

“But I didn’t. And you can’t expect me to—”

“Oh, yes I can. That’s exactly what I expect—”

She wanted to go back again. It felt like my heart was being torn from me. “This won’t happen again.” I didn't know if I could bear it again.

“That’s right! Because you are not going to over react next time,”

“Because there’s not going to be a next time.” I didn’t care if it sounded controlling. I would not allow this.

“I understand when you have to leave, even if I don’t like it —”

“That’s not the same. I’m not risking my life.” How could she compare my forced needs to her desire to be with him?

“Neither am I.”

“Werewolves constitute a risk” I pushed my point. This was the best argument I had for her staying away from him.

“I disagree.”

I’m not negotiating this, Bella.”

“Neither am I.”

Pain, fear, envy... She wanted to be with him. I froze solid again, caught up in my agony.

“Is this really just about my safety?”

How dare she question my motives? “What do you mean?”

“You aren’t… I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right”

Behind my back she purposefully spends the morning with a guy who loves and wants her, knowing I’m well aware his feelings for her, and she thinks I wouldn’t be jealous?

“Do I?”

“Be serious.”

“Easily—there is nothing remotely humorous about this.”

“Or… is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and- werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense.”

Did she really think I give a rat’s ass about some stupid pack of shape shifters? How was it possible for her not to understand how much I loved her… how much I feared losing her? “This is only about you. All I care is that you are safe.” …and in my arms. I glared down at her forcing her to understand.

“Okay, I believe that.” Finally… she heard me. “But I want you to know something — when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythic creatures. Jacob is family. You are…well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too.”

The words that she loved me could calm me like nothing else. But did she think it could be that simple? I stared into her brown eyes. I wanted to argue, to explain.

“Switzerland.”

As if that would solve it all…

“Bella…,” I inhaled into her hair. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and that I knew that she loved me. I wanted to tell Bella her actions were hurting me, bend her to my will and demand she not go there again. But the smell of him coming off her reminded me not to give her any reason to push away from me…and pull closer to him. So I kept my feelings to myself.

“What now?” she demanded

“Well… don’t be offended, but you smell like a dog.”

I smiled. I would keep her away from him if it was the last thing I did.